I’ve heard this story many times before, but it had special poignance today as I realize just how many people I encounter in my daily work who feel like damaged goods as a result of their perception of circumstances they have faced throughout their lives. While it is true that many have been through trauma and abuse, of which I am at a loss to make sense and comfort at times. Some of the residual pain they feel that often leads to suidicidal thought and in far too many cases, multiple attempts, comes from their perception of themselves.  THAT I may be able to do something about. As a writer, I am also, as friends refer to me ‘the Queen of Metaphor’, coming up with all manner of word pictures that help people reframe their experience. Not sure I can top this one.

A well-known speaker started off his seminar holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, “Who would like this $20 bill?” Hands started going up. He said, “I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, “Who still wants…… it……?” Still the hands were up in the air. Well, he replied, “What if I do… this?” And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. “Now, who still wants it?” Still the hands went into the air. “My friends” he said, ” We have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE. You are special.

Take a look at your own life and the decisions you have made, either consciously or unconsciously about yourself, your worth  and the impact you have on the world around you. I have heard my clients say that “The world is a terrible place and that society is messed up (well, some have used an edgier and less polite word to describe it).” I remind them that they too are part of society and as such, have responsibility to do something positive each day to change the mix. It’s my contention that when people are happier with themselves, they have a more healing impact on their surroundings.  It is about being your authentic self. What we are, we offer out to the world. It’s as simple as that. I’m sure that you have walked into a room in which people are smiling, laughing and enjoying each other’s company. How do you feel when you enter? Do you want to stay and when you leave the room, do you carry that sweet energy with you?  On the flip side, if you step into a room in which people are complaining, angry or on edge, how does THAT feel?  I know I would want to escape that environment as quickly as possible and not return and I definitely would choose not to take that feeling with me. Emotional states have a contagious component to them. Think about the people with whom you spend the majority of the time..would they be more likely to be in the first room or the second room?  Over the years, I have divested myself of emotional vampires who attempt to suck me dry of my energy, because they feel like that crumpled $20 bill, not recognizing their worth, so they desperately search for emotional sustenance, since they don’t know that it was within them all them time. And on the occasion that some folks in my life are on a downward spiral in conversation, reciting a litany of complaints, I stop them in their tracks, by asking them to tell me one positive thing that happened that day. They always do, because their is always treasure in the muck…you just need to keep looking until it shows up.

Our true value isn’t based on surface accomplishments, although it feels good to have them acknowleged, but rather on how we feel when we gaze at the woman or man in the mirror, know that they are loved beyond measure andthat they have given each day their best and added to the ‘love soup’.  Are you ready to be that ingredient?

Rev. Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW is a Renaissance Woman and Bliss Mistress who delights in inviting people to live rich, full, juicy lives. Edie is an internationally recognized, sought after, colorfully creative journalist, interviewer and author, a dynamic and inspiring speaker, licensed social worker, interfaith minister, offering uniquely designed spiritual rituals. In addition, she is a PR Goddess, promoting events and transformational teachers, healers, writers and artists. She speaks on the subjects of wellness, spirituality, sexuality, creativity, time management, recovery, body image, mindfulness, self esteem, stress management, re-creating yourself, caring for the caregiver, loss and grief. She is a frequent guest on radio and TV. Edie is currently writing her first best selling book entitled The Bliss Mistress Guide To Transforming the Ordinary Into The Extraordinary and is offering a workshop for women who want to re-create their lives, based on those concepts. A 20 year old journalistic vision came to pass in July of 2008 when she interviewed His Holiness The Dalai Lama. It was a potent reminder to never, ever, ever give up on our dreams. Over the years, Edie has written for mainstream and transformational publications. She has interviewed hundred of notables in the transformational fields, including Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Debbie Ford, Leonard Peltier, Shirley MacLaine, Michael Beckwith, Jonathan Goldman, Gregg Braden, Neale Donald Walsch, Mary Manin Morrissey, Dan Millman, Alan Cohen, Ram Dass, Jack Canfield, Jean Shinoda Bolen, Patch Adams, Ben and Jerry, Donna DeLory, James Twyman, Elizabeth Lesser, Michael Franti and Jean Houston. Her website is http://www.liveinjoy.org

Read more from VividLife.me bloggers:

