READ: Fresh starts showcased in the film ‘Marigold Hotel’
May 11, 2012 by Brent Marchant
Filed under •-Feature, Aging, Arts & Entertainment, Health & Well-being, Law of Attraction, Movies
A group of British retirees (from left, Maggie Smith, Ronald Pickup, Bill Nighy, Penelope Wilton, Celia Imrie, Judi Dench) embark on a fresh start in India in the charming new comedy, "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel." Photo by Ishika Mohan, courtesy of Fox Searchlight Pictures.
Facing the autumn of one’s life can be challenging in many ways. Coming to terms with the realities of having fewer, rather than more, years ahead, as well as the increasingly debilitating effects of age, are daunting enough. But what if the means to live out those remaining days in comfort are in peril, too? This combination of elements might seem deflating or overwhelming to some, but, with one’s independence, dignity and survival at stake, the more adventurous and innovative among us may elect to take some extraordinary, uncharacteristic or even drastic measures to make the most of those circumstances, as seen in the delightful new comedy, “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.”
Newfound friends Evelyn Greenslade (Judi Dench, left), Graham Dashwood (Tom Wilkinson, center) and Douglas Ainslie (Bill Nighy, right) explore the wonders of Jaipur, India, their new home, in director John Madden's "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel." Photo by Ishika Mohan, courtesy of Fox Searchlight Pictures.
* For Evelyn Greenslade (Judi Dench), the golden years look a lot bleaker than she had once anticipated. The lifelong, recently widowed housewife is forced into selling her residence to pay a backlog of debts left by her deceased husband, saddling her with a very uncertain future.
* Retired housekeeper Muriel Donnelly (Maggie Smith) needs hip replacement surgery but faces a six-month wait unless she’s willing to try something a little more radical – not an easy decision for someone very set in her ways and her outlooks.
* Bored with his career and his life, Judge Graham Dashwood (Tom Wilkinson) can no longer continue with an existence that leaves him unsatisfied and longing for something more fulfilling. His search for genuine happiness clearly requires more than what his current routine can provide.
* Career civil servants Jean and Douglas Ainslie (Penelope Wilton, Bill Nighy) approach retirement community living with mixed feelings. Jean believes she deserves something better than what’s on offer and doesn’t hesitate to make her dissatisfaction known. Douglas, meanwhile, tries to assuage her, agreeing to pursue other options if doing so will help keep the peace in their increasingly precarious relationship.
* Spunky skirt-chaser Norman Cousins (Ronald Pickup) feels like a spry 40-something, even if his chronological odometer indicates otherwise. Nevertheless, how he feels, and how others react to his advances, such as the actual 40-somethings he tries to court, are two entirely different matters. Maybe it’s time for Norman to turn his attention elsewhere.
* Madge Hardcastle (Celia Imrie) loves her family, but she tires of the demands they regularly place on her time, such as frequent requests for babysitting her young grandchildren. As someone who wants to enjoy life more in her remaining years, she yearns to take off and be a free spirit while she can – something she just might do.
Given their prevailing circumstances, the retirees each decide they need to pursue alternate paths. In doing so, they all stumble upon advertising for what seems to be the perfect solution to their respective situations – the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel for the Elderly and Beautiful. The ads for this affordable but luxurious facility promise its guests grand accommodations in a classic setting in the lively, colorful Indian city of Jaipur. Everyone jumps at the opportunity, making reservations to move into this elegant pleasure palace. But there’s just one catch: the hotel is nothing like what’s in its promotional materials. In fact, the decrepit structure is not far from collapsing, its walls propped up by assorted forms of jerry-rigging and the infectious, if sometimes-unrealistic enthusiasm of hotelier Sonny Kapoor (Dev Patel).
Sonny struggles incessantly to keep his faltering business afloat. He does all he can to appease his disgruntled guests, many of whom are ready to turn back upon arrival, and his overbearing mother (Lillette Dubey), who constantly criticizes Sonny, forever flaunting his brothers’ success in his face. He also strives to please his girlfriend, Sunaina (Tena Desae), an educated, upwardly mobile young woman whom he worries will leave him for someone more financially stable. It’s quite a full plate for the wily young entrepreneur.
