Tag

It’s All About Relationships

Goddess: Music Review

The story of a relationship. The sparks of new love. The journey taken with its twists and turns, pains and pleasures, separation and reunion. Musical interludes that evoke knowing smiles and wracking tears. This is the essence of Goddess, which is the co-creation of husband and wife musical team known as Lyra Project. Debra Lee and Rick Denzien are multi-instrumentalists whose voices compliment each other beautifully. At turns folky and charming, as well as bluesy and wailing, their shared talent needs to be offered from the ‘big stage’. As it is, they are well known on the East Coast and have taken it on the road in their electric car that they ‘fuel up’ at charging stations wherever they go. Their commitment to right livelihood work and the environment makes what they create all the more impactful.

Common Theme expresses the anger inherent in a relationship in which one party feels slighted. The singer wishes that her partner realize what he is about to lose.
Ordinary Girl offers an image of a woman who sees beyond the mundane and reminds the man in her life that she and the life they can live is extraordinary.
God Put a Smile Upon Your Face is a cover of a well known Coldplay song.

Goodbye Misery tosses out the pain of uncertainty, “So many voices inside, it’s hard to know what’s true.”

Good Kinda Crazy is by far the sweetest piece that begins with the image of sleeping in her lover’s shirt. “After each kiss, I push rewind. You make me feel the good kinda crazy.”

Could Have Left a Note asks for the heads up that something was amiss before walking out the door.
Find My Way invites parting the clouds and seeing one’s way through to clarity and the courage it takes to walk the relationship path.
Patiently Waits invites time to contemplate choices before making a regrettable one.

Love Slip By acknowledges full emotional range and begs retaining what can be salvaged. “A higher love is always near. Don’t let the love slip by.”
Please Don’t reminds the lovers that hearts and lives are fragile and need to be handled with care.

Only You is my favorite on the CD, in part because it is the theme song for my show It’s All About Relationships but also because it challenges both people to be true to what they choose to make of the union.

Goddess is a sultry and seductive piece that honors the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine.

The happy ending of the CD mirrors the love that these two share.

December 15, 2015 0 comment

Spirituality

Dan Millman At Celebrate Your Life

written by Edie Weinstein

In 1990, I had the joy of interviewing Dan Millman; best known as the author of Way of the Peaceful Warrior. The article ran in Visions Magazine. Published in 1980, the best seller launched the young gymnast, coach and author’s career. I gladly share excerpts from our time together and then offer you a doorway into what Dan has been up to in the interceding years. He is one of the featured speakers at the Celebrate Your Life Conference which will be held from November 6-9 in Phoenix, Arizona.

Dan and his daughter, Sierra were guests on my show called It’s All About Relationship in 2015. His straight from the heart approach to transformation makes him a favorite at Celebrate Your Life.

Visions: What experiences or inner processes brought you to write Way of the Peaceful Warrior?

Dan: The freeing from illusion that I went through in the athletic realm helped me to realize that learning more flips wasn’t going to improve my life. When I realized that, I began to expand that scope of my experience into the spiritual realm. At the same time I realized that my western education of history, math and science as useful as it was going to be in a functional sense wasn’t going to make me a happier or more fulfilled person. In fact, I want to remind people that the best thing about going to college is that you find out that it isn’t going to make you happy. The same thing with getting married or having children, or finding the right job. All those things are useful in the conventional sense, but they don’t make you happy. I began to see that and seek from the eastern traditions into the western traditions, from the outer to the inner. That was a long process that brought me through a place of complexity to a place of simplicity where I’ve been residing for recently.

Visions: The Way of the Peaceful Warrior is a light and refreshing and has an intuitional quality about it. Can you tell us what aspects of yourself or your soul and spirit are in that book?

Dan: Well, being a Pisces I haven’t really known or planned clearly what I was going to do ahead of time. I didn’t know why I loved gymnastics so much, or what the ultimate purpose of learning it was. But, I’ve always wanted to do something for people. I had this feeling even before I could articulate it. That’s what was meaningful for me, not just what I could achieve on an individual basis. I only rediscovered that after going through very self-centered stages, which I have no judgments for. They were just part of the process at the time. So even in gymnastics, I wanted to inspire people. I was an exciting performer to watch because I really shared something with the people who were watching. In the same way, writing the book wasn’t a strategic kind of activity. As I started gathering material, I felt I had a new way of expressing some things that I hadn’t before. Over time, this material became the book. It is based on an old man I met in a gas station, roughly the way I described it. There have also been many different teachers including what would be called my Higher Self that have influenced the content of the book. I’m not a writer and teacher because I’m smarter than other people, or more spiritual. I don’t claim to be. But I’ve found this gift for sharing some complex issues in a way that’s practical, simple and down to earth. That’s why I continue to write and teach.

Visions: Within the context of Joseph Campbell’s archetypes and heroes, who would you say the Peaceful Warrior is in all of us?

