Children take on a lot of feelings – much more than we adults are aware of. They absorb like a sponge – and their surroundings are vital for how their life quality is.
Usually children react in 3 different ways when dealing with emotions and anger:
1)
They absorb the anger and suppress it – an automatic response to a painful situation – a survival mechanism. This leads to a life without really LIVING – living as obedient and robotic adults, experts of adapting to society`s or other people`s needs. They have become who others wanted them to be – and lost themselves – WHO THEY CAME TO BE.
2)
They act out the anger – projecting it on others and being angry with everyone and everything. The expression of anger is also an automatic reaction – another survival mechanism, to put a lid on other feelings underneath – painful and suppressed feelings which are triggering the anger later in life. This anger is never released and can be dangerous in certain situations – and difficult to control. They often do the opposite of being conformists – they create a life with constant conflicts, unable to resolve and heal the hurtful feelings beneath the anger.
3)
The children who learn to transcend their anger. They do not suppress it or act it out – they learn to master their bodies and emotions. They create an aura of confidence and power – they live a truthful and authentic life and see everything with LOVE and understanding.
In this way they create a life of balance and harmony – where they can express themselves for who they are and why they are here.
It is possible to teach children this. The best way is that the parents demonstrate it in their own lives – since children naturally copy their mentors in life.
We,the parents, are the childrens mentors. And the children copy what we do – not what we say.
A few weeks ago we received the book ” Angry Octopus – A relaxation story ” by our friend Lori Lite in the mailbox.
Leopold Light, 4 1/2, was so thrilled by this beautiful book – and we used the evenings to read about the insulted octopus who learned to control his anger by relaxation techniques and breathing.
The book is wonderfully illustrated , and we can see how the dark anger transforms to something light and beautiful – in such a way that every challenge becomes an observation and experience – and the octopus learns to become the master of his body and feelings.
Even though this is not a new theme for our son, he has talked a lot about the transformation the octopus went through.
Today he went up to his room and sat quietly on the bed.
After 30 minutes we went up to him and asked him how he was feeling.
He told us that he had been upset for something – and that he was feeling good now.
” It is easy – I am the Light ” he said and smiled warmly.
Leopold Light loves to transcend – he loves to find a quiet place and contemplate things he has experienced.
This is natural for children – if we let them.
” With all the demands of busy young lives that children face today, how nice that an octopus and a friendly sea child can model appropriate anger management in a fun,easy, and peaceful method ”
– Lynne Goldman Johannesen, Elementary School Teacher.
We warmly recommend this book for every child and parent, and for schools and teachers. This book will help many.
Thank you, Lori Lite – for sending us this beautiful and heartfelt story with solutions for healing and transcendence – and tools to reclaim our power and take control of our own body and mind.
If you are interested in this book – feel free to click the link below.
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Always with Love
Pearl Shanti and Andiran
4 comments
♥♥♥
CHILDREN ARE SO MUCH EASIER TO CONTACT THAN ADULTS THEY STILL HAVE A MUCH CLOSER ACCESS TO THEIR HEART… AS THE CHILD GROWS INTO A FULLY GROWN ADULT AND THROUGHOUT THAT PERSONS LIFE, THE REASONING LOGICAL MIND HAS STEPPED IN TO PUSH ALL… THAT PAIN DOWN REALLY, REALLY DEEP FOR SO CALLED PROTECTION… BUT A CHILD IS STILL FORMULATING IT’S BOTTOM LINE AGENDA FOR IT’S LIFE !!!
“PURE UNCONDITIONAL LOVING EMBRACE
AND ACCEPTANCE…”
TEACHES THEM TO LOVE AND TRUST LOVE AGAIN… IT IS REALLY SIMPLE TO SEE WHAT THE UNDERLINED REAL FEELINGS ARE, THAT ARE GOING ON INSIDE THE CHILD AND ADULTS ALIKE! BEHIND THE OUTER DISPLAY OF BEHAVIOR! THIS IS THEIR NEED FOR LOVE TO BREAK THEIR SPELL….. WHEN WE GO INTO OUR HEARTS, WE CAN SEE VERY CLEARLY AND FEEL ANOTHER’S PAIN WITHOUT MAKING IT OUR OWN… THEREFORE NOT PERPETUATING THE PROBLEM EVEN DEEPER AND FURTHER… WE ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE……
AND WE SEE THE ONLY CHOICE THAT MUST BE MADE ALWAYS……
WHEN WE SOFTEN AND OPEN OUR HEARTS TO THIS CHILD! THEN WE HAVE OPENED TO OURSELVES! THEN WE TEACH THEM TO…
(((((( SHINE ))))) ♥♥♥
Thank you Pearl and Andiran for sharing this lovely Heartfelt Story of Leoplold Light’s experience and sharing his Joy with us all and This Beautiful book… Thank you Lori Lite for writing this Wonderful Book
“Stress Free Kids” !!!
Deb Joy! :-))))) xoxoxo
This was great for me to read, my family is going through a pretty stressful time right now and I am being challenged to practice transcending my anger and fear more now than I have in quite some time. My step-daughter acts out her anger and fear in disrespectful ways, which I have learned to not take personally in order to try to help her own her emotions and live from her heart. I have tried to teach her some techniques before but she seems to find it hard to let in advice from me sometimes, I plan to get the octopus book as soon as I can!
I would rather have her call me ‘stupid dummy’ than her be silent about her emotions and her wants and needs, but I really want for her to be able to own her emotions and function in the world more constructively.
Thank u once again Pearl and Andrian for such an important Post.
I love this post bcoz this is one of the most common among all children.
Children learn to express anger in a number of ways from observing their parents express anger. So, to modify this behavior in children we will need to modify our behavior in the first place. Try and avoid expressing anger around our children as much as possible. In fact, if we can present ourself as being calm in tensed situations, the child will benefit a lot from it and behave accordingly, keeping in mind our behavior.
Thank u so much for your techniques ……..to calm down when they start getting angry… Take them away from whatever or whoever is making them angry and teach them a few easy relaxation and deep breathing techniques.
U R TRULY A BLESSING FOR ALL OF US!!
LOVE ,LIGHT AND BLESSINGS
<3<3<3
Such an important post and very common in among all children.
The first and most important anger management technique for children is anger management by the parents. Children learn to express anger in a number of ways from observing their parents express anger. So, to modify this behavior in children we will need to modify our behavior in the first place. we should avoid expressing anger around our children as much as possible. In fact, if we can present yourself as being calm in tensed situations, the child will benefit a lot from it and behave accordingly.
Thank u once again wonderful couple for this post.
LOVE ,LIGHT AND BLESSINGS!!!