READ: Healing ~ Name it, Move it, Mind it, Soul it! by Em Claire

And did you get what you

wanted from this life, even so?

I did.

And what did you want?

To call myself Beloved, to feel myself

beloved on the earth.

 (Raymond Carver, Late Fragment)

It was a springlike day, my close girlfriend and I sitting with hot mugs of tea, watching the hail and the sun alternate outside the window. We were sharing comfy galpal time together on a spacious Sunday afternoon, but with the intention of “keeping it real” – a shared intention not to simply get together and engage in our stories about ourselves, or our stories about others – but to do The Work with our beliefs, a process discovered and shared by the beloved Byron Katie, author of Loving What Is.

Sometimes I’ll ask my friends how I can best support them when they come to me with stuff roiling and boiling, churning and turning. Would it be most helpful if I just listen and say nothing, allowing them to get it all out?  Would they like my feedback afterward, or would they like me to simply bear witness and listen with compassion?

In this case, my friend wanted both – to get it all out, and then to have me reflect back to her what I heard or observed, and any insights I might have. “I got it,” I said. “Go for it!”

So she began to tell me about something that had recently happened between herself and her mother. At one point, when she was really rolling, she said, “You know I just hate my mother sometimes,” her face darkening, her lip shaking with a mixture of deep anger and sadness. “Okay,” she said, “I don’t really hate my mother – I don’t hate anything – but she makes me so angry.” At this point I felt drawn to interrupt her flow, not wanting to miss what I felt like was an important moment.

“Hon?” I said. “You know how I shared with you about a friend of mine who keeps having these ongoing dreams at night  where he is hollering and yelling at the top of his lungs at his parents?” Her eyes lit up and she said, “Yes!” already sensing where I was going. I said, “Well, what I’m picking up on is that in those seemingly unsolicited dreams he must be speaking from a very real, very young place that needs to say those things.”

“If it were me, I wouldn’t any longer try to be “spiritual” or lofty about what feels like hatred or rage but I would name it – and then find a way to express that stuck energy in a way that’s not harmful to myself or anyone else. Then the log jam is finally moving and we are more free and in the flow and coming from a more balanced place from which to address the Mind, and to work with the core beliefs we took on as an infant, or a toddler, or young child or teen, and have carried with us for often many decades.”

My friend said, “That’s exactly right, Em. It reminds me of a process I use where I allow my body to “tone” sounds but don’t allow them to become words or anything intelligible. I drop into that feeling of anger or sadness and then just let it rip, allowing whatever sounds to come, and allowing my body to move in whatever way it does during that time – being kind to my body in the process, of course. I used to wait until I was alone in my house for a few hours and knew no one would be coming and going, and then do this practice. Even more healing was to have a close friend watch and witness it, feeding back to me what they saw that might provide even more insight later. I realize that this part is for those of us who are a little less self-conscious, but it’s profoundly helpful.”

“This is really timely,” she went on to say, setting her writing journal and pen aside. “This is exactly what’s needed before I next look at the beliefs I have around my relationship with my mom. I’m glad I’m reminding myself about this in the form of our conversation today!”

*

A day or so later I was recounting this experience to my husband in the dawning hours of the morning, triangles and rectangles of light playing across the ceiling above our bed. He said, “Yes. I agree wholeheartedly. In fact, if I may, I would add a another piece to that process. – I would say that once you have approached it from the Body, and the Mind, you want to definitely come back around and include the Soul. I’m not surprised that you are right on top of this, because in the book I’m writing right now I’m addressing the identical topic, and our explorations always seem to be right in sync.”

“Yes, Honey! – “I said, replumping my pillow emphatically. “But what I notice about myself and many of us who have been on “the spiritual path” is that we have learned to bypass what we actually feel, and we edit ourselves – even to ourselves – in order to try to fit the saintly, or enlightened ideal we have conceptualized. We try to “be” farther along the path than we actually are in that particular moment. And I think this serves no one, but only serves to increase our resentment that will come to the fore later. That’s why I no longer want to skip over what has been true for me in my body for years or decades or perhaps many generations – I want to move and release that stuck energy. Expression is our birthright and our natural state, and I think when we weren’t allowed to express in those moments our individuality or what was true for us, that energy stayed “stuck” somewhere and now is a time when we can lovingly bring our adult, aware attention to it, and allow it to move on. Let’s hear it for Recycling!”

