READ: Fresh starts showcased in the film ‘Marigold Hotel’

“The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” (2011 production, 2012 release). Cast: Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Tom Wilkinson, Bill Nighy, Penelope Wilton, Ronald Pickup, Celia Imrie, Dev Patel, Tena Desae, Seema Azmi, Diana Hardcastle, Rajendra Gupta, Neena Kulkami, Lillette Dubey, Vishnu Sharma, Sid Makkar, Bhuvnesh Shetty. Director: John Madden. Screenplay: Ol Parker. Book: Deborah Maggoch, These Foolish Things. www.foxsearchlight.com/thebestexoticmarigoldhotel/

Facing the autumn of one’s life can be challenging in many ways. Coming to terms with the realities of having fewer, rather than more, years ahead, as well as the increasingly debilitating effects of age, are daunting enough. But what if the means to live out those remaining days in comfort are in peril, too? This combination of elements might seem deflating or overwhelming to some, but, with one’s independence, dignity and survival at stake, the more adventurous and innovative among us may elect to take some extraordinary, uncharacteristic or even drastic measures to make the most of those circumstances, as seen in the delightful new comedy, “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.”

With retirement looming, seven British seniors weigh their options for what lies ahead:

* For Evelyn Greenslade (Judi Dench), the golden years look a lot bleaker than she had once anticipated. The lifelong, recently widowed housewife is forced into selling her residence to pay a backlog of debts left by her deceased husband, saddling her with a very uncertain future.

* Retired housekeeper Muriel Donnelly (Maggie Smith) needs hip replacement surgery but faces a six-month wait unless she’s willing to try something a little more radical – not an easy decision for someone very set in her ways and her outlooks.

* Bored with his career and his life, Judge Graham Dashwood (Tom Wilkinson) can no longer continue with an existence that leaves him unsatisfied and longing for something more fulfilling. His search for genuine happiness clearly requires more than what his current routine can provide.

* Career civil servants Jean and Douglas Ainslie (Penelope Wilton, Bill Nighy) approach retirement community living with mixed feelings. Jean believes she deserves something better than what’s on offer and doesn’t hesitate to make her dissatisfaction known. Douglas, meanwhile, tries to assuage her, agreeing to pursue other options if doing so will help keep the peace in their increasingly precarious relationship.

* Spunky skirt-chaser Norman Cousins (Ronald Pickup) feels like a spry 40-something, even if his chronological odometer indicates otherwise. Nevertheless, how he feels, and how others react to his advances, such as the actual 40-somethings he tries to court, are two entirely different matters. Maybe it’s time for Norman to turn his attention elsewhere.

* Madge Hardcastle (Celia Imrie) loves her family, but she tires of the demands they regularly place on her time, such as frequent requests for babysitting her young grandchildren. As someone who wants to enjoy life more in her remaining years, she yearns to take off and be a free spirit while she can – something she just might do.

Given their prevailing circumstances, the retirees each decide they need to pursue alternate paths. In doing so, they all stumble upon advertising for what seems to be the perfect solution to their respective situations – the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel for the Elderly and Beautiful. The ads for this affordable but luxurious facility promise its guests grand accommodations in a classic setting in the lively, colorful Indian city of Jaipur. Everyone jumps at the opportunity, making reservations to move into this elegant pleasure palace. But there’s just one catch: the hotel is nothing like what’s in its promotional materials. In fact, the decrepit structure is not far from collapsing, its walls propped up by assorted forms of jerry-rigging and the infectious, if sometimes-unrealistic enthusiasm of hotelier Sonny Kapoor (Dev Patel).

Sonny struggles incessantly to keep his faltering business afloat. He does all he can to appease his disgruntled guests, many of whom are ready to turn back upon arrival, and his overbearing mother (Lillette Dubey), who constantly criticizes Sonny, forever flaunting his brothers’ success in his face. He also strives to please his girlfriend, Sunaina (Tena Desae), an educated, upwardly mobile young woman whom he worries will leave him for someone more financially stable. It’s quite a full plate for the wily young entrepreneur.

But, thanks to a hefty dose of Sonny’s charm and the newfound friendships that spring up among the recent arrivals, the guests decide to stay. They thus embark on new journeys of personal discovery, some on their own and some by way of interactions with the hotel staff, the locals or each other. Their individual odysseys end up offering them possibilities for fresh starts unlike anything they could have possibly imagined before they left England.