But, thanks to a hefty dose of Sonny’s charm and the newfound friendships that spring up among the recent arrivals, the guests decide to stay. They thus embark on new journeys of personal discovery, some on their own and some by way of interactions with the hotel staff, the locals or each other. Their individual odysseys end up offering them possibilities for fresh starts unlike anything they could have possibly imagined before they left England.
At some point in our lives, fresh starts are welcome developments in the wake of unrelenting sameness, though, admittedly, embracing such changes can become more difficult for many of us as we age. As we allow the beliefs that shape our realities through the conscious creation process to settle in and become comfortable, we’re more likely to look askance at possible upheavals in our routines, summarily rejecting them even before examining what they have to offer. We might even try justifying our resistance with arguments like “we’re too old for this sort of thing.” But are fresh starts only meant to be the provenance of the young?
The very emergence of such manifestations indicates that there’s some part of us deep down inside that wants to usher change into our lives, no matter how old or young we are, but the more we resist those impulses, the more imposing, even threatening, they’re likely to appear in subsequent iterations. They may ultimately give rise to circumstances that appear as if change is being foisted upon us, with unwanted consequences and overwrought drama coming along for the ride.
Go-getter hotelier Sonny Kapoor (Dev Patel) welcomes his recently arrived English guests to their new Indian home in "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel." Photo by Ishika Mohan, courtesy of Fox Searchlight Pictures.
In many ways, this is where the guests of the Marigold Hotel find themselves at the film’s outset. They’re at the point where they’ve put off making change for so long that they now find themselves, metaphorically speaking, with their backs up against the proverbial wall. Their inner selves are telling them that change is imperative and that the only real decision they need to make is to choose how to react to the impending circumstances.
Many of us have come to fear change, that the disappearance of the familiar will leave us sad, disoriented or less well off than we’ve grown accustomed to being. But it need not be that way at all. Change just means doing something differently, and it doesn’t automatically equate to things being worse than they have been; it could indeed be the start of something far better than we could have possibly imagined but that we have not previously permitted to materialize. Allowing change of an especially positive nature can be truly life affirming, especially for those nearing the ends of their corporeal journeys. After all, as many of us have no doubt experienced, basking in the illuminated brilliance of sunny autumn days can be some of the most rewarding times of the year. The residents of the Marigold Hotel come to see this for themselves, once they’re willing to allow it to happen.
Recently widowed housewife Evelyn Greenslade (Judi Dench, left) and free-spirited grandmother Madge Hardcastle (Celia Imrie, right) take in the sights, sounds and sensations of Jaipur, India in "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel." Photo by Ishika Mohan, courtesy of Fox Searchlight Pictures.
“The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” is a charming release, full of life, vibrancy and gentle humor. Its exquisite cinematography and mesmerizing soundtrack combine to paint a lush portrait of an exotic land in all its beauty and all its challenges. The excellent ensemble cast blends well together, though the writing sometimes fails them when it comes to the degree of interaction the principal characters have with one another (even though they’re each following their own paths, it would have been nice to see those paths cross one another a little more than they do). The script also falls prey to a certain degree of predictability, but then that’s compensated for by an equal measure of surprise, offsetting that minor shortcoming.
The picture is already getting some Oscar buzz, though, realistically, I think it’s being released far too early in the year to be remembered by Academy voters later on. Nevertheless, if 2012 proves to be another weak year for movies, it could be a contender in some of the technical categories, as well as for some of the performances, particularly those turned in by Wilkinson, Nighy and, of course, Dench.
This picture serves as a valuable reminder that time passes in this life far faster than most of us often realize and that, because of that, we’d better make the most of it while we can, especially when the hourglass is running out. In life as in the movies, I’ve found that some of the most rewarding moments come toward the end of the picture. And to get the most out of them, it’s up to us to savor those times before the credits roll.