A Real Angel by Edie Weinstein

Life’s mysteries are endlessly fascinating to me  and involve Divine timing, since I never know when one will show up to teach me something I may not have learned otherwise. Such was the case tonight, during a book signing for The Bliss Mistress Guide To Transforming the Ordinary Into the Extraordinary. I walked into a store called A Special Gift, little knowing at the time what I gift I was about to receive. The owner, Jeff saw …

Doing Our Best by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

When I was growing up my father often said: “Everyone does the best they can with what they have to work with.” What I want you to know about this is that he did not say this lightly, did not come to this from a life of ease or privilege. He had grown up poor with an abusive alcoholic father and an exhausted, unprotective mother. As a child he and his mother were beaten almost every night by my grandfather who eventually (after my father was an adult) committed suicide- hung himself in the barn of the dirt farm where my father had …

Technorati Tags: $20, authentic self, Emotional Vampires, Mental Health, Motivation, self esteem, Suicide Prevention

Last night at a Bliss Book signing event, I was in the company of wise women who shared what it was that helped them live their bliss to the fullest. They ranged in age from mid 30′s to late 50′s, all with enough life experience to fill an ocean. Collectively they had been married, divorced, widowed, raised children, had miscarriages, been students, teachers, healers, business owners, faced illness and injury, lost loved ones, and were immersed in  projects and passions that tickled their souls. I felt so enriched in their presence and amazed that they had come out to hear me speak.  Then the voices of two friends came echoing back from this past week. Both of these men have known me for a few decades and were accomplished professionals. Unsolicited, each had the same feedback for me as I have entered into a new phase in my life as a published book author. “Stop playing small. Stop diminishing your own gifts. Trust your own wisdom and offer it without using affiliation with other transformational teachers to validate yours.” Oh my!  Were they listening to the conversation in my head over the past few months?  Admittedly, I have placed certain people on a pedestal because they had achieved my desires, forgetting what my father often said, “They put their pants on one leg at a time, just like you do.”  One of those friends said “They have nothing on you. You offer your own unique take on the message.”  Ego flares and  humble hiding all at once as I dance that line between feeling like “I’m all that and a bag of chips.” and like the crunchy crumbs at the bottom of the bag.  Is that familiar to anyone reading this?

My friend Lisa shared a story at the gathering last night that I had heard before, but it was particularly poignant at that moment.  A man was cleaning his aquarium and had placed the fishies in the bathtub filled with water until their home was fresh and clean and sparkly. He observed with amusement, that they didn’t enjoy their new found freedom by swimming in the entire tub. Instead, they huddled in one corner, which (no surprise) was the same size of the space they had occupied in the fish tank. And so it is with many of us, myself included. How often do I play it safe, dipping my toe in the water, since I don’t want to make a big splash? I forget that as I immerse in the ocean of love and inspiration, any water that I spray about, gets on others who may be standing on the shore. They may see me having so much fun, that they may be encouraged to dive in themselves.

I’m reminded of a quote that I am paraphrasing here: We  can go to the ocean with a bucket or a thimble…the ocean doesn’t care. You are so worthy of that watery wealth.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KmKkV3ddAo

Rev. Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW is a Renaissance Woman and Bliss Mistress who delights in inviting people to live rich, full, juicy lives. Edie is an internationally recognized, sought after, colorfully creative journalist, interviewer and author, a dynamic and inspiring speaker, licensed social worker, interfaith minister, offering uniquely designed spiritual rituals. In addition, she is a PR Goddess, promoting events and transformational teachers, healers, writers and artists. She speaks on the subjects of wellness, spirituality, sexuality, creativity, time management, recovery, body image, mindfulness, self esteem, stress management, re-creating yourself, caring for the caregiver, loss and grief. She is a frequent guest on radio and TV. Edie is currently writing her first best selling book entitled The Bliss Mistress Guide To Transforming the Ordinary Into The Extraordinary and is offering a workshop for women who want to re-create their lives, based on those concepts. A 20 year old journalistic vision came to pass in July of 2008 when she interviewed His Holiness The Dalai Lama. It was a potent reminder to never, ever, ever give up on our dreams. Over the years, Edie has written for mainstream and transformational publications. She has interviewed hundred of notables in the transformational fields, including Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Debbie Ford, Leonard Peltier, Shirley MacLaine, Michael Beckwith, Jonathan Goldman, Gregg Braden, Neale Donald Walsch, Mary Manin Morrissey, Dan Millman, Alan Cohen, Ram Dass, Jack Canfield, Jean Shinoda Bolen, Patch Adams, Ben and Jerry, Donna DeLory, James Twyman, Elizabeth Lesser, Michael Franti and Jean Houston. Her website is http://www.liveinjoy.org 

