You probably know what it takes to live a healthy life, right?  Eat plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, exercise regularly, take vitamins – maybe add in some fish oil for cardiovascular health.  Make sure you get enough protein, carbohydrates, and lean fats.  Fortunately for many, healthy eating and exercise have become more and more a way of life.  You know the list of do’s and don’ts to keep your body strong and fit.

What is less well known is how your thoughts influence your physical, emotional, and even spiritual health. Your mind is an extremely powerful instrument that can be either a friend or foe.  For most, left to its own devices, the mind is a foe, and can lead to pain, difficulty, and suffering.  With a little bit of effort and awareness, however, the mind can become a friend.  As a friend, your mind can be used as a powerful asset to help promote your health and well-being on all levels.

Understanding Your Mind – Friend or Foe

Is your mind your friend or your foe?  If you are like most, your mind bombards you with concerns, worry, anxiety, negative self-talk and a barrage of other nonsense.

Your mind may harass you about being good enough or healthy enough.  It might critique you for making “poor” decisions.  Are you being a good enough mother to your children?  Are you a loving enough partner?  Are you taking good enough care of your physical body?

And then let’s not forget gnawing concerns about physical appearance.  The mind may lament: “I have too many wrinkles.”  “How did my butt get so big?”  “What should I do about these sun spots?”

Does this list sound at all familiar?  You can probably write your own – your unique “flavor” of negative mental messages.  These messages range from annoying to downright tyrannical.  They are tyrannical because they control your life.

What kind of life can you live when your mind harasses you constantly with these types of concerns and worries?

It is my contention that true health is impossible when you live with a tyrannical mind.  And most people do.  You can eat all the right foods, do all the right exercises, take all the best supplements, and have a wonderful mix of alternative and conventional medical care.  Yet if you are a slave to your thoughts, believing every mental message that the mind produces, how can you be truly healthy?

The mind-body connection is by now well-known and documented throughout the scientific literature.  If your mind is producing stress, anxiety, and insecurity, whether that is through making you believe that you are not quite good enough the way you are, or that something is wrong with you, or making you worry and stress about situations over which you have no control, this mental turbulence has a very real impact on your physical health and well-being.

The tragedy is that most people live enslaved by their minds – their thoughts, beliefs, mental patterns and emotions.  The triumph is that with a little awareness and effort, you can begin to free yourself from the tyranny of your mind and move toward true health and well-being.

Freeing the Mind – Breaking Free from the Thoughts and Beliefs that Confine You

So, how do you break free from this ceaseless and controlling mind-chatter?

Fortunately, there are some steps you can take that will help you find freedom from a controlling, and even debilitating mind.

Step #1: Become aware of the thoughts that you think

Before you can break free from your negative thoughts, ideas, and beliefs about yourself, your body, and your life, you must first become aware of the thoughts that you think on a regular basis.

What thoughts and beliefs are being generated in your mind?  Everyone has thoughts, messages, “tapes” if you will, that run through the mind.  Without awareness, these thoughts control you and dictate your life.  Yet as you become aware of the thoughts you think on a regular basis, you can gradually begin to loosen the control they have over your life.

There is no practice more important or more impactful in breaking free from the thoughts that control you than the practice of meditation.  Over time, a regular meditation practice makes you more aware of the thoughts that are being generated by your mind.  With meditation, you discover that you are not the thoughts you think.  You are not the messages and voices inside your head.  Over time, meditation will gradually help lessen the grip and hold that your thoughts have over your life.  The amazing thing about meditation is that simply by practicing meditation, you will become more aware of the thoughts you think on a regular basis.

Step #2: Recognize that they are false

Before you become aware of your thoughts, they control you absolutely.  As you become aware of them, you can begin to notice that they control you.  You can begin to notice how they control you.  The next step in breaking free from them is recognizing that they are false.  You have to realize that they are simply messages, usually learned in early childhood, and they are false.  They are not about you and should not be allowed to control your life.

Step#3: Refuse to believe them

The next step is refusing to believe them.  As you begin to see more clearly that these false messages run through your mind, you can make a decision to not believe them.  You can recognize that they are false – false messages running through your mind.  As such, they should not be listened to and should be ignored.

It is like music running in the background.  You can carry about your business, go about your life, and ignore the negative thoughts and beliefs.  Disregard them, don’t listen to them – completely ignore them.  As you practice this, gradually over time they will lessen and recede more and more.

In this way, you can use your awareness to free yourself from the negative thoughts that you think.