At some point in our lives, fresh starts are welcome developments in the wake of unrelenting sameness, though, admittedly, embracing such changes can become more difficult for many of us as we age. As we allow the beliefs that shape our realities through the conscious creation process to settle in and become comfortable, we’re more likely to look askance at possible upheavals in our routines, summarily rejecting them even before examining what they have to offer. We might even try justifying our resistance with arguments like “we’re too old for this sort of thing.” But are fresh starts only meant to be the provenance of the young?

The very emergence of such manifestations indicates that there’s some part of us deep down inside that wants to usher change into our lives, no matter how old or young we are, but the more we resist those impulses, the more imposing, even threatening, they’re likely to appear in subsequent iterations. They may ultimately give rise to circumstances that appear as if change is being foisted upon us, with unwanted consequences and overwrought drama coming along for the ride.

Is this really how we want change to take hold in our lives? Must we become so dissatisfied with our situations that we allow ourselves to become ill, jaded or burned out before we’ll even consider making alterations to our existence? Do we truly want change crammed down our throats?

In many ways, this is where the guests of the Marigold Hotel find themselves at the film’s outset. They’re at the point where they’ve put off making change for so long that they now find themselves, metaphorically speaking, with their backs up against the proverbial wall. Their inner selves are telling them that change is imperative and that the only real decision they need to make is to choose how to react to the impending circumstances.

Many of us have come to fear change, that the disappearance of the familiar will leave us sad, disoriented or less well off than we’ve grown accustomed to being. But it need not be that way at all. Change just means doing something differently, and it doesn’t automatically equate to things being worse than they have been; it could indeed be the start of something far better than we could have possibly imagined but that we have not previously permitted to materialize. Allowing change of an especially positive nature can be truly life affirming, especially for those nearing the ends of their corporeal journeys. After all, as many of us have no doubt experienced, basking in the illuminated brilliance of sunny autumn days can be some of the most rewarding times of the year. The residents of the Marigold Hotel come to see this for themselves, once they’re willing to allow it to happen.

Conscious creation theorists like author Jane Roberts, speaking through her noncorporeal channeled entity, Seth, maintain that our lives are all about being in “a constant state of becoming.” Our lives, like those of the Marigold Hotel guests, truly are journeys, explorations of discovery and becoming who we were genuinely meant to be. To make the most of that experience, we would be wise to leave ourselves open to maximize the scope of our personal adventures, especially in the waning days of those expeditions. Let us hope that we all have the wisdom to make that possible for ourselves, to discover the joy that Evelyn, Muriel, Graham, Douglas, Jean, Norman and Madge find for themselves in their own respective adventures.

“The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” is a charming release, full of life, vibrancy and gentle humor. Its exquisite cinematography and mesmerizing soundtrack combine to paint a lush portrait of an exotic land in all its beauty and all its challenges. The excellent ensemble cast blends well together, though the writing sometimes fails them when it comes to the degree of interaction the principal characters have with one another (even though they’re each following their own paths, it would have been nice to see those paths cross one another a little more than they do). The script also falls prey to a certain degree of predictability, but then that’s compensated for by an equal measure of surprise, offsetting that minor shortcoming.

The picture is already getting some Oscar buzz, though, realistically, I think it’s being released far too early in the year to be remembered by Academy voters later on. Nevertheless, if 2012 proves to be another weak year for movies, it could be a contender in some of the technical categories, as well as for some of the performances, particularly those turned in by Wilkinson, Nighy and, of course, Dench.

This picture serves as a valuable reminder that time passes in this life far faster than most of us often realize and that, because of that, we’d better make the most of it while we can, especially when the hourglass is running out. In life as in the movies, I’ve found that some of the most rewarding moments come toward the end of the picture. And to get the most out of them, it’s up to us to savor those times before the credits roll.

Copyright © 2012, by Brent Marchant. All rights reserved.

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Starting Without Fear by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

A while ago, at the Royal Ontario Museum I went to the public restroom. Just before I came out of the stall I heard a high clear voice say, “Who’s going to get me soap?”
I walked out and saw a little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, the arms of her white sweatshirt rolled up as she stood at the sink. She couldn’t reach the soap dispenser. I wasn’t sure to whom she had addressed the question. The room was empty except for the two of us.

“I can help with that,” I said and proceeded to offer her soap from my hands.

