READ: Positive Lessons Make Enlightened Kids by Gina Sendef
March 9, 2012 by Gina
Filed under •-Headline, Conscious Parenting, Family & Relationships
Sometimes it’s not that easy to be a conscious parent. Being aware, awakened and ever mindful of what we teach our children is not always easy and since I am not perfect; I make my fair share of mistakes. Where the whole” lead by positive example” philosophy gets tricky, however, is not so much about what my husband and I teach them; but more about what others do. Every single thing our children learn from others makes an impact and while, as a parent, I cannot (and would not want to) possibly control everything; there comes certain times when I must step in and draw the line.
Usually, it’s in these moments that I am often a lone parent; the one the teachers and maybe even other parents are at best calling overly sensitive and at worst calling a pain is the a**! One such moment came up recently and I stood alone to shed light on what I hope will make a difference in the future; I know it will for my kids and I’m writing this article to reach more parents so perhaps that difference will gain in momentum. Here’s how my moment came to be.
I have this funny little theory that if we teach our kids primarily about positive, uplifting historical figures and events at a young age (preschool and elementary school), as opposed to the negative ones, that they will not only be influenced by them; but they will not become desensitized to the often horrific violent atrocities that make up human history (which seemed to be the focus of what I learned in school). When you teach children about the evils of war, the appalling deeds of dictators and the utter suffering of humanity throughout time when they are too young to fully comprehend the scope of what they are learning one of two outcomes will occur; they will either be completely terrified or utterly fascinated. Kids who have barely been alive for a decade cannot possibly handle the scope of what the world went through in the time of Hitler or how the affects of American slavery has made an imprint for generations. How could they? All these tender young souls are truly equipped to deal with is that which makes them feel good; so if something they learn does not do that they will either be scared of it or invent a way to make it feel good (usually by being entertaining).
Kids are super sensitive and they truly absorb like a sponge. What we shed light on through early education matters more than many understand. It forms the basis for their subconscious beliefs and has affects that will have an influence throughout the rest of their lives. It is vital to be mindful of this when teaching subjects that involve violence in any form. History or Social Studies tends to be a topic where, when examining our past, the subject matter often contains violent events, circumstances or situations. While understanding the dark side of our past may make us appreciate the light even more; it must be done with consideration for its audience. Kids are bombarded with aspects of violence every single day; from television and video games to books and bullying. We have an opportunity to make a change that could set a new course for our future; we can choose to focus on the light.
My 10 year old son’s class has had several independent study projects in Social Studies this year. These types of projects are a wonderful way to learn about doing research, writing, creating a Powerpoint presentation and discovering historical events. However, being that they are independent study, it’s important to examine the impact of what they may be exposed to during their research. The first of these projects was an ABC Civil War Book that required a slide for each letter about something related to the Civil War. I am not a fan of studying about war and my son did not really want to either. We worked together to make it a positive experience, not using any battles, weapons or violent terms throughout the book and focusing instead on Civil War terms that related to the abolishment of slavery. It struck me, as he finished his book, what about other kids who just went on the Internet and Googled the Civil War; what were they possibly seeing? Is anybody helping them understand the magnitude of what they find? I tried not to think about it but I could not stop.
A few weeks later, it was time for another project. It was called a Human Museum and the concept is great. Kids would study a historical figure of their choice and write a brief report about it. They would also draw the figure on a poster board with a large hole at the top to place their heads. Than all the parents, teachers and many students would visit the Human Museum and listen to all the reports. My son asked to be Jeff Kinney (author of Diary of a Wimpy Kid); he’s a favorite of my son because he’d like to be an author and illustrator in that style some day. He was told no by his teacher because the she felt it was not a historical figure and I understood that.
My son was disappointed because the teacher of the other 5th grade class was letting students use modern pop culture people for their topics (like the creator of Ugly Dolls). I told him to let it go and pick another one. He then shared another concern with me; he did not understand why he could not profile somebody influential to him when other kids were being allowed to profile Hitler. I told him that while I prefer he not write about Hitler, that he was considered a historical figure and appropriate for study by mane (just not us, not at 10 years old with independent research). We chose to pick a positive influence instead of a negative one and went with Gandhi.
The day of the Human Museum arrived. My son was excited to tell others about Gandhi and how he changed history in a peaceful manner. At the bus stop that morning, he asked me an odd question about Al Capone; “isn’t Al Capone a real criminal mom?” I said yes and asked how he heard of him. It seems there is a book series popular for kids his age in which Al Capone is a character (not to judge but that seems like a pathetic choice for a book geared towards young children). I explained that he was actually a real person who committed terrible crimes and that his character in that book made him seem like something he was not. He then told me that a couple of the kids were profiling Al Capone in the Human Museum because they liked his character in the book. I was stunned. While I would not encourage my 10 year old to voluntarily study Hitler, I understood why the teacher allowed it. But Al Capone, a convicted criminal? I wondered if they would allow a modern day criminal as well (like ? I also feared that the children giving these reports would do so in a manner that would not convey the profoundly painful impact these people had.
