When a man is run by masculine energy without any conscious presence brought to it, without any element of awakening, he is going to be run by the more unconscious aspects of the masculine. These are the qualities that are generally least attractive to the feminine.
Some examples would be destructive competitiveness, being over-analytical and controlling, using force to get what he wants, setting goals in a way that is rigid and unyielding to reality, and being aggressive or violent.
A man can also run masculine energy through his body with some choice and creative gifting. The qualities of the conscious masculine are, generally, what women most love about men. Conscious masculine energy is present, centered, focused on a goal, but in a way that is aware of reality and able to respond and flow. Conscious masculine energy is able to fully feel, but the sense of being present and grounded is always a little stronger than the feeling.
Conscious masculine energy shows up fully in each situation, but always with a tinge of humor, because the man has a sense of life being something like a game, in which he participates fully, but without ever getting completely lost. Conscious masculine energy is able to take action, to be decisive, but all the time with the sense of a bigger context in which the game is appearing.
Equally, we could talk about the unconscious and conscious feminine. The unconscious feminine is emotionally dramatic, can be blaming and catty, or addicted to and getting lost in sensory experience. She can be complaining, nagging, and critical.
The conscious feminine, on the other hand, has a body that is open, a heart full of love; and that love is unconditionally forgiving and embracing. She knows how to create harmony and to bring out the best in people and in situations, because of her natural tendency to love and accept.
The conscious feminine knows how to feel deeply in any situation, but without getting lost in a story of “why” and “because” and “who did what to whom.” She can feel for no reason.
I am fully aware that making these kinds of distinctions between masculine and feminine energy, and their unconscious and conscious expressions, can be deeply offensive to some people, particularly to women who have fought so hard to avoid gender stereotyping. This can seem like a step backwards.
The reason we are doing this here is not to enforce gender stereotypes, but to recognize that people become happy when they relax into their natural character. An Awakening Coach needs to be sensitive that they are not imposing gender stereotypes on a client, but simply skillfully feeling into the natural balance of masculine and feminine energy, and allowing that to express itself.
When we use Embodiment Practices in this way, we are really achieving two ends. One is to restore the balance of masculine and feminine energy that is natural for that person. The other is to move from the unconscious to the conscious expression of each energetic type. Obviously, this is a huge topic, and one that can be easily misunderstood. This is the briefest skimming across the top of it.
This is an excerpt from Arjuna’s new book, Better than Sex: The Ecstatic Art of Awakening Coaching