READ: An Excerpt from: ‘The Guru and the Jerk’ by Christopher Pinckley

My latest work is called ‘The Guru and the Jerk’ and is the first of a new, emotionally honest trilogy

I recently completed the final edit for The Guru and the Jerk.   I had previously released this book only to find that I had neglected quite a few grammatical errors.  My hope had been to release this book as raw as I possibly could, but this approach backfired on me as it needed editing.  So, now it’s done!  The book will be available as a kindle ebook at first, and then later as a paperback.

In this work I bring a ‘no holds barred’ approach to spirituality and self help which I feel has been missing for way too long.  There is just too much misinformation and conflicting opinions and beliefs out there to let this go on any longer.  People are becoming scared of what they think and feel for fear that they are going to create a catastrophe for themselves.  A lot of people are trying to make spiritual bypasses and delve into the spiritual realms hoping that they can create heaven on Earth.  While that’s not a completely bad idea in itself, it does not lend to creating the life of your dreams if you are repressing your emotional states of being during the process.

Thus, The Guru and the Jerk is all about emotional honesty and a hard, behind the scenes look at the making of a spiritual teacher and self help author.

I hope you enjoy the honesty, the frankness, and the realism that I provide while describing my personal journey behind the scenes.

Chapter 8 Spiritual Sexuality

So, what is the difference between me and another guy sitting at Starbucks who is checking out the ladies? Why would I attempt to elevate myself beyond the status of just some dude ogling women at the Starbucks, you might ask?

Well, a couple of things separate me from this idiot.

First, I am emotionally honest about it. In other words, I will openly admit it to anyone who asks me. This, in itself, exemplifies an alternate state of consciousness. In other words, I am not trying to cover it up by either repressing it within myself or lying to someone else about it.

For example, there was a guy sharing my table the other day at the Starbucks in Walnut Creek. A beautiful Italian woman came in who had an extremely athletic build which I found fascinating. I admired the way she had crafted her body through exercise. Every woman is beautiful to me and wears her beauty in her own way. This woman had refined her body in an athletic kind of way. This guy sharing my table was pretending to be busy, doing some sort of work, but he was watching her too. So I said: “She has a nice athletic body, eh?” And, can you guess what his reply was? A slightly embarrassed grunt “umgh” as if he wasn’t really looking at her and who am I to even bring it up!? In other words, total unconsciousness. A person who is this unconscious might be the very person who cheats on his wife. He pretends that he isn’t staring at every single woman around him, but he is busy doing exactly that.

You do not have to worry about the people who put it out there. Emotionally honest people, even if they are rude, are in the light. Let me say that again: Emotionally honest people are in the light. Whereas, emotionally dishonest people (deeply unconscious people), are in the dark. Do you understand the powerful difference here?

One guy might say that he is checking out the chicks at Starbucks. Another guy might say that he would never do anything like that, but he is busy cheating on his wife with a woman he met at Starbucks.

This also applies to women. I’ve dated women who adamantly deny that they crave external validation only to find that they are secretly making eye contact with every single dude that walks by. When confronted with this they are in total denial.

Why?

Because anything that deeply unconscious cannot be admitted as a conscious act.

You might as well ask a gerbil why they are looking at somebody, as ask an unconscious girlfriend or boyfriend that question. The only difference is that the gerbil won’t become angry with you. We could also look at why it bothers you that your partner is looking at somebody or why you notice it or why you feel the need to confront that. This is sort of beside the point I am trying to make right now though.

Here is another way of speaking about emotional honesty: If you run into someone in New York City who doesn’t like you, guess what? They will tell say it to your face – and not in a nice way.

By contrast, if you run into someone in Los Angeles who doesn’t like you, guess what? They will smile at your face and shake your hand. But, you will leave that interaction with an ungood feeling.

Why?

Because anyone, even unconscious people, sense that something is just not right. That person who doesn’t like you gave you a cold prickly instead of a warm fuzzy.

Think of it this way: Would you rather have a cold prickly on the outside of you, where you can see it, and not take it too personally? Or, would you rather have a cold prickly somewhere inside of you, and not understand where this yucky feeling is coming from?

Are you starting to get the picture now?

Of course, you can take this to the extreme too, especially a lot of men whom I have observed. “Hey man, I love women, what can I say?” That phrase has been uttered by more than one man who rationalizes that he is emotionally honest as a way to basically try to sleep with as many women as he can. Now we have a dude who is basically unconscious and additionally manipulative. Big fun for women.

