My girlfriend Sadie has been single as long as I’ve known her. She is beautiful, sweet, intelligent and successful. She actively dates and I hear the same stories over and over from her… He still hasn’t called. He called but he’s too busy to see her right now. He’s busy with work, so had to cancel again. It seems as though she is one of those women who can’t admit when a guy just isn’t that into her.
I am single myself, but I don’t share her experience. I know when a guy is interested. When I go out with him and he calls the next day asking me out to dinner, I know he’s in. If he doesn’t, he’s not. If he e-mails a sweet note, suggesting that he’s thinking of me, he’s interested, if he doesn’t, he’s not. I don’t waste my time on the “nots’.
But Sadie does. She continues to date the same guys over and over. And of course, her self-esteem decreases. And when she asks for my thoughts, I gently suggest that she is an active part of this pattern, and also that she deserves better. It’s up to her to demand it. But she is blind to the depth of this pattern. Once she acknowledges it, and is ready to invest in making shifts, her story will change. I have faith that day will come soon.
We all are blind in some way or another. And here’s the key to seeing the light: When we recognize a pattern: anything that keeps repeating, or anything that makes us feel stuck, it’s usually, at least partially, our own fault. We keep asking the universe, “Why does this keep happening to me?” And the answer, most likely is, “because you are allowing it to.” I played the part of the victim for many years. “No,” I would say, “It’s NOT me, how could it be?” And then, thank god, I realized I was walking around blindly.
Now I do my best to swallow my ego, and take ownership of my patterns. I’m actually grateful to discover when I’m ‘wrong’ about something, because it’s only then I’m motivated to make alternative choices that better serves me. And I’ll tell ya, life is a lot more fun, when you’re not walking around in the dark; there’s a lot less tripping and banging into walls. 😉
Tamara Levitt is the founder of Begin Within Productions http://www.beginwithinproductions.com where she creates multi-media properties (including books, television/film projects and ancillary) to entertain, educate and empower individuals. She has additionally developed the website http://beginwithin.ca. Here she shares resources, blogs, original music and videos designed to inspire and assist others in navigating the world of today.
For the past 15 years, her dedication to her own personal development, through study, contemplation, meditation and integration has been paramount. She has actively explored a wide variety of spiritual practices, traditions, and healing modalities. She has attended experiential workshops, seminars, empowerments, and retreats all designed to develop ones spiritual and personal growth. Tamara can be hired for speaking engagements and works as an empowerment facilitator.
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