Rick Hanson, Ph.D.

We’re caught up in e-mails, phone calls, long hours working, schlepping kids from here to there, and trying to match velocities with everyone else who has speeded up.

It’s easy to feel stressed these days. Or worried, frustrated, or irritated about one thing or another, such as finances, work, the health of a family member, or a relationship.

To begin with, curiosity requires a willingness to see whatever is under the rocks you turn over. Usually it’s neutral or positive. But occasionally you find something that looks creepy or smells bad. Then you need courage, to face an uncomfortable aspect of yourself, other people, or the world. In this case, it helps to observe it from a distance, and try not to identify with it. Surround it with spaciousness, knowing that whatever you’ve found is just one part of a larger whole and (usually) a passing phenomenon.

You can’t change the past, or even this present moment. Looking to the future – the only thing you can actually affect – you have little influence over other people, including their thoughts, actions, or suffering. And even less influence over the economy, government policies, or international affairs. Things happen due to causes-and of the ten thousand causes upstream of this moment, most of them are out of your control.

The Practice Meditate. Why? Meditation is to the mind what aerobic exercise is to the body. Like exercise, there are many good ways to do it and you can find…

Everyday life is entangling. It’s so easy to get caught up in routines and obligations that gradually take over to set the course of your life. It may look goal-directed – make breakfast, get the kids to school, go to work, return home, make dinner, go to bed, repeat the next day – but we know inside that there is no deep purpose to it, no fundamental aim that gives clarity, meaning, and richness. Then life starts to feel hollow, more about getting through than getting to.

Anger can be an emotional roller coaster that stresses the body and can create bad feelings for hours. And no other emotion has such an impact on relationships. When Mom or Dad gets mad, that’s scary and often overwhelming for kids since their parents are so big, powerful, and important. In an intimate relationship, frequent anger is very wounding; after a while, anyone would start wanting to step back from a person who’s mad a lot of the time.

Sometimes things are difficult. Your legs are tired and you still have to stay on your feet another hour at work. You love a child who’s finding her independence through emotional distance from you. A long-term relationship could be losing its spark. It’s finals week in college. You’re trying to start a business and it’s struggling. You’ve got a chronic health problem or a disability. Sometimes people don’t appreciate your work. You’re being discriminated against or otherwise treated unjustly. The body ages, sags, and grows weary.

Lately, I’ve been wondering what would be on my personal list of top five practices (all tied for first place). You might ask yourself the same question, knowing that you can cluster related practices under a single umbrella, your list may differ from mine, and your practices may change over time.

The Practice: Try a softer tone. Why? When our kids were little, I’d come home from work wanting some peace after the daily roller-coaster and often walk into a living…

Find out what they really want. Sort through the surface clutter to the real priority for the other person. What could be the softer, deeper, younger longing

At the end of an interaction, you may not get the result you want from the other person – but you can get the result of self-respect and feeling that you did the best you could.

Most of us have a diet that is very different from the one that we are adapted to through millions of years of evolution – a diet of mainly vegetables, fruits, nuts, and meat. Humans first started eating whole grains and dairy foods like cheese only ten thousand years ago or so – a blip on the evolutionary time scale.

Our baby just had her first birthday, and my husband and I are getting along OK, but the problem is he’s really frustrated that we almost never make love because I usually feel too tired and “touched-out” when we finally get to bed.

You are the way you are because that’s the way you are… simple. Now apply it outward and free yourself from judgement!

Want to strengthen your brain and live more peacefully? Ask ‘where have I been mainly resting my mind?’ – happiness and peace or self-criticism and worry?

There are 4 pillars of peace: Ease, Tranquillity, Awareness, and Unchanging… learn what they are and how to experience them here…

You criticize yourself, your friends, and the world around you; the people around you do the same. Learn how to best handle this fact of life here…

When was the last time you went to “war” (referred to here as an attitude of conflict and animosity)? How did you feel after? Find better tools here…

Long to-do list making your frazzled? Rick Hanson provides steps to help you drop the load and life free! Read here…

Accepting your dependence brings you into harmony with the way life is… how to do this? Read on…