“What’s your name?” she asked as she scooped up some of the foam.

Seeing she couldn’t reach the faucet I pressed it down for her and replied, “Oriah.”

“I’m Dakota,” she offered promptly.

“Hi, Dakota.” She nodded and proceeded to rub her hands under the flowing water.

“And how many years old are you?” she asked in a matter of fact voice.

“Fifty-five,” I replied. She frowned a little and then held up four fingers. “Ah,” I said, “and you are four years old.” She nodded and moved over to the hand dryer putting her hands under the warm air. My own hands now washed and dried, I headed for the door.

“Good-bye Dakota. Nice to meet you.” She smiled and waved good-bye.

Just outside the doorway, a young man stood waiting. “I bet you’re waiting for Dakota.” He smiled and nodded, and I assured him she would be right out.

The incident could not have lasted more than three or four minutes but I keep going over it in my mind and smiling, wondering why it touched me so. Physically Dakota reminded me of myself at that age- I was also slight, blonde and blue-eyed. But Dakota was so at home in her own skin, it took my breath away. She was not trying to be precocious, or ingratiating or demanding. She needed soap and she couldn’t get any so she wondered out loud who was going to help her, and seemed to take my appearance as a reasonable answer to her question. She was confident but aware of her own limitations. She was curious but not invasive, willing to give whatever information she asked of the other. She was. . . . whole and at home with herself and the world in way I could not remember being as a child.

Thinking about Dakota I remember being the same age and visiting Buffalo NY to shop at Grant’s Department Store with my family. It was 1958, and I was carrying a small pink purse. As my grandmother and I waited for my grandfather at the entrance of the store, an elderly black gentleman walked up and squatted down in front of me smiling. I heard Nana gasp and felt her suddenly grab me and pull me back against her as she stepped away. I could feel the fear coursing through her body hitting mine like an electric shock. The gentleman looked up at her. His smile faded and he slowly shook his head as he held out my purse.

“Your little girl dropped this,” he said. He looked so tired and so sad I felt like crying, but I didn’t know why. I wanted to say something, but he quickly got up and walked away. I felt confused and embarrassed for my grandmother who just stood there, her body rigid, her arm across my chest pressing me against her.

Dakota was not afraid. I have no doubt that if anyone tried to harm her she could fight and yell for assistance very effectively. And of course she was too young to be there alone, and her guardian was close by. But she did not start from a place of fear. She did not expect me to be anything but helpful. No one had yet taught her to be afraid of everyone she did not know. My grandmother had been taught to be afraid of strangers, and a racist culture has taught her to be afraid of people- particularly men- of colour. I have been privileged to live in a city of such multi-cultural diversity that many of the fears she passed from her body to mine have been expunged and healed. But I remember them and how they affected me, how they put up a barrier to the other.

Encountering Dakota made me feel hopeful. Maybe we can raise children who do not approach unknown people or places or ways of being with fear and hostility. And maybe, if we do not meet the stranger with fear, we can get to know each other a little, can find ways to live and work together.

Oriah (c) 2009

Oriah is the author of the international best-selling books: The Invitation, and The Dance, and The Call (published by HarperONE, translated into eighteen languages.) Her much loved poem “The Invitation” has been shared around the world. Trained in a shamanic tradition, her medicine name Mountain Dreamer means one who likes to find and push the edge. Using story, poetry and shamanic ceremony Oriah’s deeply personal writing and her work as a group facilitator and mentor explore how to follow the thread of our heart’s longing into a life where we can choose joy without denying the challenges of a human life. www.oriah.org www.oriahsinvitation.blogspot.com https://www.facebook.com/Oriah.Mountain.Dreamer?sk=wall 

Read more by Oriah Mountain Dreamer:

Resisting What We Want by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

What Is Compassion by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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READ: Feed Your Soul: Change Your Life by Janice Taylor

Technorati Tags: Happiness, Health & Well-being, Hollyhock, inspiration, Janice Taylor, Life and Wellness Coach, Our Lady of Weight Loss, Personal Growth, Vancouver, vivid life, VividLife.me, Womens Retreats

LISTEN: Jane Fonda & Tara Stiles chat about issues facing Women, Yoga, Meditation and more…

VividLife’s Ed and Deb Shapiro welcome Icon Jane Fonda and Yoga Instructor Tara Stiles, to discuss Women, Yoga, Meditation and more, in support of Tara’s new book Yoga Cures: Simple Routines to Conquer More Than 50 Common Ailments and Live Pain-Free