As the mind becomes free from these negative messages and beliefs, it can be used as an ally to promote health.  When you are listening to the negative thoughts and beliefs that run through your mind, it promotes dis-ease.  As you become free from these voices, the energy of your mind is elevated to help you move toward true wellbeing.

Sarah Maria, author of Love Your Body, Love Your Life, outlines her 5-step process for helping you feel great in and about your body.  Her work embraces the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, for true, lasting healing.  Visit BreakFreeBeauty.com to learn more.

Technorati Tags: healthy thinking, love your body love your life, sarah maria, using your mind to help heal

Can you tell the difference between the objective feedback your body offers versus the critical condemnation of your mind?

Your body’s objective feedback can help you make lifestyle choices that promote your health and well-being, whereas the critical condemnation of your mind creates nothing but suffering.

Our bodies are incredible messengers, powerful gifts on the journey through life.  We can use the constant feedback that our bodies give us to help us make changes and adaptations to promote our health.  If we listen to the criticism of our minds, however, it will sabotage us.  The negative mental messages can eclipse the body’s natural intelligence and feedback, which will prevent us from making the healthy choices we want to make.

The mind opines, while the body illuminates.  The mind makes you mistakenly believe that your body means something about who you are as a person, your self-worth and your value.  It levels judgment and criticism.  It makes you believe that you are somehow not good enough, that something is wrong with you and your body.

Here are some examples to elucidate the point:

Objective Feedback vs. Critical Condemnation

• “I am holding weight in my abdomen – I can tell I have been under a lot of stress.”
  versus “My stomach is flabby and disgusting – I am out of shape and need to do more sit-ups.”
• “I haven’t been able to exercise recently and can tell that my legs are weak.”
  versus “My cellulite is disgusting and I cringe when I look in the mirror.”
• “I notice that when I eat sugar regularly it leads to weight gain and is addictive.”
  versus “Why can’t I control myself?  I am so weak.”
• “I can tell that my arms are becoming weak – it would be good for me to increase my upper-body strength.”
  versus “My arms are flabby, weak, and I don’t even want to look at them.”
• “It has been too long without a haircut.”
  versus “My hair is flat, dull, and disgusting.”

The key is to use your body for valuable, useful feedback, and to disregard the worthless messages of criticism that come from mental conditioning.

Critical condemnation is when you use your body and appearance to:

• Determine your self-worth
• Use it as a reflection of your “success” or “failure”
• Use it as a reflection of your “strength” or “weakness”
• Use it as a reflection of being “good” or “bad”

Here are three helpful steps to help you use your body’s messages for objective feedback, while dropping the mind’s critical condemnation:

1. Become increasingly aware of the difference between the body’s messages and the mind’s messages
2. Separate the “wheat” from the “chaff” – use the objective feedback and drop the self-judgment, criticism, and condemnation
3. Make lifestyle choices based on the feedback, not the condemnation

A key tool to help you learn to differentiate between your body’s messages and your mind’s messages is meditation.

A regular meditation practice is essential to help you break free from the critical mind-chatter that can sabotage your best intentions.

Technorati Tags: body image, sarah maria, self worth, self-esteem and body image

If you are like most people, you think you are doing life.  If you are like most people, you live by your to-do list.  You get up early—maybe you work out.  You go to work, take care of the kids, eat food, deal with your boss, figure out how to sell your house… For many, life itself is one big TO-DO.

In reality, however, life is much more about being and less about doing.  The exquisite blessings of life are not delivered based on how much you do.  No, life’s greatest treasures, life’s pleasures, life’s bliss, life’s ecstasy, are based on being.  Just learning how to be yourself, how to be free, how to be love, how to just be.  The true tragedy is that most of us have no idea how to be free, how to just be.  We only know how to do.  We have lost the art of human being; we have traded it for human doing.

Now the beautiful thing is that when you learn the art of being, it does not mean that you have to stop doing, for you can “be” doing anything.  Or not doing anything.  Being is simply the art of allowing life to unfold, allowing life to live you and lead you where it may.  To the outside observer, everything might look the same.  It is simply your orientation that is different.

One of the great master keys to learning the art of being is to discover that life is living you.  You think you are living life.  You think you are doing so much.  But in truth, in reality, life is doing you.  You are just here for the ride.  Learn to shift your awareness away from being the doer and instead allow life to do you.  This might sound esoteric, but in truth it is very practical.