Dan: Only recently have I begun studying Joseph Campbell’s translation of mythic images in humanity and I was delighted to see that the story certainly was the Hero’s Journey. Now, I wrote this before Star Wars or Indiana Jones, using a hero character that was totally intuitive and not based on any study of mythology. We are all going through the Hero’s Journey and that’s what makes it significant. I’ve described Peaceful Warrior as an abstract painting in which everyone sees their own truth.

Visions: In the closing of the book you state: “When you’re comfortable, the light will disturb you and when you are disturbed the light will comfort you.” What would you say to those who might be feeling their first inner disturbances and urgings to grow further in their lives?

Dan: In my office where I see people for individual life readings, there is a picture of a man jumping over a canyon and underneath it is a quote: “Sometimes when we feel like we’re stagnating, vegetating or even slipping backwards, what we are really doing is backing up to get a running start.” I like to point out that if we wanted to lift weights to grow stronger and we didn’t lift enough weights, we wouldn’t get much stronger. Life or Spirit will expand our reference points. Whether it’s divorce, marriage, death or accident, it shakes us UP in the sense that it lets us question again “Who am I? What is life really about?” These times aren’t always pleasant, but in the long run, they’re spiritual weight lifting, or a profound form of training to strengthen our spirit.

Since the time of the interview, Dan has continued to travel, teach and write. He has penned 15 more books and has produced 14 programs that help people to stretch beyond self-imposed limitation.

Dan will be offering these two sessions at Celebrate Your Life. I look forward to seeing him and YOU there!

PEACEFUL HEART, WARRIOR SPIRIT: Living with Courage and Compassion

As depicted in Dan Millman’s perennial best-selling book, Way of the Peaceful Warrior, and in the film version, he meets a mysterious old service station attendant named ‘Socrates,’ and Dan’s life changes forever. In Dan’s workshop, you’ll discover why each of us is a peaceful warrior in training. You’ll learn:

refreshing reminders about wellness and healing, breath and relaxation, and the nature of reality
how to overcome fear and self-doubt
a radically different approach to living — with your head in the clouds and feet on the ground.

THE POWER OF MINDFULNESS and the Most Important Practice of All

Like few others, Dan brings clarity to the popular term and idea of ‘mindfulness’ and how to enjoy it in everyday life. Through a blend of humorous stories and illuminating insights, Dan shows how you can experience the same mystical state of awareness found in world class athletes, musicians, and others absorbed in the ‘moment of silence, the moment of truth.’ Learn why time flies when we’re having fun; how to simplify and deepen your life. His presentation ends with a revealing story about how you can enjoy the ‘most important practice of all.’

October 5, 2015 0 comment

•-Feature Family & Relationships Spirituality

Whisper Of Love

written by Edie Weinstein

I first met Daved (yes, that is how it is spelled) Beck through the marvels of modern technology and the phenom of Facebook. We finally met face to face and heart to heart at my office away from home called The Zen Den and we laughed at the sense of familiarity and the perfection of the locale for the conversation that was about to unfold. Right away I felt ‘Dave-d”. As you listen to our conversation, you will feel that way too.

Whisper of love is about tapping into and trusting our intuition and the journey we are all on. “The whisper of love, peace, harmony and unity, the whisper of fear which is anxiety, control and anger”, are both parts of our lives. We choose which to attend to. I have found that the messages that come through Spirit are invigorating; whether they are connected with songs on the radio, animal messengers who show up bidden or unbidden, people who ‘answer’ our invitations.

Attachments are part and parcel of that which Eckhart Tolle refers to as ‘the pain body.’ Daved says “We are the creators of whatever it shall be. With the body, everything is movement and energy.” He is all about the idea of ‘can’…as in yes you can do whatever you set your mind and heart to.

A thriver, Daved admits “I could have been another statistic,” given his history. He sees himself as a “shy, inner kid who would occasionally bust out and spin around, and sing out “Wonder Woman!” since he craved a mother like that who would protect him when instead he was abused by his mother. As a result, he endured bullying. He made a vow that he would never treat anyone that way and encourages people to embrace that out of the box aspect of themselves.

We spoke about the ‘cosmic coincidence’ of Daved having some information about my mother who passed in 2010 that he would have no way of knowing other than if Spirit had whispered in his ear. He used to hold back sharing messages but these days he is much more willing to share his Soul’s guidance as it is whispered in his ear.

Daved Beck is a gifted Psychic Medium/Certified Life Coach and Published Author. With over 20 years of experience, he works with people to connect with the whisper by unblocking emotional fear in the transformation of one.

He has a charismatic personality that immediately puts anyone who comes in contact with him at ease. Daved has been a featured guest and co-host on various national and international radio and TV shows. In 2012, Daved was voted by the public and honored by being registered and named one of the “Best and Most Trusted Psychics, Mediums and Healers in the World”. www.davedbeck.com

LISTEN IN AND LOVE IT!!!

