READ: An Excerpt from: ‘The Guru and the Jerk’ by Christopher Pinckley
February 1, 2012 by Chris
Filed under Ego, Enlightenment, Karma, Law of Attraction, Law of Attraction, Love, Meditation, Metaphysical, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Reflection, Relationships, Sexuality, Short stories, Spiritual Guidance, Spiritual teachers, Spirituality
My latest work is called ‘The Guru and the Jerk’ and is the first of a new, emotionally honest trilogy
I recently completed the final edit for The Guru and the Jerk. I had previously released this book only to find that I had neglected quite a few grammatical errors. My hope had been to release this book as raw as I possibly could, but this approach backfired on me as it needed editing. So, now it’s done! The book will be available as a kindle ebook at first, and then later as a paperback.
In this work I bring a ‘no holds barred’ approach to spirituality and self help which I feel has been missing for way too long. There is just too much misinformation and conflicting opinions and beliefs out there to let this go on any longer. People are becoming scared of what they think and feel for fear that they are going to create a catastrophe for themselves. A lot of people are trying to make spiritual bypasses and delve into the spiritual realms hoping that they can create heaven on Earth. While that’s not a completely bad idea in itself, it does not lend to creating the life of your dreams if you are repressing your emotional states of being during the process.
Thus, The Guru and the Jerk is all about emotional honesty and a hard, behind the scenes look at the making of a spiritual teacher and self help author.
I hope you enjoy the honesty, the frankness, and the realism that I provide while describing my personal journey behind the scenes.
Chapter 8 Spiritual Sexuality
So, what is the difference between me and another guy sitting at Starbucks who is checking out the ladies? Why would I attempt to elevate myself beyond the status of just some dude ogling women at the Starbucks, you might ask?
Well, a couple of things separate me from this idiot.
First, I am emotionally honest about it. In other words, I will openly admit it to anyone who asks me. This, in itself, exemplifies an alternate state of consciousness. In other words, I am not trying to cover it up by either repressing it within myself or lying to someone else about it.
For example, there was a guy sharing my table the other day at the Starbucks in Walnut Creek. A beautiful Italian woman came in who had an extremely athletic build which I found fascinating. I admired the way she had crafted her body through exercise. Every woman is beautiful to me and wears her beauty in her own way. This woman had refined her body in an athletic kind of way. This guy sharing my table was pretending to be busy, doing some sort of work, but he was watching her too. So I said: “She has a nice athletic body, eh?” And, can you guess what his reply was? A slightly embarrassed grunt “umgh” as if he wasn’t really looking at her and who am I to even bring it up!? In other words, total unconsciousness. A person who is this unconscious might be the very person who cheats on his wife. He pretends that he isn’t staring at every single woman around him, but he is busy doing exactly that.
You do not have to worry about the people who put it out there. Emotionally honest people, even if they are rude, are in the light. Let me say that again: Emotionally honest people are in the light. Whereas, emotionally dishonest people (deeply unconscious people), are in the dark. Do you understand the powerful difference here?
One guy might say that he is checking out the chicks at Starbucks. Another guy might say that he would never do anything like that, but he is busy cheating on his wife with a woman he met at Starbucks.
This also applies to women. I’ve dated women who adamantly deny that they crave external validation only to find that they are secretly making eye contact with every single dude that walks by. When confronted with this they are in total denial.
Why?
Because anything that deeply unconscious cannot be admitted as a conscious act.
You might as well ask a gerbil why they are looking at somebody, as ask an unconscious girlfriend or boyfriend that question. The only difference is that the gerbil won’t become angry with you. We could also look at why it bothers you that your partner is looking at somebody or why you notice it or why you feel the need to confront that. This is sort of beside the point I am trying to make right now though.
Here is another way of speaking about emotional honesty: If you run into someone in New York City who doesn’t like you, guess what? They will tell say it to your face – and not in a nice way.
By contrast, if you run into someone in Los Angeles who doesn’t like you, guess what? They will smile at your face and shake your hand. But, you will leave that interaction with an ungood feeling.
Why?
Because anyone, even unconscious people, sense that something is just not right. That person who doesn’t like you gave you a cold prickly instead of a warm fuzzy.
Think of it this way: Would you rather have a cold prickly on the outside of you, where you can see it, and not take it too personally? Or, would you rather have a cold prickly somewhere inside of you, and not understand where this yucky feeling is coming from?