“Agreed,” he said, apparently missing my awesome Recycling reference. “You don’t try to leap to the Soul’s perspective first – but without that larger perspective, I believe that it would be hard for any of us to make any “logical” sense of the seemingly complex relationships we have in our lives, and why they are appearing in our reality to be experienced. And my belief is that they will – keep appearing in our experience – until we understand what it is they are trying to show us.”

These are the kinds of things my Beloved and I awaken at five in the morning and lie in bed talking about. Then, we bound out of bed and onto our laptops, warmed by socks and robes and by having been met, and having felt heard.

And for me, the crucial part about having someone in my life who can truly hear me is that it has given me a cellular experience of feeling expressed and heard, which can then help me to listen to myself more of the time and yes – “to call myself Beloved; to feel myself beloved on the earth.”

As I wrote this article, I came up with a mantra to help bring consciousness to any moment in time when I feel suddenly as if something young, or deep in me has been triggered:

Name it, Move it, Mind it, Soul it

Naming it is simply telling the truth to yourself about yourself. It’s a momentary truth, but if you’re feeling it, you’re feeling it. Too late to pretend it didn’t come up and rationalize it away. So be gentle with yourself. You are really BE-ing with You, for perhaps the first time in your life!

Moving it can be done in a number of ways, too many to count here. I’ve used 1) Exercise: running, biking, or even walking straight up a steep hill to really get the energy moving out of my solar plexus 2) Yoga 3) Breathing Techniques 4) Singing 5) Chanting 6) Dancing 7) Laughing Toning/Moaning/Crying

Specific techniques focused on clearing the emotional body might be found on the following website, as it begins by introducing the idea that we each have a “signature sound” we came in with, and that once we discover this, it can be used to heal and balance our own mind/body whenever we choose to. As you read on, you will come to the section on releasing trauma, etc. if that is a particular section that is calling out to you.  http://www.juliarogershamrick.com/articles.html?article=vocal_toning&title=Vocal%20Toning:%20Discover%20One%20of%20Your%20Power%20Tools

Minding it is turning our attention toward our longstanding thoughts, beliefs, and concepts that make up one’s constant inner dialogue and I’ve yet to find anything more helpful than Byron Katie’s process called The Work. If you are new to it, you can watch every video on her site, or on Youtube, and then download the worksheet (lovingly called the “Judge Your Neighbor” worksheet) having become more familiar with the 4 Questions and what are called “Turnarounds”.  There is also a 24-hour free helpline where facilitators will take you through The Work. To find this number click on Resources, after visiting the homepage at:  www.thework.com

I have also found great value in a book by Richard Moss that was recently published called Inside-Out Healing. I give it Five Stars!

Souling it can of course be achieved in countless ways as well, and although Neale is my husband, I try mightily not to frequently bring his material into my own website or into blogs so that no one feels as if they are being “upsold” once there. However, his books had a tremendous impact on my life back when I was 23, and this many years later, I continue to see incredible value in what he brings through for each of us to contemplate. Although the SouLogic Process is found in the When Everything Changes, Change Everything addendum workbook by Neale, and will appear as a deeper exploration and explanation in The Only Thing That Matters (his next book due out this fall), I wanted to give you a link here to his website where he has posted the process as well as a transcript of him taking someone through it, creating the possibility for someone to acquire a much broader understanding of what has transpired in their lives, and to find a place of true peace with what has happened.   Click here:  http://www.nealedonaldwalsch.com/index.php?p=doc&c=soulogicprocess

(To read the transcript section first, scroll down to The SouLogic Process in Action, once there.)

My wish is that in the sharing of what is working for me, others may also benefit. Please always trust your own inner guidance as to whether any of these tools are timely for you.

All My Love and Deep Blessings, as we end this Chapter & Verse blog entry with, as always, a poem…

 

A Mind Full of Joy

 

Whereas the Heart is used to being

the only place where Love is found

a Mind full of joy

draws the Heart like a moth,

into a surprisingly different flame.

A flame where nothing burns -

no wings are forfeited.