Read more from VividLife.me bloggers:

Doing Our Best by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

When I was growing up my father often said: “Everyone does the best they can with what they have to work with.” What I want you to know about this is that he did not say this lightly, did not come to this from a life of ease or privilege. He had grown up poor with an abusive alcoholic father and an exhausted, unprotective mother. As a child he and his mother were beaten almost every night by my grandfather who eventually (after my father was an adult) committed suicide- hung himself in the barn of the dirt farm where my father had…

5 Keys to stay Positive in Challenging times by Pragito Dove

Here are my top 5 Keys that can help you cultivate not only a positive mindset but also the feeling state necessary for the positive Law of Attraction. The more you focus on bringing awareness to accepting and loving yourself, the more your inner beauty and harmony is reflected in your outer circumstances. The Sufi master who designed the Taj Mahal based his work on meditation. It shows, doesn’t it?

Technorati Tags: Bliss, law of attraction, Motivation, reflection, The Bliss Mistrress Guide To Transforming the Ordinary Into the Extraordinary, Vision

We were doing a book signing in New York City. Oscar winning actress Ellen Burstyn is one of the contributors to our book so she joined us for the evening’s event at Barnes & Noble. During question time a woman in the audience stood up and said, “I came here to see a movie star but I’m leaving wanting to learn how to meditate!”

The lady had come wanting to have a fun evening, had been fed some nourishing wisdom, and was now interested in exploring meditation. This inspired us to see how there are three essentials to the spiritual journey: eating, or feeding and nourishing our inner self; playing, by not taking ourselves too seriously, while compassionately accepting our shortcomings and weaknesses; and meditating, or awakening to inner peace and freedom.

Eat: What can we eat that is not just through our mouth but will bring us real meaning and a deeper satisfaction? What can we absorb or take in that nourishes the yearning within us for something more fulfilling and genuine?

This longing for more arises when the material world begins to lose its taste and allure, when we realize that life is much more than the dramas, dreams, wants, wishes and fantasies we experience daily. We hunger for truth, for what is real and sustaining rather than fleeting and insubstantial. So we start searching, reading, learning, absorbing, going to meetings and to different teachers. This may take us into many varied, sometimes confusing and often hilarious places, but we need the experience of this inner food, this spiritual nourishment, in order to find our own truth. It is as essential to our spiritual health as are protein and vitamins to our physical health.

Play: The more we “eat” spiritual food by absorbing the teachings of various traditions and exploring different paths and methods, the more we discover and get to know ourselves. Which can be both delightful and challenging. One of the greatest lessons we have learned over the last 30 or more years of practicing and teaching meditation is not to take ourselves or our issues too seriously.

It is essential to play, otherwise the journey can become a struggle and we will not be happy. Play includes seeing that whatever arises in our monkey mind is workable, that when we fall we can get up and start over again, laughing at our humanness we do. It means recognizing the pull of the ego mind, the never-ending desire for more, and how easy it is to be selfish. Many people see self-discovery as a serious and challenging journey, yet having fun with our own minds is essential. We need to dance, sing, even be a fool, enjoying the exquisiteness of awakening.

Meditate: The lady at the book signing asked what the difference was between prayer and meditation. Ellen happily answered by saying that, “prayer is when you talk to God, and meditation is when you listen to God.”

Meditation has been associated with everything from affirming ourselves as thin/rich/in love to visualizing ourselves bathed in white light to sitting cross-legged with closed eyes and doing nothing but contemplating our own navel. Yet meditation is none of these. Rather, it is both an experience of radiant emptiness, as well as the practice that enables us to see our limited and self-centered nature for what it is and to discover the depth and freedom that lies within us.

Meditation puts on the light in an otherwise dark room. It enables us to see through illusions and relax into our true nature. Without meditation it is like being in a desert without water. We look everywhere for satisfaction, but like a mirage it cannot be seen or found.

In essence, meditation is both nourishing and playful; it feeds our spirit and releases us from the drama of the ego mind. In this way all three move together, feeding and deepening each other.

******

See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Marianne Williamson, Jane Fonda, Ram Dass, Byron Katie, and many others.