I consider myself to be a sexual being. But, what does that mean? By saying that, am I creating an excuse so that I can live my life in a certain way? I think it is new and important for us to address our assumptions about ourselves. More people are beginning to recognize core aspects of themselves, whether they use numerology, integral theory, or transpersonal psychology. Along with them, I am trying to become more aware of various aspects of myself; I am trying to categorize the various aspects of my ‘self’, as it were.

This powerful tool might help me understand myself, but could it become a handicap?

Consider this categorization: “I am a Type A personality.”

This is an example of a gross overgeneralization that permeates our modern day culture. So, you’re telling me that there are two types of personalities: Type A and Type B? That’s it? “Oh yeah, I’m a Type A for sure man.”

This is obviously ridiculous and cannot even remotely encompass the human experience. However, now we have spiritual people doing it with all manner of different types of personality charts. Ok, so in the beginning I would be inclined to agree that this can offer valuable insight into one’s own psyche in that you can potentially become aware of who you are and why you do what you do.

Got it.

But, what if I denote that I am a ‘sexual being’, so to speak? Do I then get to rationalize my behavior by going around sleeping with as many women as I can? Because let me tell you, I can. I could say, “Well, I am a very sexual being and being sexually intimate with women is something that my Soul yearns for. I feel energized and excited by being with different women. I truly love women and love being with them.”

Will you buy that for a dollar?

You can apply the ‘I am an xyz type of personality/soul’ to any scenario to rationalize and perpetuate any behavior. So, it can get messy. So it becomes important to understand the real meaning of ‘Integration.’

Christopher Pinckley is the author of Reality Creation 101, a ground breaking spiritual self-help book about healing your unconscious and learning how to become the conscious creator of your own experience. He is also a spiritual teacher, blogger, and life coach. Look for his break through coaching program at the start of 2011. http://www.realitycreation101.com/

 

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John and Joe

John Vigiano Sr. is a retired New York City firefighter whose two sons followed him into service—John Jr. was a firefighter, too, and Joe was a police detective. On September 11, 2001, both Vigiano brothers responded to the call from the World Trade Center, and both were killed while saving others. Here, John Sr. remembers his sons and reflects on coping with his tremendous loss.

This Is Why I Call It a ‘LifeDream‘…

I was having one of those days when you ‘know’ you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be…

After I dropped my wife, Jenny, off to do a Reiki healing on her mom (a miracle in itself), I went for a hike to rejuvenate. I went to a local park that I‘d seen on a map of the area, not realizing it was a campground rather than a hiking area. My logical mind thought about getting back in the car and looking elsewhere, but I felt that Spirit had other plans for me.

I wandered past dirty picnic tables and through the faint trails between the connector roads and empty site lots. It was still off-season, and what few campers there were at that time eyed me suspiciously – why would anyone be wandering around here anyway? I imagined that theft happened pretty often here, it being so close to town. You could hear the expressway – it wasn’t exactly a wildlife area, unless you count the empty bottles and chip bags, signs of the previous night’s parties.

Listening to my intuitive promptings about where to go, it appeared after a while that I was being left feather hints (Wolf often leaves them for me as sacred path signs). I got to what seemed an unlikely spot in the middle of a trail. Squirrel! I’d been thinking of getting my cashews out anyway… but he left. Funny, you’d think he’d be used to handouts from campers (yeah, I know, I shouldn’t feed the wildlife). Ok, that squirrel was gone, but I could see another one just ahead, sitting on a stump, busily eating, watching me from a distance (but pretending not to notice me, I thought). Looking around, it wasn’t exactly picturesque. This spot didn’t really have a view at all, but it did have a log to sit on (imitate Squirrel, I wondered? After all, he was eating his lunch). I’m supposed to have my lunch here? I sat down and opened up my bag. Then I saw a mound of feather fluff (a kill site), and I knew I was supposed to be there.

As I was just about done, I could see a man walking down the trail towards me. Ordinarily, I’d have been at least a little surprised, but I can’t say that I was today. Earlier, I’d seen what I’d describe as a ‘serviceable’ camper parked just outside the park boundary – people living on the fringes, I thought, perhaps not wanting (or able) to pay even the off-season fee. If I wouldn’t have stopped for lunch (thanks, Squirrel!), I’d have missed the upcoming encounter altogether. He walked with a stick he’d picked up. He was a thin wisp of a man. If you were to ask me to imagine a hermit… He seemed a little surprised that I was being friendly to him.

“I was hoping this was a park with hiking trails”, I said, after exchanging some quick pleasantries.