October 1, 2013 0 comment

Family & Relationships

Talking Back To Dr. Phil

written by Edie Weinstein

Talking Back to Dr. Phil: Alternatives to Mainstream Psychology

The familiar bald pate peeks out from the bottom of the cover, inviting the reader to enter two minds simultaneously; that of the iconic tv talk psychologist, Dr. Phil McGraw and author David Bedrick who is the practitioner of a therapeutic modality called Process Work. Bedrick’s book: Talking Back to Dr. Phil: Alternatives To Mainstream Psychology, fascinated me for several reasons. The first is that it challenges the typical, albeit well meaning methodology that is often offered in the psychological community in which I have been a therapist for 30 years. The second is that he incorporates many interventions that I use with my clients. The third is that I too, talk back to the esteemed doctor when on the elliptical at the gym, as did Bedrick which sparked him to write this useful guide.

We had a conversation last Thursday night May 16th at 8pm est on It’s All About Relationships on Vivid Life Radio and the first thing I clarified was my sense that this book is not about dissing Dr. Phil, but rather an attempt to offer another lens through which to view the issues that are raised on the show. I pointed out that it can be incredibly challenging to resolve the therapeutic and glorify the sometimes sensationalistic on the same stage in less than an hour, counting commercial breaks. There is no quick and easy answer to the baggage that the guests bring with them that encompass relationships, abuse, addiction, infidelity, depression, suicidality, financial hardship, caregiver issues and the like. In each chapter, Bedrick raises a topic, and then explains the ways in which it was addressed on air and then shares his own insights.

In this animated interview, Bedrick spoke of his ‘love based psychology’ as a helpful interventive tool and said that “something wants to emerge in us,” when we manifest disturbance and in that “there is some seed and the problem could look like a gift.”

Listen in to the first half of our conversation in its archived form. www.vividlife.me The second half will air September 5th.

www.davidbedrick.com

www.talkingbacktodrphil.com

David is also a Vivid Life Blogger http://vividlife.me/ultimate/31734/shame-the-master-emotion/

May 23, 2013 0 comment

•-Feature Spirituality

To Be Continued

written by Edie Weinstein

What if you could discover answers about the mysteries of “The why’s of the Universe,” such as why we attract certain people or experiences into our lives? My interview with Karen Berg, provides cogent, heartfelt concepts that are challenging of many beliefs we might hold. Her own life events that pulled the rug out from under her, were fodder for the work she does now. We share the belief that when that occurs, it is indeed possible to pick ourselves up and become resilient thrivers. Some of the ideas in the book are controversial and thought provoking; such as karma balancing choices in previous incarnations, that may seem horrific and have people questioning “How could God let this happen?” Reincarnation comes into play when we leave things undone from past lives.

KAREN BERG, author of TO BE CONTINUED…Reincarnation and the Purpose of Our Lives, is the spiritual director of Kabbalah Centre International and a globally respected teacher of Kabbalah who has touched millions of lives around the world. Her goal is to provide people with spiritual tools based on Kabbalistic principles that can be applied to improve their lives, regardless of their religious beliefs, and by doing so, make the world better.

She is the founder of Spirituality for Kids, a free on-line program that provides spiritual lessons for children – helping them develop a sense of purpose so they can make better choices; and Kids Creating Peace, the initiative that teaches spiritual skills to children who are caught in war-torn areas of the Middle East. She is author of God Wears Lipstick: Kabbalah for Women, and Simple Light, a collection of insights on Kabbalah. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband Rav Berg.

Kabbalah means “to receive” What she says is that “When you do something that gives something to someone else, you receive fulfillment. Kabbalah offers “tools by which we learn how to practice and use in life; how to apply them to our lives through discipline, love and care.” She spoke of the idea that when we love a child, we sometimes give too much, without the balance of appreciation for what is received. Sometimes excessive giving becomes enabling and then crippling.

Wonderful bits of wisdom were scattered throughout our lively conversation, filled with knowing laughter. “In the Creator, there is no such thing as lack.” “In the painting, there is part of the painter that painted it.” She expressed: “I don’t believe there is such a thing as random. Coincidence means ‘joining incidents’. The light we were given at birth will go back to the Creator. It is a question of when.” She likened lifetimes to movie scripts that we can always rewrite. Every human being has many choices. We determine what our way will be.” We explored the ideas of ‘young souls’ and ‘old souls’, angelic guidance, finding our purpose, learning life lessons, and whether relationships are choice or chance.

We can find a higher meaning in struggle, despite the pain that ensues. As a result of challenges, Karen and I agreed that the places we have arrived would not have been possible had we not experienced the life altering event. At any moment, re-defining our purpose changes the outcome.

Please listen to this mind, eye and heart opening interview and share it with friends.

See you on the other side~

To listen to Edie’s conversation with Kabbalah leader Karen Berg Click here!

May 13, 2013 0 comment

Spirituality

The Five Levels of Attachment

written by Edie Weinstein

Five Levels Of Attachment

Chances are, most people who are reading this article have a sense that their beliefs contribute to shaping their reality. Your brain is a wonderful problem solver, but not always the most adept Master. Imagine a day in which you have particular plans and you have already decided that you are going to be delighted by the end of it. All is well and good, until you find yourself in a traffic jam and begin to growl that you are going to be late getting there. Just to make things even more interesting, there is a detour you didn’t count on, you miss a turn, end up on a pot holed road, and your car falls into one of them, causing a flat tire and then….it begins to rain. “What else could possibly go wrong?” You discover that you never replaced the donut tire the last time you had to change a flat and you are stuck. Your entrenched and perhaps oft repeated belief is “These things always happen to me.” “I have the worst luck.” “Life is out to get me.” Pretty soon you may think you were ‘born under a bad sign’ and take on the identity of victim.

