Part 1- Heart opening experiences in Greece lead to illumination of my life purpose.
I was recently touched by something Iyanla Vanzant and Oprah Winfrey had talked about on Oprah’s Lifeclass Webcast. They were talking to a woman who had been working on her spiritual practices to further awaken herself and felt that her husband was not keeping up with her on her path. I immediately felt a connection to this because I had been in the same place as her not long ago. I loved what Iyanla and Oprah had said to her which was to first, keep doing the work and then the answer to whether she should stay with her husband would become obvious.
This is also true to my experience. I had been doing “the work” and advancing my spirituality to a place where I not only valued everyone that I came into contact with, but I began to value myself. I have had huge shifts in my thinking patterns, response patterns, in every pattern really and I felt that I had a very good handle on “how things worked”.
So imagine my surprise when one day, I’m having a reading with the well-known psychic, Lisa Williams and she says to me that I am going to be illuminated soon to my “life-purpose”. I wasn’t so sure about this because I felt pretty strongly that I was living true to my life purpose and couldn’t see what on earth could happen to change this.
Lisa had said that while I was in Greece, I would find a past life connection as well as feel drawn to an elevated location where I should sit down and meditate. I accepted her words and tucked them away and kept them in mind as I went on this trip with a group of people I know from all over the world. The team in Greece had graciously planned a lovely time with us to tour the Country as well as to work together to further our goals so it was a working trip as well as a vacation.
This was the first time I had gone so far away from my family. My husband and twin daughters were being very brave to let me go and despite some personal issues I had been facing with my husband, I was not really wanting to go away from him.
I quickly learned that I had nothing to fear and I began to embrace my experience fully. I relaxed and opened up and found myself not thinking about my family at home so much but really thinking about myself and feeling happy. I began to make a realization. I was not happy at home. I had a great life, I was feeling fulfilled in my work life. I was enjoying motherhood and loved my children. I couldn’t believe that I was not really happy but here I was in Greece, really feeling what it felt like to be free and happy.
I connected with someone there also, and I’m not sure if this is the past life connection that Lisa mentioned to me would occur, but I do know for a fact that the feelings I felt when I met him were far more than any feelings I had before. I felt open and free to be who I was and I had no idea that I had been living my life previously in a contracted state.
This brought about many emotions, some of which were feelings of guilt. I wasn’t feeling guilty for having this connection with another person in my life other than my husband, but I was feeling guilty that I had been ignoring my own emotional state. I had fallen into a trap of believing that doing the spiritual work was enough to make me happy. I now felt that what I had been craving all this time was a deep spiritual connection to my husband. I desired to really connect with him on a soul level and the connection that I had currently with him was more of the kind you would have with a brother or friend.
I knew in that moment that things between my husband and myself really had to change and that the only person who could make this happen was me.
My last days in Delphi, Greece, were amazing as I had wonderful conversations with my new friend there and I started to really relax into the idea that I could connect to someone else and how wonderful this connection felt. The bus stopped us at Apollo’s Temple in Delphi and I found the space where I meditated and while I did I was touched in a profound way. I felt a new sense of power in my gut and somehow I really knew that my life was about to change.
I enjoyed long conversations with my new friend on the bus all the way back from Delphi to Athens and my last night there I felt so touched when he said to me that it felt to him as though we had known each other for years. I felt conflicted as I knew deeply that it was time to say goodbye to this wonderful moment in my life and go back home to face what I now saw as a glaring flaw in the way I was living.
I cried the whole 10 hours going home on the plane as I wrote in my journal and meditated on my situation. It was so obvious to me that I would rather die than to go back to living a life that was not true to my soul. I was petrified, really, to make this leap. I mean, here I was as a successful business owner, but I wasn’t making enough to support myself and my children. We relied on my husband’s wages to make ends meet.
The thing was, I knew deep down that I would be okay. I began to realize that this is the gift that I had been given in Greece during my meditation. The gift to feel the great presence around me. To know that I was being watched over, cared for and kept safe. I knew that I could make this leap and that I would be okay because I would be living what was truly in my heart. I felt that no matter what happened, even if he was bitter and fought me and gave me nothing… no matter what, I would know that all things were working out for my higher purpose. And I had finally reached a point that my soul’s evolution and purpose were more important to me than to anything else in my life.