Copyright © 2012, by Brent Marchant. All rights reserved.
Retired housekeeper Muriel Donnelly (Maggie Smith) attempts to adjust to her new surroundings while recovering from hip replacement surgery in the delightful new comedy, "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel." Photo by Ishika Mohan, courtesy of Fox Searchlight Pictures.
READ: Infertility ~ Age is an Age Old Problem by Mache Seibel, MD
April 26, 2012 by Mache Seibel MD
Filed under •-Headline, Aging, Health & Well-being, Videos
It’s been 30 years since I performed the first successful in-vitro fertilization procedure in Massachusetts, the third in the country. We’ve had many breakthroughs since that time to help infertile couples have a baby who might otherwise not have been able to. But one thing hasn’t changed; the impact of age. The chances of a woman naturally having a baby after age 35 decline by about 50% and decline by about 90% after age 40. Infertility is defined as one year of attempting conception without success.
Celebrities are often seen in the news seemingly able to have a baby after age 40 with ease. They often don’t disclose that they obtained eggs from a younger woman, a procedure called egg donation. So if having a baby is in your future plans, get started before age becomes a factor. If age is a factor, don’t wait to be seen. If you’re over 35, see an infertility expert if you don’t conceive naturally within 6 months. If you’re over 40, be seen after 3 months of unsuccessfully trying. Making a baby takes time.
For those of you who’ve struggled with infertility, I know how stressful it can be. Because of that, I wrote this poem about the invisible loss that occurs and want to share it with you now in honor of Infertility Awareness Week.
Infertility: The Child Who Might Have Been
The simple union of man and wife
In love creates a brand new life
A child to cherish, play with and be
Their link with immortality
What bliss and joy they anticipate
Unless infertility becomes their fate
And buries dreams which die within
As they mourn their child who might have been
© Mache Seibel, MD
Do you know someone who’s had infertility or experienced it yourself? Forward this and post any comments you have. Are you or someone you know planning a pregnancy soon? You’ll find this interactive pregnancy planner and journal helpful; it’s called Journal Babies.
Machelle (Mache) Seibel, MD is one of America’s top health communicators. Whether speaking, consulting, writing or composing he teaches people the health information they need and the perspective they require to stay well. His passion is to help America stay well. “It’s better to stay well than to get well.” Professor and Director, Complicated Menopause Program, University of Massachusetts Medical School 2004-Present Founder of HealthRock®, reshaping health education with music and entertainment Harvard Medical School faculty nearly two decades Past Medical Director, Inverness Medical Innovations (now Alere) 2008 Recipient, Ashbel Smith Distinguished Alumnus Award, the University of Texas Medical Branch’s highest honor Multiple national awards for research, writing, music and patient education received Author/editor 14 books, over 200 scientific articles, past editor-in-chief of the medical journal Sexuality, Reproduction & Menopause Advisory board of Dr. Mehmet Oz’s HealthCorps initiative to fight childhood obesity Repeatedly voted into Best Doctors in America Hosted PBS and NYC TV episodes, frequent media expert http://www.doctorseibel.com/
Read more from Mache Seibel, MD:
Is Your Health Powered by Love? by Mache Seibel, MD
Huey Lewis sang about “The Power of Love.” Now a relatively new field called interpersonal neurobiology is proving your brain is constantly in a state of being rewired based on life and love. And the basis of it all is our interpersonal relationships; those contacts we love deeply, and those we love, well, a whole lot less.
Yoga ~ A Menopause Alternative to HRT by Mache Seibel MD
Twenty years ago during a particularly stressful period of work, I began taking a yoga class as a non-pharmacologic antidote. I was running a center for reproduction and women’s health, working 24/7 and needed a way to relax. I had the good fortune to enroll with a yogini named Hari Khar Khalsa, and I took classes from her for a period of time. One day after class I asked her if she would be interested in teaching a yoga class to my patients to lower their stress. We began a series of yoga classes with the first hour consisting of us sitting on mats on the floor with my patients and discussing a health topic. I called them “Mat Chats.” The second hour was devoted to yoga with a focus on the medical topic we had just covered.