I was unfortunately right. When I attended the Human Museum, I listened to my son’s sweet friend talk about Hitler the same way I hear kids talk about Sponge Bob; like he was a fictional character from some cartoon. He was desensitized. Something occurred to me though, the kids (which were most of them) that chose a favorite sports hero or a positively influential person seemed so happy giving their reports, they were engaged and there was a real connection to their report. I decided to share this experience with the teacher and principal along with my concern and idea.
I contacted the principal and teacher, giving them my idea to make this project something truly outstanding by simply changing the parameters to more positive historical influences instead of violent ones; but they were not interested. When I talked about it with other parents, I frequently heard things like “they have to learn it sometime”. I did, however, hear of another school in this district whose teacher did the same project; this teacher told the kids to portray any positive person that influenced them. There is hope and I cling to it because I believe we can do better. I believe we can fill our children’s hearts and minds at ender young ages with positivity and that it will make a difference. I believe changes like this can actually have an impact on our future, perhaps leading to less violence and more inspiration. And finally, I believe there are more parents out there like me, who believe that Positive Lessons Make Enlightened Kids! If you are one of them, please visit my web page and contact me (www.ginasendef.com); perhaps together we can we can find a way to make a change for the better and help our kids along the way.
Gina Sendef is a independent Spiritual Self-Help Author and Angel Intuitive. Writing is her life long passion. Her soon to be self-published first book, “Truth Works, Divine Life Lessons for Kids of all Ages”, is a self-help book geared towards reading age children, teens and young adults. The premise for Truth Works is to undo harmful affects that exisit when our children are taught traditional life lessons like “life is not fair” or “money is the root of all evil”. The goal of the book is to undo this programming at a young age, ensuring the subconscious belief system for our children is optimistic, safe and secure. When we address these destructive beliefs in childhood and expose their false nature, they cannot reside in our subconscious minds for a lifetime as the basis for our beliefs. We are left with the pure, positive and absolute spiritual TRUTH. She created Angel Works as a means to work with the positive and loving energy of the angels to provide people with guidance that will improve their health, uncover their life’s purpose, enrich their relationships and enhance their lives.
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LISTEN: Conscious Parenting with Dr Shefali Tsabary
March 6, 2012 by Life with Direction with Sharon Quirt
Filed under •-Feature, •-VividLife Radio Shows, Conscious Parenting, Family & Relationships, Life with Direction, Parenting tips
listen to Life with Direction with Sharon Quirt as she chats with Dr. Shefali Tsabary on Conscious Parenting. Shefali lectures extensively on Mindful Living and Conscious Parenting around the world and currently has a private psychotherapy practice in New York city. Her first book, “It’s a Mom: What you should know about the early years of motherhood” debuted on the Indian bestseller list for four weeks. “The Conscious Parent” is her second book.
Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D., received her doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University, New York. Dr. Shefali was exposed to Eastern philosophy at an early age and integrates its teachings with Western psychology. It is this blend of East and West that allows her to reach a global audience, and establishes her as one of a kind in the field of mindfulness psychology.
Dr. Shefali has worked with a varied demographic: survivors of the Tsunami, women from economically disadvantaged countries, inner city youth, suburban families, and corporate leaders. She lectures extensively on Mindful Living and Conscious Parenting around the world and currently has a private psychotherapy practice in New York city. Her first book, “It’s a Mom: What you should know about the early years of motherhood” debuted on the Indian bestseller list for four weeks. “The Conscious Parent” is her second book.
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YOGA POSTURES: Heart Space Yoga – Early 2nd Trimester Prenatal Practice by Krista Bromfield
February 8, 2012 by Krista
Filed under •-Headline, Classes and Workshops, Conscious Parenting, Family & Relationships, Health & Well-being, Meditation, Yoga
Yoga is a safe, empowering and relaxing way to prepare for labour and birth. It can help releive the aches and pains associated with changing pregnancy posture, build strength and stamina and maintain a healthy range of motion for the spine, hips and shoulders. The practice of yoga focuses on breath awareness paired with thoughtful movement of the body through poses or ‘asanas’. In this way yoga perfectly compliments preparation for birth and caring for a new baby. If your first trimester involved queasiness, nausea or dizziness it may have been difficult to exercise at all let alone start a yoga program. It is best to wait until these conditions subside before you begin your prenatal yoga journey. It is also very important to get your physician’s consent before starting any exercise program when you are pregnant. The following sequence is a gentle prenatal yoga practice that can be done safely throughout pregnancy. Always listen to your body and do what feels right for you! Namaste Mamma’s!
