What a Puppy Taught me About Conscious Parenting
April 8, 2011 by Gina
Filed under •-Feature, Conscious Parenting, Healthy Pets
My family has just welcomed a new addition into our fold, Max the mixed breed puppy. This is the second four legged friend I have been blessed with raising in my life so far. Our last dog, Norman the beagle, passed last summer after almost 15 years of mostly unconditional love and companionship (beagles can bea little particular with their affection). We finally decided to adopt because we just missed having a dog in our family way too much.
Immediately, I started noticing differences in our puppy parenting style. When my husband and I first got Norman, we were newly married, wrapped up in our careers, completely un-awakened and totally oblivious to the obvious mistakes we were making with our self centered ways. Now, however, we have been parents of human kids for over 12 years and currently have 3 of those; so our patience level has increased approximately 10,000 times. I have been a proponent of conscious parenting for a long time but this carefree little canine is teaching this old dog some new, or maybe just forgotten, tricks.
You see, with dogs, their reactions to our energy and their environment are immediate and very hard to ignore. I thought I had a handle on the atmosphere of our home and the vibe of our family, until Max came along. Soon, I realized we had become a bit complacent, settling for less than calmness and serenity. In a 3200 square foot house with 5 people, there is loudness; not in anger but just out of the need to communicate. I guess the members of our pack had gotten accustomed to this terrible habit of shouting, but Max has shown us the error of those ways and many more.
Lesson one: Raised voices, for ANY reason, and puppies do not mix. That behavior changes the energy of the surroundings and a dog will react with a myriad of unpleasant actions like peeing, barking, digging, and chewing just to name a few. My kids were not responding with any unusual behavior because they had become part of the problem. My family took note quickly and we are working on our tone with each other, trying to be more quiet, peaceful and respectful of our baby doggy (as my 6 year old calls him).
That was just the tip of the dysfunctional ice berg that I did not see until we were near a Titanic type situation. It became abundantly clear to all of us that puppies need attention; let me rephrase that, puppies need incredible amounts of endless attention and will seek to get it however they can.
Lesson two: only give attention to the positive behavior or you risk reinforcing the negative. Of course, this came easily to me as I had been using the technique with my own kids successfully; or so I thought. A repeated problem recently came up with my pre-teen daughter for a 3rd time, so instead of my usual course of long discussions and relinquishing of privileges; I thought I’d give the old ignore the negative behavior trick a try. She did receive a minor punishment that fit the crime and no further attention was given to the matter. She now happily rings a bell whenever she has to pee; oh wait, that’s the dog. The other side of the attention coin is making sure the positive behavior is not only rewarded, but celebrated and met with more interest than the negative. Sounds simple, but Max has made it apparent that our family is slightly self centered on their own interests (for example, he just tried to chew a pillow while I’m writing this).
Like children, puppies get cranky when they are tired. Lesson three: personal space is needed for quiet time. Just like a tantrum, you cannot allow a dog to terrorize your family with crazy energy that has no rhyme or reason. Therefore, it’s important to give them a quiet time just like people sometimes need. When my kids become moody or unruly, I simply send them in their rooms to settle down (when they were toddlers we called it a time out). In fact, Max is having a time out as I write and has calmed down within 5 minutes without me having to follow him around saying NO every 3 seconds because of his crazed outburst. Once the fit is over, parents must sit and comfort their kids (or puppies); love and affection always goes a long way and the kisses (or licks) we receive are their own reward for our patience.
Every day Max shows us what we need to improve. They say kids are a reflection of their parents and, while that is totally true, I’m finding that our puppy is an instant expression of our energy complete with undeniable signals. He has made our family uber aware and is teaching my kids direct lessons about being connected to other living beings and we are so grateful for it. He’s our personal energy-ometer and I’m hopeful that the forecast will remain much sunnier with him around.
If you are interested in more information about Conscious Parenting of the human variety, please visit my website and take a look at my book, “Truth Works, Divine Life Lessons for Kids of All Ages”. You can read a sample chapter and pre-order your copy at www.ginasendef.com.
The Goldilocks Syndrome
March 29, 2011 by Bradley
Filed under •-Headline, Healthy Pets, Insights, Short stories
Definition: An extreme sense of entitlement. Expectation of Manna falling from heaven without acknowledgment or gratitude. Named for the ungrateful character in Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
Twenty years ago, when my three year old daughter christened our tortoise Goldilocks, I always thought it was a very odd name for a beast with no visible hair on her gnarly body, blonde or not. Twenty years on, her appellation seems highly appropriate after all.