READ: Sex, Love, and Spirit by Mahasatvaa Ananda Sarita
April 11, 2012 by Mahasatvaa Ananda Sarita
Filed under •-Feature, Aging, Intuition, Love, Meditation, Meditation, Relationships, Sexuality, Tantra
Evolution is an integral aspect of each life form. We evolve physically, mentally and spiritually, in ever ascending spirals, moving from order to chaos, and from chaos to a higher level of order, and so on ad infinitum. The chaos factor is necessary, in order for old patterns, which no longer serve us, to break down and dissolve. As we discover how to accept these life changes and learn from them, life becomes ever more rich and inspiring with each new cycle.
An area where evolution of body and psyche is very apparent is the arena of relationship. It is considered normal for two people to feel sexually attracted to each other, and jump into bed to experience sexual ecstasy together. The heat of sexual experience, if lived deeply and totally, will naturally give rise to feelings of love and a desire for emotional intimacy. The couple may then decide to live together, and explore the shift from ‘honeymoon hormones’ to ‘nesting hormones.’ This phase may include giving birth to children and raising them. However, life should not end there.
In the usual scenario, a couple will move from parenthood to grandparenthood, and from there into old age and into assisted living, waiting for inevitable death. This pattern brings with it, feelings of depression and even desperation, the reason being that life has much more to offer. And if we do not live what is offered by existence, we feel, quite rightly, like we have missed the train.
If individuals and couples learn meditation and apply this to sexuality, love and relating, as happens in Tantra, a wonderful opportunity opens up. Powerfully lived sexuality, coupled with awareness, naturally blossoms into love. And when love is deeply lived as a path of meditation, it very naturally evolves into prayer. My definition of prayer is, when each cell of the body is attuned to source, and we sense ourselves to be an open conduit for ever-flowing divine energy.
Sex, love and prayer is all the same energy, lived in different ways. It is like having a 3-story house. It is the same house, but the experience of the 3 floors will each be uniquely different. Our life experience goes on expanding to include more of our evolutionary potential. In this sense, as we get older, we do not have to degenerate, but can continue to evolve, discovering more of who we are in relation to the whole.
That is why, in our ancestral past, elders were highly respected. It was understood that they had evolved into higher wisdom, having more of an overview of the full spectrum of life.
And there is another step, which is even more profound than linear evolution. If we are able to expand our consciousness to include all three aspects at once, we become one with all that is. The merging of sexuality, love and spirituality as one organic unity, is an enlightened state of consciousness. It is a big yes to life in it’s totality.
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WOMEN’S SEXUAL ANATOMY
Sarita is a world renowned Tantra master and mystic offering courses and retreats across the globe. Having received a direct transmission from Osho, she is true to the spiritual essence of Tantra and leads us on the path to self realisation. At the same time she takes care to help us transcend the psychological blockages that we carry as a result of our cultural background and past experiences. She is also a master healer, author and consultant. website: http://www.tantra-essence.com
Read more from VividLife.me bloggers:
Tantra and the Divine Feminine by Mahasatvaa Ananda Sarita
In the last 2000 years or so, women have been considered to be the weaker sex in much of the so-called civilized world. In actual fact, women have simply forgotten how to access their own power, the Divine feminine. In Lao Tzu’s Tao Te Ching, he says:
Tantra and the Divine Masculine by Mahasatvaa Ananda Sarita
The Divine Masculine is a timely subject for 2012, as this is the year when the old world transmutes into a new world, according to the famous Maya predictions. Bring it on! The old world has been dominated primarily by an imbalanced masculine, which shows itself in the number of wars and general raping of planetary resources. This has happened because the masculine has been divorced from the feminine for a few thousand years, and by so doing has gone into a fevered testosterone fueled orgy of competition and destruction. I am by no means saying,…
READ: Hot Flash Treatments for Breast Cancer Patients by Mache Seibel, MD
January 9, 2012 by Mache Seibel MD
Filed under •-Feature, Aging, Health & Well-being, Holistic Living
One of the most common concerns among breast cancer patients is how to deal with hot flashes. They are a huge problem that affects the quality of life for over half of women treated with endocrine treatments. In fact, hot flashes are the number one reason they think about stopping treatment. HRT is very effective but it can almost never be used due to risk. So I want to share some of the alternative treatments to HRT for you to discuss with your doctors. There are also many women who don’t have breast cancer who either can’t or don’t want to take HRT for the low estrogen symptom of hot flashes. This will help you as well.
