People in positions of authority often talk about how much their life changed when they started saying “No.” And as easy as it seems, those two letters are often the scariest ones to utter to those closest to us in our lives. Our friends. Family members. Business partners. Coworkers.
So how do stop this cycle? How do you break the old habits, create new healthy ones and live financially abundant life? These three tips are a good place to start:
There’s a myth out there that success is singularly defined. And that once you achieve it, the pressure is off. In actuality, the pressure is higher than ever. You have to continuously perform at a high level. And you will come to points throughout your journey where the setbacks outnumber the accomplishments. You will be discouraged. Tired. Overwhelmed. And you will struggle to the point of questioning if it’s all truly worth it.
For those of you afraid to take that jump, I understand. It’s one thing to put yourself in a position to pursue the things you’ve always wanted. It’s a totally different situation to actually change your life. Why? Because funneling away a few hundred dollars a month doesn’t drastically change your life. Neither does going to a few networking events a month or even an extended vacation to test out our idea.
Everyone wants to be different. Unique. We all want to believe that there is something about us that makes us stand out from others. And though we are all very similar in many ways, we are also individuals. Sure we all want to be successful and happy, but our definition of what success and happiness is varies from person to person. We want the same things, but we want different things.
Ever felt victimized by life’s tough breaks? I know I have. Seeing the successes other people are racking up while you continue to struggle with things that, theoretically, should be…
Why is it that when we are counseling a friend through a breakup or a younger coworker through their first bad review, we immediately offer sound and sympathetic advice but when it comes to our own struggles….you see where I’m going with this. It’s time to be as compassionate with yourself as you would be with your best friend. Stop criticizing YOU and start showing yourself as much love as you give to others.
This week, determine the spots in your life that could benefit from a new beginning or a reconfiguration. Break those areas of your life down into steps you can take and find a way to devote some time every day to work towards those goals. Remember that things won’t change overnight, but you will and you can.
With all this energy expended on everyone else for 11 months out of the year – not to mention the remaining month when 100 percent of our beings go to giving – when do we ever take a moment to do things for yourselves?
Each time we set out to achieve a new goal or realize our dreams, we’re met with disappointment at various points on our path. Just because things don’t always go as planned doesn’t mean you should abandon your hopes of ever being sucessful. Learning how to deal with disappointment along the way is just as important as the accomplishments you seek.
You have ideas. You have goals. You have dreams. You may not be sure what they are. You may have an idea but be afraid to pursue it. You may even have written down a plan, talked to people about it and decided to do it. But something stopped you and you have decided to put it on the backburner to do the things that you feel you are more suited for – like being the caregiver, parent, friend and worker. Though all of these jobs are important, you still know that there is more to your life than what you are doing right now.
We’re all been there. Your boss complimented you on a job well done, but your best friend got a promotion with a raise. You’ve hit the gym daily and feel great, but your sister dropped two dress sizes. There are so many scenarios I can list here, but the bottom line is that we all occasionally have moments when – no matter how good we think we’re doing – someone else is seemingly doing better. And it can rob us of positivity, kill our motivation and wreak havoc on our self esteem.
There’s a lot to be said about a person who listens to, adheres by and acts according to their gut. For a lot of us, that gut feeling isn’t enough to make a decision. We need facts. Research. The probability of something bad happening. So we exercise restraint when it comes to our most valued decision‐making assets: our intuition.
When was the last time you made a choice that resulted in something negative? Maybe you took a job opportunity that you thought would pan out differently ‐ even though you had a feeling that it may not be a good idea.
As women, we are the masters of ignoring our gut and instead going with our heads. And as a business owner with a financial practice, I understand that there is a time and a place for using your head over your heart when it comes to help with money. I practice conscious spending for myself and I teach that to my clients. But I also stress the importance of aligning your spending with what’s in your heartspace.
Let’s say that you got a 10 percent raise at work and you’re not sure exactly what to do with it yet. If you’re going with your head, you probably will save all of your raise in an investment account or add it to help with debt you want to pay off. If you’re going with your heart, you take the entire thing and devote it to your passion: a new business, a hobby, your kids or your family, your ailing parents, or your favorite pair of shoes.
Both of these options are great because you are doing things with your money that are adding value to your life. But what if I told you there was a way to combine both of those things ‐ your heart and your head ‐ that will be aligned with your intuition?
Consider dividing that raise into three parts: your past, your present and your future. That way, you can get out of debt while saving for the future and still living in the present. So what does all of this have to do with listening to your gut? Well, it’s simple. This is a way to examine what’s happening in both your heart and your head, combining them, and pursuing what is best for your emotional and practical sides.
Action step
In my practice, I’ve noticed that many of us are not only disconnected with our money but also ourselves. Our desires. Our dreams. Our truths. It’s time to reconnect with what’s most important. Spend time this week alone, in silence and with yourself. Turn off the television. Leave your iProducts in the other room. And just sit with yourself. Listen to what your body, your spirit and your mind is telling you that it craves. Write down the things that resonate with you, anger you, hurt you, make you cry.
This is an exercise is getting to know that gut feeling that many of us have suppressed or belittle for so long. Get back in touch with trusting your first thought and feeling your first feeling when you’re in unusual situations. And finally, when you are totally at one with what you really think and feel, celebrate it. Today’s world numbs us to what we truly desire by bombarding us with things we are supposed to want. After you’re finished with this exercise, you’ll take solace in knowing that you are being true to your gut and ‐ as a result ‐ to yourself.
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