WATCH: Award-winning author G. Brian Benson shares a personal, intimate story on the power of visualization
February 4, 2012 by G. Brian Benson
Filed under •-Headline, Arts & Entertainment, Insights, Law of Attraction, Personal Growth, Purpose, Reflection, Videos, Vision
G. Brian Benson (www.gbrianbenson.com) is a multiple award-winning author, award-winning filmmaker, actor, speaker, musician, entrepreneur, workshop facilitator, finisher of over 50 triathlons (including 4 Ironman distance races), cross-country bicyclist, inspirational poet and committed advocate of helping others be the best that they can be. Brian currently finished a movie project that he wrote, produced and acted in called Guitar Man that was filmed in downtown Reno, Nevada. The movie was written by Brian with the idea of sharing the messages ‘that we all have a lot in common’ and ‘that our true gifts reside within ourselves.’ It recently won an honorable mention prize in the 2011 Los Angeles Movie Awards. Brian is the author of five books, (Brian’s List and the eBooks The Art of Balance, Onward and Upward, Cave Man No More! and Discover Your True Self). His first book Brian’s List – 26 1/2 Easy To Use Ideas On How To Live A Fun, Balanced, Healthy Life! was the winner of a 2009 Next Generation Indie Book Award in the Self-Help category. It was also an Award-Winning Finalist in the Self-Help Motivational Category of the National Best Books 2009 Awards, sponsored by USA Book News” Brian considers himself an everyman who has learned how to trust his intuition and listen to his heart which has led him to follow his goals and dreams and make them reality! A graduate of Oregon State University with a degree in Worksite Health Promotion, as well as CTA (Coach Training Alliance), Benson lives in Reno, Nevada. In his free time he enjoys hiking, creative endeavors, acting, improv, sports, movies, travel, writing, hanging out with his son and playing the delta blues on his guitar.
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Now is the Time by Panache Desai
Now, humanity is at a time like no other. Planetary changes, social changes, personal changes ~ we are being served with a great opportunity… This film is made and offered to bring about a more loving world.
Tony Samara’s Third Eye Meditation
The meditation is very easy to do. Just simply find a comfortable space, take a few deep breaths so that you are able to let go of any thoughts, any feelings of any situations that you may have in your mind, in your consciousness. Simply come back to a space that is more peaceful, a space that is more free. As you breathe in and breathe out and feel this space,…
READ: MAKE THE OFFERING by Rick Hanson, M.D.
February 1, 2012 by Rick Hanson, Ph.D.
Filed under •-Feature, Buddhism, Health & Well-being, Insights, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Reflection, Vision
What could you offer?
The Practice:
Make the offering.
Why?
One of the strangest and most meaningful experiences of my life occurred when I going through Rolfing (ten brilliant sessions of deep-tissue bodywork) in my early 20′s. The fifth session works on the stomach area, and I was anticipating (= dreading) the release of buried sadness. Instead, there was a dam burst of love, which poured out of me during the session and afterward. I realized it was love, not sadness, that I had bottled up in childhood – and what I now needed to give and express.
We can hold back our contributions to the world, including love, just as much as we can muzzle or repress sorrow or anger. But contribution needs to flow; it stagnates and gets stinky if it doesn’t. Thwarted contribution is the source of much unhappiness. For example, the wound of loneliness and heartache is about not having others to give to as much as not having others to get from. And one of the major issues with adolescence in technological cultures is that there are few opportunities for teenagers to make a real difference, to matter and feel a sense of earned worth.
Now, “contribution” covers a lot of ground. It includes big things like raising a child, inventing the paperclip, or composing a symphony. But mainly it’s a matter of many little things. You give or receive hundreds of small offerings each day, such as doing the dishes, treating customers with respect, picking up a gum wrapper, encouraging a friend, having good intentions, or staying open to feedback. You contribute with thought, word, and deed, and both by what you do and by what you restrain yourself from doing.
In addition to the offerings you already make, you may sense other things inside that want to be offered. Can you open to these and let them flow? It does not matter how large or small they are. As Nkosi Johnson – a South African boy born with HIV who became a national voice for children with AIDS before dying at about age 12 – once said:
Do all you can, with what you have, in the time you have, in the place where you are.
How?
Appreciate some of the things you already contribute through thought, word, and deed. Let yourself feel good about this.
Moving through your day, try considering your contributions as offerings – particularly the little things that are easy to overlook, such as the laundry, courteous driving, or saying thanks. When you relate to everyday actions as offerings, you feel an intimacy with the world, more kindness, perhaps even something sacred.
