READ: An Excerpt from: ‘The Guru and the Jerk’ by Christopher Pinckley

My latest work is called ‘The Guru and the Jerk’ and is the first of a new, emotionally honest trilogy

I recently completed the final edit for The Guru and the Jerk.   I had previously released this book only to find that I had neglected quite a few grammatical errors.  My hope had been to release this book as raw as I possibly could, but this approach backfired on me as it needed editing.  So, now it’s done!  The book will be available as a kindle ebook at first, and then later as a paperback.

In this work I bring a ‘no holds barred’ approach to spirituality and self help which I feel has been missing for way too long.  There is just too much misinformation and conflicting opinions and beliefs out there to let this go on any longer.  People are becoming scared of what they think and feel for fear that they are going to create a catastrophe for themselves.  A lot of people are trying to make spiritual bypasses and delve into the spiritual realms hoping that they can create heaven on Earth.  While that’s not a completely bad idea in itself, it does not lend to creating the life of your dreams if you are repressing your emotional states of being during the process.

Thus, The Guru and the Jerk is all about emotional honesty and a hard, behind the scenes look at the making of a spiritual teacher and self help author.

I hope you enjoy the honesty, the frankness, and the realism that I provide while describing my personal journey behind the scenes.

Chapter 8 Spiritual Sexuality

So, what is the difference between me and another guy sitting at Starbucks who is checking out the ladies? Why would I attempt to elevate myself beyond the status of just some dude ogling women at the Starbucks, you might ask?

Well, a couple of things separate me from this idiot.

First, I am emotionally honest about it. In other words, I will openly admit it to anyone who asks me. This, in itself, exemplifies an alternate state of consciousness. In other words, I am not trying to cover it up by either repressing it within myself or lying to someone else about it.

For example, there was a guy sharing my table the other day at the Starbucks in Walnut Creek. A beautiful Italian woman came in who had an extremely athletic build which I found fascinating. I admired the way she had crafted her body through exercise. Every woman is beautiful to me and wears her beauty in her own way. This woman had refined her body in an athletic kind of way. This guy sharing my table was pretending to be busy, doing some sort of work, but he was watching her too. So I said: “She has a nice athletic body, eh?” And, can you guess what his reply was? A slightly embarrassed grunt “umgh” as if he wasn’t really looking at her and who am I to even bring it up!? In other words, total unconsciousness. A person who is this unconscious might be the very person who cheats on his wife. He pretends that he isn’t staring at every single woman around him, but he is busy doing exactly that.

You do not have to worry about the people who put it out there. Emotionally honest people, even if they are rude, are in the light. Let me say that again: Emotionally honest people are in the light. Whereas, emotionally dishonest people (deeply unconscious people), are in the dark. Do you understand the powerful difference here?

One guy might say that he is checking out the chicks at Starbucks. Another guy might say that he would never do anything like that, but he is busy cheating on his wife with a woman he met at Starbucks.

This also applies to women. I’ve dated women who adamantly deny that they crave external validation only to find that they are secretly making eye contact with every single dude that walks by. When confronted with this they are in total denial.

Why?

Because anything that deeply unconscious cannot be admitted as a conscious act.

You might as well ask a gerbil why they are looking at somebody, as ask an unconscious girlfriend or boyfriend that question. The only difference is that the gerbil won’t become angry with you. We could also look at why it bothers you that your partner is looking at somebody or why you notice it or why you feel the need to confront that. This is sort of beside the point I am trying to make right now though.

Here is another way of speaking about emotional honesty: If you run into someone in New York City who doesn’t like you, guess what? They will tell say it to your face – and not in a nice way.

By contrast, if you run into someone in Los Angeles who doesn’t like you, guess what? They will smile at your face and shake your hand. But, you will leave that interaction with an ungood feeling.

Why?

Because anyone, even unconscious people, sense that something is just not right. That person who doesn’t like you gave you a cold prickly instead of a warm fuzzy.

Think of it this way: Would you rather have a cold prickly on the outside of you, where you can see it, and not take it too personally? Or, would you rather have a cold prickly somewhere inside of you, and not understand where this yucky feeling is coming from?

Are you starting to get the picture now?

Of course, you can take this to the extreme too, especially a lot of men whom I have observed. “Hey man, I love women, what can I say?” That phrase has been uttered by more than one man who rationalizes that he is emotionally honest as a way to basically try to sleep with as many women as he can. Now we have a dude who is basically unconscious and additionally manipulative. Big fun for women.

I consider myself to be a sexual being. But, what does that mean? By saying that, am I creating an excuse so that I can live my life in a certain way? I think it is new and important for us to address our assumptions about ourselves. More people are beginning to recognize core aspects of themselves, whether they use numerology, integral theory, or transpersonal psychology. Along with them, I am trying to become more aware of various aspects of myself; I am trying to categorize the various aspects of my ‘self’, as it were.

This powerful tool might help me understand myself, but could it become a handicap?

Consider this categorization: “I am a Type A personality.”