It is what we think we know that contributes to our beliefs and our actions follow suit. Do you really want to live this way, when there are other options available? We each experience what I call ‘spiritual amnesia’ which is forgetting that all is in alignment if we allow for it. Tranformation from what we thought was so, to what is possible is available in the form of a new book called The Five Levels of Attachment: Toltec Wisdom for the Modern World

The author don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. lives in the light of such awareness, part of a lineage of Toltec Masters of Transformation. The son of don Miguel Ruiz who is best known for writing one of the iconic texts of psycho-spiritual growth: The Four Agreements, he studied with his father and grandmother and then made his own way into the world, carrying what he learned like so many seeds to be scattered on the winds.

In his book, he explains that attachments form from beliefs and then turn into our chosen identity. Unless we are aware of that pattern, we may go through life on auto pilot, at the whim and mercy of circumstances. I invite you take a look at the Five Levels to determine if they seem familiar in terms of your own world view.

Level One: The Authentic Self

We are living beings regardless of our knowledge, which exists only because we exist. The Authentic Self is a name given to that living being that is the full potential of life. It is the name that describes the force that not only animates our body, but also gives life to our mind and our soul. The Authentic Self is always present, and it is only our attachment that keeps us from remembering this is who we really are.

Level Two: Preference

We use knowledge as the tool by which we engage our preferences in life. At the second level of attachment, we move with the awareness of the Authentic Self and recognize our ability to invest ourselves in something the form of an attachment as we engage in the present moment. We are still able to let go of the attachment when the moment has passed. Seeing ourselves as a reflection of life in the Dream of the Planet, we attach ourselves with ease, and detachment is simply recognizing and letting go of that reflection.

Level Three: Identity

We identify myself with our knowledge; we use it to see and understand the world. Identity is the grounding sense of self that allows us to have our place in the Dream of the Planet, giving us a point of reference by which we engage other people. But this identity is a mask that blurs our awareness of the Authentic Self, and attachment at this level means we identify ourselves with our knowledge and forget that it is a mask.

Level Four: Internalization

Our identity, in the form of knowledge, gives us the rules and guidelines by which we live our lives. In the Toltec tradition, this is known as Domestication. This level of attachment to knowledge means our identity has become the model by which we accept ourselves. Our sense of self comes directly from our beliefs. Our will is subjugated by the need to fit in with our Personal Dream and the Dream of the Planet, and though our mask may not be in the form of our passion, we will wear whatever mask we think we need to be accepted.

Level Five: Fantaticism

Our knowledge controls our every action. We hold beliefs as more important than human life. Fanaticism describes a rigid attachment to knowledge with an excessive intolerance of opposing views. Anything that contradicts or puts into question a fanatic’s beliefs is a direct threat—and they will defend the belief at any cost. Prejudice, intolerance, and violence are the instruments by which the belief is imposed onto the Dream of the Planet.

Today I had the perfect opportunity to practice the concepts in the book. There were a few situations over which I had absolutely no control. I set intention, did the necessary leg worka and then needed to surrender outcome. My watch phrase for the day was “the event will go as the event will go.” I walked into my day job as an addictions counselor and wrote that word on the white board in the group room in big letters SURRENDER and then we spoke about its meaning in our lives. Surrender doesn’t mean giving up, but rather, giving over. I have come to think of addictions as attachments that sink their claws into us. How often are we attached to outcomes, people and experiences? Only every day? How do we relinquish them and find our way to freedom? Listen in to my interview on It’s All About Relationships, with don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. this Thursday April 4th at 8pm est on Vivid Life Radio. www.vividlife.me

ruizsmiling

www.miguelruizjr.com

April 3, 2013 2 comments

Family & Relationships

Talk To Me Like I’m Someone You Love

written by Edie Weinstein

What would it be like to have a handy dandy guide to getting out of trouble quickly when in the midst of a head butting conversation with your sweetie? Even in the healthiest and most loving relationships, conflicts can ensue. You know you want to be all cozy and cuddly, but you just can’t seem to get through the impasse. Enter Talk To Me Like I’m Someone You Love: Relationship Repair In A Flash, penned by veteran therapist Nancy Dreyfus, Psy.D

The idea for the book came to be when in a session with a couple, Dreyfus found herself experiencing the bane of many a seasoned counselor, known as counter-transference. It began to feel like she was re-living the dynamics of her family of origin during which her mother would harangue her father. In a flash, she scribbled the 8 words that became the book’s primary title, handed it to the man and whispered for him to hold it up to his wife who, at that moment, was berating him. It was as if time stood still and their interaction shifted to one that was more healing.