Also try on a sense of being unattached to the results of your offerings. Sure, it’s OK to hope for the best. But if you get fixed on some outcome, it’s a set up for pressure and disappointment. I got a good lesson about this from my friend David, who was becoming a priest in an urban zen center and preparing for his first public talk. I asked David if it bothered him to work hard to present something precious to people who might not value it. He looked at me like he could not understand my question. Then he made a gesture with both hands as if he were setting something at my feet, saying: “My part is to give the talk as best I can. Whatever they pick up is up to them. I hope it’s helpful, but that’s out of my hands.”
It’s alright to make offerings from enlightened self-interest. When you give, you receive. Which helps you keep giving. To be benevolent to others, you must be benevolent to yourself.
Also listen to your heart for additional offerings calling to be expressed. Maybe it’s the offering of never speaking out of anger, or really starting that novel, or determining to give love each day. It could even be an offering to your future self – the being above all others you have the greatest power over, and thus the highest duty to – such as regular exercise or taking steps toward a better job.
Help yourself sustain this practice by feeling good about your contributions, regarding actions as offerings, staying focused on a key new offering, and holding self-criticism at bay. As Leonard Cohen sings:
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in
That’s how the light gets in
* * *
Rick Hanson, Ph.D., is a neuropsychologist and author of the bestselling Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom (in 20 languages) – and Just One Thing: Developing a Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time. Founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom and Affiliate of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, he’s taught at Oxford, Stanford, and Harvard, and in meditation centers worldwide. His work has been featured on the BBC, NPR, Consumer Reports Health, and U.S. News and World Report and he has several audio programs. His blog – Just One Thing – has over 30,000 subscribers and suggests a simple practice each week that will bring you more joy, more fulfilling relationships, and more peace of mind and heart. If you wish, you can subscribe to Just One Thing here.
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DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP by Rick Hanson, Ph. D.
The previous JOT – admit fault and move on – was about our relationship with other people. This JOT applies the same practice to ourselves. Most people know their less than wonderful qualities, such as too much ambition (or too little), a weakness for wine or cookies, something of a temper, or an annoying tendency to rattle on about pet interests. We usually know when we make mistakes, get the facts wrong, could be more skillful, or deserve to feel remorseful.,…
WHERE IS YOUR ATTENTION? By Cynthia James
There are some people that are experiencing greater challenges than ever before in their lives. Others are experiencing spiritual awakenings that are awe inspiring. The news tells us that our culture is in a crisis mode and spiritual teachers tell us that this is a transformative moment in time. The question becomes; through what personal lens are you viewing life and the world around you? How are you framing the hard moments of feeling disconnected and afraid?,…
READ: Soul Breathing by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
January 26, 2012 by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
Filed under •-Feature, Health & Well-being, Insights, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Reflection, Spiritual Guidance, Spiritual teachers, Spirituality, Vision
This week I felt the impulse to share a very simple practise I use to lower fear and be with any anxiety that arises. First, a little background.
One of the things I appreciate about the writing of Jungian analyst James Hollis is how direct he is about the challenges of being human. In Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life (as well as in his other books) Hollis tells us that in order to find and fulfill our purpose in life, in order to really grow up, we have to expand our capacity to tolerate anxiety, ambivalence and ambiguity. Why? Because, given the unpredictable and every changing nature of life there is going to be anxiety, ambivalence and ambiguity. When we were children and relatively powerless we understandably developed strategies to lower or distance ourselves from the discomfort of anxiety: some of us tried to earn safety by attempting to do things perfectly (me!) while others sought to escape through fantasy or whatever numbing substance/activity was available, (food, television, computer games) while still others became combative and rebellious. The problem is the anxiety management strategies we developed as children don’t work well for us as adults if we really want to be present, live our lives fully and co-create meaning in the world.
On the surface, this can be a hard sell: read this book or do this work and you’ll be able to tolerate more anxiety? May not be the catchiest marketing method. But the truth is we cannot experience and be fully present with joy if we are armoured against or busy trying to outrun the anxiety that’s part of normal human experience.
And there are moments, even when we are fully committed to being present with whatever is, that can simply feel like more than we can hold, moments (or days, or weeks) when our anxiety goes through the roof. Our palms sweat, our hearts pound, we can’t articulate a complete thought and/or we are racing around doing a thousand things to avoid feeling the anxiety. In those moments, it’s helpful to have a way to ground and strengthen our capacity to be with what is. I want to share one such practise here.
