A Quiet Mind: 6 Meditative Steps To Freedom by Ed and Deb Shapiro

Meditation is simple and transformative, yet it highly misunderstood. Some people think it is about controlling our mind or stopping our thinking, while others see it as both weird and wacky or boring and meaningless.

Yet meditation really just means being totally present, totally aware with whatever is happening. It is being with ourselves completely as we are. If the mind is thinking then we are aware of the thinking; if the body is moving then we are aware of the movement. Hence we have sitting meditation, sound meditation, walking meditation, even running meditation. It is not purposefully doing anything other than just being here and now.

And just this is transformative. It creates an inner spaciousness in which we can gently stop the endless ‘me-centered’ dramas, our mind that is like a drunken monkey leaping from one scenario to another.

“Meditation can mean really being focused on something, or it can mean letting go of all focus and simply being still,” says Gangaji in our book, Be The Change, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World. “It is not a matter of saying, ‘I am going to meditate,’ it is more like ‘I am just going to be here for a moment without doing anything, without following any thought.’ And, in that, there is peace, a surrendering the mind’s activity to this vast silence and spacious awareness. It is not anti-mind activity; it is simply that usually the mind is spinning round and round, so it is a stopping of that spin.”

Meditation is both an experience of oneness and the practice that enables us to be aware of this. When we make friends with ourselves we discover a freedom from habitual tendencies, from repetitive behavior, and we experience a great joy, peace, and unconditional happiness. It is, therefore, the greatest gift we can give ourselves.

But the world is like a magnet pulling us outward into all manner of distractions, so we often need help, methods or techniques, to remind us to just be still. We need to be guided inward. Here are six steps that can lead us in that inner direction:

Six Steps to Freedom

1. Create a daily practice even if it is just for 5 minutes. Meditation has an accumulative effect so by doing it for a few minutes every day is actually more helpful than an hour once a week.

2. Meditate for the sake of it without expectations, as it can cause stress and even a sense of failure if you look for results. No appointments, no disappointments!

3. Make friends with your breath. Focusing on the natural flow of your breathing will give your mind something to do and encourages your attention to go inward. In this way you also make friends with your meditation practice.

4. Make friends with your chattering monkey mind. When you are still your mind can seem very busy and distracting. Name this your monkey mind and don’t take it too seriously.

5. Commit to your peace. There is nothing more important than your peace, it is the core of your being, so make a commitment to being still and quiet regularly.

6. Do It

Meditation techniques are many and varied, but all that matters in being fully present. Try this:

Sit comfortably with your back straight.

Take a deep breath and let it go.

Be aware of each breath and silently count at the end of each out breath, up to five: Inhale, exhale, count one… inhale, exhale, count two… and so on for five breaths. Then start at one again. Just five breaths and back to one, following each breath in and silently counting. So simple.

Do this as many times as you want, breathing normally.

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See our award-winning book: BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You and the World, forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman, with contributors Jack Kornfield, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Byron Katie and many others.

Deb is the author of the award-winning YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, Decoding the Emotional, Psychological, and Spiritual Messages That Underlie Illness.

Our 3 meditation CD’s: Metta—Loving kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi–Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra–Inner Conscious Relaxation, are available at: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

Ed and Deb Shapiro are the authors of BE THE CHANGE, How Meditation Can Transform You And The World, with forewords by the Dalai Lama and Robert Thurman and Winner of the 2010 Nautilus Gold Book Award. Deb is the author of the bestselling book, YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND, winner of the 2007 Visionary Book Award. They are featured bloggers on Oprah.com/spirit, HuffingtonPost.com/Living, and Care2.com. They have 3 meditation CD’s: Metta — Loving Kindness and Forgiveness; Samadhi – Breath Awareness and Insight; and Yoga Nidra – Inner Conscious Relaxation. See: www.EdandDebShapiro.com

Read more from Ed and Deb Shapiro:

What The Buddha Might Say To President Obama by Ed and Deb Shapiro

Gitmo or Gandhi by Ed and Deb Shapiro

 

 

Technorati Tags: appreciation, gratitude, Happiness, inspiration, Meditation, personal development, self-discovery, Spirituality

READ: Monday Matters: Think Less! Live More!

The following is an excerpt from the book, Tapping the Power Within, A Path to Self-Empowerment for Women, pages 9 – 10.

Think Less! Live More!

Our greatest challenge in the learning, purification, and alignment process of life is our mind. The mind, expressing our will and ego, is developed as a result of our experiences, emotions, and intelligence. However, mind, ego and will are not in alignment with natural or spiritual laws. They are concerned with the way things “appear” to be, not what our experiences teach us on the spiritual level. It is only with a conscious effort that we can infuse the will and ego with the energy and power of the spirit.

