READ: Gitmo or Gandhi by Ed and Deb Shapiro

I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent. Mahatma Gandhi

The prison camp at Guantanamo Bay, built on a legacy of fear, was established to deal with violent terrorists but, instead, became the cause of further suffering and chaos. It is a prime example of the mindless, cruel and inhuman way we abuse our fellow human beings. For despite whatever these men may or may not have done they are our human beings and inflicting pain, especially the methods used at Gitmo, achieves nothing but further pain. Two wrongs do not make a right; to meet violence with more violence does not bring peace. Closing Gitmo does not say we condone violence, but that we do not intend to continue to act in such a barbaric way.

Of course, there are those who oppose closing the camp. Fear is a powerful seductress waiting around every corner to grab our attention; hatred is like a snake always ready to bite. The nature of fear is to hold us back, to keep us in a place of closed heartedness. It will create an enemy even if one does not exist. Being fearless does not mean we have to stop or deny the fear; fearlessness is not a state of being without fear. Rather, it is fully feeling the fear, getting to know it, and then making friends with it.

If we divide reality into two camps—the violent and the nonviolent— and stand in one camp while attacking the other, the world will never have peace.  Thich Nhat Hanh, Noble Peace Prize Nominee

Mahatma Gandhi changed the course of history in India by proving that non-violence is more powerful than violence, bringing an end to British domination as he inspired millions of others to follow his lead. The Dalai Lama won the Nobel Peace Prize for practicing non-violence towards the invading Chinese. Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, Ang San Suu Kyi, and Archbishop Tutu have all stood out as practicing harmlessness or pacifism, often in the face of tremendous opposition, while Swami Satchidananda taught ahimsa or non-injury is the one practice in yoga that leads to Self-realization.

Deb was raised a Quaker, whose creed is found in the statement, To travel over the earth meeting that of God in every man. This is reflected in the Buddhist and Yoga teaching of ahimsa. This sounds so simple, but harmlessness actually requires a complete shift in attitude. In a world where selfishness and self-interest are the norm it takes great courage not to react with greed or anger, which only cause harm. Simply by causing less pain, each of us can bring greater dignity to or world. By recognizing the fundamental equality of all beings, harm is replaced with harmlessness, disrespect with respect.

We will always blame and condemn those we feel are responsible for wars and social injustice, without recognizing the degree of violence in ourselves. We must work on ourselves as well as with those we condemn if we wish to move towards peace. Thich Nhat Hanh

Aspiring to live harmlessly confronts us with the many ways we may be causing harm without realizing it, whether by ignoring someone’s feelings, by using more of the earth’s resources than we need, or by buying products made by underage and underpaid workers. What to do when ants or cockroaches invade the kitchen or slugs eat away at the vegetable garden, yet we do not want to harm them?

And how often do we do things that are hurtful or harmful to ourselves? How many times a day, subtly or otherwise, do we put ourselves down, reaffirm our hopelessness, dislike our appearance, or see ourselves as incompetent or unworthy? How much resentment, guilt or shame are we holding on to, thus perpetuating past negativity?

Are you ready to honor yourself and others? Is it not time to end the war within? For only then can we end the violence in the world.

Ed and Deb Shapiro are the authors of BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You And The World, with forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman and Winner of the 2010 Nautilus Gold Book Award. Deb is the author of the bestselling book, YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, winner of the 2007 Visionary Book Award. They are featured bloggers on Oprah.com/spirit, HuffingtonPost.com/Living, and Care2.com. They have 3 meditation CD’s: Metta — Loving Kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi – Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra – Inner Conscious Relaxation. See: www.EdandDebShapiro.com 

 

Read more from Ed and Deb Shapiro:

Why Do We Enjoy Making Fun of Others? by Ed and Deb Shapiro

What The Buddha Might Say To Mitt Romney by Ed and Deb Shapiro

 

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READ: Forgiving for a Living by Lauren G

Here is the proposition: Forgiveness as a Lifestyle

Some may be thinking that this sounds good, but how practical is it, really?  We just can not walk around here letting people beat up on us and saying that it is okay. It is not okay.

The general consensus is that forgiveness means that it is okay for others to do wrong. If they are forgiven, then they should not be punished.  This is because the word “forgiveness” has been used loosely in courts and by creditors.

So, we begin to define forgiveness as someone doing wrong and being let out of jail. Having to take no responsibility for their actions.  Forgiveness is also mistaken for someone who does not pay their debts being told they don’t have to be responsible for debts they created.  This is a perversion of the true meaning.

Forgiveness is for you. It releases you from the pain of the hurt. Forgiveness is only good for the other person, if they use it for themselves. Just because you forgive does not mean that you must allow the person to come back into your good graces.