Are you starting to get the picture now?
Of course, you can take this to the extreme too, especially a lot of men whom I have observed. “Hey man, I love women, what can I say?” That phrase has been uttered by more than one man who rationalizes that he is emotionally honest as a way to basically try to sleep with as many women as he can. Now we have a dude who is basically unconscious and additionally manipulative. Big fun for women.
I consider myself to be a sexual being. But, what does that mean? By saying that, am I creating an excuse so that I can live my life in a certain way? I think it is new and important for us to address our assumptions about ourselves. More people are beginning to recognize core aspects of themselves, whether they use numerology, integral theory, or transpersonal psychology. Along with them, I am trying to become more aware of various aspects of myself; I am trying to categorize the various aspects of my ‘self’, as it were.
This powerful tool might help me understand myself, but could it become a handicap?
Consider this categorization: “I am a Type A personality.”
This is an example of a gross overgeneralization that permeates our modern day culture. So, you’re telling me that there are two types of personalities: Type A and Type B? That’s it? “Oh yeah, I’m a Type A for sure man.”
This is obviously ridiculous and cannot even remotely encompass the human experience. However, now we have spiritual people doing it with all manner of different types of personality charts. Ok, so in the beginning I would be inclined to agree that this can offer valuable insight into one’s own psyche in that you can potentially become aware of who you are and why you do what you do.
Got it.
But, what if I denote that I am a ‘sexual being’, so to speak? Do I then get to rationalize my behavior by going around sleeping with as many women as I can? Because let me tell you, I can. I could say, “Well, I am a very sexual being and being sexually intimate with women is something that my Soul yearns for. I feel energized and excited by being with different women. I truly love women and love being with them.”
Will you buy that for a dollar?
You can apply the ‘I am an xyz type of personality/soul’ to any scenario to rationalize and perpetuate any behavior. So, it can get messy. So it becomes important to understand the real meaning of ‘Integration.’
Christopher Pinckley is the author of Reality Creation 101, a ground breaking spiritual self-help book about healing your unconscious and learning how to become the conscious creator of your own experience. He is also a spiritual teacher, blogger, and life coach. Look for his break through coaching program at the start of 2011. http://www.realitycreation101.com/
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READ: MAKE THE OFFERING by Rick Hanson, M.D.
February 1, 2012 by Rick Hanson, Ph.D.
Filed under •-Feature, Buddhism, Health & Well-being, Insights, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Reflection, Vision
What could you offer?
The Practice:
Make the offering.
Why?
One of the strangest and most meaningful experiences of my life occurred when I going through Rolfing (ten brilliant sessions of deep-tissue bodywork) in my early 20′s. The fifth session works on the stomach area, and I was anticipating (= dreading) the release of buried sadness. Instead, there was a dam burst of love, which poured out of me during the session and afterward. I realized it was love, not sadness, that I had bottled up in childhood – and what I now needed to give and express.
We can hold back our contributions to the world, including love, just as much as we can muzzle or repress sorrow or anger. But contribution needs to flow; it stagnates and gets stinky if it doesn’t. Thwarted contribution is the source of much unhappiness. For example, the wound of loneliness and heartache is about not having others to give to as much as not having others to get from. And one of the major issues with adolescence in technological cultures is that there are few opportunities for teenagers to make a real difference, to matter and feel a sense of earned worth.
Now, “contribution” covers a lot of ground. It includes big things like raising a child, inventing the paperclip, or composing a symphony. But mainly it’s a matter of many little things. You give or receive hundreds of small offerings each day, such as doing the dishes, treating customers with respect, picking up a gum wrapper, encouraging a friend, having good intentions, or staying open to feedback. You contribute with thought, word, and deed, and both by what you do and by what you restrain yourself from doing.
In addition to the offerings you already make, you may sense other things inside that want to be offered. Can you open to these and let them flow? It does not matter how large or small they are. As Nkosi Johnson – a South African boy born with HIV who became a national voice for children with AIDS before dying at about age 12 – once said:
Do all you can, with what you have, in the time you have, in the place where you are.
How?
Appreciate some of the things you already contribute through thought, word, and deed. Let yourself feel good about this.
