It’s 5:00am in the morning and I’m having problems sleeping due to there is just so much going on in the world. So many people are stressed, worried, confused, upset and just feeling things are getting worse. When I talk to people all these unresolved issues are coming up for them. In fact they are escalating to the point it is dragging them deeper.
My training has given me the opportunity to be able to take an outside perspective and really see what is going on for me, as well the people around me. Everyone I talk to knows there is something changing, things are not the same be it in the world or in just their lives. It could be career, finances, relationships, health issues, energy vampires, time vampires…etc. If you don’t know the term “vampire” think of someone sucking your energy or taking all your time. We all have come in contact with these types of people, some latch on and some you’re able to get away from.
As you can see and I think we are all in agreeance that things are changing. Change can only happen when we make room for it. Now if you have unresolved issues guess what, those are the first things that have to go. You have to make room for change and the unresolved issues are going to come to the surface. If you deal with it they are going to go away, but if you suppress it for a bit, it will come back even bigger. The more you suppress it the bigger it’s going to grow. If you let it get to big it will consume you and affect all areas of your life. Trust me on this, I coach people internationally and see it time and time again. In fact when I was going through my divorce that was my unresolved issue and it kept coming back stronger and stronger. Until I just Man’d up and dealt with it. It was one of the hardest most frustrating, tiring challenges I had to deal with. Guess what? It’s over and it hasn’t come back.
I am sure you’re asking ok if I have an unresolved issue how do I deal with it, here are some recommendations I would tell people.
First you have to see how big the challenge is, are we talking about cleaning the garage or are you going through a huge life changing divorce. Depending on the situation you will need more help. If you feel you can deal with the unresolved issue be respectful to it, don’t get upset and keep emotion out of resolving the issue. Emotions just complicate things and will cause more frustration, especially if you get upset/angry. Have a plan of action and do your best to stick to it. The plan might not go perfect but if you get 80% through the process you can always go back later and resolve that 20%.
Now if you find that it is taking too much time/energy and you’re losing the battle, call in reinforcements. This is when you ask for help. Now here’s a warning, the more personal the issue the more pride “Ego” you’re going to have tied up in it. Let your ego go, tell it to go sit in the corner and ask for help. Ask friends, family…etc and if the situation is to big call in the big guns, the Professionals. This way you resolve the issue without getting sucked in and dragged further into it. Remember the goal here is to get your unresolved issue resolved, not drag them on. Trust me when I was going through my divorce I didn’t do it alone. I had my lawyer, 2 really good friends with me through the whole ordeal and my family behind me helping me through the divorce. I called in everyone, trust me if I had to do it again. Which I never hope I do, I would even call in more people to help resolve the issue even faster.
Here are some guidelines I would recommend and just to recap what I said above.
1) Be kind and compassionate while going through the process of resolving your unresolved issue
2) Don’t let your emotions get involved, set out a plan and implement it
3) Tell your Ego to take a seat in the corner, you need to deal with this Unresolved issue and you need to call in reinforcements.
4) If you find it is dragging you down and you just can do it alone, CALL in THE PROFESSIONALS
Remember life is about growth and community, if you’re not able to grow because of an unresolved issue call in the community to help you.
Love & Chi,
Brandon Krieger HLC, ITIL, PPS
Social Technologies Coach, Twitter Doctor & Professional Speaker