Here are options I discuss with my patients to help them turn down the heat:
One simple thing is to ask your doctor to check your vitamin D level (get a 25-OH vitamin D). Low levels are very common and if yours is low, it can increase your risk for heart disease, breast cancer, brittle bones and increase hot flashes. Getting vitamin D levels back to normal often reduces hot flashes and you’ll feel much better. It’s simple; just take a vitamin D3 supplement. It usually takes three months. There are videos about this and related topics at http://www.doctorseibel.com/menopause/.
Lifestyle non HRT approaches include:
- Drink plenty of water daily (8 glasses or more)
- Daily exercise (walking 30 minutes is great)
- Yoga classes (I like Kundalini Yoga best and I discuss the many benefits in A Woman’s Book of Yoga)
- Meditate daily – even 1 to 5 minutes at first and work your way up to longer. Keeping the mind calm and silent works wonders.
Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction is another great non HRT way to reduce hot flashes. It’s an approach introduced by Jon Kabat-Zinn and involves daily mindfulness exercises.
- Acupuncture – one study obtained a 60% improvement.
- Avoid caffeine, spicy foods and alcohol
- Carry a cool wipe to remove the sweat. It’s very cooling.
Herbal approaches include:
- Black cohosh (20 mg twice daily)
- Soy (50 to 100 mg of the soy isoflavones in a capsule or 25 to 40 grams of the protein in a smoothie or added to your food)
- iCool is a non-soy isoflavone if you’re allergic to soy
- Flaxseed, another plant estrogen, 1-3 tablespoons on cereal in the morning
Non HRT prescription meds such as:
- SSRI antidepressants [there is evidence showing that paroxetine (Paxil, Paxil CR), escitalopram (Lexapro) and fluoxetine (Prozac) can be effective in controlling hot flashes] and SNRI antidepressants such as venlafaxine (Effexor) have been used widely for hot flashes. A recent study suggests that adding zolpidem (Ambien, Edluar, Zolpimist) to these medications may be helpful for improving sleep but not hot flashes.
- Neurontin (gabapentin) the anti-seizure medication. Start low and increase dose slowly up to 900 mg daily. It causes drowsiness in some women.
- Clonidine (Catapres) acts on the brain to lower blood pressure and it helps some women (but not all) reduce hot flashes. It can cause dry mouth and constipation.
There are many alternative options in my book The Soy Solution for Menopause from Simon & Schuster.
Women who are thinner have less hot flashes than women who weigh more.
I’ve used all of these approaches to help patients with hot flashes who either cannot or do not want to take HRT and have low estrogen. Talk with your health care provider and ask him or her to work with you to find what works best for you. With persistence and patience, most women find a combination that works for them.
Machelle (Mache) Seibel, MD is one of America’s top health communicators. Whether speaking, consulting, writing or composing he teaches people the health information they need and the perspective they require to stay well. His passion is to help America stay well. “It’s better to stay well than to get well.” Professor and Director, Complicated Menopause Program, University of Massachusetts Medical School 2004-Present Founder of HealthRock®, reshaping health education with music and entertainment Harvard Medical School faculty nearly two decades Past Medical Director, Inverness Medical Innovations (now Alere) 2008 Recipient, Ashbel Smith Distinguished Alumnus Award, the University of Texas Medical Branch’s highest honor Multiple national awards for research, writing, music and patient education received Author/editor 14 books, over 200 scientific articles, past editor-in-chief of the medical journal Sexuality, Reproduction & Menopause Advisory board of Dr. Mehmet Oz’s HealthCorps initiative to fight childh
READ: The Truth About Bioidentical Estrogens
October 22, 2011 by Mache Seibel MD
Filed under •-Headline, Aging, Health & Well-being
Most of my menopause patients think bioidentical estrogens are safer, more natural and better in every way than non-bioidentical estrogens. Women in book clubs and boardrooms keep hearing bioidentical estrogens have all the benefits of pharmaceutical estrogen with none of the associated risks.