One way to make it practical is to master the art of allowing.  Begin to approach life from the perspective of allowing. Do you have many tasks to complete?  Allow them to get done.  Yes, you may still be doing them, but you will be allowing them to get done.  They will get done through you, not by you.  Are you feeling stressed?  Allow life to unfold.  Are you looking for answers?  Live the questions and allow the answers to come.  Are you struggling with illness?  Allow your body to heal.

Now you might think this sounds simplistic.  Your response may be: yes, very nice idea, but I have bills to pay, and a real health condition, and I need to do things in order to get through my day.  And yes, this is all very real, and very true.  But when you have an orientation of allowing life to unfold, and allowing things to get done, everything gets accomplished with much more ease and less strain.

No need to do anything dramatic, no need to make any big change.  Just as you go throughout your day, remind yourself that you are allowing.  Whatever struggles you are confronting, allow whatever IS just to be.  Life is always much easier when you are not fighting with what is happening.  Life might be painful; it might be difficult; it might be stressful.  Or it might be fun, and light, and easy.  Whatever it is, just allow it to be.  Allow it to be.  Allow it to arise and subside.  Allow yourself to experience.  Just allow, allow, allow.  Allow life to unfold.

It is an absolute illusion that you are doing life.  Life is truly doing you.  And the more willing you are to allow life to do you, the easier it becomes.  The more you allow life to live you, the more freedom, joy, and love, you can and will experience.  So as you go throughout your day, just remind yourself occasionally, remind yourself to allow.  Remind yourself to be. In the midst of activity, just continue to be.  And watch to see if everything gets just a little bit easier, as you discover what it means to be a human being, an actual human BEING…

Technorati Tags: Journey, life, Life's treasure, Living Life, sarah maria, sarah maria body image expert

Life is meant to be a love affair, an actual love affair.  Life, as it truly is, is in fact, a love affair.  Now you can choose whether or not to experience life as such, whether or not to join in the dance.  But no matter what, life itself always remains a true love affair, an intimate dance in each and every moment.

Every desire for love, every desire to love, is simply the longing within you to experience the reality of life, the truth of what you are.  Your longing for love is your longing to know and experience yourself as the love that you are in reality.

Each and every human experience of love is designed for the sole purpose of showing you what you truly are; it is designed to illumine the nature of you true beauty.

The mistake that people make is thinking that love comes from some particular experience and is dependent on a particular experience.  The human mind creates the illusion that love comes from an experience or an interaction with a particular object.

In reality, love is inherent in every experience.  Love is what is actually happening in every experience. Most people miss this because they think of love as a feeling; they think of love as something that comes and goes.  But true love is the very ground of existence.  It cannot come and go because it simply IS.  Love is what is in every experience.  Whether your experience is pleasurable or painful, good or bad, friendly or unfriendly, what is happening is still love.

This may sound like a tall claim, an extreme claim, even an impossible claim.  But if you think about it, even for a moment, you will discover that it can be no other way.

You do not exist as a separate individual but exist only in communion with the entire cosmos.  You are appearing as what you perceive of as “you”, as a particular body-mind.  But in essence, “you” has no independent existence at all.  You are the same as the flowers, as the dirt, as the air, as your friends, as your lover, as your cat, as your dog.  You are the same essence.

As you realize and experience this, every interaction becomes a kiss; every interaction becomes intimate.  When you are open, when you are available, every experience is a kiss from the divine in its myriad forms.

1. When you walk through the park, notice the trees, the flowers, the ocean – they all stop to smile, wave, and embrace you, if given half the chance.
2. Instead of judging your body for its perceived flaws and imperfections, practice dropping into it and fully experiencing it.  Your body is always alive with love.
3. In every interaction, whether with pleasant or unpleasant, let yourself experience the love that is underneath the pleasure or the pain.

Love is what is happening all the time.  Simply let life love you. That is what it is designed to do, if given half the chance.

So instead of thinking that love comes from a particular experience, use every experience where you feel love to remind yourself of what is already and always the case.

When you experience a moment of love, a hug from a friend, an embrace with your lover, a smile on a child’s face, let that remind you of the love that is always there, always available, all the time.  Use that experience to remind you that life is love happening, and you are an intrinsic, indispensable, an exquisitely beautiful part of the cosmic love affair.

VividLife.me Contributor

Sarah Maria, author of Love Your Body, Love Your Life, outlines her 5-step process for helping you feel great in and about your body. Her work embraces the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, for true, lasting healing. Purchase your copy and begin to love your body today.  Visit: www.sarahmaria.com or for more about Sarah Maria’s work, please visit:  www.breakfreebeauty.com.

