Many centuries ago, the poet Bunan wrote:
Die while alive, And be absolutely dead. Then do whatever you want; It’s all good.
Bunan is not talking about a physical death, or causing any harm to the body. He is talking about a willingness to let go constantly of the definitions you have placed upon yourself, so that you can become more of a mystery than a person, both to yourself and to everybody else.
The most mature answer I know to the question “Who are you?” is “I don’t know.” In our particular school, when coaches train to be certified, we ask them to give and receive Radical Releasing every day for ninety consecutive days.
During their training the coaches keep digging deeper into more and more layers of resisted and forgotten points of view. This willingness to let go constantly of who you thought you were, and to relax into being an undefined mystery, allows you to show up, not as a wave called Joe Blow with his stories and limitations, but as the whole ocean, as all of humanity.
It is this rigorous discipline of letting go of false layers of identity that allows you to have genuine, rather than fabricated, compassion for your coaching clients.
This is an excerpt from Arjuna’s new book, Better than Sex: The Ecstatic Art of Awakening Coaching