Moving through your day, try considering your contributions as offerings – particularly the little things that are easy to overlook, such as the laundry, courteous driving, or saying thanks. When you relate to everyday actions as offerings, you feel an intimacy with the world, more kindness, perhaps even something sacred.
Also try on a sense of being unattached to the results of your offerings. Sure, it’s OK to hope for the best. But if you get fixed on some outcome, it’s a set up for pressure and disappointment. I got a good lesson about this from my friend David, who was becoming a priest in an urban zen center and preparing for his first public talk. I asked David if it bothered him to work hard to present something precious to people who might not value it. He looked at me like he could not understand my question. Then he made a gesture with both hands as if he were setting something at my feet, saying: “My part is to give the talk as best I can. Whatever they pick up is up to them. I hope it’s helpful, but that’s out of my hands.”
It’s alright to make offerings from enlightened self-interest. When you give, you receive. Which helps you keep giving. To be benevolent to others, you must be benevolent to yourself.
Also listen to your heart for additional offerings calling to be expressed. Maybe it’s the offering of never speaking out of anger, or really starting that novel, or determining to give love each day. It could even be an offering to your future self – the being above all others you have the greatest power over, and thus the highest duty to – such as regular exercise or taking steps toward a better job.
Help yourself sustain this practice by feeling good about your contributions, regarding actions as offerings, staying focused on a key new offering, and holding self-criticism at bay. As Leonard Cohen sings:
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in
That’s how the light gets in
* * *
Rick Hanson, Ph.D., is a neuropsychologist and author of the bestselling Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom (in 20 languages) – and Just One Thing: Developing a Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time. Founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom and Affiliate of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, he’s taught at Oxford, Stanford, and Harvard, and in meditation centers worldwide. His work has been featured on the BBC, NPR, Consumer Reports Health, and U.S. News and World Report and he has several audio programs. His blog – Just One Thing – has over 30,000 subscribers and suggests a simple practice each week that will bring you more joy, more fulfilling relationships, and more peace of mind and heart. If you wish, you can subscribe to Just One Thing here.
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READ: Cosmic Cheerleaders by Edie Wienstein
February 1, 2012 by Edie Weinstein
Filed under •-Headline, Angels, Insights, Intuition, Law of Attraction, Law of Attraction, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Psychic Advice, Purpose, Spiritual Guidance
Candy Danzis refers to herself as “The Mainstream Mystic” and that she is, as she bridges the worlds of the mainstream and metaphysical. For most of her career, she worked in the world of finance, making sense of dollars and cents. Now she works with senses of a different type….clairaudience (the sense of clear hearing), clairsentience (the sense of clear feeling), clairvoyance (the sense of clear seeing), and claircognizance (the sense of clear knowing). In front of a room, she radiates warmth and humor, ‘rock star’ microphone on her ear, perfectly coiffed blond hair across shoulders usually draped with a vivid color; today it was ‘hot mama’ raspberry pink. Her husband Brian Danzis is, as she refers to him “The brains” (the techno-dude who makes sure that the sound system works) behind this one woman road show that on this day, brought them from their home near Hershey, PA to my interfaith community called Circle of Miracles, outside of Philadelphia. He is also known as “Mr. Candy” and as someone else joked today “The Candy Man”.
Besides being a savvy business woman and angel communicator, she is also a cancer survivor. Healthy for most of her life, this stealth condition took her by complete surprise and brought with it a chance for huge emotional and spiritual growth. In 2008, as she was planning the annual Claim Your Power Conference, she received the diagnosis, which put the event on hold. At first, she viewed the treatment she was to receive as toxic. Then a friend suggested that she shift her perception so that she saw the chemotherapy as being divinely inspired. In the many months that followed, not once did she feel ill from side effects. Today, she stood before us in in radiant good health.
Her message was clear and simple, and that is that each of us has a guardian angel assigned to us at birth whose job it is to guide us. They, along with a host of various Divine messengers are just waiting to be asked to help. In fact, she stated that by our acceptance of their assistance, we are doing them a favor. As she shared those words, which I have heard many times before, tears sprung up and I really got it. I had this image of a row of cosmic cheerleaders with pom poms waving, kicking up their heels as they rooted for my transcendent touchdown.
She spoke of the grand opportunities she sees in 2012 which flies in the face of the mainstream media view of the cataclysmic end of the world
Candy sees it as a chance to experience positive shifts with dynamic outcomes. She invited us to engage in five specific practices that would enhance our lives.