Technorati Tags: Healthy Living, love your body, sarah maria, self-esteem and body image

How willing are you to live in the mystery? How willing are you to live the mystery? Or another way to ask this question is how willing are you to allow the mystery to live you?

You see, you live in mystery. Or, better said, you are a living mystery.

Very few people are ready and willing to accept this mystery. The mind wants to figure the mystery out, seeking to grasp and hold onto the mystery. The mind asks:

• What about this?
• How do I?
• But what if?
• How does it work?
• What will happen when?

And there is nothing wrong with these questions. Yet the deepest longing of your heart and soul, the deep yearning for truth, cannot be grasped and understood – it can only be experienced.

I heard a story once that a great scientist (I think Einstein) said: “God doesn’t play dice with the universe”. With the advent of quantum physics, another leading scientist reveled: “God not only plays dice, but he throws the dice where no one can find them.”

This is simply a way of saying that we are part of a mystery that cannot be explained, that cannot be understood, that cannot be grasped. But it can be experienced. The mystery can be revealed; you can literally experience a revelation; you can experience the revelation of the mystery.

In my experience, the fastest way to experience this mystery, to live this mystery, is through the heart. When you live from the heart, you transcend the mind. For many people, the mind serves as a barrier to the experience of truth. Not because the mind is bad, not because the mind is wrong, but simply because the mind has been conditioned, trained, away from truth.

The mind has been conditioned to have all sorts of beliefs, ideas, attitudes, and assumptions. And none of these beliefs can show you the mystery of reality, the mystery of life, because this mystery can only be experienced directly. It can be experienced not through thinking, feeling, or doing, but rather through surrendering.

It is natural, almost inevitable, to be afraid of living the mystery because living the mystery means seeing that you are not in control. For those of us who like to think we control life, or at the very least control ourselves, surrendering to the mystery can seem daunting, overwhelming, even unbearable.

Yet the truth of the matter remains – we are part and parcel of an incredible mystery. And we do not control the mystery. It is when you are willing to surrender to this mystery we call life that true beauty can begin to reveal itself.

So take some time this week to reside in the heart. Reside in your heart and see if you can let the mystery guide you to an experience of your exquisite nature.

VividLife.me Contributor

Sarah Maria, author of Love Your Body, Love Your Life, outlines her 5-step process for helping you feel great in and about your body. Her work embraces the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, for true, lasting healing. Purchase your copy http://www.amazon.com/dp/1605501530/?tag=brefrebea-20, begin to love your body today. Visit: www.sarahmaria.com, www.breakfreebeauty.com.

Technorati Tags: peace and wellbeing, sarah maria

For me, 2010 will be the year of the heart.

In the West, most people think of the mind as being the source of insight, wisdom, knowledge and guidance. People think that the mind is where they will find the answers to life’s most important questions; it is where they think they will discover how to live. And yet for most people the mind is the seat of ignorance, confusion, and difficulty.

In other traditions, and in my own experience, the heart is the true seat of wisdom and knowledge. The mind get confused; the heart loves. The mind questions; the heart knows. The mind worries; the heart relaxes.

Now don’t get me wrong – the mind can be a very useful tool. When kept in its proper role, it is an incredible asset. But it should remain a servant, not a master.

As you learn to focus on your heart instead of on your mind, you will discover a whole new way of being in the world. You will be able to tap into wisdom, insight, and guidance that you never before imagined.

So consider this as a start for 2010: turn your attention to your heart; connect with the feeling of love, and share your love and gratitude. Are there people in your life who evoke a feeling of love? Did you experience blessings in 2009 that evoke a feeling of gratitude? Focus on these people or these blessings. Let them evoke the feelings of love and gratitude, and let these feelings pour out from you and gently guide your life.

Now one thing about this practice, and about following the path of the heart more generally: I am not promising that it might not be messy. Hearts can be broken. You can share your love and gratitude and have it rejected, and that hurts. You can give everything you have, offer all the love you can, and still feel hurt, betrayed, abandoned, unloved. There might be bumps, bruises, cuts, and scratches as you offer your tender heart.

But in my experience these pains and these hurts are never the end – they aren’t the final say. They don’t have the final word. The more you love, the more you give, the purer your heart becomes. Now this does not mean deplete yourself, abandon yourself, or deny yourself. Quite the contrary: it means love yourself completely; give yourself everything, and let this love become your life.