She describes what to me sounds like a miracle: ” I haven’t been very nice, have I?….You deserve better from me.” The husband sat straighter in his chair, embodying the self-respect his message carried. He didn’t quite smile at her yet, but when he looked his wife in the eye, for the first time I had ever seen, it was without fear. Within minutes, the ancient power differential between the partners shifted, and a realer, gentler, and strikingly more mutual connection began emerging in front of everyone’s eyes.”

Over the course of the next two decades, this book took shape and Dreyfus’ accumulated wisdom, gleaned from work with other couples, is now in what I think of as an essential book for couples and should be on the reading list for those in undergrad or grad school, persuing any type of mental health degree, on the shelf in counseling offices, as it is in mine, and perhaps even given as wedding gifts. There are more than 100 ‘flashcard’ messages that can move through the heart of the matter in nearly every potential conflict, as well as Dreyfus’ commentary on each subject. These include:

“When you go on and on like that, I feel invisible to you.”

“Even though I’ve been arguing my position like a crazy person, I can see where your point of view makes sense.”

“What can I say that would make you feel understood?”

“I’m sorry if I acted like mine was the only reality.”

“I treasure you.”

The value in the book goes beyond the words themselves to the way in which it is to be used. In her practice, Dreyfus has discovered that vocalizing words can carry an emotional charge that simply reading them does not. There is no voice intonation, no chance to misinterpret when words are read and not said. Granted, it is not the same as sitting in the presence of this gifted therapist, but it is the next best thing to having her in your home.

I love the attitude Dreyfus speaks about with regard to the value of an open heart vs. a closed heart. She writes, “the only difference between an open heart and a closed one is that an open heart has opened only one more time than it’s closed…..only one more time.” This poignant and powerful book will ensure that hearts in your house will open much more quickly.

www.nancydreyfus.com

Nancy will be my guest on It’s All About Relationships next Thursday March 28th at 8pm est. Sit with us around the kitchen table. www.vividlife.me

March 25, 2013 0 comment

Uncategorized

Divine Sexuality-The Joy of Tantra by Edie Weinstein

written by Edie Weinstein

When you hear the word tantra, what images or thoughts come to mind? For some, it is the Kama Sutra, which according to www.thefreedictionary.com is ” A Sanskrit treatise setting forth rules for sensuous and sensual pleasure, love, and marriage in accordance with Hindu law.” At its core, tantra which I have seen defined as “expansive weaving” (as on a loom) is about our connection with Spirit; not just as a means of heightened sexual pleasure, but perhaps enlightened sexual pleasure. It is, I have discovered myself since I dipped my toes (and other body parts) into it in 2004, a way of making love with the Divine in all aspects of my life, not just in the bedroom.

My introduction occurred at a weekend workshop I attended following being widowed 5 years earlier. I had been celibate by choice, for many reasons, some having to do with re-calibrating my body, heart and soul to prepare for opening again after a loving and sometimes tumultuous marriage, illness and subsequent death of my husband. I had been vaguely familiar with the concepts of yoga, meditation, the chakra system, breathwork, mantra and kirtan. Little did I know the massive changes that would rock my world when I learned about what author and tantra teacher Mahasatvaa Ma Ananda Sarita, Ph.D author of Divine Sexuality-The Joy of Tantra refers to as “an alchemical transformation of our being.” Once the energies were unleashed, I experienced what is known as a ‘spontaneous kundalini awakening’; feeling as if all of the chakras were blown wide open and for 8 months afterward, had difficulty figuratively keeping my feet on terra firma. I remember speaking with friends about what I was going through and the suggestions ranged from drinking more water, walking barefoot, sitting on a rock and sending energy into it, to doing more yoga and having more sex. “That’s what got me into this in the first place,” I half-heartedly wailed with a not-so-secret smile on my face.

I wish I had had Sarita’s book back then, since it is a thorough compendium of the physical, emotional, spiritual and developmental aspects of tantra. Well researched; it doesn’t dance on the surface. Beautifully lush images of lovemaking embellish the pages, but it is not even remotely ‘soft porn’; rather it is art of the heart. She covers a wide range of subjects including honoring ourselves as the physical beings we are- men and women, as well as masculine and feminine energies, safe sex and contraception, creative coitus, rising in love, sensory awakening, aligning with the Divine, sexual dysfunction as well as sexuality through the life cycle. The pages seem to radiate with light and the texture is smooth to the touch; adding to the delight of reading.

Sarita was inspired to teach this ancient art after an encounter in Inida with a man who would become her guru. Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh) opened the door for her lifelong journey into tantra. For 36 years, this seasoned woman has danced on the path of love and loss, ecstacy and enlightment. She will be my next guest on It’s All About Relationships this Thursday March 14th from 8-9 pm on Vivid Life Radio. You are welcome to call in with your questions. 877-903-1396 is the number to speak with us.