This method for being with anxiety without letting it paralyze or send us running from the room is deceptively simple. It comes out of my experience participating in and leading sweat lodge ceremonies. Now, if there’s anything that can and sometimes does raise anxiety it’s going into a small, dark structure filled with hot steam and other people you may or may not know, to do a ceremony designed in part to help you send out prayers from the heart centre of your being. And in ceremony there is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, no distraction, no way to use old strategies. So, one of the things I have often done myself and have instructed others to do when anxiety arises is- breathe through the soles of your feet.
I know, it sounds crazy, but try it. Wherever you are reading this, put your feet flat on the floor and imagine the earth below you. It may be several stories below you, but wherever you are, it is there- same earth as the one that’s there when you’re sitting on a beach or hiking in the wilderness.
Then, imagine that you are breathing through the soles of your feet, inhaling up from the earth through the bottom of your feet into your body, and exhaling back down through your body and out the soles of your feet into the earth. The beauty of this method is that although it grounds and calms, it does not take us away from what is happening within or around us. It just helps us lower our fear enough to be with what is. And you can do it anywhere: in the middle of a business meeting or at the dinner table with relatives. The more you practise it the more you can develop what is called split attention where a small part of your awareness is imagining your breath flowing in and out of your body through soles of your feet, while you are clearly and calmly answering a question in a job interview or explaining to a relative why you don’t have a “real job.”
So take this along with you today. Give sole/soul-breathing a try, because the soul really can hold it all.
From The Green Bough blog (c) Oriah Mountain Dreamer 2010
Oriah is the author of the international best-selling books: The Invitation, and The Dance, and The Call (published by HarperONE, translated into eighteen languages.) Her much loved poem “The Invitation” has been shared around the world. Trained in a shamanic tradition, her medicine name Mountain Dreamer means one who likes to find and push the edge. Using story, poetry and shamanic ceremony Oriah’s deeply personal writing and her work as a group facilitator and mentor explore how to follow the thread of our heart’s longing into a life where we can choose joy without denying the challenges of a human life. www.oriah.org www.oriahsinvitation.blogspot.com https://www.facebook.com/Oriah.Mountain.Dreamer?sk=wall
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READ: DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP by Rick Hanson, Ph. D.
January 24, 2012 by Rick Hanson, Ph.D.
Filed under •-Feature, Health & Well-being, Insights, Mindfulness, Personal Growth, Reflection, Vision
Are you hard on yourself?
The Practice:
Don’t beat up yourself.
Why?
The previous JOT – admit fault and move on – was about our relationship with other people. This JOT applies the same practice to ourselves.
Most people know their less than wonderful qualities, such as too much ambition (or too little), a weakness for wine or cookies, something of a temper, or an annoying tendency to rattle on about pet interests. We usually know when we make mistakes, get the facts wrong, could be more skillful, or deserve to feel remorseful.
Some people err on the side of denying or defending these faults ( a word I use broadly here). But most people go to the other extreme, repeatedly criticizing themselves in the foreground of awareness, or having a background sense of guilt, unworthiness, and low confidence.
It’s one thing to call yourself to task for a fault, try to understand what caused it, resolve to correct it, act accordingly, and move on. This is psychologically healthy and morally accountable. It’s another matter entirely to grind on yourself, to lambaste your own character, to fasten on the negative and ignore the good in you, to find yourself wanting – in other words, to beat up yourself. This excessive inner criticism tears you down instead of building your strengths; it’s stressful and thus wears on your mood, health, and longevity.
Nor does beating up yourself help others. Most of the time, they don’t even know you’re doing it, and if they do, they usually wish you’d stop it. Harsh self-criticism can also be a way to avoid feeling genuine remorse, taking responsibility, making amends for the past, and doing the hard work of preventing the fault in the future.
Further, the charges and scorn we throw at ourselves are often based on nasty scoldings, shamings, rejections, and humiliations experienced as a child: bad enough that they did this to you back then, and even worse that you’re doing it to yourself today.
How?
Pick a small fault – such as being a few minutes late, interrupting, or having too much dessert – and then try on two approaches about it. First, talk to yourself about it like a supportive but no-nonsense friend, coach, teacher, or therapist. Notice what this feels like, and what the results are for you. Let’s call this the encouraging approach. Second, talk to yourself about it like an alarmed and intense critic – maybe like your dad, big sister, or a minister or teacher talked to you. What’s this approach feel like, and what are its results?
Let the differences between approaches sink in. How do you feel inside when you’re “listening” to each one? What’s your sense of the influences in your life that have created each approach? What are the distortions or fixations on the negative in the critical approach?
