I hope you had a wonderful break Beloveds. I was recently reminded of this excerpt from my book, “Yesterday, I Cried”, because sometimes we all have those days when we just want to sit down and weep. 
It’s cleansing and messy all at the same time! Whether your tree fell on your neighbor’s house, your car got smashed, you came down with the flu or were just plain sad, we always make it through the weeping feeling drained, yet peaceful. Things do get better Beloveds, especially if we can find the little things in life that we are grateful for and use them to focus our love for everything that shows up in our lives.
Yesterday, I Cried-
I came home, went straight to my room, sat on the edge of my bed, kicked off my shoes, unhooked my bra, and I had myself a good cry.
I’m telling you, I cried until my nose was running all over the silk blouse I got on sale. I cried until my ears were hot. I cried until my head was hurting so bad that I could hardly see the pile of soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet.
I want you to understand, I had myself a really good cry yesterday.
Yesterday, I cried, for all the days that I was too busy, or too tired, or too mad to cry.
I cried for all the days, and all the ways, and all the times I had dishonored, disrespected, and disconnected my Self from myself, only to have it reflected back to me in the ways others did to me the same things I had already done to myself.
I cried for all the things I had given, only to have them stolen; for all the things I had asked for that had yet to show up; for all the things I had accomplished, only to give them away, to people in circumstances, which left me feeling empty, and battered and plain old used.
I cried because there really does come a time when the only thing left for you to do is cry.
Yesterday, I cried. I cried because little boys get left by their daddies; and little girls get forgotten by their mommies; and daddies don’t know what to do, so they leave; and mommies get left, so they get mad.
I cried because I had a little boy, and because I was a little girl, and because I was a mommy who didn’t know what to do, and because I wanted my daddy to be there for me so badly until I ached.
Yesterday, I cried. I cried because I hurt. I cried because I was hurt. I cried because hurt has no place to go except deeper into the pain that caused it in the first place, and when it gets there, the hurt wakes you up.
I cried because it was too late. I cried because it was time.
I cried because my soul knew that I didn’t know that my soul knew everything I needed to know.
I cried a soulful cry yesterday, and it felt so good.
It felt so very, very bad.
In the midst of my crying, I felt my freedom coming, Because Yesterday, I cried with an agenda.
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About Iyanla Vanzant:
Iyanla Vanzant is the best-selling author of five books on self-empowerment, personal growth and spiritual healing, with the most recent book being Peace from Broken Pieces. As the founder and executive director of the Inner Visions Spiritual Life Maintenance Network, she conducts workshops, seminars and lectures nationally. Drawing from her own experiences of family dysfunction, abuse, and poverty, Iyanla encourages us all to look at ourselves, laugh at ourselves and then take the necessary steps to heal ourselves. Her practical message is based on the principles of universal law, self-determination and the power of Spirit. You can learn more about her work at www.innervisionsworldwide.com.
Iyanla has recently appeared several times during Oprah’s Lifeclass webcast segments. You can view the videos on Oprah’s Lifeclass Website She also recently appeared on Super Soul Sunday with Oprah, speaking about what she had to go through to get to where she is now. You can view these segments on the Super Soul Sunday website.
Iyanla has a new show on the Oprah Winfrey Network called “Iyanla, Fix My Life!”. To learn more about it and apply to be on Iyanla’s show and have her help you, please visit the OWN website and SHARE YOUR STORY.
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Written by Iyanla
Iyanla Vanzant, accomplished author, inspirational speaker, talk show host and living testament to the value in life’s valleys and the power of acting on faith, goes behind closed doors and deep inside people’s lives for emotional, riveting conversations in the new hit series- Iyanla: Fix My Life
Iyanla has had a unique life filled with many personal struggles, which she has overcome and used to become stronger. Now, she’s back, helping people fix their lives, using her past to help others’ futures. Secrets will be revealed, truths will be uncovered and emotions will come out as Iyanla teaches us how to pull back the curtain on what is broken in our lives.
Iyanla: Fix My Life is produced by Harpo Studios. Join the conversation on Twitter using #FixMyLife
11 comments
I can\’t remember the last time I cry. I get mad instead of cry. Not healthy.
Good evening Iyanla!
Curiously, like you this am I cried a lot today too, for no apparent reason, I just let myself be triggered by a sad commercial, a song on the radio, anything. I wanted to cry.
I needed a good cleansing. It felt suprisingly awesome after…
I just got your audio book – In the meantime. I started listening to you it today, that actually occured after the crying sessions.
I need to say I love you Iyanla, thank you for the motherly love (I miss my grandmom r.i.p ), that is how I received it this audiobook. I needed a good talking to. I was not sure which audio book to chose from your list in Itunes. This indicated to me – Man! Have I got some serious issues or what!? I could have chosen all of them, seriously!
So I decided to start with LOVE. It\’s not easy to find ways to heal that are right for yourself, or that really speak to your heart and soul. But your voice, your humour – well, it works for me.