This is an example of a gross overgeneralization that permeates our modern day culture. So, you’re telling me that there are two types of personalities: Type A and Type B? That’s it? “Oh yeah, I’m a Type A for sure man.”

This is obviously ridiculous and cannot even remotely encompass the human experience. However, now we have spiritual people doing it with all manner of different types of personality charts. Ok, so in the beginning I would be inclined to agree that this can offer valuable insight into one’s own psyche in that you can potentially become aware of who you are and why you do what you do.

Got it.

But, what if I denote that I am a ‘sexual being’, so to speak? Do I then get to rationalize my behavior by going around sleeping with as many women as I can? Because let me tell you, I can. I could say, “Well, I am a very sexual being and being sexually intimate with women is something that my Soul yearns for. I feel energized and excited by being with different women. I truly love women and love being with them.”

Will you buy that for a dollar?

You can apply the ‘I am an xyz type of personality/soul’ to any scenario to rationalize and perpetuate any behavior. So, it can get messy. So it becomes important to understand the real meaning of ‘Integration.’

Christopher Pinckley is the author of Reality Creation 101, a ground breaking spiritual self-help book about healing your unconscious and learning how to become the conscious creator of your own experience. He is also a spiritual teacher, blogger, and life coach. Look for his break through coaching program at the start of 2011. http://www.realitycreation101.com/

 

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READ: APOLOGIES TO THE DIVINE FEMININE (from a warrior in transition) by Jeff Brown

I apologize for my inability to distinguish the benevolent warrior from the heartless warrior, a reflection of my own confusion dealing with the battlefields of yore. When I opened my heart too wide, I was vulnerable to attack from warring factions. I was conditioned to believe that I had to stay rigid, focused, prepared for any eventuality, in the desire to protect myself and others from attack. But I went too far, and closed too tight, and eradicated the bridge between our hearts. I am seeing this now and I am sorry.

I apologize for my perpetual absence, a reflection of my own inner absence, my inability to connect from a heart jammed tight by unresolved emotions that I did not have the tools to work through. I still lack many of these tools, but I am open to their emergence.

I apologize for my inability to distinguish relationship from war. Like a warrior in enemy territory, I would sneak in and out of your life in the night, plundering and selfishly taking what I needed, then crawling back to the other side of the abyss with the spoils. I gave little back for fear that I would become vulnerable to attack. I had war on the brain and I could not see the river of love waiting on the other side of the battlefield. I now recognize that love is the antidote for the armoured warrior, but I could not drink the antidote in my driven state.

I apologize for not seeing you, my eyes blinded by congealed rage and unshed tears. If it is any consolation, and I imagine it is not, I could not see myself either. I saw only that which served my hyper-vigilance, my warrior focus. My mirror was a battlefield.

I apologize for my ungrounded materialism, my power driven tyrannies, my obsession with accumulation. Somehow I imagined that accumulation would protect me and those close to me, but I failed to recognize that it just perpetuated the madness. I also apologize for my egoic abuses, a reflection of my own misguided ego, pumped up to deal with an inherently competitive world. I couldn’t distinguish the healthy, confident ego from the cocky, unhealthy ego. I went much too far in the wrong direction.

I apologize for a sexuality that was objectifying and disconnected from the heart. I know you longed for real intimacy, a merging of our souls along the heart-genital highway. But there were too many defences around my heart, and no bridge could form between our souls. There were moments when your loving ways freed me from my body masks, but I had no template to stand in that heart-fire. I am sorry for this, for I know that the path you longed for was the path to God.

I apologize for my horrifying acts of violence, a reflection of my own congealed rage, my own inability to distinguish real enemies from friends. There are no words that can undo what I have done in those moments of madness. I know this, I do. I would hide my face in shame, but that won’t make things better. I need to own my misdeeds, and then find a way to believe in my capacity to move from a more loving place. I call out to other male warriors to be accountable for the actions of our gender, not in a way that is self-hating, but in a way that is courageously self-honest and genuinely compassionate. The heartfelt warrior acknowledges the error of his ways, and has the courage to do all he can to make amends over time.

I apologize for my inability to develop a conscious relationship. You were right there with your beautiful heart on your sleeve but I was too attached to my individualism and afraid of this unknown terrain. I know the forests, the marketplace and the ways of the outer world so well, but my inner geography is foreign to me. You called me to a place I was ill-prepared to go, although I sensed, below the surface of my bravado, that you called me home.

I am grateful for your willingness to believe that who I was in those rare moments of vulnerability was the real me. You were right- the real me lives inside of my heart- but a few moments now and then was the most I could handle. I saw you as dangerous, for in your presence I began to taste a surrendered way of being. Nonetheless, your faith in my goodness kept me going through many a battle, and restored my faith in life when I most needed it. You were the light at the end of a barbaric tunnel, and I am blessed.