As if God stretches the length of The Home

to abide in every room at once,

 simply

because

We

can

*

“A Mind Full of Joy” – Em Claire ©2008 – All Rights Reserved

Technorati Tags: Em Claire, Neale Donald Walsch, Poet, Poetry, staying spiritual, When Everything Changes Change Everything

READ: There is no reason Not to Follow Your Heart by Em Claire

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.

You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

– Steve Jobs

*

It’s been many months since I’ve written a blog, although I daily touch into the idea of doing it. But as I continue to ask myself what feel like the most important questions to ask and the answers don’t come back clear and authentic, then I don’t “do” anything I think I “should”. Or, as I’ve recently heard it said – I don’t “should” on myself!

The question I apply to any “have to” or “should” throughout a day is:   Why am I “doing” this?  and then, What is it I think I’ll achieve by “doing” this? Is this “doing” some natural, inner impulse, or is it yet one more attempt to in some way seek society’s approval?

So today I did indeed feel the impulse to write and to share what I’m experiencing because it feels like a natural expression of the part of me that likes to imagine supporting anyone else out there in discovering their own clarity, no matter what reasons the Man-Made-Mind comes up with to convince you that you’ve “failed” in the eyes of society. Can you join me in asking a courageous question and be willing to follow the answer to its end? *Again, as I ask these questions please know that this is me, speaking to me! And if any of this resonates with you, then we are exploring the same leg of the journey.

Why do you “do” what you do?

Aside from feeling the need to feed and clothe and shelter ourselves and our loved ones, has fulfilling the need to receive or achieve “kudos”, praise from anyone outside our self ever brought lasting peace? And, when we finally get the nod from the boss, or the praise from the parent, or the admiration from the colleague, how long does it last? Just about as much time as it takes for us to get in the car and drive home. And after our “celebration” dinner (or popcorn and Raisinets) we fall into bed and are most likely already beginning to believe Thoughts again – about how we will surely “fail” next time, and about how maybe this time was a fluke. Or, perhaps the Mind will be running images of how we’ve really “made” it now and then we start to imagine the upcoming scenarios and feel weary from all the pressure and expectation that is to come.

You see, The Mind will fixate again on how to keep the praise and the admiration. And it’s tough to hold onto those glorious moments we spend all of our energies trying to “get” if, down deep, we don’t feel worthy of them in the first place. Which is why we are still trying everything we can think of – endlessly, endlessly, endlessly – to keep the Kudos coming.

I invite you to really look at this fact. It’s how it goes. It’s what we do until we look closely at our limiting beliefs and ask, “Wait a minute. Is this even true?”

Why do you do any of the things you do?

Hans Hoffmann says, “The ability to simplify means to eliminate the Unnecessary so that the Necessary may speak.” These days, I’m holding each of my beliefs up to the light to look for the “watermark”. It is indeed helping me to eliminate the unnecessary beliefs so that the necessary beliefs can surface – the beliefs that make sense to my soul, and the ones that don’t cause undue stress, but instead cause me to relax, expand, inspire, and connect with all of life in a much deeper way.

For example, let’s take one of the thoughts that likes to pass through The Mind, “I should be leading a more full, more adventuresome life,” – especially in a society that shows us how we should be driving fast in beautiful cars, with beautiful people, in beautiful, exciting places – all of the time – and if not doing that, dancing at night in clubs and drinking copious amounts of alcohol, and if not doing that, traveling the world and walking across swinging rope bridges in jungles, or putting a flag into the snow at the top of a famous mountain peak, chumming along with strangers and speaking any number of languages over our shoulder with ease.

“I should be living a fuller, more adventuresome life”. When I explore the stressful Thought, “I should be living a fuller life,” I realize after a little investigation that a “full” life isn’t one that has me jet-setting the world or creating more projects than I can handle (or enjoy) or being a world-class chef for my family. Living a “full” life doesn’t have to look like public speaking to thousands or going to night school and working two jobs, and having friends over to dinner on the weekends if we have free time, and making sure that I say yes to every social engagement invitation or family event, but something more like this:

A Fuller, more Adventuresome Life, according to my own Truth is this: one that increases my capacity to give and to receive Love – and that capacity can be increased through a bout with cancer, or a divorce, or the death of a loved one, for all I know – which is the opposite of what our society has taught us. A Full life for me is one that includes giving support to those I love, and receiving support as well. Leading a Full, more Adventuresome Life is one that shows me through following my own heart that I discover what’s true for me, and through the realization of that, I show up for others in a way that is far less “selfish” than ever before, because I don’t have Unnecessary beliefs and concepts between me and them.