- Practice Joy, making it our ‘new normal’. What if you could truly live in joy, immersing yourself in its bubbling over essence? Joy attracts more joy, pleasure, more pleasure. It is contagious and draws into our experience, other people who live in that juicy way as well. I’m all for that!
- Accept what is. The past is over and unless we can invent a time machine to return to it, it serves no valuable purpose except as a teacher of what to continue doing that worked and what never worked in the first place and we ought not to do THAT again. Once you take stock of where you are, consider whether you want to stay put, or move ahead.
- Raise your vibration. Her statement that “the planet is moving to a higher vibration”, calls for us to join in and amp ours up as well. She talks about “feeding our spirit” with loving thoughts, positive people, meditation, energy work, affirmations, exercise, being in nature and restorative sleep. Like attracts like, once again.
- Trust you Gift of Creation. Candy invited us to move beyond the gloom and doom mass consciousness mentality and into conscious creativity of what it is that we do want, rather than what we may fear.
- Take Guided Action. She sees this as a beyond expectation time to manifest from our heart’s desires. Calling on the angels, our spiritual tools and this transformative statement: “Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.”, coined by Emile Coue’ When used through the day, she shared, that it made a huge difference in the way she felt.
I felt a hardy YES! resonating through me as she reinforced “Everybody and everything is conspiring for my Highest Good. How about them apples?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lvz8AMvZKGo There’s A New World Coming by Mama Cass Elliot
Rev. Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW is a Renaissance Woman and Bliss Mistress who delights in inviting people to live rich, full, juicy lives. Edie is an internationally recognized, sought after, colorfully creative journalist, interviewer and author, a dynamic and inspiring speaker, licensed social worker, interfaith minister, offering uniquely designed spiritual rituals. In addition, she is a PR Goddess, promoting events and transformational teachers, healers, writers and artists. She speaks on the subjects of wellness, spirituality, sexuality, creativity, time management, recovery, body image, mindfulness, self esteem, stress management, re-creating yourself, caring for the caregiver, loss and grief. She is a frequent guest on radio and TV. Edie is currently writing her first best selling book entitled The Bliss Mistress Guide To Transforming the Ordinary Into The Extraordinary and is offering a workshop for women who want to re-create their lives, based on those concepts. A 20 year old journalistic vision came to pass in July of 2008 when she interviewed His Holiness The Dalai Lama. It was a potent reminder to never, ever, ever give up on our dreams. Over the years, Edie has written for mainstream and transformational publications. She has interviewed hundred of notables in the transformational fields, including Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Debbie Ford, Leonard Peltier, Shirley MacLaine, Michael Beckwith, Jonathan Goldman, Gregg Braden, Neale Donald Walsch, Mary Manin Morrissey, Dan Millman, Alan Cohen, Ram Dass, Jack Canfield, Jean Shinoda Bolen, Patch Adams, Ben and Jerry, Donna DeLory, James Twyman, Elizabeth Lesser, Michael Franti and Jean Houston. Her website is http://www.liveinjoy.org
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READ: Mindful Living ~ Life in Verse by Jacquelyn O’Brien
January 31, 2012 by Jacquelyn
Filed under •-Headline, Buddhism, Meditation, Meditation, Mindfulness, Yoga, Yoga
What’s your first thought when you wake up in the morning? You’ve probably heard it said that you can choose to start your day with ‘Good God, morning!’ or ‘Good morning, God.’ It’s certainly true that the way you begin can set the tone for the whole day and once the tone is established it can be very difficult to change.
I invite you to try a wonderful and simple technique to help you start your day in a positive and mindful way. When you wake up recite to yourself, either from memory or from a note by your bed, the following little verse, or gatha, from Thich Nhat Hanh.
Waking this morning, I smile.
Twenty-four brand new hours are before me.
I vow to live fully in each moment,
And to look at all beings with eyes of compassion.
Thich Nhat Hanh teaches that, as a young monk, he wrote this down and stuck it to his mosquito net so that it was the first thing he saw when he woke in the morning. It’s a wonderful way to begin the day with a moment of slowing down and setting a good intention.
I have found gathas incredibly useful for focussing my mind when I’m moving through my day and particularly during the more mundane activities of life. After all it’s at these times that we often allow our minds to wander down roads of worry and fear. In trying to live with mindfulness we attempt to prevent this from happening and gathas can be very helpful.