Always start by offering yourself love first. When you truly love yourself, you love others. For when you know how to love yourself, your heart becomes full. And your love begins to flower – it begins to bloom. You can begin to offer it, without regard for whether it gets returned or not. Your love might be returned; it might be reflected back to you. It might be rejected and denied because of someone else’s closed heart. But it does not matter. None of that matters. Because the love lives you; the love gives you. Your life becomes an expression of love and is complete in-and-of itself.

And the more this love flowers from within, the more beautiful the world becomes. Unexpected blessings flow into your life; grace finds you and begins to penetrate your being.

So in 2010, let your love flower. Love is not another item on your to-do list. Simply let it flower. Let it grow within your heart and radiate outward. And from this place of fullness, offer love to yourself, offer love to others, offer love to the Divine. Let your entire life become an expression of love and gratitude, for this life is truly an exquisite gift to be both given and received.

Wishing you a year filled with peace, love, and beauty always.

VividLife.me Contributor

Sarah Maria, author of Love Your Body, Love Your Life, outlines her 5-step process for helping you feel great in and about your body. Her work embraces the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, for true, lasting healing. Purchase your copy http://www.amazon.com/dp/1605501530/?tag=brefrebea-20, begin to love your body today. Visit: www.sarahmaria.com, www.breakfreebeauty.com.

Technorati Tags: gratitude, heart and soul, love your body love your life, positive living, positive thinking, sarah maria

Tune in LIVE to VividLife Radio Wednesday, December 30th at 2 pm EST

Love Your Body, Love Your Life: 5 Steps to End Negative Body Obsession and Start Living Happily and Confidently

Sarah Maria is a respected body-image expert who impassions people to love their bodies no matter how they look. Through her speeches, coaching programs and her new best-selling book Love Your Body, Love Your Life, Maria is showing women how to break people free from their Negative Body Obsession (NBO) and adore themselves, regardless of what the package looks like. The quest to eliminate NBO is the core of her acclaimed book. Maria shows women and men how to break free from their Negative Body Obsession and adore themselves, regardless of what the package looks like.

Maria’s mission is to create a world where every person sees the beauty in themselves and in others. Her passion grew out of her own 15-year struggle with body hatred and the obsession to stay thin. Despite her academic achievements, her NBO persisted. That’s when Maria began the long journey of self-discovery that led through the gateway of self-love and acceptance. She uncovered an empowering roadmap that she has distilled into the contents of her book. Love Your Body, Love Your Life outlines a powerful five-step process designed to help people break free from Negative Body Obsession and discover the beauty already inside of them.

“Read this book and you will discover that there is only one beauty, and you are that,” — Deepak Chopra.

Having trained with well-known spiritual teachers and physicians, including Deepak Chopra, Dr. David Simon, co-founder of the Chopra Center for Well-being in Carlsbad, CA, Wayne Dyer, and Jack Canfield, among others, Maria brings both a mainstream practicality and a spiritual inspiration to her programs, her book and her mentoring. She is a Chopra-Center Certified Meditation instructor and an Ayurvedic Lifestyle Counselor.

In addition to her extensive training in health, personal growth, and spirituality, Maria has a long and remarkable academic career. Prior to embarking on her career as a body-image expert, she received a law degree from Stanford University and a Master’s degree in International Affairs from Columbia University. She lived and worked in Latin America, focusing on economic development through small business assistance.

Sarah Maria now lives in Carlsbad, CA. For more information, go to www.breakfreebeauty.com

Love Your Body, Love Your Life: 5 Steps to End Negative Body Obsession and Start Living Happily and Confidently

Technorati Tags: love your body, Love Your Life, negative body image, sarah maria

Part II:  Excerpts from an interview with Sarah Maria, Body Image Expert and Author of ”Love Your Body, Love Your Life: 5 Steps to End Negative Body Obsession and Start Living Happily and Confidently.”

Question: In your book Love Your Body, Love Your Life, you present the five steps for ending NBO. Can you talk about these steps?

The first step is to set an Intention. This is the crucial first step in creating what you want in life, and in creating and experiencing a body and a life that you love.

Step Two is to Identify and Detach from Negative Thoughts. This step is about becoming aware of the thoughts that run through your mind on a regular basis, discovering that they are not your own, that they were given to you from outside. Then you can employ specific tools and techniques to help you detach from these negative thoughts so that they no longer control and influence your life and your well-being.