Our 3 meditation CD’s: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

Technorati Tags: gratitude, Happiness, inspiration, Meditation, Motivation, personal development, Personal Growth, self-discovery, Spirituality

When the movie “The Secret” debuted, it became an instant buzz.  Everyone wanted to know more and more about this Law of Attraction concept. The idea is that everything is made up of energy and since energy vibrates, that means everything that exists actually vibrates whether you can view it or not.  All thoughts, beliefs, and feelings that you create and put out into the universe is exactly what will be handed back to you on a silver platter.

If you are feeling positive, you will attract back positive feelings and the same goes, if we are vibrating negative feelings that, too, will be attracted back to you.  Sound easy?  Absolutely.

There is, however, one very important key element missing in all of this and that is action.  That’s right, the law of attraction doesn’t state we have to take action, we just have to think about what we want and the universe will manifest that right back to us.  Now for an addict or alcoholic, this is definitely the softer and easier way to gain sobriety.  You don’t have to go to meetings, get a sponsor, read the big book, or for that matter do any work to become clean and sober.  You just think, believe, and feel sobriety, and it will just happen.  

This is similar to the instant gratification mentality of an addict or alcoholic, that if you just have this drink or take this drug, you will suddenly feel better.   This was intriguing, but I could not fathom how just thinking something would bring it into existence, however, physicists or law of attraction proponents might disagree.

I became interested in the Law of Attraction and how it might help addicts and alcoholics while working at a famous Malibu Treatment Center.  I noticed after the clients viewed the movie, there was this complete silence in the room and the energy of the environment completely shifted. There was this transformation that permeated the rehab and suddenly clients who had been depressed, un-motivated, and detached suddenly became hopeful, inspired, and suddenly eager to soak up everything their treatment program was providing them.  How could this be?

In recovery, the belief is that there must be a complete makeover of your life, if sobriety is to be achieved.  The law of attraction did not provide these tools, however what it did offer was the idea that if you live on purpose and if you have meaning in your life, you are aligning yourself with what the universe wants for you.  Whether you call it God, universe, source, higher power, Buddha, or Jesus, everyone has a calling and a greater purpose.  This idea of purpose and meaning in one’s life seemed to be the catalyst that was energizing these clients. 

It was at this point, I was determined to find a way to integrate the law of attraction into these recovering alcoholics and addicts’ lives, and that is where the Law of Sobriety was incubated.

Addicts and alcoholics in many ways are looking for a transcendent experience when they use and drink to transport them out of the intolerable reality in which they are living. They are already on a spiritual quest of sorts by using mind altering substances to gain relief and to escape their very existence.     

Some call it emptiness, a soul sickness, a bottomless pit, but whatever it is, addicts and alcoholics are missing out on any sort of joy and will go to great lengths to find it.  Alcohol and drugs may provide them with a temporary reprieve, but it is certainly not the long term answer to the pain and emptiness most addicts and alcoholics feel on a daily basis.   

Happiness is something we seek outside of us, but joy is already within us.  If an individual is living a life of purpose and meaningfulness, then joy is possible.   Once the addict aligns its energy with their calling and takes certain action steps to get there, then the universe allows the addict access to a deeper form of satisfaction that is un-available with the self destructive behavior that comes from alcoholism and drug addiction.  This is when the addict connects with a universal life force and it is here that space opens up creating a life that is filled with harmony and peace.

This is the serenity the addict was so desperately searching for but always looking for it in the wrong places. All along, the answers could be found inside the addict’s being.   He just did not know how to access it because the drugs and alcohol got in the way.

The action steps in creating a joyful life for the addict consists of living on purpose and with intention, living a life of value and authenticity, learning to live in appreciation and compassion for oneself and others, living a life of right action and the power to chose the right path, living with profound awareness and mindfulness, and learning to let go of resistance and attachments.

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We’ve been seeing a lot of ego-centered attitudes flying around Washington in the deficit battle, the confusing GOP presidential race, and in London with the Murdoch fiasco. Seems like the more power one has, the more the ego dominates: me and my opinions are more important than the needs of others. There is no limit to the damage a powerful ego can cause, from the arrogant conviction that our own opinions are only right ones and everyone should be made to agree, to wielding and abusing responsibility and authority at the expense of other people’s lives and freedoms.