If a person is intentionally hurting you, then by all means forgive (the painful memory) and move on. Leave that person in your past. You can not change them. You can only change yourself.

Forgiveness is giving up any hope of trying to change the past. You accept that it happened and you can not change it. You deny the memory any place in your mind and heart. What you are really forgiving is the memory, not really the person.

Forgiveness is a simple spiritual release. It is more than just a decision. After you decide to let go, you believe and trust that God (the Divine) can and will cleanse that painful memory from you. God can and God wills to do so.

My favorite and most simple method for forgiveness is Ho’oponopono. It is accomplished by saying and feeling (the feeling is important), these four healing phrases…

I AM SORRY

PLEASE FORGIVE ME

THANK YOU

I LOVE YOU

When you think of the painful situation apply these four healing phrases to it and you will feel the burden of the pain lighten. Say and feel the phrases over and over until you feel a spiritual release.  You will be amazed to see how the memory not only feels lighter, but eventually fades all together.

Be healed. Be well. More Love to You.

i AM she ~the Queen of Forgiveness~ 2 years walking the road of forgiveness, and I find that there really is nothing to forgive. If I am going to forgive a few minutes later, then why go through the trouble of getting upset, hurt or angry at all. I just know that I forgive and I am forgiven. This is my mantra to all. Forgive and be forgiven. Forgive yourself (as God already has), and forgive others as you have been forgiven. As you continue your walk in forgiveness, you will find that more than proverbially — there really is nothing (happening outside of you) to forgive. But for now, just forgive. — http://www.LaurenReliford.com

Read more by Lauren G: 

The Lost Art of Forgiveness by Lauren G

Inner Peace [Audio] by Lauren G

 

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READ: What Your Heart Has To Say by Ed and Deb Shapiro

Love is letting go of fear — Gerald Jamplosky

Love is in the air! Everywhere we see red hearts beaming from cards and boxes of chocolates. The color red is entrenched in our collective psyche as the symbol of love —a dozen roses do not have quite the same impact if they are yellow! But few of us realize how deeply our physical heart is entwined with our emotions.

When we fall in love our heart flutters, beats loudly, or leaps for joy; if we are rejected we are “heartbroken.” We are called “heartless” or “coldhearted” when we show no care, and “bighearted” when we extend our concern to others. When someone becomes our heart’s desire we have “heartfelt” feelings. We “take things to heart” when they are emotionally evocative, and we “talk heart to heart” about deeply personal issues. We love someone “from the bottom of our heart,” but are only “halfhearted” about something we are not emotionally touched by.

The heart is our emotional home where all our struggles, doubts and hurts are felt, as well as our longings, yearnings, joys and delights. This is seen in well-documented cases of heart transplants where the likes and dislikes of the heart donor are transplanted with the organ. One case was of Ellen who, after her transplant, developed a love for football and beer, things she had never gone near prior to the surgery. Turns out, of course, that the donor had been a football fanatic. In another case, a woman found that she had a great longing to swim and eventually she trained for the US Transplant Games and won a bunch of medals. And yes, you guessed it, prior to the operation she had never been an athlete but she had been given the heart of an avid swimmer.

The main emotional job of the heart is love and all its many manifestations, for love rarely flows smoothly. We may experience childhood conflicts, hurt or loss, and if the pain is too big to deal with we lock it away inside. This can lock us out of our heart so that the ability to express our loving feelings becomes limited. We may become mistrustful, uncaring, prejudiced and fearful, even closed to our own need for love. In England, where Deb grew up, many boys are raised to not show their feelings but to appear brave and strong: the saying goes that brave boys don’t cry. In adult life that can mean they may be unable to express gentleness, caring or loving qualities.

Love is expansive and all embracing, reaching out to others; while its opposite, fear, is contractive and exclusive. Love can embrace fear, but fear without love can become paranoia. Love gives life meaning and direction. The Native Americans, when they first met the white man, are known to have said how strange it was that, the white man thinks with his head instead of his heart.

Learning to open our heart, to listen to, respect and trust what we feel, is one of life’s most powerful experiences. The heart is like a king while the mind is like the king’s advisors, as Alexander Lowen describes in his book Bioenergetics. The advisors go out into the world to see what is happening and then report to the king on the state of his kingdom. However, the king makes his own decisions based not on what each individual advisor might say, but on his own intuitive and deeper understanding of the bigger picture. That decision may appear illogical, but it is invariably the right one. In other words, when we listen to our heart and make decisions based on what it is saying, rather than what our mind is saying, then it is invariably the right decision. Even though the heart may appear illogical or irrational, intuitively we know that it is more meaningful than all the arguments the head may use to counter it.