The third step is to discover who you really are. Who you are – or what you are – is not your thoughts, and is not limited to your body/mind. Who you are is the beauty and perfection of the universe manifesting as a human being. As you discover the truth of who and what you really are, this will help you begin to automatically heal whatever problems are plaguing you.

The fourth step is to befriend your body. Most people have an adversarial relationship with their bodies. The fact of the matter is that your body is your very best friend. From the moment of conception until the moment of death, your body is constantly and ceaselessly promoting and sustaining your well-being. Your body always has your best interests in mind. All you need to do is create the best environment possible and then leave your body alone and let it do what it is designed to do, which is take care of you the best it can.

The fifth step is to live with purpose. Many people suffer from a sense of apathy and meaninglessness. People wonder why they are here; what is the purpose in life; why live at all. The fact of the matter is that your very existence is purposeful. You are here on purpose and for a purpose. As you connect with the sense of purpose, it will also you to heal, body, mind, and soul.

Question: Some people criticize the idea of body acceptance and loving your appearance unconditionally, because it supposedly discourages people who are overweight or obese from getting healthier. What are your thoughts?

This is a very common question and nothing could be further from the truth. We live in a culture where fear is the primary motivator. People think that if they dislike themselves, then they will be motivated to change. This is based on fear and delusion and simply serves to perpetuate suffering.

There is no greater motivator than love – none. The more love the greater the power and ability to make whatever change you want to make in your life, whether it be getting healthier, changing jobs, improving your relationships, anything at all. Love is the one motivator that never decreases, that never wanes, because love in itself is infinite. It is inexhaustible.

Fear, on the other hand, has a very limited “shelf-life.” This is why people lose weight and gain it back and get caught in all sorts of cyclical patterns, like a hamster caught on a never-ending wheel. There is no freedom in fear.

Whenever you truly love someone, you want to do anything in the world to care for him or her, nurture him or her – anything at all. When you love someone completely, the only thing you care about is her well-being, her joy, her happiness, her love. Imagine a mother with her baby child. A mother who can embody and express motherly love will stop at nothing to ensure the survival and well-being of her child. Similarly, two lovers will do anything in the world to remain together.

Love is the true force – the true power – that will allow you to create and sustain whatever changes you want in your life. Simply think it through fully and you will see. Fear is inherently weak. Love is inherently strong. True love will overpower fear any day of the week. If you want to create lasting change and transformation, love has the power to lead you wherever you want to go.

Question: Your approach to improving body image has a strong spiritual component. Can you talk about this?

In my experience, and in my approach, the spiritual component is really the critical component. It is what allows true healing and transformation to occur. Now when I say spiritual, I am not referring to any particular religion or belief system. When I speak of spiritual, it is really about learning to connect with yourself, with your soul, with your inner-teacher that is always available, provided only that you are able to hear it.

The easiest and best way to begin to glimpse this part of yourself, to connect with your soul or your “self”, is through the process of meditation. Someone once said that you cannot fix a problem from the same level that you created it. You cannot fix your mind from the level of the mind. You need to step outside of your mind so that you can clearly see what is happening.

Meditation is the practice, the tool, which allows you to step outside of your mind so that your mind can begin to heal itself. Negative Body Obsession is truly a problem or a disease of the mind. It is based on delusional beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors. Meditation is what allows you to see accurately what is happening so that the mind can begin to heal itself of this affliction and delusion.

Question: What is something readers can do right now to start improving their body image?

The single most important thing you can do is to tell yourself that you are already perfect, beautiful, whole, and complete. Who you are, or rather what you are, is already beautiful and already perfect.

I know this sounds impossible if you dislike your body and are struggling with your weight. Yet this is an important and in fact essential component to healing and creating a body and a life that you love. Who you truly are in reality is not the struggle that you are currently going through. Who you ultimately are is not limited to your body and your mind.

Who you are is the source of all beauty. What you are is already perfect. As you learn to shift your identity from your body-mind and the current struggles your might be experiencing, and place it instead on the reality of your perfection, the reality of your beauty, you will begin to transform the way you view yourself, and ultimately the way you view the whole world.

This might not make any sense to you at this moment, but simply become aware of the negative thoughts beliefs and feelings you have about your body and yourself. Whenever you find yourself caught in a negative dialogue with your body, remind yourself that what you are is already perfect.

Set an intention to discover this beauty and perfection. Set an intention that you will learn to see and experience the beauty that is inside of you in this very moment. Intention is the first step – set an intention for what you want to create, for what you want to experience. Set an intention to improve your body image. This will begin a process that will carry you exactly to where you want to go.