The ego could be the least understood of all our human qualities. It’s the “me” bit that gives us our sense of ourselves. This is not necessarily good or bad, except when selfishness dominates our thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. A positive sense of self gives us confidence and purpose, but a more negative and self-centered ego makes us unconcerned with other people’s feelings; it thrives on the idea of me-first and impels us to cry out, “What about me? What about my feelings?”

The purpose of the ego is to be in control and so it keeps us focused in the realm of me-ness. It makes us believe we are the cleverest, best informed and most important, as easily as it makes us feel unworthy, unlovable, and certainly not good enough to be happy. It is this misguided sense of self that is the root cause of so much distress, both in our own lives and in the world: wars are fought, families split, and friends forgotten due to this misunderstanding.

Fostering the delusion that only ‘I’ is important, that me and mine must come before us and ours, the ego makes us believe we are something, that this something is different, special and unique, and that we are separate from everything and everyone else. When we become aware of our essential unity and oneness with all beings then the ego becomes redundant and loses its job. It will, therefore, do whatever it has to in order to perpetuate its employment.

Creating the illusion that we are the dust on the mirror, the ego ensures that we believe we could never be so beautiful as the radiant reflection beneath the surface. Yet how extraordinary to believe that we cannot be free when freedom are our true nature!

Hypothetically, all we need to do is to let go of the focus on “me,” of our sense of separateness, our need for distinction, the grasping and clinging to our story. But this is far easier said than done! In India the ego is represented by a coconut as this is the hardest nut to crack. Traditionally, the coconut is offered to the guru or teacher as a sign of the student’s willingness to surrender his or her ego and let go of self-obsession. Such a symbolic gesture shows that the ego is considered to be a great obstacle on the spiritual path and an even greater impediment to developing true kindness and compassion.

As we evolve in consciousness we move from the animal-like state of preservation and survival to developing our own identity as a separate individual. In the process we become more self-centered. The next step is the development of the true individual—one who experiences no separation between self and other and awakens loving kindness. We always remind ourselves what the Dalai Lama said to us when we met with him: We are all equal here. The depth of this statement always connects us to our humility.

The need to reach the top of the mountain, to accomplish our desires and be successful, is the natural impulse to move toward experiencing greater happiness. The difficulty lies in believing that success means being all-powerful; we forget that there is a difference between being powerful in the sense of being egotistic and controlling, and being powerful meaning full of loving kindness and compassion. True power is not corruptive or abusive, as we are seeing in Washington and London; it transcends greed and serves for the benefit of all.

Meditation cultivates awareness so we are able to see the ego at play, how manipulative and self-serving it can be, and how it easily dominates our behavior. Such a reflective practice gives us the experience of no separation and reveals genuine compassion.

******

See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jon Kabat-Zinn, Jane Fonda, Jack Kornfield, Marianne Williamson, Ram Dass, Byron Katie, and many others.

Our 3 meditation CD’s: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

Technorati Tags: confidence, gratitude, Happiness, inspiration, Meditation, Motivation, personal development, Personal Growth, self help, self-discovery, Spirituality

“I’ve never began any important venture for which I felt adequate prepared” by Sheldon Kopp.

The only thing that ever holds us back is fear, nothing else. And fear can be described as worry, anxiety, doubt and anxiety. It’s all fear, and fear is always from the ego.

The ego wants us to stay small and not to move outside the familiar, it likes it where it can keep you a bit agitated and fearful at all times to some extent and where you can stay inside ‘the box’ and not make much of yourself.

Sometimes it will fool you and give something (from the outside world) that makes you ‘happy’ for a while, so that you feel ‘OK’ and ‘not so bad’ after all.. It’s a trick and not to be listened at.

There’s another kind of happiness that lasts, and it comes from within. From your soul.

There are people waiting for you and what you have to give! We need to gather courage and step outside the box in order to live a fulfilling life, and that can be scary, BUT DO IT ANYWAY! Fear is for fearful people, and I can only speak for myself; but I refuse to define myself as such!

There is something that only you can give to the world, a talent or gift that only you can give and the world is waiting for you to bring it forth! There is something so beautiful within you that it makes my eyes tear up now that I write it, that really wants to be expressed.

It needs to be expressed.

Today, do something that scares you – step outside your comfort zone and go for it!

Say to yourself; “fear is for fearful people and I don’t define myself as such! I’m going to do this and I know God has my back and supports me all the way!”