Jane Fonda, Born in New York City in 1937 to legendary screen star Henry Fonda and New York socialite Frances Seymour Brokaw, Jane Seymour Fonda was destined early to an uncommon and influential life in the limelight. Although she initially showed little inclination to follow her father’s trade, she was prompted by Joshua Logan to appear with her father in the 1954 Omaha Community Theatre production of “The Country Girl”. Her interest in acting grew after meeting Lee Strasberg in 1958 and joining the Actors Studio. Her screen debut in Tall Story (1960) (directed by Logan) marked the beginning of a highly successful and respected acting career highlighted by two Academy Awards (for her performances in Klute (1971) and Coming Home (1978)) and five additional Oscar nominations (as Best Actress in They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? (1969), Julia (1977), The China Syndrome (1979), The Morning After (1986), and Best Supporting Actress in On Golden Pond (1981), which was the only film she made with her father). Fonda underwent a series of metamorphoses in both her profession and personal life. After finding her niche in romantic comedies such as Period of Adjustment (1962), Sunday in New York (1963), and Any Wednesday (1966), she starred in the notorious sci-fi sex farce Barbarella (1968), directed by her then-husband Roger Vadim. The events that followed became her most debated, scandalous, and controversial period: her espousal of anti-establishment causes and especially her anti-war activities during the Vietnam War. Her political involvement continued with fellow activist and second husband Tom Hayden in the 1970s and ’80s. In the 1980s she started the aerobic exercise craze with the publication of the “Jane Fonda’s Workout Book”. After divorcing Hayden and announcing her retirement from the film industry, she married broadcasting mogul Ted Turner in 1991; they split eight years later. In 2005, Fonda penned the best-selling autobiography “My Life So Far” and relaunched her film career with a starring role in the box office hit Monster-in-Law (2005).

http://www.janefonda.com

Tara Stiles, Named “Yoga Rebel” by the New York Times, Tara Stiles has inspired a wide audience around the world with her healthy and relatable approaches to yoga, meditation, exercise, awareness, nutrition and every day well being. Tara has been featured in publications including Elle, Harpers Bazaar, Lucky, InStyle, Esquire, Shape, and Self, and has been profiled by the Times of India, The Times (UK), and Sweden’s Dagnes Nyheter.

Tara is the founder and owner of Strala Yoga, widely known for it’s unpretentious, inclusive, and straightforward approach to yoga and meditation. She is the personal yoga instructor to Deepak Chopra, whom she’s collaborated with to create the best selling Authentic Yoga iPhone app, Yoga Transformation DVD series among other projects. Jane Fonda named Tara, “The new face of fitness”. They partnered to re-launch Jane’s famous WORKOUT brand of fitness DVDs and equipment.

Tara is the author of the best selling Slim Calm Sexy Yoga, and the upcoming Yoga Cures, that is already climbing the charts. Her approach leads people to their own intuition and awareness. The results are radiant health and lasting happiness.

Tara is the first yoga instructor to use social media effectively to reach a global audience. Her instructional yoga videos, #1 iTunes podcast, blogs, and cooking videos have received over 20 million views so far. She engages with her wide range of subscribers daily through her video blog, twitter, Facebook page and her popular Tumblr blog, Tara Eats. Through social media Tara has been able to help millions of people ranging from kids, teenagers, moms, regular guys, and beyond not only get healthy and happy, but heal a wide variety of conditions from back pain, anxiety, sleep disorders, weight issues, body issues, and more. Her total social media reach is in the tens of millions and growing.

As Vanity Fair noted, “Tara Stiles has got to be the coolest yoga instructor ever.”

“One of the things I like about her is her ability to make yoga accessible to people who might be scared of it or think it might be too esoteric,”

–Jane Fonda

“We are both nonconformists who have incurred the wrath of traditional yogis,” Mr. Chopra said of Ms. Stiles, whom he now considers his personal instructor. “A lot of the criticism is resentment of her rapid success. I have been doing yoga for 30 years. I have had teachers of all kinds. Taking lessons from her has been more useful to me than taking yoga from anyone else.