OPENING MEDITATION: Sit on a folded blanket or meditation cushion. Root through your pelvis and lengthen your spine, drawing your shoulders down and back. Bring one hand to your heart and the other to your baby. Start to breathe in and out through your nose (if nasal passages are not clear you can breathe through your mouth). Draw the breath in and down to where baby is feeling your belly expand three dimentionally. Imagine you could deliver oxygen and prana (vitality, the life force) right to your baby with your breath. Continue this for up to five minutes and then sit quietly for a moment.
COW/CAT & PELVIC ROCKING: Make your way onto all fours in table top position. Place a blanket under the knees if they are sensitive (you can also come to fists is wrists are sore). As you inhale, gently lower your belly towards the floor (spinal extension) tilting your pelvis so your tailbone lifts up as you gaze forward. Be mindful not to over arch the low back especially as baby grows. As you exhale press into your hands, tuck your tailbone under and round out through your spine (spinal flexion). Repeat for 10 breaths. This pelvic rocking action increases mobility in the low back and pelvis and can help releive low back pain during pregnancy. Always move mindfully and gently in a range of motion that feels good for you and your stage of pregnancy!
TAIL WAG: Return to the table top position. Imagine you have a long lizard tail and start to wag it from side to side. As you wag it to the left, press into your right palm and gaze over your left shoulder to look at your imaginary tail. Feel a light stretch in the right side body. As you wag your tail to the right, press into your left palm and gaze over your right shoulder to look at your imaginary tail. Feel a light stretch in the left side body. Continue to sway the hips side to side 10 – 20 times. This action creates space between the pelvis and ribs for baby and increases pelvic and low back mobility. It is great for releiving low back pain even during labour!
SUPPORTED SQUATTING POSE: Step the feet a bit wider than shoulder width apart and squat down with the support of a bolster, blankets or cushions under the pelvis. Make sure you have enough support that the knees, hips, ankles and belly are comfortable. You will feel a stretch in the hips, inner thighs and groins. Opening the muscles that surround the hip joint is an excellent preparation for labour! Bring hands to prayer and let elbows gently apply pressure to help open inner thighs a bit more. Hold for 5 – 10 breaths. The squat can be used with breathing exericses to bring awareness to the pelvic floor and birthing muscles. This pose is also a natural birthing position! (If you have symphysis pubis pain or hemorrhoids you might want more support for your squat ie. more bolsters, blankets, cushions and do not squat down as low!)
HIP OPENER WITH A TWIST: Bend your left knee out to the side and place your left foot flat on the mat. Stretch your right leg out and energize it by dorsi flexing the ankle (draw toes toward the shin) and engaging your quadricep (right knee cap lifts). Make a stop sign with your left hand and gently press the left elbow against the left inner knee to open the left hip and inner thigh. Place your right hand behind your back on the mat. Inhale to a long spine and then exhale to gently gently rotate the heart to the right and gaze over the right shoulder. As baby grows, be mindful to twist from the heart and not the low or mid belly. This pose continues to open the hips and gently rotates the spine in a healthy range of motion. Keep the spine long and root the pelvis as you inhale, gently rotate from the heart on the exhale. Hold for 5 – 10 breaths and repeat on the other side.
Krista Bromfield is a senior teacher at Balanced Life Yoga, a RYT, Can-Fit-Pro PRO Trainer, Mom and Auntie. She has an Honors Degree in Kinesiology and Education, and is the lead Anatomy Instructor for the Balanced Life Yoga Teacher Training Programs. Krista teaches a variety of classes including Power Yoga, Partner Yoga, Kids Yoga, Yog-ahhh, Prenatal Yoga, Stroller Fitness and Mom and Baby Yoga Bootcamp. She also leads Prenatal Yoga and 2UNITE Partner Yoga Teacher Training Certifications. http://www.balancedlifeyoga.ca/
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READ: Minerals for the Mind and Food For Thought by Sue Atkins
January 31, 2012 by Sue Atkins
Filed under •-Feature, Conscious Parenting, Family & Relationships, Parenting tips
Rude and greedy behaviour among adults is contributing to the epidemic of gang and knife crime among children according to the Government’s school behaviour adviser Sir Alan Steer who is also a well respected Headteacher of Seven Kings High School in Essex.
In my work as a Parent Coach I help parents become far more aware of the influence they wield on their children. Whether it is through the words they use, or the actions they take, parents are a role model for their children throughout their lives from toddler to teen whether they are aware of it, like it, or even accept it.
I also work with teenagers helping them set positive goals for their future as I believe kids who know where they are going are far more likely to succeed in life. While it’s fine setting goals with them it’s discipline that is the key to bridging the gap between setting goals with kids and their accomplishing them, and lots of kids find self discipline difficult. So it’s all about starting in small ways with little changes.
I think it’s helpful to role model self discipline from eating a piece of fruit each day to walking the dogs for exercise every day – because it’s always in the simple, small things that leads to building great habits over time.