Ego will only tell you FOREVER that you are “not ready”‘; that you have to study more, go to more classes, know more, read more, evolve more, do this and that more, before you can do the thing you know your heart is calling you to do – don’t listen to it, or you will never be ready.

Instead, listen to what your heart is telling you, what the inner voice is telling you; that you won’t have to do it alone, that your inner being will do the things and say the things through you, as you, if you only let it.

Take the step today!

Behind your greatest fear is your greatest blessings.

Imagine how far you could go if there was no fear; read more by clicking here.

Your world will expand for every step you dare to take outside your comfort zone, and it will be an exciting ride where you feel butterflies in your stomach and a sense of great accomplishment – you will feel so proud of yourself!

I believe in you and your greatness and I know that what you have to give is something beautiful – because I know where it comes from, so it has to be. You ARE ready!

Receive a Free E-book; “Clarity Exercise – With Over 30 Powerful Questions That Will Help You Gain Clarity” With a Bonus Gift; a Free Excerpt From The Book “Energy Awareness – How To Use Energy To Change Your Life” by Clicking Here.

Technorati Tags: authenticity, confidence, life purpose, Life with Direction, Motivation, personal development, Personal Growth, Spirituality, Success, The Magic of Life

However you try to define meditation, it’s not that. Swami Brahmananda

Through many years of being involved with meditation we have seen how easily people miss the point, mainly because they take the practice and themselves too seriously. Many ‘try’ to meditate but their minds are so busy they get frustrated and quickly believe they are no good at it. Others turn into die-hard advocates of a particular method or technique and become like a salesperson trying to sell their product.

Just like Yoga, people want to own meditation and to believe that their technique is the best one. They give it a name: TM or Vipassana or Mindfulness and sometimes make outrageous claims of what can be achieved, but that is not the point. Meditation is not a technique – being quiet happens by itself, not because of following the breath in and out, reciting a specific mantra or creating a visualization.

Teachers, through their compassion, created the many methods and techniques in order to help their students to concentrate and focus their minds, to be one-pointed. No one technique is better than another; they equally give our monkey minds something to do other than drive us bananas. Many of the practices known as meditation are actually concentration; they bring the mental energy together so the mind is less fragmented. But this is not meditation.

Meditation invites us to stop, just stop, breathe and be. Just as with a musician playing or an artist painting, when we stop trying to make it happen something occurs, like the radiant sun that suddenly emerges in a cloudy sky. But because we try so hard, we identify more with the technique instead of allowing the meditation to reveal itself.

The practice of meditation easily gets put in a box: “I will practice now, at this time, at this place and in this posture, and I will do this particular method.” But a method is simply an aide; it is not the experience itself. A hammer can help build a house but it is not the house. There is no doubt that through practice we can release stress and feel wonderfully peaceful, but genuine meditation is about waking up, where the mind is clear and free of obscuration.

This is not a mental process but an experiential one as meditation is an opening, a release of ego identity when all attempts to meditate, all striving, all doing stops, when there is no past or future, just radiant emptiness. It is being present – fully aware and present in every moment — and we can do that whatever we are doing and wherever we are. It is the freedom to be fully oneself without limitations or ideologies – there is just this.

Deb’s father, Richard, was on a Zen retreat where he was taught to temper his sensuality, not to give in to his senses or think of sensual things but to stay focused and single minded. While walking in the garden he then came across a pond laden with happily fornicating frogs. We think meditation has to be something special but true meditation is opening and expanding our perception, as if seeing with new eyes.

The technique becomes redundant when meditation becomes our natural state. It doesn’t matter what the technique is — when we drive to Rome the car is necessary but when we get there it is immaterial – what matters is the attitude and awareness that we bring to practice. The teacher is also more important than the technique. They must be skillful, peaceful and clear, regardless of the method or tradition they are teaching.

The moon trusts that the world will continue to go round on its axis, birds trust there will be berries and seeds to eat, trees trust the seasons will follow in the right order. Until we trust that things will unfold naturally then we are slaves to our doubts, fears and neurosis, to the constant chatter in our heads that says we are useless and don’t know anything. But we don’t make the sun to rise or set. The planet is in orbit and neither we nor Jesus or Buddha or any of the wise ones run the show. Our job is simply to surrender to the moment.

