The Practice of Trusting Yourself and Your Desires:
This kind of goes hand-in-hand with self-inquiry. It’s the answers that come when we sit and listen. And then the courage to trust what comes up. I know. It can be challenging to sort out what’s yours and what’s not, especially when you’ve been running on conditioned auto-pilot for your entire life.
It can be scary because when what’s coming up for you is incongruent with your current reality it may require an entire life shift. So many people in my life over the past few years have come to this realization, and when they do, the resistance kicks up hard. It begins a sometimes overwhelming rush of self-evaluation.
Who am I really?
Am I this house, this car, this job, this marriage?
And if we’ve never stopped long enough to ask such simple questions, the shit can get real and quick, often hitting all our triggers at once, forcing us to pay attention and then act accordingly.
But it’s challenging when our whole lives have been dictated by the lust of gaining our self-worth from conditioned values and desires versus our own, and it seems from my experience that upon this type of awakening old systems and relations fall apart to make way for what’s real.
And during that process we may have the involuntary reaction to dig our nails into the pavement and try to hold onto our past for dear life, for fear of the unknown. However, from my own personal experience and that of my dear friends, you need to ‘let go or be dragged’ (a Zen proverb). If you don’t have the courage to listen to your own voice and desires, you will end up in a life that, like an outfit, never quite feels like it fits. And the longer you sit in that uncomfortable space the more uncomfortable it gets.
So the best thing you can do for yourself is to listen to yourself, and take baby steps towards the whispers of your deepest desires. I say baby steps solely because first, that’s what works for me, and second, remember that you didn’t get into a disconnected life overnight, so you won’t get out of it that way either.
Excerpt from Your Vivid Life, An Invitation to Live a Radically Authentic Life