Is there anything more fully alive than true connection?

Have you ever yearned to be around friends or family but once at the potluck noticed that even when someone gave you warm hugs or warm words, they just simply didn’t go in? You got what you wanted, but your judgments about yourself or another didn’t allow the Goodness in anyway. You may have been believing a judging thought about yourself or the other person that prevented you from feeling connected, even as someone looked right into your eyes and said, “I haven’t seen your wonderful face in so long – it’s just great to see you!” Recognizing this degree of suffering caused by unexplored concepts is how we can make a first step into Freedom. You begin to realize that, in fact, no matter where you go – There You Are. The You that is allowing Itself to believe what the Mind is saying – not the True You!

The process I’m using for “investigation” or “deep questioning” is called The Work, by Byron Katie. I’ve explored many avenues for self-questioning and inner exploration, but this is one that continues to call to me because it is a tangible, easy formula that involves four questions, and what Byron Katie calls “turnarounds”. Here are some examples of Beliefs that might be questioned (along with my comments) and then, below, I will introduce you to The Work.

 “I should be more successful.” Really? What does “success” even mean? What jerk came up with the global definition, anyway? GEEZ.

“I should help people more or be helping more people.” Really? How can I know what “help” even looks like for every single person I encounter? Can I really know that what I’m doing is actually “helping” them? I bet for most people I know, me “helping” them would be me staying in my own business, and letting them ask me for help!

“I should be able to do this on my own.” Really? Who said? Has anyone, anywhere, ever actually done it all by themselves? We were born into this world taking our first inhale dependent on the care and “help” of many people around us, and to this day, can’t even move left or right without being held up by many things made by other human beings, meant to “help” and support us – beds, chairs, tables, not to mention food planted, grown, harvested and packaged by others that we might feed our bodies.

“I should never appear weak or in need.” Really? We start out that way and we usually end up that way! What I’ve noticed is that acknowledging that we need help, or are experiencing a weak or fragile time gives many around us a chance to experience themselves as compassionate and caring and loving and kind and creative and courageous! And for some, it gives them a sense of connection and purpose that they may never have allowed before. “In need” or “helpless” benefits both the person “in need” AND the person “helping” when seen from the perspective of connection.

These are just some of the beliefs inherited from the Man-Made-Mind that I’ve tested out recently through The Work. If you are experiencing any degree of stressful thoughts or suffering (all suffering comes from Thought) I invite you to take a half-hour now, and watch one or all of the following clips. First, choose the one that calls to you for reasons known or unknown. Then, if you are new to the work and want more examples, visit the website at www.thework.com where you can watch many more videos, as well as download the free instructional worksheet and get started right away, testing your beliefs. If you have any questions, please feel free to call anyone at the Byron Katie Helpline who can lead you through The Work (http://www.thework.com/dothework.php) or feel free to write to me at em@emclairepoet.com

I am a firm believer that if I want peace in the world, I have to start with my own mind. If I want others to be nice, to be kind and loving and compassionate, I have to look and see what thoughts or beliefs I hold that disallow me to be nice, to be kind, to be loving and compassionate. For now, this exploration and questioning is the best I can give to humanity, and this is leading the fullest, most adventuresome life I can imagine! What a success!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM4jtnR6pww&feature=related

http://www.thework.com/watch.php?cat=WnP&yid=50JRZx_I7Rk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_k6sfCJtwY&feature=related

Life is Mostly Quiet

 

Believe me, you don’t have to know.

Not so much that you render yourself helpless.

Helpless in the face of what Life brings next.

So make peace with knowing very little.

About Love.

About Others.

About how life should be.

Make amends with how things are.

Not knowing a thing,

walk with gentle knees,

ready to drop to them, at any moment

that Life dictates it.

Keep an empty hand

so that it can be brought to your heart

when a grief arrives.