When the will and ego are not in alignment with our spiritual mind, we have what the Yarubas call “a bad head”! A bad head is one that functions on its own without the guidance of Spirit or more experienced elders. It is what grandmothers in this country call being, “hardheaded” or “stubborn”; insisting that things are the way you want them to be when there is evidence to the contrary.

Having a bad or hard head means that we are not listening internally to the voice of Spirit, or externally, to voices of wisdom, which means we are not in alignment with Spirit or the laws of nature. In most cases misalignment also indicates that we live for physical pleasures and pursuits without concern for conscious contact with the true essence of our being. When we have a bad head, we rely on the distortions of the ego to determine what we need and how we are to go about meeting those needs.

When we lack conscious contact with the true essence of our being, our perceived needs lead us to actions that create what we call negative experiences. These needs are also created by emotions that result from our negative experiences. Our mind will mesh together what we experience and desire in order to form a thought.

Although thoughts govern how we respond throughout life, they may not be in alignment with the spiritual purpose or meaning of the experience. When we respond to physical thought alone, we are distracted by opinions, fears, the limitations of our experiences, and the influences of others. It is on the his level of thinking that we encounter the challenges and obstacles we often refer to as the problems of life, or “issues.”

As individuals, we are responsible for integrating our experiences and the spiritual interpretation of those experiences into our lives. In doing so, we must be mindful that our experiences will, in all ways, align with our belief system. In order to determine if your individual development process is working, you will need to ask yourself:

(1) How do I feel about what I am doing? And

(2) What do I believe is possible for me and my life?

Remember: What you believe determines what you see!

Breath Meditation: Some of the many ways in which breath meditation may help you enhance your general well being by Dr Robert Puff

Now I’d like to share with you my favorite form of meditation, called “breath meditation.” I believe it is one of the most powerful, yet one of the easiest, meditations to learn.

Before we begin, let’s talk a bit about the mind. The mind is made up of wave patterns. When we think, it causes wave patterns to occur in the brain. There are four main types of brain waves. The pattern we are normally in when awake and thinking is called “beta wave” or “beta state.” When we are dropping off to sleep and the mind begins to quiet, that is “alpha state.” When we are asleep or quietly meditating, that is “theta state.” The deepest state of sleep or of meditation (where there is no body awareness) is called “delta state.”

The goal in meditation is to get you to the theta/delta stage. I have found that the breath meditation technique is one of the most effective ways to get to the deeper levels of meditation and still the mind. Most people who are new to meditation and are trying a variety of ways to meditate will vacillate between the beta and alpha states in their initial practice. These stages of meditation are relaxing and a wonderful experience, but as with all things in life, the more you practice, the better you will get. Eventually you will desire to quiet the mind at the theta/delta levels and will go to the deeper realms of meditation to achieve this stage.

Now let’s talk about this effective and helpful way to quiet the mind, called “breath meditation.” It can also be the most challenging way, because although it’s simplistic, it is not always easy to do. It is easy to learn but sometimes difficult to practice.

In this form of meditation, you simply “follow your breath.” Just observe your breathing with no mantra, no prayer word, just simple and quiet noticing of the breath. How it works is that you sit up straight in a quiet, comfortable place with your feet on the floor or legs crossed. As you sit there, watch or take notice of your breath. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, and breathe out. You can breathe in through your mouth or your nose, it doesn’t’ matter. The only thing that matters is paying attention to your breath.

If something distracts you, simply come back to your breathing. When strenuous or uncomfortable thoughts arise (come to the surface), don’t try to ignore them or push them away but instead acknowledge them and go back to observing your breathing. Allow your attention to focus on that. Acknowledge any distractions, without being annoyed by them, and simply direct your awareness back to your breath. Eventually, thoughts will diminish, your mind will get quiet, and your brain patterns will begin to be at those deeper levels. You will find a deep peace that you may have never experienced before. Stresses will dissolve, and a sense of well-being will envelop you.

I encourage you to try the breath meditation and to practice it often. I also strongly suggest you meditate twice a day, once first thing in the morning and again just before bed at night. I find these times to be the easiest to make into a habit. We can meditate any time of the day or night, but it’s best to make a point of doing it twice daily and to establish a routine of morning and evening meditation. A sense of peace will develop in your life with regular practice. In my experience, breath meditation is one of the most powerful meditations in the universe.