I failed to see what perhaps my daughter perceived that Goldilocks shares her namesake’s sense of entitlement. When the ‘real’ Goldilocks comes upon the cottage in the woods, she helps herself to whatever she finds. Not content to enjoy the amenities, she has the pluck to be fussy about everything she finds: one bed is too hard, one is too soft. As if everything exists for her pleasure, she never considers who it belongs to, that she might be imposing, doesn’t feel remorse after eating their porridge or breaking their furniture or feel the least bit grateful. Perhaps Goldilocks and the Three Bears can be seen as a way of teaching children how to be a better guest.
When Goldilocks (the turtle) is hungry, she rouses herself from the box where she sleeps and clatters into the kitchen. Especially when she detects cooking smells, she cranes her neck expectantly. More often than not, a chunk of curried beef, a raw shrimp (shelled and cut up) or a piece of mango drops in front of her. She eats (imagine a steam shovel tearing away at a piece of meat the size of a car), she defecates, and then returns to her box. To me, it feels like she has an expectation that tasty snacks fall from the sky when she is hungry…and she’s usually right. Any acknowledgement (apart from emptying her bowels), appreciation or gratitude is not part of this equation.
I chuckled at my turtle’s apparent sense of entitlement. I told my friends about her but then I began to notice that her attitude isn’t that unique. My teenage children appear when they are hungry, snacks materialize in front of them, they eat, and they leave, all with a disturbing lack of appreciation or gratitude. Could it be contagious? Is there something I’m doing wrong?
I have since dubbed this extreme form of entitlement, the Goldilocks Syndrome. I notice it at work and in many aspects of my life. I see it in beggars, princes’ and princesses, in General Motors and in those who expect something for nothing. My teenagers will grow out of it as they mature and learn that stuff doesn’t just fall from the sky. Like many of us, they become more grateful and appreciative as they learn how to fend for themselves. As for Goldilocks, there isn’t much I can do but toss her a chunk of mango once in a while and hope that food appears when she needs it.
Much Ado About Small Dogs-By Grace Ste.Croix
March 22, 2011 by Grace Ste. Croix
Filed under •-Headline, Healthy Pets
Cute, compact, fluffy and full of energy, small dogs are definitely a family favorite when it comes to picking out a perfect pet. They have the courage of a lion, but sometimes they can be as small as the palm of your hand. Small dogs leap and bound across our homes, taking often scary jumps from high feats, just to have the thrill of soaring for that one second. They will take on the biggest dogs and surely not be silent to let these bigger pets know that they will not be intimidated. Chatty, brave, boastful and sometimes bratty, small dogs have not only made a place in our homes but also in our hearts.
Twenty years ago, small dogs were much rarer in homes. The German Sheppard or Golden Retriever was a staple in a suburban house, but as more people in the city have an apartment style living, a compact pet is perfect for a small space in the sky. As medical releases show, many small dogs (primarily of the terrier breed) are hypo allergenic, which means that their fur does not disturb our sensitive allergies. No shedding means no hair to clean up and a lot less sniffles in your house!
Etiquette for the small dog differs from the big dog greatly. Whereas in a big dog’s home, it would be completely taboo for your plus sized pooch to jump on your guests as they enter the door, sit on your couches and chairs, or even beg and receive food from the table. Many small dogs get away with such rules, and are coddled and babied for doing so. Big dogs would definitely be scolded.
If a big dog was at a dog park and nipped another dog, chances are the dog’s owner would hear a scolding or in more extreme cases be sued. Small dogs’ fiery personalities have led them to incidences of nipping other dogs and most of the time it is disregarded. The small dogs are more likely to bite because they are fearful of being bullied, stepped on, or pushed around by the bigger pets. When one dog knocks down a big dog it will not do the same internal damage as a pint sized pet being thrown for a loop at the local dog park.
Small dogs are able to see more of the world! If you’re a traveler, many posh hotels don’t mind a cute little Yorkie being carried into their 5 star hotels then a big Doberman. Small dogs are accepted at a few restaurants, cafes and even shopping malls. Whereas the only bigger dog you would see in these places would be a working police dog or a seeing eye assistant.
Small dogs are easier to groom, require less food but the same amount of love. As small dog owners, we should exercise discipline. Whatever behavior we would not tolerate from a big dog should be the same as what we will deny a small dog. We must also keep a special eye on our defiant leapers. A big dog taking a spill would be a small measure compared to the hospitalization or even death of a tiny pup taking a gigantic leap. Proper training is essential to keep our tiny companions safe.