Technorati Tags: Happiness, inspiration, love, Meditation, Motivation, personal development, Personal Growth, self help, self-discovery, Spirituality

We recently went into escrow on our house, but don’t yet have a new house to move into. As excited as we are about our move (just across the San Francisco Bay from Concord to Marin County), it feels pretty scary to not yet know exactly where we’ll be living next month.

With this big change and a few others coming soon, I’ve been noticing how I deal with and relate to change. I have somewhat of a love/hate relationship to change. I love the excitement, growth opportunity, and newness of change. But, at the same time, I can easily fall into states of worry, fear, and overwhelm when facing change, especially big ones.

How do you feel about change? While it may depend on the specific change (i.e. one we want versus one we don’t want, or one that seems exciting versus one that seems hard or even “bad.”), most of us seek and fear change simultaneously. Even positive changes can be unsettling or even downright upsetting. And, while each of us has a unique personality and perspective, many of us tend to be creatures of habit.

Change is one of the main “constants” in life, ironically. However, we don’t usually spend all that much time thinking about our relationship to change or specifically expanding on our ability to adapt to change – we usually deal with it from a place of survival, reaction, or necessity.

What if we embraced change more consciously and learned how to not only “manage” it, but thrive through it. Whether you’re someone who enjoys change and handles it quite well, or you hate it and get totally stressed out by it, all of us can benefit from embracing change more deliberately and supporting those around us as we all go through the big and small changes of life – especially these days.

Here are some things you can do and think about as you deal with change in your own life – so as to more effectively and peacefully deal with it when it shows up.

1) Become consciously aware of your relationship to change. Knowing how you deal with change, what stresses you out about it, what allows you to navigate it most effectively, what kind of support you need as you move through the change process, and more, are all important elements of embracing change. It’s rarely the circumstances themselves that cause us stress or difficulty; it’s our relationship to them. By altering our relationship to change, we can become much more peaceful and successful in dealing with it.

2) Acknowledge and express your true feelings (especially your fear). When change occurs, there are usually a number of different emotions we experience. We tend to focus most of our attention on the details, specifics, and circumstances, not so much on our emotions. However, it is our emotional experience and reaction that dictates much of our effectiveness (or lack thereof) in dealing with change. Whether it’s something we consider “good” or “bad,” fear is almost always associated with change, because we’re moving into something unknown and often uncomfortable. By acknowledging and expressing our fear (and other emotions) in an authentic way, we can take back our power from the situation, get real about how we’re feeling, and move through it with more ease and grace. There’s nothing wrong with any of the emotions we experience during change, the problems begin to arise when we don’t express our emotions authentically.

3) Get support. As with most things in life, change is much easier to deal with when we get help. We don’t have to go through it all alone and there are probably many people in our lives who have gone through similar changes before and can support us in the process. Asking for and receiving help from other people can be challenging for many of us and can feel quite vulnerable. However, one of my favorite sayings is, “The answer’s always ‘no’ if you don’t ask.” Getting support not only makes dealing with change easier for us, it allows other people to be of service, which is something most people love to have the opportunity to do in life.

4) Look for the gold. There is “gold’ in the midst of every change – even the most painful and difficult ones. When change is more “positive,” it can seem easier to find the gold in it. However, positive change can also be tricky because we don’t understand why we still may experience fear or discontent and sometimes won’t acknowledge these and other feelings due to our own embarrassment. With change that is more “negative,” it can often be hard to find or see the gold. When dealing with difficult changes in our lives, being able to authentically get in touch with the gifts, blessings, and growth opportunities available to us can help as we navigate our way through the experience and also allow us to evolve in the process.

Have empathy and compassion for yourself and others in going through change. It’s not easy for most of us. By embracing change we become not only more effective in dealing with it, but more peaceful, present, and powerful in our lives.

Technorati Tags: appreciation, authenticity, Change, gratitude, inspiration, Mike Robbins, Motivation, self help, transition

We need a positive motivation towards our goal but sometimes we need a negative motivation that reminds us of the consequences of inaction. The most functional motivation for change and growth is motivation that is derived from a clear goal or aspiration; this is the positive driver, reinforced by a clear perception of the negative results from doing nothing and maintaining the status quo.

NLP questioning/interviewing processes can help you be clear about your desired outcome, harness the resources you possess or discover the ones you will need to achieve your desired goal. When you know the goal is the one you really want and is congruent with your values and beliefs, you will naturally find your motivation increases. When you use your strengths and resources you will take actions that move you in the direction of your desired outcome further reinforcing your motivation to succeed.