The Breath Meditation is a simple technique.  In this form of meditation, what I want you to do is simply “follow your breath”.  Follow your breath with no mantra, no prayer word, just simple and quiet following of your breath.  How it works is that you sit in a quiet, comfortable place, sitting up with your feet on the floor or legs crossed.  As you are sitting there watch or take notice of your breath.  Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, and breathe out.  You can breathe in through your mouth or your nose, it doesn’t’ matter.  The only thing that matters is following your breath.  If something distracts you, simply come back to your breath.  When strenuous thoughts or uncomfortable thoughts arise or come to the surface, don’t try to ignore them or push them away but instead acknowledge them and go back to your breath.  Focus on your breath, nothing but your breath.  Again, any distractions are acknowledged but always to simply go back to your breath.  There are no thoughts, your mind will get quiet and still inside and your brain patterns will begin to go to those deeper levels.  You will find a deep peace that you may only experience when you are at a deep sleep at night; however, with meditation you are giving your mind this break during the day.  Stresses will go away and peace will come to you.

I encourage you to try the Breath Meditation and practice it often.  I also highly suggest you meditate twice a day, once first thing in the morning and again just before bed at night.  I find these times to be the easiest to make into a habit.  You can meditate at any time of day or night, but I highly suggest you make it a point to do so twice a day, once first thing in the morning and again just before bed at night.  The Breath Meditation is truly what I consider to be one of the most powerful meditations in the universe.

Dr. Robert Puff - About the Author:

Dr. Robert Puff, Ph.D. is a meditation expert, international speaker and has a blog athttp://www.Meditation-Enlightenment.com  He is the creator of the weekly Meditation For Health Podcast, available at http://www.MeditationForHealthPodcast.com  He has a weekly podcast that explores the world of Happiness at http://www.HappinessPodcast.org  If you would like to contact Dr. Puff, his e-mail address is DrPuff@cox.net

Read more on Meditation:

A Guided Video Meditation with Gangaji

6 Reasons Why Meditation Appears So Difficult by Ed and Deb Shapiro

Vulvar Pain And Painful Sex by Mache Seibel, M.D.

Painful sex not only hurts, it affects relationships and it keeps on causing a problem until it’s treated; and it’s affecting 20 million American women. That’s why every woman should know about a group of painful conditions that cause irritation of the skin around the vagina – the area called the vulva. These conditions are known as vulvar dermatosis. Vulvar skin is usually protected and a little different than skin on more exposed areas of the body. It’s susceptible to some of the same skin conditions as the rest of the skin, and a few that typically only occur “down there.”

Most women and a lot of doctors are not familiar with vulvar dermatosis. They don’t realize how common these problems are and as a result, feel isolated and embarrassed. They may fear they have a sexually transmitted disease or other problems and stop having sex. All of this can lead to depression and frustration. It’s not helped by the fact that vulvar skin problems are in that gray area between what gynecologists and what dermatologists typically treat. So it’s important to find a doctor familiar with the problem.

Here are some of the common vulvar symptoms that you should be aware of:

 

• Itchy
• Redness
• Swollen
• Painful

It’s not about relaxing, it’s not normal, and it’s something that usually can be improved with treatment.

Your doctor may ask you questions about: 

 

• Your sexual practices,
• Any history of sexually transmitted diseases
• Whether or not you use over-the- counter medications on the vulva
• If you’ve had surgery on your labia (the lips around the vagina)
• Trauma to your vulva
• Your exercise history
• How you care for your vulva

He or she will exam the vulvar skin carefully and look for areas of discoloration, paleness, redness, ulcers and other skin changes. The doctor might offer you a mirror to look at your vulva during the exam. They may also touch the skin with a cotton swab to see it there are any particularly tender spots.

They will also use a speculum to look inside the vagina for any abnormalities or discharge and check the pH, a measure of the level of acidity. The doctor may also do a more general exam including looking at the rest of your skin, and your eyes and mouth because some vulvar conditions are associated with more general health conditions.

Here are the most common causes of vulvar dermatosis.

 Contact Dermatitis

Some products and substances used on the vulvar skin can be irritating to those tissues and cause inflammation. Here is a list to be aware of.

Cause vulvar irritation:

• Soaps and detergents
• Sweat
• Urine
• Feces
• Douches
• Spermicide
• Panty liners and menstrual pads

Cause an allergic response on the Vulvar tissues:

• Benzocaine (Vagisil)
• Neomycin (Neosporin)
• Chlorhexidine (KY)
• Perfume
• Lanolin
• Nail Polish
• Latex Condoms
• Nickel from Piercings

Lichen Simplex Chronicus

Lichen Simplex Chronicus is a very different condition than contact dermatitis, but many of the symptoms are similar: red, inflamed and intensely itchy skin. The cause isn’t entirely clear but irritants contribute. It’s more likely in people with eczema and psoriasis. The symptoms can get really intense with this condition and cause loss of vaginal lubrication, and loss of sexual arousal, desire and orgasm. All of this can understandably lead to demoralization, depression, anxiety and sleep disturbances. The doctor may take a small circle of skin (called a skin or “punch” biopsy) about the diameter of a pencil eraser to make the diagnosis and to be sure there is no skin cancer.

