Iyanla Vanzant joins Oprah Winfrey for a two-hour special event to address the growing epidemic of fatherless sons in America.
Thank goodness there were two things I could grab onto and pull myself out of the pit. The first thing I grabbed onto was my unequivocal call desire to serve God. The second thing was the love and support of the women in the community in which and through which I served God.
It is a state of mental and emotional openness and receptivity to new experiences and new interpretations of past experiences. Observation of people and/or participation in events without the imposing of personal will, perceptions, or criticisms.
Whether your tree fell on your neighbor’s house, your car got smashed, you came down with the flu or were just plain sad, we always make it through the weeping feeling drained, yet peaceful. Things do get better Beloveds, especially if we can find the little things in life that we are grateful for and use them to focus our love for everything that shows up in our lives.
I often say that if God is the Alpha (Beginning) and the Omega (the End), then the middle is already covered by the presence of God. Initially knowing this does not make hearing difficult news or facing a frightening situation easy. However, learning to lean into God’s presence rather than chasing my own thoughts has proven to save time and subdue the drama that is created when I think I am on my own.
When it’s all said and done and when we’re not looking in a mirror, we really are loving aren’t we? We really are good, loving people. All of us have a little ugly in us but for the most part, we really are love.
What I Know Now about spirituality is that you cannot make it up as you go along. The principles must be embodied, embraced, and lived. There must be accountability for the development of spiritual integrity. Whether you receive your guidance from a sacred text, a minister, or a spiritual teacher, everyone must be held accountable for the spiritual beliefs that manifest as behavior.
An experience will guide your thoughts and your actions. An experience can open your heart to new horizons or close your heart in fear. In the midst of an experience, you must have faith that you will ultimately reap some benefit from what you now know to be true.
Although many of the secrets are not taught today, make no mistake, the secrets are not lost. The sacred secrets of being a woman are etched in the soul of every woman. It is the duty of every woman to excavate the secrets of the soul and live them with grace.
The traditional Negro spiritual instructs seekers to, “wade in the water;” to be still, allowing God to move the energy around us. In scripture, we are encouraged to, “wait on the Lord and be of good courage.” While both are excellent faith-building practices, one indicates a divine delay that may ultimately work to your benefit.
You can-do anything, and navigate yourself through anything if you have the proper road map. When you are guided by peace, driven by love and if you have a clear direction you will reach the highest point of your destination. My motto is, “Begin Within!” Once you clean up the inside, everything and everyone on the outside will fall in line with your center.
I have been so busy taping more episodes for Iyanla: Fix My Life that I am going to share yet another excerpt from one of my books, Acts of Faith as today’s Monday Matters. This book is my homework assignment that I am sharing with the world. It represents all that I have learned about and grown through. I believe it has affected so many people so deeply because they are in the same life classroom in which I once sat. People want to give me the credit, but I know the success of Acts of Faith has nothing to do with me. It is the result of so many people being willing to attend life’s school. It is the outgrowth of so many of us being willing to learn and to find a better way of living. It is an answer to the silent prayer so many of us have uttered: “Oh God, please help me!” Acts of Faith has been an anchor, a rock and a guide to so many people because God always answers our prayers.
Long before the young Eminem penned the lyrics, some part of me knew “You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow!” I got my hair and nails done, put on my best suit, and flew to Chicago to seize the opportunity of a lifetime. I was going to be on the show to talk about love and relationships. Lesson number one: Never talk about stuff publicly that will be broadcasted around the world unless you are really clear that you mean what you say. My relationship with God was hit and miss at best. My marriage was on the verge of being a mess. My relationship with myself was a complete disaster, and I was slated to appear on Oprah to talk about things that I was still trying to master.
Today, I know that whenever I allow my ego to take hold, prayer will bring me back – – to my senses. I have made it a practice with a tremendous amount of help to take the time to pray everyday and to honor my prayers by remembering them. I am learning to be more patient with myself and with others especially when I am in a crisis and working to remain open to all opportunities for correction and for growth.
When you are unaware or unconcerned of what the demands are, how to meet the requirements or who has created the expectations, you can expect a hard and fast fall. Staying on the pedestal is a matter of making everyone happy, following the trends of public opinions and meeting the expectations of others.
That’s what love is about. When we bring these things to the relationship, love becomes a great multiplier and enhances the experience of life. When we do not have these things in place, the search to find love sets up the experiences we need to discover what is true about love and what is not. The discovery process is called the meantime.
In this most sacred time of fulfilling your destiny, growing in your power and realizing your dreams, that which is closest to you, can and more often than not, will turn on you. It will seem like those things and people that matter most to you go crazy, become dysfunctional and demand from you what you have not to give just because you are almost there.
Why is it that we will walk into a room of screaming children and yell at the top of our lungs, “BE QUIET!”? If you want peace, be peace.
I was compelled to check in each night in order to track the progress of certain individuals and the US teams. I was delighted to hear the news about Gabby, the first African American female to win a gold medal for gymnastics. Then . . . I read the blogs on the Internet about her hair.
I am probably not alone when I say that I did not know how to be a parent. I knew how to have children, but I had no clue about how to raise them. I knew what needed to be provided, how to get it, and how to provide it. I learned, however, that a good provider is not necessarily the same thing as a good parent.
Her Majesty the Queen is the heart. She works with the kingdom of the mind to stave off enemy invasions. She works diligently with mental, emotional and spiritual allies to create and generate well being and prosperity in the kingdom. Her natural state is poised, peaceful and merciful. There are, however, those times when she is forced into seclusion, into a period of waiting, in order to regain her strength, calm and composure. She never knows when these periods will be required or necessary. Instead, she remains ready, willing and able to submit herself to whatever is required to maintain her station for the good of the King she serves.