The hypnotic state can be very powerful in helping you. Under the guidance of a professional and skilled hypnotherapist you can uncover your true motivation. Sometimes we have unconscious drivers that hold us back. Sometimes these limiting beliefs are established in our youth by being exposed to negative attitudes or traumatic events. Under the careful guidance of a skilled and caring professional who understand both NLP and non script driven personal hypnotherapy you can safely explore these unconscious motivators and change them. Mostly though, our lack of motivation is not rooted deep in our past but generated by habit of mind. If we have over the years developed an overly pessimistic view of ourselves, the world and events, it can be very easy to justify inaction based on our frame of reference.

Hypnotherapy develops a very comfortable state of mind where self limiting beliefs can be changed and positive yet realistic beliefs and strategies can be absorbed.

NLP questioning and strategies combined with hypnosis has the power to increase and develop your motivation. Motivations that will help you experience tasks large and small differently and more positively so that you begin to live the life you are capable of.

Technorati Tags: hypnotherapy, Motivation, NLP

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. — John Lennon

It is one of life’s greatest ironies that, no matter how much we want to be different, wherever we go there we are. There’s just no getting away from ourselves. Go on holiday – there we are. Win the lottery – there we are. Move overseas – there we are. Wherever we look, we are looking out of the same pair of eyes; whatever we do it’s still the same body doing it.

In the attempt to get away from being with ourselves we search for something or someone to make us happy: the grass constantly appears greener someplace else. But in every relationship and every situation… there we are again.

Meantime, our mind is like a drunken monkey doing its best to distract us by jumping from thought to fear to drama to anything that will keep us trapped in an endless round of worries and concerns… “What if this happens… what if I will fail… if only it could be like it was in the past… what will the future be like… I have to to get to a psychic for help…”

We are like a musk deer that has a wonderful smell in its belly yet searches the forest for that smell. Wherever it goes, there’s the smell – but the deer can’t see it so has no idea where the smell is to be found. In the same way, we believe happiness is somewhere –anywhere—other than here, and spend all our time looking for it, without realizing it is already with us.

If you aren’t in the moment, 
you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret. — Jim Carrey

All we have to do is stop, just stop. For right now this very moment is all there is. Nothing else is going on. Nothing else is happening. There’s nowhere to go. And being right here with ourselves is exactly where we want to be, because when we are fully here this moment becomes the most precious, delightful, enjoyable and outrageous moment there is.

It is immensely liberating to realize that nothing more is required of us than to just be fully here now. What a relief! Finally, we can really experience this reality just as it is, without expectation, prejudice, or longing. Someone once asked Ed if he had ever experienced another dimension. He replied, “Have you ever experienced this one?” Have you noticed the dew on a spider’s web, the taste of honey, or your own heartbeat?

Life is now. 
There was never a time when your life was not now,
 nor will there ever be. — Eckhart Tolle

When we are fully present, the world in which we live becomes extraordinary, as if being seen and heard and touched for the first time, for we are without preconceived ideas or desires. There is just the experience. Like a child making the unknown known, we are simply with what is, while also impelled to know it more intimately, to explore and understand, even to become it.

Such presence defies our limited understanding of the world; it takes us out of the logical rational mind and into a place of just being, without judgment or idea of what should be. Stepping out of the thinking and conceptual mind, however, doesn’t mean stepping into nowhere or nothing; it doesn’t mean that there is no connection to a worldly reality. We do not become disconnected or cast adrift. Rather, it is stepping into sanity and, more importantly, into even greater connectedness.

As evolution does not go backwards, so life can never be the way it was. Being in the moment means having the courage to know we will never be someone other than who we are and that who we are is absolutely wonderful, just as we are. Simply being still in this moment, without attachment to or thought of before or after invites a deep sense of completion, that there really is nowhere else we need to go. It is impossible to think of somewhere else as being better—the grass is vividly green exactly where we are.

Yesterday is history.
 Tomorrow is a mystery.
 Today is a gift.
 That is why it is called the Present. — Anonymous

Technorati Tags: Energy Healing, gratitude, Happiness, Health, inspiration, Meditation, Motivation, oneness in action, personal development, self help, Spiritual Guidance, Spirituality