Lichen Sclerosus

Lichen sclerosis is a chronic inflammation of the vulva that affects 1 in 70 women. It usually affects young girls before puberty and menopausal woman. Sometimes it can be a very mild disease and other times the itching can be maddening. As with the Lichen Simplex Chronicus, there can also be an associated risk for skin cancer of the vulva. The problem can also lead to chronic pain in the vulva.

Lichen Planus

Lichen Planus is an autoimmune disease of the vulvar tissue that affects about 1% of women between the ages of 30 and 60.  Again, the common symptoms are redness, itching, burning and painful sex.

One of the important organizations for you to know about with these types of problems is the National Vulvodynia Association.  There are many stories about women with vulvar pain, from horseback riders

Treatment

For each of these conditions, there will be slightly different treatments. For contact dermatitis, the primary goal is to find out what is causing the allergy. This may take some investigation, but getting rid of contact with that material is a key part of treatment. The good thing is that once you stop using the irritating substance, the problem will stop. More treatment may be needed (see below).

For the other conditions, treatment will depend in part on how bad the inflammation is. Sometimes there may be a crack in the skin called a fissure or even a small ulcer. Sometimes the doctor may prescribe you a topical steroid ointment twice a day such as 1% triamcinolone. For worse cases, your doctor may suggest a stronger steroid such as clobetasol 0.05%. Ice packs and antihistamines can help reduce the itching.  One of the big problems is that the itching is so intense that many women will scratch the area while asleep which makes it worse. To help prevent that, your doctor might prescribe a low-dose antidepressant such as a tri-cyclic antidepressant.

Each case is different, but with the proper diagnosis, most women will get the relief they need and be able to eliminate the pain and put the joy back into her sex life. For information on another common cause of painful sex, atrophic vaginitis, watch the video below.

Since stress is often associated with vulvar dermatosis, click here for my FREE Stress-Busters eBook to help with this and other sources of stress.

Machelle (Mache) Seibel, MD is one of America’s top health communicators. Whether speaking, consulting, writing or composing he teaches people the health information they need and the perspective they require to stay well. His passion is to help America stay well. “It’s better to stay well than to get well.” Professor and Director, Complicated Menopause Program, University of Massachusetts Medical School 2004-Present Founder of HealthRock®, reshaping health education with music and entertainment Harvard Medical School faculty nearly two decades Past Medical Director, Inverness Medical Innovations (now Alere) 2008 Recipient, Ashbel Smith Distinguished Alumnus Award, the University of Texas Medical Branch’s highest honor Multiple national awards for research, writing, music and patient education received Author/editor 14 books, over 200 scientific articles, past editor-in-chief of the medical journal Sexuality, Reproduction & Menopause Advisory board of Dr. Mehmet Oz’s HealthCorps initiative to fight childhood obesity Repeatedly voted into Best Doctors in America Hosted PBS and NYC TV episodes, frequent media expert http://www.doctorseibel.com/

Read more from Mache Seibel, M.D:

Infertility ~ Age is an Age Old Problem by Mache Seibel, MD

Is Your Health Powered by Love? by Mache Seibel, MD

Two Faces of Grace by Gangaji

The experience of the gift of life, of the grace of life, is a mysterious blessing we celebrate and bow to. Grace is the answer to our prayers, and yet it is free of our bidding. How joyous to bask in even an instant of surprising good fortune. How sweetly humbling to be delivered from misfortune.

We most easily and delightedly recognize grace in its form of deliverance. Yet it has another, equally humbling, equally mysterious face. The horrific face of grace can fill us with dread and fear when it appears, but if we are willing to welcome it — as we welcome the good news of the grace of bounty — it too brings us home. In whatever form it presents itself, grace reveals home as free and at peace. Grace is the messenger of the silent core of us, regardless of any tumult on the surface.

Who can truly comprehend what we each have to experience in our lives? We know of horrible experiences, diseases, wars, loss and degradation that many have to go through. And we also hear from many of the surprising grace present with the loss and pain: grace’s horrific face.

This is not the face of grace that we want. We want grace that is easy and beautiful and flowing. We usually — at least initially — resist grace that is ugly and painful. You must have experienced certain events, however they have shown up, as unwanted. If you are still resisting some unwanted event in your life and are willing to open to it now, you can find the grace in that very moment.