The heart is more than just the center of love, it is also the center of our being, the place we point to when we talk about ourselves and our feelings. When we say, “you have touched my heart” we are really saying “you have touched the deepest part of my being.” In other words the body, mind, and emotion connection could not be clearer. To understand this more, see Deb’s award-winning book, Your Body Speaks Your Mind.

So, now is the time to let your heart sing! To let it speak, share, and express its deepest feelings.

****

See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kornfield, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Byron Katie, Jane Fonda, Marianne Williamson, and many others.

Deb is the author of the award-winning YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, Decoding the Emotional, Psychological, and Spiritual Messages That Underlie Illness.

Our 3 meditation CD’s: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

Ed and Deb Shapiro are the authors of BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You And The World, with forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman and Winner of the 2010 Nautilus Gold Book Award. Deb is the author of the bestselling book, YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, winner of the 2007 Visionary Book Award. They are featured bloggers on Oprah.com/spirit, HuffingtonPost.com/Living, and Care2.com. They have 3 meditation CD’s: Metta — Loving Kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi – Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra – Inner Conscious Relaxation. See: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

 

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READ: To Forgive But Not Forget by By Allan Lokos

“To forgive does not necessarily mean to forget. Sometimes to forget is not wise, but to forgive is wise. And it is at times not easy. It can, in fact, be quite challenging. It will come as no surprise that one of the most difficult people to forgive can be yourself. Yet with patience and gentle determination, it can be done.”

We’re going to look at one of the perfection practices known as the paramis (see below). It’s the practice of nekkhamma, which we translate as “renunciation” or “relinquishing.” It means letting go: letting go of material things as well as views, concepts, ideas to which we may have been clinging for years, things that cause us stress, suffering, dukkha.

A simple action that can be helpful in terms of relinquishing is this: on a regular basis—perhaps once or twice a year— choose something to give away. Not some old relic you don’t care about any more, but something you do care about, that has value to you. There’s no need to go overboard by giving away something that will change your lifestyle or will make the kids resent you for the next twenty years. Give away something you like yet are willing to relinquish. During the entire process of selecting and relinquishing, be mindful of your feelings. This can be more challenging than it may at first appear, but it can help us prepare for the day when we must relinquish all that we hold dear.

Now, what about views and concepts? Relinquishing is the ground for practicing “beginner’s mind.” It helps us see things anew, as they really are; to be willing to listen to the thoughts and ideas of others with an open mind. So the relinquishing of thoughts and ideas about which we have been adamant can give us a sense of freedom, joy, and spaciousness. It can feel as if a weight has been taken from our shoulders. However, this also may be easier said than done. We might wonder, “Am I giving up something that I should believe in?” So relinquishing offers an opportunity to look more deeply at our beliefs.

Sometimes we have been holding onto anger or bitterness related to a particular person or event. Something to think about is: What would I have to give up in order to free myself from this bitterness? We might think, “Well, yes, but what he or she did was absolutely unforgiveable.” Consider the possibility, and I am only saying consider the possibility, that maybe nothing is unforgiveable. Maybe there is a way to find forgiveness even for what we have believed for so long to be unforgiveable. Explore this mindfully.

To forgive does not necessarily mean to forget. Sometimes to forget is not wise, but to forgive is wise. And it is at times not easy. It can, in fact, be quite challenging. It will come as no surprise that one of the most difficult people to forgive can be yourself. Yet with patience and gentle determination, it can be done.

Parami (Pali), Paramita (Sanskrit): literally, perfection, or crossing over (to the other shore).

The paramis are practices that can lead one to the perfection of certain virtuous or ennobling qualities. They are practiced as a way of purifying karma and leading the practitioner on a path to enlightenment. In the Theravada tradition, the ten paramis are dana (generosity), sila (morality), nekkhamma (relinquishing), panna (wisdom), viriya (effort), khanti (patience), sacca (truthfulness), adhitthana (determination), metta (lovingkindness), upekkha (equanimity). In the Mahayana there are six paramitas: generosity, morality, patience, effort, concentration, and wisdom.

It is interesting to note that the parami of generosity comes first, before the other practices, even morality. Some commentators suggest that the list begins with the easiest practice and becomes progressively more challenging. Another view is that until one sees the interconnected nature of phenomena and has a heart open to the needs of all beings, the other paramis can remain beyond reach. With practice, the virtuous qualities become stronger and support one another. Generosity supports relinquishing, which supports morality, which supports truthfulness, which supports wisdom, which supports equanimity, and so forth.