To enjoy a teaser, please read the book review I wrote for Elephant Journal:

www.elephantjournal.com/2013/02/divine-sexuality-the-joy-of-tantra/

www.vividlife.me

March 12, 2013 1 comment

•-Feature Family & Relationships

The Soulmate Experience by Edie Weinstein

written by Edie Weinstein

Imagine having someone by your side who could be companion, playmate, confidante, lover, friend, most ardent cheerleader and the stone by which you polish yourself, smoothing away the sometimes hardened or rough edges. In this person’s presence, you are at your best and with them you can dare to bare your soul. Together you bring out the shadow side of each other and then consign it to the Light and you bring out the Highest in each other and celebrate it to the fullest. These are words that I wrote while in seminary and I use them in wedding ceremonies that I officiate. They could also describe my next guests on my Vivid Life Radio show: It’s All About Relationships. Mali Apple and Joe Dunn are the authors of the bestselling book called The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide To Creating Extraordinary Relationships. They discovered that in the course of the evolution of their relationship, they had something of value to offer to other singles and couples who wanted deep and true love. The two of them have wisdom to share about what it takes to arrive at the same place as a soulmate, by preparing for their arrival. Their take seems to be that it isn’t enough to want someone there to meet a need or fill a void. What they suggest is that you BE the one you are searching for, since as I like to say “No one will ever love you enough to make up for you not loving yourself.”

One of the things I most enjoy about their work is the unabashed enthusiasm they have for life and love and it is most definitely contagious. I had the pleasureable task of reading their book last year and interviewing them. It will be interesting to see if their answers have changed as their relationship has evolved.

“A soulmate is someone with whom we experience a profound connection on every level: physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual.”

“Do we have more than one? Yes—potentially, six billion! If we were all fully enlightened, we would recognize and live our soul connection with everyone on the planet. We would recognize that everyone is our soulmate.”

I had wondered if they had thought their relationship to be ‘beshert’ which is Hebrew for ‘meant to be’. ‘”The universe was not going to let us miss that we were “meant” to be together! As is always the case when we’re truly in tune with our soul’s path, the serendipitous events and moments were off the charts.” I am eager to hear what those cosmic coincidences were that had them knowing that things were divinely orchestrated.

I wonder sometimes, if there is a metaphsyical matchmaker in a room somewhere, on a computer (kind of like in the movie Bruce Almighty) and requests are coming in fast and furious for the love of one’s life. S/he sits back and takes a deep breath and begins to type in the coordinates, the who-what-when-where and then decides that the time is right for the appointed meeting. This scenario reminds me of one of my favorite movies called Made In Heaven in which four characters, played by Timothy Hutton and Kelly McGillis exist in two different lifetimes (the first time in Heaven and the second on Earth.) http://youtu.be/pH_JiuRYdgc and have the opportunity to meet the second time around.

I consider the various partners and lovers who have come my way and with whom I may share a dance for a short time or a lifetime and feel grateful to have crossed paths. Welcoming the One who will be in the latter category. I’m sure that by hearing from this loving couple whose ideas have sparked other’s relationships, I will learn something new as well.

Please join me each Thursday on It’s All About Relationships from 8-9 pm est on Vivid Life Radio. www.vividlife.me

March 4, 2013 0 comment

Health & Well-being

The Map To Love by Edie Weinstein

written by Edie Weinstein

Does love sometimes seem like a maze of tangles and brambles, with treacherous caves and deep sea trenches where sharks lurk waiting to grab unsuspecting swimmers? Do you dream instead of it being a garden of delights, with all manner of sensory stimulation in which you could be your most adventurous and intrepid self? Would a map of love-land be helpful? A guide for many in their personal and professional lives, Rob Jacoby has written a book entitled The Map To Love: How To Navigate The Art Of The Heart.

He refers to himself and his book in this way: “Psychotherapist, artist, survival instructor, and author Rob Jacoby draws upon all four areas of
his life and experience to offer us The Map to Love: How to Navigate the Art of the Heart, a life-giving perspective on love, fulfillment, healing, and successfully navigating the complex human emotional landscape. His twenty year career helping people from all walks of life, especially young people suffering from extreme emotional problems, gives this book its lived-in authority. His passion for creation, particularly music and painting, drives the spontaneity and rhythm of its prose and presentation. In collaboration with world renowned artist Brian MacGregor, the result is a visually and intellectually stunning masterpiece on the topic of LOVE.”

“The real question,” Jacoby poses is “Are you living in love?” Hmmmm. I would like to think that I am but there are certainly times in which I am feeling as if it is like the Emerald City at the end of the Yellow Brick Road that at first appears far away and then closer and then distances itself again and then disappears into the mist like Brigadoon. In between are the poppy fields that have me plunged into the sleep of forgetfulness. The truth is, that love itself doesn’t move….I do. I come close and then dance away, wondering if I am a graceful enough dance partner, fearing that I will metaphorically step on toes. I am much more of an improvisational dancer than I am ball room, salsa or zydeco. Such is it in relationships as well. Today as I was having lunch with two new friends, we were having this very conversation at my favorite office away from home called The Zen Den; aptly titled for such philosophical meanderings. All three of us are ‘seasoned women’ with a great deal of life experience behind us and still many exciting adventures before us. In relationship we pondered how we could be powerful without being overpowering and how we could allow men to ‘lead the dance’ and trust them enough to do it safely, since we have been so accustomed to being our own choreographers. Learning by doing seemed to be the answer. Testing the waters, as well as trusting ourselves and our own discernment to choose healthy partners who are doing their own personal growth and healing work. Loving ourselves enough to call into our lives those who love themselves as well.