VividLife.me Contributor

Sarah Maria, author of Love Your Body, Love Your Life, outlines her 5-step process for helping you feel great in and about your body. Her work embraces the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, for true, lasting healing. Purchase your copy of Love Your Body, Love Your Life, begin to love your body today!  For more, please visit: www.sarahmaria.com, www.breakfreebeauty.com.

Technorati Tags: body image, love your body love your life, negative body obsession, sarah maria

Question: I’ve heard many people say that disliking your body is just a normal part of being a woman [or a man in today’s culture]. What do you think about such a statement?

This is a very important question that I address specifically in Love Your Body, Love Your Life. Yes, many people, probably most people, say that disliking your body is a normal part of being a woman.  If by “normal” they mean that the majority of women, 80-90%, dislike their bodies, then yes, it is “normal”.  The vast majority of women in this culture at this time do dislike their bodies.

But to think that this is normal as in “natural, necessary, a normal function of being alive” is ridiculous. This belief is part of the problem. Since it is so ubiquitous, many women have come to accept that it is just part of being a woman.  This is ludicrous!  It is settling for what happens to be the situation for many, instead of envisioning the possibilities that are available for all.  It is accepting mediocrity instead of creating grandeur.  It is maintaining the status quo instead of envisioning the truth.

Disliking your body is only normal in that most women experience it.  It is in no way natural, and in no way necessary. You have the ability in each and every moment to love your body and love your life. Negative Body Obsession is a modern cultural epidemic. It has not always existed, and it need not always exist. It is in no way a natural part of being alive and can therefore be completely eradicated from your psyche and experience.

Question: What led you to write Love Your Body, Love Your Life?

I decided to write this book because I experienced first-hand the intense pain, suffering, and agony that can accompany Negative Body Obsession, eating disorders, and low se lf-esteem. I also know that freedom from this hell is completely possible. I want this book to reach people who are struggling with any and all of the above.  There is hope.

I also wrote this book to help people think critically about concepts such as beauty, as well as the beliefs, thoughts, and ideas that so many people take for granted. Beauty is a socially-constructed phenomenon. Different body types, different looks, and different sizes are considered beautiful at different times in history. In the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, curvy and voluptuous was considered stunning. In this culture in this century, thin and muscularly toned is considered sexy. When people recognize that there is no inherent truth in these concepts of beauty, that it is in fact a cultural preference that changes overtime, it helps to dissolve this illusion that how they look is somehow tied to their value and self-worth as an individual.

For many people struggling with a negative body image, they believe that how they look is somehow related to their self-worth as individuals. Nothing could be further from the truth. When people realize that it is a cultural phenomenon, they can begin to free themselves from the whims and preferences of other people and the world around them, and instead discover and experience their own inherent and unique beauty.

Question: In Love Your Body, Love Your Life, you teach readers how to break free from Negative Body Obsession or NBO. What exactly is NBO?

Negative Body Obsession, or NBO, is the negative rumination about one’s physical appearance. It is the entire delusional thought-construct that causes people to believe that something is wrong with their bodies and themselves. It encompasses thoughts such as “I am too fat”; “I would be more attractive if I lost weight”; “I looked so much better when I was younger”; “I need to purchase anti-wrinkle cream – I look so old!”; “No woman will find me attractive without my hair”; “The cellulite on the back of my thighs is hideous”.

These are just examples – only you know your particular negative body thoughts. Negative Body Obsession is essentially the condition of having negative thoughts and beliefs about your body and yourself.

It is important to know that NBO exists on a broad spectrum. You might have an occasional negative body thought that affects your mood and well-being, or you might live with a near-constant barrage of negative body thoughts on a daily basis. No matter whether your condition is mild or severe, complete freedom is possible. Many people think that it is a “normal” part of everyday life, and therefore it is considered acceptable on some level. In reality, there is nothing normal about it, and if it affects you, if even just a little bit, you are not living with all the freedom that is possible.

Question: The media plays a role in fostering body dissatisfaction. In your book, you write “when you master the art of talking back, you can reclaim your control and become an influencer of the media, instead of being a victim influenced by the media.” What are the ways we can talk back?

There are many ways to talk back. In fact, you can probably think of many powerful ways to talk back to the media. I outline a specific exercise in Love Your Body, Love Your Life but the key theme underlying any talking back to the media, or any other “influencer of your thought life”, is by refusing to participate in the process of “internalization.”