The paramis are seen as the heart of our true nature but greed, hatred, and delusion cause them to become somewhat blurred. Practicing the paramis is said to help us see in a different, more beneficial way. His Holiness the Dalai Lama has said, “These deeds, called the perfections, constitute the essential and comprehensive path to enlightenment, combining method and wisdom.” Thus the paramis are important practices for one who seeks to become an awakened being and to end the cycle of samsara, or cyclic existence. The key point to remember is that the paramis are offered not as philosophy but as practices. To be effective, practices need to be practiced.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ALLAN LOKOS is the founder and guiding teacher of The Community Meditation Center in New York City. He is the author of Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living and Pocket Peace: Effective Practices for Enlightened Living. His writing has appeared in The New York Times, Tricycle magazine, The Huffington Post, Beliefnet, Back Stage newspaper, and the anthology, Audacious Creativity. He has taught at Columbia University Teachers College, Albert Einstein College of Medicine, Marymount College, The Rubin Museum, New York Insight Meditation Center, The New York Open Center, Tibet House USA, and Insight Meditation Community of Washington. http://www.cmcnewyork.org/

 

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READ: Forgiveness is Choosing to Love by Pragito Dove

“Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love.”
– Mahatma Gandhi

Do you find it easy to forgive people who have hurt or abused you in some way? I didn’t until I started to understand that I was hurting myself more by maintaining a tight knot of resentment and anger towards the people who had wronged me. As I learned to love myself, and make loving myself more important than hating the other person, a profound shift happened within me. I felt more loving not only towards myself, but towards everyone and all situations in my life. This shift in perspective produced  a feeling state of relaxation, ease, and trust that all was right with my world, that I was divinely taken care of, that I was ok. I gained in self-confidence, courage and compassion.

(Forgiving your abuser does not make what they did ok,  nor does it mean that you have to spend time with them. If they are truly remorseful, then perhaps you can patch things up. If they are not, continue on your way.)

This feeling state of choosing to love, rather than being resentful, takes you to a higher vibrational level of the Law of Attraction to attract good things to you. It’s a win-win for YOU. As regards the other person, that is not your business.

Mind Your Own Vibration:

Your business is to mind your own vibrational level and keep it high with love, happiness and joy. This takes focus, energy and attention and reaps rich rewards. When you take focus off the other person and keep it on yourself, you don’t get sucked into the vibration-lowering energy of blame, resentment and anger. Being unforgiving keeps you at the lower vibrational level of your abuser. Forgiving is a choice that raises your vibrational level as high as you want. You move from victim to mastery of your life. How wonderful is that?

 Watch the Ego:

Here we have to be vigilant because the ego likes to be right. It wants to take revenge, get even, hurt back. Now, here’s where you have to be careful.  It’s highly likely, almost certain, that you are right: that person should not have hurt you. However, getting revenge does not serve YOU. Know that the abuser is creating their own negative vibration and activating Newton’s 3^rd Law of Motion which states that every action creates an equal and opposite reaction, sometimes known as the Law of Cause and Effect, sometimes known as Karma, or “what goes around comes around”.   We must choose, therefore, between being right and being happy. And, believe me, being happy is the best choice!

Feel Love Expanding:

As you continue to put your energy, attention and focus on being happy, a miracle occurs. Love grows and expands, filling up your inner well and then overflowing for others to share and enjoy.

Experience Gratitude Arising:

A further gift we receive is experiencing the ease with which gratitude arises. Being thankful for all our experiences magnifies our happiness. Gratitude lifts us into a realm of possibility where dreams really can come true. It helps us access a place where trust, creativity and imagination reside.

As you live joyfully and contentedly, regardless of the situation, regardless of what you have or don’t have, you discover that joy is not dependent on anything, or anyone. It arises from within you. It is already there, you already have what you seek.

Meditation: Choose Love

Benefits:

When you choose love over a negative reaction, you bring yourself to a higher vibrational level of joy, peace and happiness. You therefore attract more love. Your life becomes easier, more fulfilling, and purposeful.

Love is Truth. Whenever you speak your truth, love is there. Love for yourself, that is, because the other person might not agree with or like what you say. Love, however, has a depth and a resonance that will keep you in alignment with your true self and serve you. You might not understand how right away, but in time all things become clear.

Always choose love. Bring love to the situation, even if you are the only one doing so.

Pragito Dove M.A., C.C.H. is the leading authority on Expressive Meditation in North America. Using the principles she now teaches, Pragito transformed her pain and fear into joy and inner peace.  Founder of the Laughing Buddhas Network and an internationally recognized master trainer, speaker, and meditation expert, Pragito is the author of two best-selling books, Lunchtime Enlightenment (Penguin Group), and Laughter, Tears, Silence (published in six languages). She has a private practice in Northern California from where she teaches highly acclaimed programs such as the Laughter Meditation Teleclass Program Series to an international audience! Pragito’s website is:www.discovermeditation.com

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