In my upcoming interview with Rob who will be my guest on It’s All About Relationships on February 28th from 8-9 pm est, we will be exploring these concepts as well as the impact of positive psychology, authenticity and living in the moment. Tune in and tell your friends.

www.themaptolove.com

February 27, 2013 0 comment

•-Feature Family & Relationships

Musical Matchup by Edie Weinstein

written by Edie Weinstein

“At last, my love has come along……and life is like a song.”

This signature piece made famous by Etta James, was penned in 1941 by Mack Gordon and Harry Warren and could easily be the theme song for Rick Denzien and Debra Lee who collectively are Lyra Project. They will be my guests on It’s All About Relationships on February 21st, 2013. Being in their presence, one can feel the sometimes crackling with electricity, often playful and silly, alternating with ahhhh-serene flow energy. Such is the nature of their music as well. It seems as if the relationship itself is The Muse that follows them around throughout the day, whispering and, I imagine, often roaring in their individual and shared consciousness. Their home studio is a welcoming place, and it is where I recorded the intro and outro for the show and from where the theme song: Only You, was created. When I was considering the concept for the weekly show, Rick’s eyes lit up and he indicated that they had the perfect piece. I get goosebumps (which I call my ‘truth barometer’) each time I hear it.

They describe themselves as a couple who are “full-time musicians, songwriters and recording artists. Together they form a collaborative songwritig duo, Lyra Project, and have a new CD they call simply LP-1, with songs that create a sonic painting of romantic relationship at various stages.

LP-1 CD is a creative collaboration of songs that draw on the universal feelings all couples experience with each other in various stages of relationship. LP 1 songs result from an “energetic synergy” that express a wide range of emotions – from lust to heartbreak – the effect on listeners being uplifting, healing and empowering.

Rick and Debra draw on the personal experience of their many faceted and sometimes complicated relationship to create music.”

Complicated relationship. Hmmmm…I can relate to that concept, since I had one and still do, with my husband who ‘left the building’ a bit more that 14 years ago; as a result of Hepatitis C that ended his life in an ICU bed in Philadelphia. Michael and I created and published a magazine called Visions (1988-1998) which focused on holistic health, spirituality, transformation, as well as peace and social justice issues. It was where I forged my journalistic sensibilities and had the opportunity to interview movers and shakers in various fields and, truth be told, the experience planted the seeds that all these years later, have me on this side of the microphone, bringing the listening audience on Vivid Life Radio the folks who will be sharing their ideas and expertise about relationships. We met in 1986 in a series of cosmically coincidental events, during which I scheduled and then canceled a trip to Russia with other spiritual teachers and healers on a “Citizens’ Diplomacy Mission”, planned from October 12-25, so that Americans and Russians recognized our common heart instead of seeing ourselves as enemies. It was then that ‘the Voice’ came into my consciousness and clearly stated “You are not supposed to go to Russia, you are supposed to be in Philadelphia.” Huh? “But this is the trip of a lifetime. I will be spending my 26th birthday in the home-land of some of my ancestors.” and the Voice repeated. “But I don’t live in Philadelphia.” and the Voice repeated…and on it went, until I finally surrendered to the inevitability that it wasn’t about to let me go, so I let the trip go. On October 24 (the day before the trip was to end), I went to Philadelphia with friends to hear Ram Dass speak on the subject of Seva (Sanskrit for Selfless Service) and during the intermission, my artist/healer friend Ute Arnold approached me with a curly red haired and bearded man and said in her soft German accented voice “This is Michael Moser.” He held out his hand to shake mine. “He’s taking the workshop you’re giving in 2 weeks. It was called The Love Yourself Playshop and it was on the subject of self worth (the topic 14 years later of the debut show!) Had I gone to Russia, the workshop would have been about the trip and as such, Michael would not have attended, since it was off his radar. I greeted him, engaged in pleasantries and then trotted off to chat with other friends. When he told the story, he would say that his heart was pitter pattering and when I told the story, I said that it took two weeks for my heart to catch up. I was in a rather dysfunctional relationship at the time, that I was contemplating leaving, but not quite ready to take the leap.