He gave me directions to an out-of-the-way area, tucked between a sports field and – again – the highway. It didn’t sound like anything you’d find on a guide-map. I headed that way anyway, since it was in the direction of my car, thinking that I could at least look polite about following his directions (even if I did decide to drive off). And on my way there, I saw a rabbit. Rabbit is about fear, but he’s also about changing directions. As I got to the car, Rabbit came out of the bushes I’d seen him disappear into a second ago, and he continued down the road towards a sports field (in the direction the man had suggested). “Looked like rain”, he’d said. I figured it as a good sign; I picked up the hat and raincoat I’d left in the back seat and followed my furry little buddy.

I found the trails all right. It turned out that they were behind a school. Hmmm… I was going to learn something today, wasn’t I? Again, it wasn’t exactly what you’d call ‘pristine wilderness.’ There were burned out stumps where kids had been playing with matches, for instance, and an old mattress – a make-out mattress(?) I didn’t want to know. With how I’m describing things, don’t think for a second that I didn’t appreciate the nature that was there. I wholeheartedly believe that even though kids came there for other reasons altogether, nature gives herself to heal them, unconditionally.

The path ahead of me finally started to look a little more promising/picturesque. So why was Spirit urging me to go right? That way would take me to the top of a small ridge that was blocking the sound of traffic from the roadway (the busy traffic to and from the ferry terminal, no less). Ordinarily, I wouldn’t have been there at all, headed towards that noise, on a nature walk especially. “But what’s that little bright blue thing, part-way up?” I wondered. When I got to it, it turned out to be just a piece of cast away plastic. Thinking on the significance of it though, “…blue does symbolize clarity.”

It wasn’t really a trail that I was on at all; it was more like bushwhacking. Once at the top of the ridge though, I did feel as though I was in ‘the right spot‘. I looked around, thinking that perhaps Spirit was leading me to an animal sighting. Who would it be, I thought, and why would they be here, of all places? After all, the highway was right there, and I could imagine the activities of kids scaring pretty much everything off during the school-week. Mind you, cougars had to hide somewhere, and there had been the rare sightings around the city after all. Could I even hope for something as exciting as that here? I looked around, and then I looked up…

…and then I looked down. There was a nondescript piece of crumpled fabric at my feet. I considered it for a second. I thought that perhaps my ‘mission’ was to intuit who might have left it (not that I’d ever done that before), but then I considered that it didn’t really matter… “I think I’m here to receive”.

I grabbed a fold and tugged it up from the ground. The forest had started to reclaim it; it must have been there for some time. It looked like a throw rug, or a wall hanging maybe, but I couldn’t quite make out the design (at first). “It used to be quite colorful once,” I thought. It didn’t take me long – likely because of my experience discerning images in my portraiture work – before I made out the lighthouse. I spread it out a little better, took this photo, and accentuated it’s image when I got home:

As I rounded the corner before mum’s house, I already had the feeling that I’d be arriving too early. I looked in through the front window – Jenny was still working on her. I walked towards the shops, thinking I’d perhaps pick up a present for Jenny.

I noticed “The Haunted Bookshop”, and went in (as Spirit knew I would), curious as to whether I’d pick something up – a ‘presence’, perhaps? (Sorry about the bad pun, but I really couldn’t help myself.) Usually, I’m not one for used book stores, but – considering the day I’d been having – I was at this point assuming I was fated to go in.

I looked around aimlessly until I noticed that I was in front of the ‘art’ section. I didn’t see anything that interested me. I considered a stack of magazines. I closed my eyes and pulled one out. It was on colour mixing – a little dated, and not necessarily anything I didn’t already know. I thought that perhaps coming in was just about killing time after all, and headed for the door.

Before I tell you what happened next, I’ll tell you (for those of you who don’t know) that Jenny and I had been working at manifesting a move to Edinburgh (and working at keeping the faith on it actually happening …considering that we’d been picking bottles off the beach for food around this time, it didn‘t seem in any way ‘realistic‘). I turned right into a shelf of books about Scotland! There were two right in front of my face that I couldn’t ignore if I tried: one had a large graphic of the Scottish Thistle on its cover, and the other… a lighthouse being built! “The Lighthouse Stevensons: The Extraordinary Story of the Building of the Scottish Lighthouses by the Ancestors of Robert Louis Stevenson” by Bella Bathurst.

Besides delivering messages, Pigeon medicine is also about returning home… I’d never been there before, but I couldn’t help it at that moment… Scotland. felt. like. home.