I am grateful that you stuck with me through thick and thin, and I also understand those times you had to give up and let go. I now recognize that there is meaningful difference between a love-ship and a relationship. Love alone is not enough. Without a shared willingness to become conscious, there can only be frustration. I was so often impossible, clinging to my unconsciousness like a soldier clings to his weapons. I recognize the courage it took for you to keep your heart open in the presence of my resistance. You had every right to seek an authentic relationship, as your spirit was ignited in its presence. Your beautiful heart had every right to be met in its openness and willingness. I am grateful for the time you gave me, a moments respite from the hiding places I mistakenly called home.

I am grateful for Grandmother, for no one saw my tenderness more clearly. I am grateful for Mother, for choosing to bring me into being and for nourishing my body until I could find my feet. I am grateful for Mother Earth, for grounding my expansion and enlivening my spirit. I am grateful for the Divine Mother, the real Mother of us all. I now feel her divine presence, so close. Fiercely compassionate, she was always right here, breathing life into me, holding me safe. I sit in her lap as she breathes me.

I look forward to the day when the only thing that ignites relationship is two souls calling out to one another, two soul-hearts beating in the same direction, a whisper of longing that bridges one essence to another. I want to want you not because it gratifies my ego, not because you are outwardly beautiful, but because your very presence invites my Godself out of hiding. I want to touch you with my heart on my sleeve, to know chemistry between us that is not gender identified, but that is essence sourced, loves liquid lava flowing from the heart to the genitals to the great beyond. In this love-struck world, relationship will always be experienced as spiritual practice, a devotional expression of our God-self.

I had always believed that sensitivity is impossible to hold to in a harsh world. Yet in this moment, I feel sensitive, but without the fragility. I am still wearing armor but there is a shift in the direction of my intensity. I can linger in the heart-space a little longer than I once could, I am softening in places. After so many lifetimes with weapon in hand, a tenderling warrior is being birthed in the core of my being. He is confused, but he intuitively knows that this is the way home.

Please don’t give up on me or my fellow warriors. Forgive us our misdeeds, or, at the least, be open to the possibility that we will change as the trail expands to meet our shifting intentionality. The day will come when our warrior spirit loses its harsh edge, and comes into alignment with benevolent action. Some of us are already there, and many more of us will follow. The road to transformation is dependent on a bridge between genders, a benevolent bridge that celebrates our differences with respect and kindness. That work must begin with healing the rifts along the gender continuum, working hard to heal the collective heart until one day we can stand on a bridge across forever, hands held together, hearts open and alight, embracing the sacred masculine and divine feminine living at the heart of us all. I will meet you there.

May you feel the love of the Divine Mother crashing down on your heartfelt shores, graciously lifting you up above the madness of the world, nestling you in the grateful arms of those you have nurtured. Those of us who have received your blessings may not always acknowledge it, but your acts of love have landed within us, growing us stronger and infusing us with love’s light. Thank you.

~A former criminal lawyer and psychotherapist, Jeff Brown is the author of “Soulshaping: A Journey of Self-Creation,” recently published by North Atlantic Books. Endorsed by authors Elizabeth Lesser and Ram Dass, “Soulshaping” is Brown’s autobiography — an inner travelogue of his journey from archetypal male warrior to a more surrendered path. You can connect with his work at www.soulshaping.com

 

 

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There is no reason not to follow your heart by Em Claire

The question I apply to any “have to” or “should” throughout a day is:   Why am I “doing” this?  and then, What is it I think I’ll achieve by “doing” this? Is this “doing” some natural, inner impulse, or is it yet one more attempt to in some way seek society’s approval?

 

What does it mean to be free of definitions? by Gangaji

At this time in our present history, we have the ability to be conscious of the stories we have been taught and how they define us, as well as the stories we unquestionably have believed about who another is. We can be willing to be unguarded with ourselves, and we can take responsibility for the result. We can marvel when we discover that the stories of previously demonized others (enemies) are as beautiful and multi-layered as our own. We mature when we realize that some of the stories cherished as the foundation..

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Karma — Harmonious Coexistence With Our Environment

In the Hindu language the profoundly powerful word KARMA is used to identify this “Law of All Laws” – the “Cause and Effect Law of the Universe.” If we subscribe to the laws of karma, we are open to the possibility that there is no such a thing as a “coincidence.” In reality, coincidence is a predetermined course of synchronistic events.

Everything that happens to us is a result of our ancestors’ actions or the actions of our own souls in previous lives. Theologians and philosophers have been studying these karmic issues for thousands of years, many of which are documented in a host of treatises and monographs (see bibliography).

KARMA. What is it? What does it mean? What kind of information does it carry? It is the unknown, unseen energy and residue from relationships we have accumulated throughout all our previous lives.

Most of us have actually known many of the people in our present lives in past incarnations. It explains why we are immediately attracted to or comfortable with a complete stranger, why we make strong, unexplainable connections, or why we encounter someone and feel an immediate disturbance. These are allexamples of negative or positive past-life relationships.

These karmic relationships are hard to break, especially if they were established on powerful emotional ties. Enormous energy is spent in establishing links between human souls, and they move from one life to the next as well as from one generation to the other.

The search for harmonious coexistence with our environment brings us closer to accepting and understanding the laws of karma.

© Rachel Madorsky

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