Our special little friends are an amazing addition to every family. As long as they’re trained and protected from potential harm to their fragile bodies, small dogs are unique, incredibly loyal, and wonderful pets. Enjoy your miniature guardian, loyal companion and adorable newest addition to your family!
How to wash your rabbit.
March 9, 2011 by Milana Vinokur
Filed under Healthy Pets
Today someone asked me for advice on how to wash their bunny. After I shared information, I realized that there may be others who may have a similar question. So I decided to share it with the rest of my friends.
There is actually no need to wash bunnies, as they are pretty good at grooming and keeping themselves clean. However, there are obviously occasions when our bunnies, especially white ones can get pretty dirty and we may have to come to their rescue.
If you wish to help our bunnies a little with staying clean, you may soak the facecloth in warm water, squeeze it out and just gently wash the areas that are dirty.
However, if you really want to give your bunny a little bath, it should be OK to do so, as long as you are gentle and bunnies don’t get scared by the experience. Remember, bunnies are fragile and can get worked up quite easily, so the experience has to be as calm and smooth smooth as possible.
Make sure there are no drafts in the area and the room temperature is comfortably warm. Get a little Rubber-made tub. If you don’t have a shower head that is attached to a long hose than get a separate large container as well. Fill Rubber-made tub with enough luke warm water so that it will reach up to bunny’s shoulders. Place the Rubber-made tub into your bath tub, than put some baby no-tears shampoo or special pet shampoo and swoosh it around so it dissolves in water and creates some bubbles. Don’t make it too bubbly.
Fill the other container with clean water that is warmer than water that is in the Rubber-made tub, because it will have to stand there for a a little while. Get your bunny, put one hand on the chest under the arms and with the other hand support the bum and the feet, than gently lower bunny into water. Make sure the water is not too cold, but also not too hot.
Talk calmly, softly and gently to your bunny while you are doing this. “That’s a good boy/girl!”, “Isn’t this nice!”, “Yes, what a good bunny!”, etc. Gently rub with your fingers/hands any areas that need to be cleaned while they are submerged under water, scoop some water in your capped hand and pour over the areas of the body that are not submerged in water. Always support your bunny with one hand and be prepared that it may try to escape. Also be prepared to get wet ☺ Your bunny may try to stand up on the hind legs. That’s OK, you can still pour water over it with your scooped hand or a small cup.
Make sure you don’t pour water over it’s head, eyes and ears. For that you will need a little face cloth. Wet it, than squeeze the excess water out and gently move it over the top of the head, cheeks and under the chin starting at the front towards the back. Do this only if it’s really needed. Make sure you start far away from the eyes and watch that no water drops or rolls down in the eyes. You may even place either your hand or another rolled up facecloth just above the eyes to stop the water from getting in. Don’t wash the ears and make sure no water gets in them to avoid any infection later on. Also keep watching that bunny doesn’t get water in it’s nose and mouth. I really wouldn’t do the head unless absolutely necessary.
When done washing with shampoo, lift bunny a little with one hand, holding it under the chest, tilt the container and let the soapy water run out. Place bunny down again and with the other container that has clean water in it pour it gently and slowly over the body making sure you don’t get the eyes and ears. Remember to keep talking to your bunny in a calm gentle voice.
When done, lift bunny with one hand and with the other gently squish the water out of it’s body, arms, legs and tail. Wrap them in a towel and gently rub them dry. Than wrap them in another, dry towel and just sit with them for a while petting them and talking gently, so that they may relax and get dry, so that they would avoid catching a cold from any drafts.
Now, no one knows your bunny’s personality better than you. So you would be the one who will need to decide whether your bunny is ready for a bath or not. Some bunnies are very laid back and will not struggle at all. In this case just make sure you keep them relaxed throughout the procedure. However, some bunnies may be “fighters”. You many have to hold them a little firmer at first until they calm down, but making sure you are not hurting them. However, if you see them getting really scared and excited, I would not go through with this, as you don’t want to risk scaring them too much. Always keep in mind, bunnies scare easily and have fragile hearts. Their safety should always be your number one priority.
The same bathing technique can be used on cats, small dogs and other small pets like guinea pigs, etc.
Good luck!
What I Learned From My Best Friend
February 28, 2011 by Rob Pavao
Filed under •-Headline, Family & Relationships, Healthy Pets
In my 42 years, I have experienced loss – the loss of grandparents, 2 uncles and a really good friend but none has filled me with more grief than when I lost my best friend and pet, Freddy.