There are people who would read my story from which you’d hear the words ‘coincidence’, perhaps ‘crazy’ even, but you know what? I’m really happy, and I’m pretty damn sure I’m on the right path. You want answers? Look inside, and open your eyes.

All the Love you can handle, and then some

David J. (Mac)Nagy

As I mentioned, I originally wrote this in May of 2010 (as “Pigeon Medicine – This is why I call it a LifeDream“). Remembering my time on the beach back then, it all seemed so unlikely, but as of today, I’ll have been in Scotland for 6 incredible months!

In honour of all the signs on your life path,

Big Medicine Love to you,

~ Black Feather

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Milka: One Woman’s Story

Milka: One Woman’s Story from Nuru International on Vimeo.

Milka Marwa is one of Nuru International’s members in Kuria, Kenya. This video depicts her journey since becoming part of Nuru.

“Since Nuru has come, my life has really changed. My husband and I both work on our farm. We were getting three bags of maize per acre. When Nuru came, they gave us a loan of good seeds and fertilizer. We were able to get 18 bags of maize per acre. Now [that] we have enough maize [to eat], we can sell part of it.”

Milka’s story is just one of the thousands of stories of individuals who have been impacted by Nuru’s work in Kuria, Kenya. To learn more, visit: nuruinternational.org

A Gift From An Unlikely Place…

I had the honor of doing one of my workshops (“An Introduction to Balance”) recently to a group of 21 teenage boys who were incarcerated at a youth correctional facility. The beauty of my workshops are that they are a bit different each time because of their interactive nature and the flow of the different participants that come through. What I witnessed that day while presenting to these young men will stick with me for a very long time. I had no idea what to expect or what kind of reaction I would get from them and basically was a bit nervous that there wouldn’t be very much interaction. What happened totally blew me away….

Instead of having a lot of silence and looks of “why am I here” from the youth, I found many very intelligent young men who couldn’t wait to speak and share their experiences, their regrets and their dreams. The depth of some of the youth was quite amazing to behold. Some talked of already having forgiven their peers who played a part in having them incarcerated in the first place. Many talked about how they wanted to go to college and how they were going to make it happen. Some talked about wanting to raise healthy families even though it wasn’t something that was modeled for them while they grew up. Others talked about forgiving themselves for the crimes that they committed so that they could move forward. A few made mention that they had separated themselves from their mothers or fathers, brothers or sisters, and friends to get away from their past of violence, crime, abuse and gang interaction.

I even had one teen tell me how he wanted to eventually be a youth counselor so he could help others like himself break free of their pasts and lead healthy futures. He told me that although he had no credits toward his high school degree when he was incarcerated, in two years he had almost completed his high school degree and would be able to start taking some college level classes. He then went on to tell me some of the pressures he is facing to make that dream happen. Apparently a friend of his and member of the gang he used to be a part of was recently shot by a rival gang member. The rival gang member was caught by the police and may possibly be sent to the same facility where the teen is incarcerated. The teen has received letters from the leader of his gang telling him he needs to take care of or avenge his friends shooting when the rival gang member arrives. He shared with me that he is really feeling a lot of pressure internally to honor his gang’s wishes. But for him to keep his “eye on the prize” of helping others and getting his college degree he needs to look the other way. I can only imagine how difficult it is for him. His mom is even hoping that he doesn’t go “soft” and takes care of his gang business. All I can say is wow…. Children normally look to their parents for guidance, love and good advice. Can you imagine having your parents tell you something that in your heart you know is wrong and that it could effect your life forever? I certainly can’t. Here’s to hoping that he does that right thing.

I left that facility after the workshop feeling blessed in many different ways. Blessed that I had a healthy and happy childhood. Blessed that I didn’t have as many obstacles to face to reach my goals and dreams as many of these young men do. Blessed that I had the opportunity to hopefully play a small role in helping these teens learn a bit more about themselves and give them some hope for their future. And blessed that I had the humbling opportunity to learn from them and realize what a gift freedom and choice is; something that they currently don’t have.

Here’s to hoping that all of these teens are able to turn their lives around and lead happy, productive lives when they get out. Unfortunately the odds don’t support my hopes. However after listening to many of them yesterday and feeling their energy and spirit rise in their voices; I am confident that some will. If a troubled youth from a violent and abusive past can make their dreams and goals come true…why can’t those of us who haven’t had the setbacks that they have make our goals and dreams come true? Something to think about…..

Technorati Tags: Balance, dreams, Goals, inspiration, inspiring, learning, love, optimism, overcoming odds, teens, youth

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