As a working Psychic Medium, Writer and Life Coach you may expect that I am aware of how other people feel about their lives, in fact often I’m more aware of what’s going on with them than they are and it won’t surprise you to know that, to one degree or another, many people are living a life that doesn’t suit them. The problem is that although people are often prepared to openly acknowledge their dissatisfaction, they don’t do anything about it.
You may be thinking ‘easier said than done’, and that’s true, but you could also say that the doing might be difficult but the effect on your life of not doing could be: boring; dispiriting; depressing; maddening; annoying; dull; poverty-inducing; unfulfilling? Feel free to add your own words.
I would argue that change isn’t as hard as you might think. It might take work and effort, and involve compromise, all possible. Yet people always give me good reasons why they can’t change their lives and those reasons make perfect sense, but they can never give me one good reason why they are so unwilling to make the positive changes they need to make in order to live a happier and more fulfilled life. Do you know why? Because very few people know what would make them happy.
We constantly hear talk about creating your own reality but how many people believe that? How many really believe that reality always sucks and once you’ve chosen your path you’re stuck on it? Look deep into your own heart and ask yourself “do I really believe that I can create my own reality?”
Do you know who said “Your life is what your thoughts make it”? Marcus Aurelius, 1st Century AD, he was a Centurion in the Roman army who rose to the rank of Emperor. As far back as 1AD people knew that, and yet 2,000 years later we still haven’t got it! Doesn’t that make you shudder? It should.
Ask yourself if anyone ever said to you whilst you were at school that you could be anything you wanted to be if you were prepared to work at it. Ask yourself if anyone ever told you not to limit yourself, to dream and believe. Or did they tell you all that and forget to mention that you had to make it happen?
You’ve probably been hearing and reading about thinking your way to a happier life for the past few years, you can’t have failed to see all the books about cosmic ordering in the book shops, or note the plethora of positive thinking websites and social networking pages. You might even have read all those wise words and said “wow” many times over, but how much better do you feel? Have you really grasped the idea that you have to be prepared to do something different? You know that if “you do what you’ve always done you’ll get what you’ve always got” but how many of you are still doing it and still getting it?
Ok, so that’s the negative side of things let’s switch this around and look at the positive steps you can take to change it, if you will.
Firstly sit down and work out what you want from your life. If you don’t know that answer then step one is to find out. Go out there, meet new people, look up college and university courses, take up new hobbies. Anything and everything to bring new people into your life who might be able to inspire you or suggest ways that you can find out who you are and what you want. Ring in the new and keep ringing that bell until you find a place to start.
So once you have a broad description in your mind of the life you want, work out your first step. That’s probably to change your thinking from “it can’t be done” to “I can do it”. The step after that has to be how to take that next step. You’re probably thinking that it’s ok for me to be sitting here writing this, but you don’t have the time, money, opportunity or all of those things to put your life right. If that’s what you want to believe then fine, stop reading now, I’m perfectly happy carrying on trying to inspire people, that’s my path at the moment and I love it.
Don’t feel daunted if you don’t immediately know exactly how you want your life to be, exactly how to start changing it and where the heck you’re going to get the money. Life is a journey and each step you take is at least forward momentum. If you choose to create a happier journey then every step you take will make you that little bit happier, and will also bring new people and opportunities into your life that you can make use of in order to take another step. Since the day I started this path I’ve been that tiny bit happier every day than I used to be, in fact I don’t recognise the old me.
I’m not going to give you any more steps, because once you know who you are and what you want, and you’ve changed your mindset from can’t to will, you won’t need anyone to tell you what to do next, you’ll work it out for yourself and the respect will be entirely yours.
What I will tell you is this. The person writing this was taken out of school at 15 and put into a dead-end job by her parents. She didn’t get one O’Level, she had no qualifications whatsoever, and she got stuck in the dullest most unpleasant low paid job from 1973 to 1987. She was in an impossibly unhappy relationship from 1974 to 1991, living in a house she was expected to contribute to financially but never allowed to own. She had no savings and no prospects. She was anxious and depressed, desperate for a different life, scared witless and unable to cope. She couldn’t see a path out of the darkness, had no employment prospects that would help her, no friends who knew what to do, and she used all her time and energy complaining to anyone that would listen because she thought that was ‘doing something about it’. She was far too gentle for her own good, financially trapped, and frankly a bit of a wimp.