Jason, my partner and I became proud parents of Freddy on November 21, 2000. It was wonderful when our neighbor knocked on our door to present us with our new family member. The first few weeks proved to be tough and we had to make some adjustments to our schedules to ensure Freddy’s comfort. Jason would come home for lunch just so that Freddy’s transition to his new home would not be too frightening. During this quick lunch hour, Freddy would simply curl up on Jason’s chest and soaked up all the love and warmth that Jason gave. I would take alternate shifts at work so that one of us would always be home with him. Vacations revolved around Freddy – we always decided where we would go and stay based on where we thought Freddy would feel most comfortable and safe. Jason and I were more than happy to make these lifestyle adjustments in order to provide Freddy with the best life possible.
Freddy allowed me to become more conscientious of our non-human friends and really became a deciding factor on my becoming a vegetarian. He was my pet but he was able to learn, to love and to feel. Why did it take me this long to understand that pigs, cows, fish and all other animals could do the same? Because of Freddy, I became more aware of what I ate, where I shopped, which companies conducted animal testing etc. I believe caring for Freddy sparked my conscious awareness and my spiritual journey.
Freddy was generally a happy dog – once you got to know him. He was very protective of Jason and I and would sometimes challenge our friends if they entered our personal space. Freddy would also warn Jason or myself if we got to close to each other. There were times when Freddy would intentionally sit in-between Jason and I to ensure we did not get too close. We called him ‘The Warden’, it was a nickname that made us laugh every time we used it.
We did endure some scary moments such as; Freddy going on a solo, unsupervised walk at a campground we belonged to, running into an elevator with his leash still attached – I was on the outside of the elevator and Freddy on the inside (Freddy and I both had to seek post-traumatic counseling after that incident) and running after me as I drove away to work one winter morning in my car. Jason decided to go to Mexico for a week with friends – that entire week Freddy stood vigilant facing the apartment door waiting for his return. I created a temporary bedroom in the living room to keep Freddy company and to ensure he ate his food during this week. No matter what happened, Freddy always came through.
Early in November of 2010, Freddy began experiencing severe coughing fits that became more frequent as the days passed. We brought him to our veterinarian and were told that Freddy had an enlarged heart and that he would not be with us for much longer. The veterinarian also indicated that he needed to start medication to help clear his lungs of fluid. This helped briefly but the attacks continued and we brought him in again. We saw another one of the veterinarians in the office and she indicated that he was far worse than the first diagnosis and that we had to talk about euthanizing him – we were shocked and asked if the diagnosis caused him any pain. She said yes. Jason and I decided we would not let Freddy endure any further pain and would let him go the following weekend. We also decided to have the veterinarian do the procedure in our home to ensure Freddy’s comfort – those were our plans, Freddy’s plans were different.
On the night of Wednesday November 19th, 2010 – Freddy seemed to be having continuous coughing attacks with little breaks in-between them. Every time he looked up at us, his beautiful brown eyes seemed to be pleading to us for help. It was heart-breaking. I hardly slept that night due to the anxiety I felt surrounding Freddy’s illness and it was reflected in my dreams. That night I dreamed I was visiting family – the surroundings were familiar and friendly until one of my sisters started yelling “something happened to Freddy”. She brought him over to me and laid him on a table. When I picked him up his body deflated and he lifted his head and looked at me with those big brown pleading eyes that suggested it was time for him to go home. I woke up with tears streaming down my face and leaned over and woke Jason up. I told him about my dream and explained that I believed that this was Freddy’s way of communicating his wishes to me.
The following day was to be Freddy’s day. He would have his favorite food (pizza) and we invited his favorite ‘uncle’ over to say goodbye. It was our final night with our wonderful precious dog.
Saturday November 21, 2010 was the roughest day of my life and Jason’s. We took Freddy for a long walk on the beach and gave him a hamburger to eat. We communicated words of love and that we would all be together again someday but most importantly, we ensured Freddy that he would not be uncomfortable anymore. You can not prepare yourself for a moment like this, you know it is going to happen, you know it will hurt but you just don’t know how much it will hurt. We said goodbye to Freddy exactly 10 years from his birth. The irony of Freddy’s passing was that Jason and I always knew that Freddy had a big heart, we just did not know that it would lead to his death.
Freddy’s legacy lives on in his son Bradley who just celebrated his 6th birthday. All of the lessons that Freddy taught me – lessons of patience, love, overcoming grief and respecting all living creatures are lessons I will carry with me until it is time for me to go home.
