Beloveds, my schedule has been so hectic with filming and travel, but I wanted to make sure you still had a Monday Matters. Please enjoy this transcript taken from the Audio CD found with my book, Tapping the Power Within – A Path of Self-Empowerment for Women. Have a wonderful week. Love, Iyanla
There’s a sweet, sweet spirit in this place whenever lives come together; whenever hearts and minds come together, there’s a sweetness. And whether we call that sweetness Peace or Bliss, Joy or Nirvana; it’s about the Blessedness of Life. One writer said it like this:
“The Light of God surrounds me,
the Love of God enfolds me,
the Power of God protects me,
the Presence of God watches over me.
Right where I am, God is.
And so it is”
I want to tell you about me when I was a little girl. I had an older brother and whenever anything happened, I got blamed! I can’t imagine why! So I eventually I got hip to his game. But because I had such a big, loving heart, I would never say, “He did it!”, I would say, “I don’t know!”
“I don’t know who broke that vase…” Now there’s nobody in the house but me and him and he don’t know and I don’t know.
But what that reminds me of is that we learn very, very early to go into denial. At a very young age we learn that we can’t acknowledge all that we know because if we do, we’ll either get blamed or we’ll be forced to take responsibility. And instead of that, we go into denial.
And if denial doesn’t work, then most of us go into Confusion. We get confused about what we are denying. And that works sometimes, but as adults it gets a little difficult.
I went into confusion and denial as an adult, particularly as it related to my marriage. I won’t tell you which one, but I will say that I was in denial. I knew just as sure as I knew my name that I should not be marrying the one I was marrying. But I was in denial and then I got confused!
“How can I cancel the florist? The wedding planner? The caterer? I can’t.. I can’t do all of that!”
So that denial and confusion led me to the very place that I didn’t want to be. You see, we go into denial and confusion very often because we want to avoid pain and increase pleasure.
We want to avoid those things that we fear or those things that we think will cause us pain. So we go into denial about what the truth is! And then we get confused about why we don’t have what we want. Because ultimately if you deny yourself into a state of confusion, you will hurt yourself or get hurt by someone else.
So as an adult, this is what I learned, “Thou shalt not act like you doth not know!”
Now that’s like according to Iyanla, you don’t have to practice that! In fact, I have a more productive way for you to practice this and that is, ACT LIKE YOU KNOW THE TRUTH.
Act like you know the truth because the truth is, we REALLY do know the truth! We really do know the truth when we stay out of denial and confusion. The minute we think that we are going to be in pain or in fear, we will go into denial. But the commandment is, “Thou shalt not act like you doth not know!”
You better act like you know the truth, all the time. Because the truth is what the writer said, the Light of God surrounds us!
Something bigger, something greater, something grander than ourselves is always around us. When I think about what could have happened in that marriage, I say, “Oh the light was there! The light was there!”
When you think about some of the things that you have put yourself into that the light guided you out of… of the light IS there. And you do know that.. when you’re not in denial or wearing blinders.
The truth is that the Love of God and Good enfolds us!
When it’s all said and done and when we’re not looking in a mirror, we really are loving aren’t we? We really are good, loving people. All of us have a little ugly in us but for the most part, we really are love.
And we want to live from that place, but we spend too much time avoiding pain and trying to increase pleasure.
The truth that the writer said, that there’s a Power that protects us!
At least it protects me, because I’m sure that this isn’t true about you… but I’m human! And on any given day, I am prone to lose my naturally good mind! I never know what is going to prompt it!
It could be traffic on the Beltway. It could be missing my favorite cereal in the cereal aisle. It could be an old, episode of Law and Order, that I’ve already seen five times and I’m still outraged by the verdict! But there is a Power within us, a Loving Power.
So we want to learn how to move through life, acting like we know the truth, because we do. When we’re not in denial and when we’re not in confusion.
Iyanla Vanzant is the best-selling author of five books on self-empowerment, personal growth and spiritual healing, with the most recent book being Peace from Broken Pieces. As the founder and executive director of the Inner Visions Spiritual Life Maintenance Network, she conducts workshops, seminars and lectures nationally. Drawing from her own experiences of family dysfunction, abuse, and poverty, Iyanla encourages us all to look at ourselves, laugh at ourselves and then take the necessary steps to heal ourselves. Her practical message is based on the principles of universal law, self-determination and the power of Spirit. You can learn more about her work at www.innervisionsworldwide.com.
Iyanla has recently appeared several times during Oprah’s Lifeclass webcast segments. You can view the videos on Oprah’s Lifeclass Website She also recently appeared on Super Soul Sunday with Oprah, speaking about what she had to go through to get to where she is now. You can view these segments on the Super Soul Sunday website.
Iyanla has a new show on the Oprah Winfrey Network called “Iyanla, Fix My Life!”. To learn more about it and apply to be on Iyanla’s show and have her help you, please visit the OWN website and SHARE YOUR STORY.