However, she knew someone who was a hypnotherapist and deeply Spiritual man, he helped her to sort her head out and accept her truth, and because she helped him for nothing when he was training he helped her for nothing when she needed help. No expense. Even though she had no job prospects she went for interview after interview until she found someone who valued her attitude over her lack of education, qualification and training. Gradually she built up a career as a PA, not a highly paid career but certainly good enough to escape the life she was living. All that took 6 years.
It didn’t cost her any money to build up that career, just sheer application, hard work and the determination to live a happier life.
When she did escape that life her entire family turned their backs on her, as did most of her friends. The very people who had called her a fool for being with her ex then blamed her for leaving him. She lost almost everything and everyone because she did as they had told her to do – but not because they told her I will add. She was also made redundant just as she was buying herself a flat and she landed up with nowhere to go and no job.
Fortunately she’d met her second (and current) husband. It cost her £8.00 to get into a nightclub to meet him, the petrol to get there, and a glass of sparkling water. All very affordable. Once they got together and he was kind enough to offer her a home because she was effectively homeless, she was able to really start studying Spiritual thinking and allow it to change not just her life but the person she was. She used that thinking to become the person she wanted to be – me.
So…I’ll switch to the ‘I’ now because this is the point when I started to feel like me for the first time in my life.
Tony took in me and my cats (the only things I really cared about from the marriage), and I continued to work in the career I hated because it bought in the money I needed. After a few years I realised that this wasn’t enough and Tony and I sat down and talked things through his conclusion was that although we weren’t financially strong we could afford for me to do anything I wanted with my life.
You might think that was a marvellous offer, but actually it was terrifying because I didn’t know who I was and what I wanted to do. However, a friend gave me some very good advice, she said “you might try six things before you know who you are, just start trying”. I would add to that “be prepared to let go of what isn’t working and don’t give up.”
Over the next six years I got two degrees and a black belt – two lifelong dreams under my belt if you’ll pardon the pun. One degree was free, one cost a fortune. Yet still things weren’t working. The Government announced that it might take History off the school curriculum and the bottom fell out of History lecturing. I then studied for a computing degree, only to find that I would have to move home to get a job – and I wasn’t the main wage earner and he couldn’t move! Frustrated? You bet! The black belt did allow me to mentally kick the proverbial out of the rotten luck though LOL.
I finally found a job working with my husband – yes I know not a good idea – and all was going well when 09/11 hit and the company lost too many orders for them to keep going, so we both lost our jobs on the same day. Guess what career I landed up in? You got it, the same one that I studied for two degrees to escape from – Admin! Boy was I grateful for that job.
I noodled on for a few years until I realised that the thing I loved the most, the thing that calls to my heart, floats my boat, puts a smile on my face, and makes me wake up singing in the morning wasn’t either of the degree subjects, it wasn’t even my writing, it was quite simply the Mediumship. So I did a lot of training and launched myself as a Psychic Medium and Inspirational Speaker (the training for that came from the History Degree by the way). You might think the story ends there but it doesn’t.
From the work that floats my boat I have travelled further in life than I ever thought possible, because even my great love is only part of the journey. Yes I still suffer from anxiety sometimes, yes things still frighten me, but these are just my human weaknesses that need strengthening as part of this journey.
As you can see I have had a lot of luck, but I think I’ve had that luck because I was prepared to make the changes I needed to make, and prepared to take full responsibility for my life. In my experience the Universe can only help those who give it the opportunity to do so by helping themselves.
Even though I didn’t know where I was going at the beginning of the journey I have always been guided and I have found my way – because I will. I will act. Even though so many things seemed to be let downs, such as the History degree that didn’t lead to lecturing but did teach me how to prepare and present a talk; the computing degree that taught me that I could take a subject I didn’t know I hated and yet make a success of it. The martial art that became soured by the actions of others yet led to me blowing my own mind that I, who had never done a days exercise in her life, could actually be presented with a black belt.
All these things gave me the skills and confidence to stand up on a stage on my own and wait to see if the Spirit World would like to pass a message to their friends and loved ones, and still to be able to entertain an audience if for some reason I can’t get the messages through to my own satisfaction (think high standards and then double the standards you first thought of and you won’t come close!). The courage to find out whether magazines would like my writing – and 9 out of 10 times that answer has been ‘yes’. The courage to be me.
They’ve taught me that I can achieve things I never dreamed of. Sometimes I haven’t had the money but I/we’ve just worked, saved and waited and the anticipation has enhanced my life. “One day I would love to do this” became “I’m working towards this” and finally “I’ve done it!”