I cried shamelessly, in my livingroom promising myself I will be \"up and up\" before I pick up my 10 year old son from school. Promise kept, the house is clean – dinner is ready, son is in the bath (he had hockey this pm ) ect. and tomorrow I am doing the exercises. Please note my language is French that is why you may notice \"interesting\" turn of phrases…(laughs! 🙂
I discovered your website only today. I am taking this opportunity that I have a lot of time to be a full-time mom and to work on myself and make some changes manifest in my life. Much needed change. It\’s time. I\’m tired.
Today I cried, not the ugly cry but I can\’t wait for that one, as it will mean maybe that I am more inside truth.
P.S. A couple of years ago I wanted to write a book about my mom. Only to realize I wanted to tell about my story…I found one my raquetting, raquettiring? – after pondering about what was my part in this mess, anyway, I watched your show last night…It hit home.
I wish you a beautiful evening, love and light.Thank you.
N
Oh yes!!! I’ve cried like this many times… It is cleansing and renewing!!! I’m still here and I am grateful to change my many tears into smiles!!!
thank God i can find someonethat also believes crying can relieve pains and emotions,bringing peace and refreshing.I just buried my father last month and i didnt cry as i should.all the emotions i just hide them and i really dont feel anything.and its weighin down on me and making me unhappy and unfriendly.i really need a good cry.and i hope its soon.
Seven years ago I wrote: When I read the last page of “Yesterday I Cried” and closed the book, I put my head down on the bar where I had been sitting and realized it was time for me to tell my own story of survival. After several days of writing and crying (which I had not done in years), I had purged a great deal of the crud I had shoved deep inside – 160 pages of purging!
It was my desire to write my testimony and realizing that I had already written a great deal of it is what prompted me to pull that piece of writing out to read. For some reason, I had it in my mind that it was just a bunch of bitching and feeling sorry for myself. I am pleasantly surprised that, while it is very raw and emotional, it is also very well written.
Thank you for this book, Iyanla Vanzant.
I am a school teacher and often uses pieces of this book to teach my class. I always give credit to Iyanla and my students are always mesmorized by the content. This poem always seems to make me stop and think and stop and breathe…thank you…thank you for writing something that no matter how many times I read it it still works.
Your crying empowered me because lately, I have been doing a lot of it. I feel alone. I need strong sisters to interact with and where are they? I am a woman of faith and have had to face many challenges. I wrote several books, but only sold one and now I am trying to re-focus and start back writing. Like you Iyanta, I have so many experiences to share and I believe that this is my next assignment in life is to write about it. I hope I can be a blessing to others as you have. I love you.
I cry a lot latley. My horse is not doing well and the vet does not know what is wrong. Just because you know its the right thing to do, does make it easier. I am very sad, it is hard to say goodbye.
You are a blessing, Ms Van Zant.
May God bless you for your service to others!
I’ve cried tears of joy, anger, rejection, betrayal, and loss. I have cried. For some reason I have always felt like society has viewed crying as weakness, but my tears have brought me from some very dark places. I am grateful for my tears and the new found strength and courage I have once my tears have dried.
I just watched you on Oprah, and you went into the audience to comfort a weeping young woman. You had her sit in your lap and she buried her head in your shoulder. I am so deeply moved that I can barely speak. Iyanla, I am going to be 58 years old in several weeks and I was not once held in my life by my mother or my father. No cuddling. No rocking. No soft caresses. No touch at all, that I can remember, except for slapping, hitting, pinching, pulling, shoving, and beatings. So much abuse, so much neglect. I was parentified and expected to give to and caretake everyone else. I think there might be something terribly wrong with me for I have cried several days a week for most of my life, since my early memories around the age of three. Why is that? It makes me feel as if I might be crazy. I have an unexplained sadness that is so deep within me. I remember feeling so sad when I was a little girl because I “knew.” Somehow I knew the abuse was soul-destroying, for all of us. I would cry myself to sleep most nights. Even as an adult, and when I went to college, I would silently cry in my bed as everyone else was sleeping. It seems that I cannot stop. Have you ever heard of such? I don’t feel any self-pity, just deep, deep sadness and loss….not just for myself but for my parents and siblings. So much severe, severe abuse, almost defying description. I think it really affected me terribly, especially since I have characteristics of an HSP. I am deeply affected whenever I see someone being abused or mistreated. I think I need some help. I must say that watching you on Oprah brought up such yearning within me……for a mother’s touch, a mother’s hug, a mother’s grace, a mother’s love. Some of us never received any of that. The pain is almost unbearable even these many years later. I do not know how to explain it, really, but it is as though my heart was broken in two when I was very young and the continued chronic abuse just exacerbated the pain, so that I never had a chance to heal. But I am still here, and I have survived. And I have done my very best to love others, and to give to my own children what I myself never received. I am sure that I failed many times. But my children do know that I love them. Funny, but if I am being honest, I don’t think I remember feeling loved a day in my life. Isn’t that odd? Thank you for being you, Iyanla. I am just amazed that there are people like you in this world.