1. Decide that whatever is stuck in your life will never change.
It is not going anywhere. Surrender to it. Accept it. See it. Next, court it – how can you fall in love with this aspect of stuck? How can you open to it as your guide? This will not work if part of you is still hoping the stuck goes away. Be all in. Believe it is permanent with your whole body and that it’s your job to fall in love with it.
2. Take 100% responsibility.
Accept 100% full responsibility for whatever you believe got you stuck – without blame, being defensive or being a martyr. No self-blame or shame. Rather step into ownership even if you don’t know what you did to get stuck. Focus on owning it, with clear-eyed self-kindness.
3. Prove to someone you are stuck.
Find someone rigorous, loving and honest. Prove to this person you are stuck using facts. Stick with just the facts, no story, no explanations. He or she can keep asking for clarification of proof you are stuck. You respond with the facts.
4. Go into a room with nothing for 3 days.
Nothing to read, no Internet, and minimal food distractions. No chocolate (I know, I’m tough), nor intoxicants of any kind. Do not leave until your full 3 days is up. I dare you to remain stuck.
5. Fire everyone you currently pay to help you.
6. Go off the interwebs for one month.
Yes one month. During the time you would be on line, do something you enjoy that makes the world a better place.
7. Hire the best help available and put your entire attention on solving your stuck.
Find the best coach, teacher, hacker, mentor you can afford. Tell him or her everything else in your life is secondary to solving this stuck. You will stop at nothing. You will throw everything you have – sans going in debt or hurting someone – at dissolving your bind.
8. Keep an action journal in which you write down the actions you take everyday to get unstuck.
So if getting out of back pain is your stuck, note every single thing you do to get out of pain. Do this with a partner and review journals weekly. You must date your entries!
9. Write your story of stuck from 3 points of view.
First, in 2nd person (“you climbed the stairs”) only the you that is speaking is your stuckness – let your stuckness speak. Second, write from the POV of an omniscient narrator – the voice of God or the one who sees and knows all. Finally, from first person, from your very personal up close point of view. Let each story unfold in its own unique way. Each one may be very different. Read each out loud to another person.
10. Build an altar to your stuck and worship at every day for a month.
Do not abandon it even when you want to pour oil on it and light it on fire. Embellish as necessary. At the end of the month, call together your tribe, share what your worship taught you, and then do with the altar what feels good. (Note: it might not be to destroy it.)
11. Interview your stuck. Let it answer with your non-dominant hand.
Questions to ask:
• What is your name?
• Where did you come from?
• What gift do you have for?
• Why do you love me so much?
• How do you love me?
• What do you need?
• How can I help you get it?
12. Go on a treasure hunt for people in history who were stuck in the same way you are.How did they use this stuckness as a gift? How did their stuck passage shape their future? What did they do you want to be sure and not do? What did they do you might try – today?
Bonus Every day declare to yourself, “No matter what I do and no matter how things turn out, I’m okay. At my core is essential goodness and I will always return to rest there.”