Life and business partners, Jon Satin and Chris Pattay are known as the Possibility Coaches who have been together for 25 years and have simultaneously worked together for that same quarter of a century.
They relate that “It takes a lot of mutual respect and cooperation to keep things going and keep things balanced.” It is important to them to be aware of when they feel out of balance since it can be challenging in the midst of a successful coaching, writing and teaching business to keep home life sane and stable. As one who for 12 years was married to her business partner, I can attest to that. Michael and I were not always graceful in doing so when we lived together, played together, published a magazine, taught workshops, raised a child and rode the waves of the illness that ultimately ended his life. I admire any couple who is able to ride them without getting swept under by the current.
Chris and Jon emphatically state that a healthy relationship is one built on mutual respect and consideration for each other. Communication of feelings is essential, since it is so easy for resentments to fester and create unnecessary challenges.
They feel that there is a fantasy many of us hold of a knight in shining armor who comes to save us, when in fact, we are our own heroes. “Its only ever about a relationship with yourself.” That is at the core of any dynamic interaction with another and yet, we shy away from embracing ourselves as we desire to embrace others. A work in progress for many, including me.
There is, they say “a great misperception that happiness is something outside of ourselves.” and so we go on a search for the ideal partner to fulfill us, when in fact, we are already whole and complete and the presence of another simply enhances our lives. Along with that is an illusion that relationships are 50/50, when the truth is that they are at their best when each person gives 100% of themselves to that third entity, whether it is interaction between parent and child, friends, co-workers or romantic partners. The willingness to be a generous giver and gracious receiver are part of a delicious recipe for sustainable relationships, as they say that “all relationships are a balance of giving and receiving.”
Jon and Chris wholeheartedly contend that there is a “gift that comes with sharing unconditional love in the face of challenges and someone is pushing your buttons.” We laughed as we acknowledged that those closest to us have access to our buttons as we allow them to.
Forgiveness and self love are crucial in the healing of relationships. They share: “When one of us forgives, everyone in the room feels it. When you forgive someone, you are releasing the stuck energy.” Last week, the three of us co-led a workshop called Creating Healthy and Fulfilling Relationships and one of the most powerful exercises we did was around that subject of forgiveness. We often carry resentments, anger, shoulda woulda coulda, what if and if only thoughts as if they are a bag of rocks that we have not put down, for a lifetime, or if you believe in reincarnation, many lifetimes, since after all, they are our rocks and we have earned every single one of them. What happens when we are willing to let them go, is nothing short of miraculous.
My favorite take-away from our interview is this one, that I will recall in the face of any doubt:
“Your heart will never lie. It will always speak the truth.”
Listen to your heart and this interview on www.vividlife.me