But is that really true? Read on.
What is bioidentical estrogen?
Every hormone in the body has a specific chemical structure. Estrogen looks like chicken wire made from 18 carbon atoms with one, two or three “OH” groups hanging off some of those carbon atoms. If it has one “OH” group it is called estrone or E1. With two “OH” groups it is called estradiol or E2. If it has three “OH” groups hanging off it is called estriol or E3. These are the three main biological estrogen molecules a woman’s body normally makes. Estradiol is the most potent one and before menopause, it is the most abundant.
When people talk about bioidentical estrogens, which estrogens are they talking about?
While there are other bioidential hormones such as testosterone and progesterone, there are only three bioidentical estrogens: estrone, estradiol and estriol. These three hormones can be found in chain drug stores and in compounding pharmacies.
How are bioidentical estrogens different from other estrogen products?
Most of the estrogen molecules that are purchased in a drug store have a similar chemical structure to E1, E2 or E3, but they are not identical to them. Your body thinks non-bioidentical estrogens are close enough to bioidentical ones to respond to them. But they aren’t exactly the same; they might be a little stronger, a little weaker, or just different.
Bioidentical estrogens are exactly the same chemical structure as the biological ones the body normally makes. They may come from plants, but they are not made in plants. You can’t squeeze a plant and get bioidentical estrogen out of it. The only plant they are made in is a chemical plant. So they are not natural. That is why the term used to describe them is bioidentical. The body cannot turn plant estrogens into human estrogens. It doesn’t have the necessary enzymes to do that.
Bioidentical estrogen is safer than non-bioidentical estrogen, Right?
Which weighs more; a pound of feathers or a pound of bricks? They both weigh a pound and are the same. In other words, bioidentical estrogens might be weaker than some pharmaceutical estrogens, but if they are given in equivalent dosages so a person receives an equivalent amount, the benefits and the risks should be the same.
The problem is that while there are many studies with non-bioidentical estrogen medications sold in traditional drugstores, there are very few safety studies on bioidentical hormones. Most doctors believe that if it is given in the equivalent amount, the risk of estrogen is the same whether it is bioidentical or a different molecule.
Is there any real advantage to bioidentical hormones?
For me, the major advantage of bioidentical hormones is that they can be measured in laboratory tests and you can know exactly how much is in your bloodstream. Other estrogens cannot be measured as precisely.
Another benefit of bioidentical estrogens is that the dose can be mixed just for you. So if your needs happen to fall between the available dosages of standard pharmaceutical estrogens, a special dosage or combination can be compounded just for you.
Finally, bioidentical estrogens can be compounded together with bioidentical progesterone and/or testosterone or other hormones and all can be applied in one application rather than having to take more than one medication.
Bottom line.
If you think estrogen is for you and your doctor or health care provider believes the benefits are greater than the risks for you, then consider any estrogen as a possible choice.
Many patients don’t realize that there are bioidentical estrogens available in traditional drugstores as pills, patches, creams and other forms. Those formulations must all pass national manufacturing standards. Bioidentical estrogens in compounding pharmacies are mixed in the specific drugstore you purchase them in and are not regulated as closely. Most do a great job. But there are differences in how closely they are regulated.
Get instant access to a free eBook on how to take estrogen and progesterone and which one to use by clicking here.
Mache Seibel, MD is a nationally known health expert, speaker and author. He is the founder of www.DoctorSeibel.com. His latest book is Eat to Defeat Menopause.