Grace does not require you to want something that you do not want. What is required is that you tell the truth about what simply and irrevocably is. What is required is that you stop fighting and hiding from what is. When these utterly simple and deeply challenging requirements are met, the innate grace of your own consciousness naturally reveals who you are and what you can bear.

We have many ideas about what we can bear. These ideas are the reflections of our fear. We doubt our capacity to meet what life and the changes in life give us. But when the willingness to tell the truth in open stillness comes, capacity is discovered.

Part of the horrific grace of being a human being is the knowledge that non-existence is at the end of the arc of our lifetime. We avoid death — other’s or our own — but when death comes close, the possibility is just as close for the discovery of great horrific grace. We don’t want to die. It may sometimes seems dying would be easier than meeting the challenge of living, but you wouldn’t be reading this if you hadn’t chosen life. And yet death will come.

In the horrific knowledge that what we don’t want (death, loss) will come regardless of our desires, there is an indescribable grace that is available. The fact that you have the gift of a human life with reflective consciousness allows you to open your consciousness, rather than to engage in the usual habitual strategies of denial.

The Tibetans speak about this precious human life. I used to doubt the preciousness of a human life because it seemed that the cows, in their unconsciousness of inevitable death might actually have a better life. But what are the cows doing in the pasture? They are waiting for the slaughterhouse. Even the lilies of the field, though not doing anything, simply living and being beautiful, are dead soon enough. We too are headed for the slaughterhouse, we too will be dead soon enough. And because of the horrific grace of consciousness we can meet that inevitability.

If we stop at the horror, if we try to find something to cover it or fix it or distract ourselves from it, we deny ourselves the grace of it. When there is enough willingness to face what has been avoided, the preciousness of every moment of every limited life form is celebrated and welcomed. Facing the horror of changes and endings allows us to fully participate in both what is inherently transitory and what is changeless.

Precious human life. Precious life form. Precious moment of every life — the cow’s life until it is slaughtered or the lily’s life until it wilts — how precious it is to be conscious of being and not being.

This blog is adapted from a talk given by Gangaji at Kripalu Center, MA in September 2011. Gangaji’s new book Hidden Treasure: Uncovering the Truth in Your Life Story, was published in September 2011 by Tacher/Penguin. In this life-changing book, Gangaji uses the telling of her own life story to help readers uncover the truth in their own. Publisher’s Weekly said, “This gently flowing but often disarming volume invites readers to examine the narratives that shape them, and is a call to pass beyond personal stories to find a deeper, more universal self.”

Gangaji will be offering a free open webcast on Sunday May 20 at 11:00  AM pacific time. After that, you can join her for a Silent Retreat at Fallen Leaf Lake, South Lake Tahoe, CA, beginning May 29. Visit www.gangaji.org for more information about Gangaji and her upcoming events, including the monthly Webcast / Conference Series, With Gangaji, which is currently undergoing an in-depth study of Hidden Treasure.

Gangaji shares a simple message – “This is an invitation to shift your allegiance from the activities of your mind to the eternal presence of your being.” Born in Texas in 1942, Gangaji grew up in Mississippi. After graduating from the University of Mississippi in 1964, she married and had a daughter. In 1972, she moved to San Francisco where she began exploring deeper levels of her being. She took Bodhisattva vows, practiced Zen and Vipassana meditation, helped run a Tibetan Buddhist Meditation Center, and had a career as an acupuncturist in the San Francisco Bay area. Despite her successes, Gangaji continued to experience a deep and persistent longing for fulfillment. She pursued many paths to change her life including relationship, motherhood, political activism, career, and spiritual practice, but even the greatest of her successes ultimately came up short. In the wake of her disillusionment, she made a final prayer for true help. In 1990, the answer to her prayer came unexpectedly, taking her to India and to the meeting that would change everything. There on the banks of the river Ganga, she met Sri H.W.L. Poonja, also known as Papaji, who opened the floodgates of self-recognition. In this meeting, Gangaji’s personal story of suffering ended and the promise of a true life began to flower and unfold. Today, Gangaji travels the world speaking to seekers from all walks of life. A teacher and author, she shares her direct experience of the essential message she received from Papaji and offers it to all who want to discover a true and lasting fulfillment. Through her life and words, she powerfully articulates how it is really possible to discover the truth of who you are and to be true to that discovery. Gangaji’s website www.gangaji.org

Read more from Gangaji:

The Point of Authentic Inquiry by Gangaji

Going Inside ~ Direct Experience Is Like a True Kiss by Gangaji

 

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