The problem with the media occurs when you allow it to influence you, when you allow the messages to be internalized. The problem occurs when you look at a picture in a magazine, or on the television screen, and then take that image to have something to do with you, to be some reflection on you and your body. The fact is that the image has nothing to do with you at all. The problem occurs when you look at the picture and then look at yourself in the mirror and conclude that your life would be better if you looked like that image, or that you would be more attractive if you looked like that image, or that the person in the image is somehow better than you, whatever your particular story is. The fact of the matter is that the photo is in no way a commentary on you.

So the best thing to do with talking back is to tell the media, the magazine, the movie, whatever, that you are not going to allow it to influence you. Remind yourself that it has nothing to do with you, that it is in no way a reflection of you. Tell this to whatever you sense is influencing you. Tell the media that it has no power over you at all. You can choose what you allow to influence you.

VividLife.me Contributor

Sarah Maria, author of Love Your Body, Love Your Life, outlines her 5-step process for helping you feel great in and about your body. Her work embraces the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, for true, lasting healing. Purchase your copy of Love Your Body, Love Your Life, begin to love your body today!  For more, please visit: www.sarahmaria.com, www.breakfreebeauty.com.

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For many, the modern holiday season is often marked by stress and anxiety, strain and worry, apprehension and insecurity. Dreaming of the season rarely conjures up the overflowing peace, joy, and love that come from true thanks and true giving.

Here are a few common stressors that might be draining your joy this season:

• Not enough money to buy the things you want for your friends and family. With the economy still reeling from the recent setback, are you concerned about not having enough cash this season?
• Family dynamics that would cause even the most saintly to cringe – will Uncle Fred ever quit asking you why you are still single???
• Concern about weight gain – how can you ever say “no” to Aunt Betty’s pumpkin pie?
• Travel, snow storms, work deadlines – for many it is a busy and overwhelming time of year.

No matter the particular situation you find yourself in this season, you can effortlessly glide through the holidays with peace, joy, and love. There is just one secret to unwrap, one small shift in awareness that will transform your time from one of worry to one of peace, from one of constriction to one of freedom:

Realize that everything in your life is a gift. Recognize that every single experience that shows up in your life is a gift.

What makes a gift a gift is the act of giving, as well as the act of receiving. Gifts are freely given just as they can be effortlessly received. You can accept the gift, whatever it may be, beautiful or ugly, painful or pleasurable. Investigate it, admire it, cherish it, inquire into it, and when it has served its purpose you can let it go. Just as it freely came, it can freely go. And as you let one gift go, as you let it return from whence it came, another gift will come flowing into your life with astonishing speed. This is true gratitude – to experience everyone and everything as a gift to be cherished, loved, and ultimately let go.

Use this season as an opportunity to practice seeing and experiencing everything in your life as a gift. Are you wanting to experience joy and love? Give joy and love to everyone you meet. Are you longing to experience happiness?  Create happiness in the world around you. You will come to discover that giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. Freely give; freely receive.

Ask yourself – what in your life is a blessing? Literally, count your blessings and make a list. Say them out loud with family and friends. This activates gratitude and releases those feel good feelings in the body.  Then counter it with introspection on current life challenges. Write or talk about ways to improve these challenges and find the positive aspects.  Focusing on what you have learned from the challenge will help. Discover the opportunity inherent in any setback. Recognize both blessings and challenges as gifts. Both bring their own insight; their own magic.

As you discover the answers to these questions, you will experience the peace, the joy, and the love that is the hallmark of the holiday season, and, in fact, the potential of every day of your life.

Remember that everything you experience is calling you home – calling you home to the reality of your true nature, the reality of your perfection, your beauty, and your grace. When you see this, life will no longer be a struggle.

So this holiday season, if you notice yourself feeling stressed, worried, or anxious, take a few moments to close your eyes and breathe.  Become mindful of your blessings whatever form they may take. Say thank you and move forward giving others gifts of love, affection, and appreciation, for as you give, so shall you receive.

Sarah Maria is the author of Love Your Body, Love Your Life. The book outlines her 5-step process for helping you feel great in and about your body and yourself. Her work embraces the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, so that true and lasting healing can occur.  Click here to purchase your copy and begin to love your body today. To learn more about Sarah Maria and her work, you can visit her websites at www.sarahmaria.com and www.breakfreebeauty.com.

Technorati Tags: body image expert, break free beauty, breakfreebeauty.com, Christmas stress, giving thanks, gratitude, holiday stress, person growth, sarah maria, self esteem and self love