Let a real conviction form as to which approach is better for you – and a real resolve to truly use the one that’s best for you.
Then, when you find a fault in yourself – no need to go looking, they appear on their own! – really try to use the encouraging approach. Name the fault to yourself and admit the facts of it unreservedly. Open to any appropriate remorse. Commit to skillful corrections for the future.
And then take a big breath and very deliberately name to yourself three strengths or virtues you have. Let the sense of them, and of your natural goodness, sink in.
And then take another big breath and move on.
* * *
Rick Hanson, Ph.D., is a neuropsychologist and author of the bestselling Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom (in 20 languages) – and Just One Thing: Developing a Buddha Brain One Simple Practice at a Time. Founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom and Affiliate of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, he’s taught at Oxford, Stanford, and Harvard, and in meditation centers worldwide. His work has been featured on the BBC, NPR, Consumer Reports Health, and U.S. News and World Report and he has several audio programs. His blog – Just One Thing – has over 30,000 subscribers and suggests a simple practice each week that will bring you more joy, more fulfilling relationships, and more peace of mind and heart. If you wish, you can subscribe to Just One Thing here.
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Admit fault and move on by Rick Hanson, Ph.D.
What gets you stuck? The Practice: Admit fault and move on. Why? Have you ever watched two people quarrel, or otherwise be stuck in a conflict with each other? Usually, if either or both of them simply acknowledged one or more things, that would end the fight. Read On…
LOVING A WABI SABI SLOPPY JOE by Arielle FordREAD: Wabi Sabi Love by Edie Weinstein
January 23, 2012 by Edie Weinstein
Filed under •-Headline, Books, Insights, Love, Reflection, Relationships, Vision
What if there was a guide to prevailing over the potential pitfalls and perils of the relationship journey that felt like a friendly hand to assist you in maneuvering the myriad mudholes? Today is your lucky day, if you are discovering Wabi Sabi Love: The Ancient Art of Finding Perfect Love in Imperfect Relationships. Written by Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret, it speaks to the challenges we face regardless of the longevity and form of relationship. It could as easily (as I have discovered) apply to parent child or platonic relationship as romantic partnership, although that was Ford’s intention in writing about “the ancient Japanese art form that finds beauty and perfection in imperfection. Wabi Sabi honors that which is imperfect, impermanent and incomplete. It finds beauty in most things modest, humble and unconventional.”Simple to put into practice exercises have fun titles, such as Learning to Go from Annoyed to Enjoyed which invites the reader to change perspective on a partner’s behavior that would have pushed buttons. Ford suggests listing the behavior and then 5-10 times when these actions might occur. She then delves more deeply by inquiring : How many more times am I willing to allow this situation to annoy me? What payoff do I get by finding fault? What does being annoyed keep me from having? Where did I learn to be annoyed by other people’s behavior? The next step is a stretch for some as it asks the reader to wonder how they can learn about themselves as a result and what gifts might be contained within the experience.
Rev. Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW is a Renaissance Woman and Bliss Mistress who delights in inviting people to live rich, full, juicy lives. Edie is an internationally recognized, sought after, colorfully creative journalist, interviewer and author, a dynamic and inspiring speaker, licensed social worker, interfaith minister, offering uniquely designed spiritual rituals. In addition, she is a PR Goddess, promoting events and transformational teachers, healers, writers and artists. She speaks on the subjects of wellness, spirituality, sexuality, creativity, time management, recovery, body image, mindfulness, self esteem, stress management, re-creating yourself, caring for the caregiver, loss and grief. She is a frequent guest on radio and TV. Edie is currently writing her first best selling book entitled The Bliss Mistress Guide To Transforming the Ordinary Into The Extraordinary and is offering a workshop for women who want to re-create their lives, based on those concepts. A 20 year old journalistic vision came to pass in July of 2008 when she interviewed His Holiness The Dalai Lama. It was a potent reminder to never, ever, ever give up on our dreams. Over the years, Edie has written for mainstream and transformational publications. She has interviewed hundred of notables in the transformational fields, including Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Debbie Ford, Leonard Peltier, Shirley MacLaine, Michael Beckwith, Jonathan Goldman, Gregg Braden, Neale Donald Walsch, Mary Manin Morrissey, Dan Millman, Alan Cohen, Ram Dass, Jack Canfield, Jean Shinoda Bolen, Patch Adams, Ben and Jerry, Donna DeLory, James Twyman, Elizabeth Lesser, Michael Franti and Jean Houston. Her website is http://www.liveinjoy.org
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Our True Value by Edie Weinstein
