Forgiveness can play an integral part in ushering these new changes that you can to create for yourself. It will allow you truly cut ties with any bonds from your past and focus on creating your future and living in the present.
There are many paths to forgiveness and they all lead to a more peaceful and balanced existence. There have been studies done at several Universities in the United States on the power of forgiveness and have suggested that it’s an important key to living a mentally and physically healthy life. People who are able to forgive feel less depression, less anger, less stress and more joy and compassion in their lives. Not only towards others but also towards themselves.
Forgiveness is not always automatically taught to everyone. Unless you come from a culture or background where forgiveness is expected or naturally accepted, you may not know how it’s done or what it’s purpose is. You may be weary of forgiving because you may hold some misconceptions about what it means to forgive.
Forgiveness does NOT mean that you have to reconcile with those who wronged you or tell the wrongdoer that you’ve forgiven them. It does NOT mean that the wrongdoer has to apologize to you, that you have to condone the behavior of the wrongdoer, or that you don’t seek justice for the wrongdoing. You do NOT have to speak to or see the wrongdoer again and it is your right and responsibility to seek justice through the proper channels.
Forgiveness means many things to many people. There are different ways to bring forgiveness into your own life. You may choose a process that’s based in religion, spirituality, science, or agnosticism. There is no right or wrong way to forgive. It’s only important that you do so and to practice it frequently. However you choose to go through the process, there are 3 definite benefits to forgiving.
1. It gives you back your power instead of letting the wrongdoer keep having power over you. When you can let go of the negative emotions associated with the wrongdoing and decide to focus on how it made you stronger and what you learned, you empower yourself.
2. You stop reliving and reacting to the wrongdoing over and over and you allow yourself to move forward with your life. Forgiveness allows you to put your energy into more productive and supportive emotions and behaviors.
3. Most importantly, you let go of your need to feel like a victim and you take responsibility for creating your own happiness and achievements. You no longer hold on to excuses that stop
you from working towards your goals. You focus on the possibilities and on getting the results you want.
Dr Fred Luskin said that “a life well lived is your best revenge.” It’s good to include forgiveness when focusing on the goals you’ve set for yourself, not only in the New Year but at all times throughout your life. Consider this – would you rather use that energy to calm, center, and balance yourself or to hold on to that grudge with all your might?
Take charge of your own life and forgive for YOUR benefit, not anyone else’s.
Written by Kasia Rachfall
Kasia Rachfall MNLP, CPC, BBA is an engaging speaker, author of Keys For Moms: Enough Is Enough! and wizard at guiding parents to the Happily Ever After of their Before. She is an expert in family mindset which means parents get more meaningful communication, better connection with the kids, and laugh more because life is good! She uses NLP, Hypnosis and Time Empowerment® for change.
When you want to know how to stop “should’ing” all over yourself as a parent, Kasia will send you complimentary articles every other week on building stronger connections and more meaningful communication with yourself and your family, and her complimentary audio on 5 Ways to Upgrade Your Family Mindset. You can sign up at http://www.freshperspectivefamily.com