Fast forward to the workshop setting in which we were sitting in a circle and I was talking about the importance of eye contact in communication and Michael, being a good student was perched in a chair, opposite me, leaning forward, blue eyes lasering in to mine. “Oh my,” I thought, sliding down in my own chair. Over the subsequent months, we spent more time together, deepening our relationship and on May 2, 1987 we were married, in a ceremony in Peace Valley Park in Doylestown, PA. The ritual was interfaith, hippie-esque with rainbow streamers on trees and on the pavillion where we had the reception. An interfaith minister friend officiated, friends serenaded us and unfortunately, the weather was a portent of things to come. It was chilly, damp, overcast, with gusty winds. Our guests wore winter coats over Spring clothes. My short sleeved, filmy gown and Michael’s white linen suit flapped in the breeze. Perusing the photo album, we and our family and friends laughed at the memories. What comes to me, from a distant perspective, is that just as we accomodated, adjusted and made the best of the conditions on that day, so too did we throughout our marriage that was filled with love and fraught with challenges; Michael’s health only one aspect. Since relationships are not 50/50, but rather, 100/100, with each person bringing all of themselves to the table, each is responsible for the creation or deterioration of the third entity of the relationship itself. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not talking about allowing for or excusing addictive or abusive behavior between the members of the couple. What I am saying is that in our interactions, Michael and I unpacked our history, attitudes, beliefs and actions; all that we knew how to do at the time. Sometimes it was healing, sometimes hurtful. I would often say that being in business together was the best and worst thing that happened to our marriage. I can look back at the younger people that we were back then who so wanted to love with all our hearts, who sometimes didn’t know how. It was that proverbial “If I knew then what I know now….” All these years later, I look at them with compassionate eyes. I know that is one of the reasons I am fascinated with how other couples make it work. It is also why I am eager to do this interview with Rick and Debra; partners in love and lyrics.

Listen in, Thursdays from 8-9pm est ….. www.vividlife.me

www.lyraproject.com

February 18, 2013 0 comment

•-Feature Family & Relationships

It’s All About Relationships by Edie Weinstein

written by Edie Weinstein

Human beings are relational creatures. We are born into tribes, families and groups. We go to schools with others, we play with peers as children and adults. Even those who prefer to be solitary, still need to interact with other planetary dwellers. When our hearts and minds are open to sharing who we are with those we encounter, we thrive. When they are shuttered as a result of fear, trauma, addiction, abuse, or plain and simple; poor role modeling, all manner of havoc breaks loose. Sometimes we are aware of our patterns and sometimes we are oblivious. That’s when it helps to have guides, mentors, therapists and teachers whose area of expertise is in the relationship realm.

Enter “It’s All About Relationships“; Vivid Life Radio’s latest show, debuting appropriately on Valentines’ Day. I’m the over the moon excited host of this weekly foray into the lush garden of heart to heart intertwining vines and vibrantly hued flowers. Airing from 8-9 pm est each Thursday night, it will highlight some of the most talented and wise movers and shakers in the field. Many have written books on the subject, each has a unique perspective to offer to our listeners. My first guest will be Christine Arylo, the author of Madly In Love With Me: The Daring Adventure of Becoming Your Own Best Friend. Going beyond self esteem, it touches on the deep and abiding relationship with the man or woman in the mirror. The day before our interview, she will be hosting The Self Love Concert www.selfloveconcert.com I encourage you to indugle in a double dip of Christine’s charming concepts that have the ability to counteract the often clamorous negative self talk that surrounds us.

This evening I was facilitating a support group for women in recovery from addictions and in preparation for the upcoming day that is generally only associated with love of another, we spoke about what constitutes self love and what gets in the way. Not surprisingly, they had more difficulty with the first part than the second. The limiting thoughts poured down like Niagra Falls while expression of amore took a bit of coaxing. I asked them a question that I often do and it had them scratching their heads and wondering what planet I hailed from. I queried “What if you knew that you were love incarnate?” I clarified by inquiring how they felt when their children were born. Each had the same answer, that their infants were ‘pure love’. I asked why then it would be any different for them. Because they had made choices that impacted on their lives and those they loved, then somehow they felt they were unworthy. Each has no problem with showering others with love, but put up big time resistance when it comes their way. I then used an analogy that I call Teflon Shield vs. Love Sponge. The purpose of Teflon is to be non-stick, so that food slides off and a sponge is meant to absorb and when it gets saturated needs to be wrung out. Too often, we have our shields up when it would benefit us to drink in and soak up the love and then share it with those in our lives. That they got. It wasn’t an easy sell, let me tell you. By the end of the evening, they still had their doubts, since they had so many years of indoctrination that told them they had to earn love and that it was a commodity to be traded for compliance, maintaining the status quo, offering caretaking, and self-sacrifice.

I then asked them to consider the concept that if indeed love was their true identity, then (like WWJD-What Would Jesus Do?), they could ask the question each day WWLD-What Would Love Do? And then do it. Listen in to the show and I can assure you that you will learn more than you ever imagined about this being whose purpose is to live the love that they are; that would be you.

One of my favorite songs that my mother would often sing to me is called Nature Boy; the chorus of which is “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.” Such a powerful reminder of our birthright.

Nature Boy by Nat King Cole

More Inspiration from Edie:

Barefoot In The Park by Edie Weinstein

There are some things I never imagined I would do, but necessity trumps protocol or sometimes even hygiene. The tale begins with an invitation to officiate at my first wedding in Central Park. Having been an ordained interfaith minister since 1999, the idea delighted me and felt a bit like a milestone event; maybe like singing at Carnegie Hall or kissing the Blarney Stone. The bride and groom are a lovely couple who I have known a short time; her best friend is a friend of mine. Since the ceremony was to be held outdoors with no Plan B, I put in my order for nice weather. Mother Nature gladly complied as the day dawned warm and sunny with a light breeze.

February 21, 2013 0 comment