I think it’s useful to get teenagers to focus on their goals and to ask them if they want to suffer from the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference will be a future made up of potential or of disappointment.
So I like to help kids set up their goals and plan their discipline when they are all fired up and raring to go focusing mainly on the small little things they are going to do today and tomorrow and for the rest of the immediate week. That’s where the discipline begins and where the success and feelings of motivation and self respect starts.
The wonderful thing that seems to stem from these small steps is that there is a knock on effect in other areas of their lives too as one positive thing seems to lead to another which builds greater self esteem all round very quickly.
I believe that teenagers don’t have to change loads of things as that just makes them feel overwhelmed. A few simple changes can transform a teenager’s life – getting them to move in the more positive, hopeful direction of success. So that in 3 months, 6 months, a year or 3 years they can look back and see just how far they’ve come and how the small changes made such a difference in their lives.
I help kids look at the people they hang around with because these people influence their lives either positively or negatively and they can be nudged off course just a little at a time until they finally say to themselves “Gosh, how did I end up here?”
Then they’ve got to do the difficult bit of reflecting and taking the time to be serious about whether these influences are having a positive or a negative influence on them. They’ve got to take 100% responsibility for the choices they then make in deciding whether to keep hanging around with them or to move away from them.
That’s why teenage kids need support and help from their parents, teachers and other adults of influence around them and why they need positive role models to nurture, guide and nudge them in the right direction and to support them through the change of direction.
It’s also about setting firm, fair and consistent boundaries for them so they feel the “tough love” of being guided, protected and nurtured surrounding them and about being a positive and uplifting role model for them to follow.
It’s from here that we can slowly change, influence and enhance society over time.
Sue Atkins is a Parenting Expert, Broadcaster, Speaker and Author of the Amazon best selling book “Raising Happy Children for Dummies” one in the famous black and yellow series and the highly acclaimed Parenting Made Easy CDs. She has also just launched her 1st Parenting Made Easy app for iPhones and iPads. She is currently writing a new book for Random House called “Parenting Made Easy” which will be available in April 2012. Sue offers practical guidance for bringing up happy, confident, well behaved children from toddler to teen. She regularly appears on BBC Breakfast and The Jeremy Vine Show on BBC Radio 2 and is the parenting expert for many BBC Radio Stations around the UK. She has a regular monthly parenting phone-in on BBC Radio Surrey & Sussex and her parenting articles are published all over the world. http://sueatkinsparentingcoach.com/
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READ: Mindful Living ~ Celebrating with Mindfulness by Jacquelyn O’Brien
December 31, 2011 by Jacquelyn
Filed under •-Headline, Buddhism, Conscious Parenting, Family & Relationships, Meditation, Meditation, Mindfulness, Yoga, Yoga
This is a time of year for celebration and togetherness, a time to remember that we are all one. A time of gathering in, of spending time with loved ones and staying warm. Whether you are celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, Winter Solstice, Hogmanay or something else, hopefully you are with people that you love.
It’s also a time of ritual; some religious, some social. For example, most of us will be enjoying at least one special meal with family and friends. Eating together is a core part of our society and it’s also an opportunity for mindfulness.
Many traditions encourage us to eat mindfully but I’d like to share with you five food contemplations for families from Thich Nhat Hanh’s Engaged Buddhism tradition. This is something we read before each family meal.
- This food is the gift of the whole universe: the earth, the sky, the rain and the sun.
- We thank the people who have made this food, especially the farmers, the people at the market and the cooks.
- We only put on our plate as much food as we can eat.
- We want to chew the food slowly so that we can enjoy it.
- We want to eat in a way that nurtures our compassion, protects other species and the environment and reverses global warming.
- This food gives us energy to practice being more loving and understanding.
- We eat this food in order to be healthy and happy and to love each other as a family.
Thich Nhat Hanh
You might like to try reading this before enjoying your meal. Eat each bite slowly and mindfully and try to be fully present to those who are sharing the meal. Just for fun, here’s a video of my own ‘little Buddha’ reading the contemplations.
The Five Family Food Contemplations
Thank you for reading. Wishing you a wonderful holiday season filled with joy and connection.
Namaste,
jacquelyn
Jacquelyn is a 500 hour Registered Yoga Teacher and Reiki Level Two practitioner. Yoga has helped her to overcome paralyzing fears and chronic pain and find her true purpose in life. Her focus is on encouraging those around her to have patience, kindness and compassion for themselves and the courage to stand, fearless, in their own light. Jacquelyn has studied meditation and mindfulness in the Shambhala tradition and with Thich Nhat Hanh. She teaches Gentle Yoga, Chakra Flow Yoga, EMpower Yoga, Beginners Yoga, Power Yoga, Learn to Meditate and a variety of workshops.
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