–Deepak Chopra

http://www.tarastiles.com

Listen to more with Ed and Deb Shapiro on demand:

Ed and Deb Shapiro welcome Lindsay Wagner, Emmy award-winning actress for her role as The Bionic Woman turned Spiritual Teacher to discuss Awakening and integrating body, mind and spirit in a natural, holistic way

Ed and Deb Shapiro welcome Super Model Carre Otis to discuss her new book Beauty Disrupted, a memoir. Carre has long been one of the most recognizable faces in modeling, headlining in campaigns for Guess, Donna Karan, Calvin Klein, and Revlon and has graced the covers of Vogue, Elle, Harper’s Bazaar, Glamour, and Cosmopolitan

 

 

READ: Gitmo or Gandhi by Ed and Deb Shapiro

I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent. Mahatma Gandhi

The prison camp at Guantanamo Bay, built on a legacy of fear, was established to deal with violent terrorists but, instead, became the cause of further suffering and chaos. It is a prime example of the mindless, cruel and inhuman way we abuse our fellow human beings. For despite whatever these men may or may not have done they are our human beings and inflicting pain, especially the methods used at Gitmo, achieves nothing but further pain. Two wrongs do not make a right; to meet violence with more violence does not bring peace. Closing Gitmo does not say we condone violence, but that we do not intend to continue to act in such a barbaric way.

Of course, there are those who oppose closing the camp. Fear is a powerful seductress waiting around every corner to grab our attention; hatred is like a snake always ready to bite. The nature of fear is to hold us back, to keep us in a place of closed heartedness. It will create an enemy even if one does not exist. Being fearless does not mean we have to stop or deny the fear; fearlessness is not a state of being without fear. Rather, it is fully feeling the fear, getting to know it, and then making friends with it.

If we divide reality into two camps—the violent and the nonviolent— and stand in one camp while attacking the other, the world will never have peace.  Thich Nhat Hanh, Noble Peace Prize Nominee

Mahatma Gandhi changed the course of history in India by proving that non-violence is more powerful than violence, bringing an end to British domination as he inspired millions of others to follow his lead. The Dalai Lama won the Nobel Peace Prize for practicing non-violence towards the invading Chinese. Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, Ang San Suu Kyi, and Archbishop Tutu have all stood out as practicing harmlessness or pacifism, often in the face of tremendous opposition, while Swami Satchidananda taught ahimsa or non-injury is the one practice in yoga that leads to Self-realization.

Deb was raised a Quaker, whose creed is found in the statement, To travel over the earth meeting that of God in every man. This is reflected in the Buddhist and Yoga teaching of ahimsa. This sounds so simple, but harmlessness actually requires a complete shift in attitude. In a world where selfishness and self-interest are the norm it takes great courage not to react with greed or anger, which only cause harm. Simply by causing less pain, each of us can bring greater dignity to or world. By recognizing the fundamental equality of all beings, harm is replaced with harmlessness, disrespect with respect.

We will always blame and condemn those we feel are responsible for wars and social injustice, without recognizing the degree of violence in ourselves. We must work on ourselves as well as with those we condemn if we wish to move towards peace. Thich Nhat Hanh

Aspiring to live harmlessly confronts us with the many ways we may be causing harm without realizing it, whether by ignoring someone’s feelings, by using more of the earth’s resources than we need, or by buying products made by underage and underpaid workers. What to do when ants or cockroaches invade the kitchen or slugs eat away at the vegetable garden, yet we do not want to harm them?

And how often do we do things that are hurtful or harmful to ourselves? How many times a day, subtly or otherwise, do we put ourselves down, reaffirm our hopelessness, dislike our appearance, or see ourselves as incompetent or unworthy? How much resentment, guilt or shame are we holding on to, thus perpetuating past negativity?

Are you ready to honor yourself and others? Is it not time to end the war within? For only then can we end the violence in the world.

Ed and Deb Shapiro are the authors of BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You And The World, with forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman and Winner of the 2010 Nautilus Gold Book Award. Deb is the author of the bestselling book, YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, winner of the 2007 Visionary Book Award. They are featured bloggers on Oprah.com/spirit, HuffingtonPost.com/Living, and Care2.com. They have 3 meditation CD’s: Metta — Loving Kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi – Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra – Inner Conscious Relaxation. See: www.EdandDebShapiro.com 

 

Read more from Ed and Deb Shapiro:

Why Do We Enjoy Making Fun of Others? by Ed and Deb Shapiro

What The Buddha Might Say To Mitt Romney by Ed and Deb Shapiro

 

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