Make up a bed that you can fall into

as your own, comforting arms.

*

We come to find, that Life is mostly quiet.

It asks us to live by our Knowing, while

surrendering that very same thing.

It vibrates easily around us,

candid and benevolent.

You see, it’s only

when we root ourselves solid in some knowing again,

that Life seems to have to shout -

rises,

lovingly,

from Its whisper.

‘Life Is Mostly Quiet’ – Em Claire
©2008 – All Rights Reserved

Em Claire was born in Seattle, Washington in the United States, and was raised in the beautiful Rogue Valley of Southern Oregon, where she now lives. Twenty-three of her poems appear in the New York Times best seller When Everything Changes, Change Everything by Neale Donald Walsch, and her first full collection of poetry has just arrived in bookstores under the title Silent Sacred Holy Deepening Heart.www.EmClairePoet.com 

Read more from VividLife.me Bloggers:

Shift Happened by Em Claire

About one month ago now I had an experience that has happened to me only four other times in my life. I was going full-speed-ahead,  excited and inspired, with my hands in many new projects, sure about the direction I was heading and suddenly I “turned a corner”.  Like the experience of the Hero in the Hero’s Journey that I wrote of in the last two blogs, I seemed to experience a sudden shift in my very ground of ..

What Does it Mean to Be Free of Definitions? by Gangaji

At this time in our present history, we have the ability to be conscious of the stories we have been taught and how they define us, as well as the stories we unquestionably have believed about who another is. We can be willing to be unguarded with ourselves, and we can take responsibility for the result. We can marvel when we discover that the stories of previously demonized others (enemies) are as beautiful and multi-layered as our own. We mature when we realize that some of the stories cherished as the foundation of our …

Technorati Tags: Em Claire, Follow Your Heart, inspiration, Poetry, vivid life

READ: Light – A Poem

Light

Can you see your light inside you?
It shines both day and night
Leading you both near and far
Keeping your path in sight

Can you feel your light inside you?
As it courses through your veins
Inspired greatness housed within
To share for all to gain

Can you taste your light inside you?
Flavored sweet and pure
Water, land and truthful food
Grant energy and cures

Can you hear your light inside you?
As it speaks to you in song
Guiding you to flow each day
Helping you stay strong

Can you touch your light inside you?
Compassion, joy and heat
A tender kiss, a warm embrace
Rituals to be complete

Can you sense your light inside you?
It’s spoken from within
Hunches, feelings, heart felt signs
Giving life a whole new spin

Will you trust your light inside you?
Your gifts, your being, your core
True greatness lay in wait
To be shared, enjoyed, explored

Copyright G. Brian Benson 2011

Technorati Tags: compassion, Heart, inspiration, inspiring, kiss, light, love, peace, poem, self help, tender, trust

A Thousand Pins

Your work depends on the needle. Thread is in abundance on shelves in closets. You have moths doing work in the silk barn. But the needles, rare as diamonds and burrowing like small children playing in sheet tents.

Like minors would, you roll up your sleeves and dig and climb. “A shovel is too much”, you say to the chicks pecking the ground for stray seeds. You say, “The need is great. The men need shirts, and women skirts. These needles like gems, I will find. It is my job, same as it is to smile and spread feed for you in the morning sun.”

Your hands ever soft sifting through piles of golden hay. You wonder which you enjoy most; the elegant gowns made by you hung from lines strung between two mulberry trees under a spring sky, or the moments spent moving the dog from his nap to find a thousands pins ready like jewels all along resting.

Technorati Tags: Arts, consciousness, flow, mindfulness, Poetry

Do You Know Why You Drive Yourself So Hard?

Really, when was the last time you gave yourself a break?

Or gave yourself credit for all that you do in a day or have accomplished already in your life (which I am sure is alot!)

Or celebrated your accomplishments for more than a few days or minutes, before focusing on what you needed to do next?

Transform the 3 F’s… Fat Lies, Frenemy’s, and Fear into your the Fabulous A’s… Appreciation, Acknowledgment, All Your Needs Taken Care Of…

Technorati Tags: Christine Arylo, how do i find balance, me before we, overworked and overwhelmed, self love, stressed out, why do i drive myself so hard

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