For example, when walking from one meeting to another replace the worries, false frettings and concerns that normally arise with a favourite gatha.
The mind can go in a thousand directions,
But on this beautiful path, I walk in peace.
With each step, a cool wind blows.
With each step, a flower blooms.
To focus on a gatha and prevent the monkey mind taking us down the rabbit hole of a thousand imagined and unlikely disasters is to remove a great deal of the worry and stress from the day. Try this simple technique and see what a difference it makes to you.
You can find a gatha for most daily activities in the wonderful ‘Present Moment, Wonderful Moment’ card and book set by Thich Nhat Hanh but you can also have fun making up your own. Good luck watering the seed of mindfulness in your life.
Many blessings and best wishes.
Namaste,
jacquelyn
Jacquelyn is a 500 hour Registered Yoga Teacher and Reiki Level Two practitioner. Yoga has helped her to overcome paralyzing fears and chronic pain and find her true purpose in life. Her focus is on encouraging those around her to have patience, kindness and compassion for themselves and the courage to stand, fearless, in their own light. Jacquelyn has studied meditation and mindfulness in the Shambhala tradition and with Thich Nhat Hanh. She teaches Gentle Yoga, Chakra Flow Yoga, EMpower Yoga, Beginners Yoga, Power Yoga, Learn to Meditate and a variety of workshops. www.balancedlifeyoga.ca
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READ: WHERE IS YOUR ATTENTION? By Cynthia James
January 26, 2012 by Cynthia James
Filed under •-Headline, Insights, Law of Attraction, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Reflection, Spiritual Guidance, Spiritual teachers, Spirituality
There are some people that are experiencing greater challenges than ever before in their lives. Others are experiencing spiritual awakenings that are awe inspiring. The news tells us that our culture is in a crisis mode and spiritual teachers tell us that this is a transformative moment in time. The question becomes; through what personal lens are you viewing life and the world around you? How are you framing the hard moments of feeling disconnected and afraid?
Most of us are clear that the setting of powerful intentions puts something in motion in the universe that can support a dynamic unfolding in our lives. I would like to suggest that we look beyond intention and see where we are placing our attention. Where we place our attention grows. What decisions are we making based on perceptions of lack and limitation? What behaviors are being activated out of fear and doubt? Are we seeing the potential for growth and personal expansion? Are we excited to open to the grand opportunities that are available in every moment? In other words, are we looking at the world through a glass that is half full or half empty? If it is half empty, we feel victimized by our circumstances. We feel helpless and overwhelmed. If we see life as a half full glass, we become enamored with the possibilities that are available in every moment. We begin to stand in a place of expectancy of good that will fill our cup to overflowing.
Here are some questions that may support placing your attention on powerful possibility potential:
1. Does my heart feel closed or open?
2. Am I afraid in this moment? Is the fear real or imagined?
3. Am I focusing on the past?
4. Am I worried about the future?
5. How is this fear serving to keep me feeling small and inadequate?
6. What is available for me to shift my thinking right now? (prayer, meditation, journaling, etc)
7. What ignites me and brings me joy?
8. If there were no obstacles, what would I be doing? Now do it, even if it is in a small way….there are no obstacles.
I encourage you to journal around these questions and then make a list of action steps that you will do to focus your attention on what you want. You do not want to place any energy on what you don’t want.
Take a moment to remember this:
I declare in this moment, that I am a space of pure potential. Bad news has no power over me. I enthusiastically choose my thoughts. I consciously choose my behavior. I joyously choose love over fear, harmony over discord and peace over pain. I am the captain of my ship and I sail the uncharted waters of expanded living.
Cynthia James is a transformational specialist guiding thousands of people to make changes for lasting healing in their lives. Ms James is a speaker, teacher, performing artist and the award winning author of “What Will Set You Free”. Cynthia has facilitated hundreds of workshops, and keynotes; including Celebrate Your Life, Woman Arising, the Gift in Shift, Colorado Behavior Healthcare Council, the Women’s Success Forum, the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Detention Facility, and many others. She is the founder of the Cynthia James Support Network; an online support community. Cynthia’s newest book, “Revealing Your Extraordinary Essence”, offers practical tools for self empowerment. www.CynthiaJames.net
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