Depression : Extending a helping hand
July 6, 2010 by Kenneth Lane and Philip Viana
Filed under •-Headline, Personal Growth, Spirituality
Suffering from depression can be an agonizing experience and watching someone else struggle through it can be just as hard. We want to alleviate our friends and family of the pain, but many times it is hard to know how to help someone who is suffering from depression. To avoid any actions that might create tension between you and the person you are trying to help it can be good to keep some things in mind.
Reassure the person by explaining to them why you love and or respect them. You have to make it perfectly clear that your intention is to build them up and in no way to hurt them. While it might be easy to challenge a person with their shortcomings in attempt to correct whatever you see as a harmful habit, it can also cause a person to become defensive and unresponsive. It has to be clear to them that whatever you are doing is in their best interest.
While depression is an internal struggle, it affects the people around the depressed person as much as it does them. Large interventions may have its place, but a depressed person’s greatest eye opener comes when they are confronted by a key person in their life that they love and or respect. A person suffering from depression can go years without acknowledging the problem and be oblivious to it. It can be easy to say the world hates me, nothing matters and I am always going to be miserable. So easy, that a person rarely sees how their emotional state affects the people around them. Once, confronted with ideas that challenge their long held distorted belief of the world, a positive change can manifest itself.
If you have cast judgment on the person’s life choices, friends, and job be sure to keep it to yourself. At least for the time being, as the first stage of helping someone with depression is to build a line of communication. Both sides need to be open to challenging their preconceived ideas and be willing to see reality from the other persons view. It will help the process if you can find unique ideas, ideals, or things that will motivate your friend to change for the better.
Ultimately, your goal is to break the person’s armour of anger and sadness enough to get them to see a need for change. Forcing them to make changes that they don’t want to make will only create anger and resentment. Threats and cajoling will only let the person find more reasons not to change.
Once you have an opening, be ready to give them the information they need. This includes how you or people you know found help when they faced a similar situation. It can be the name of a good therapist, book, medication or group. You are giving them a place to start.
Although, you are hoping for the best, a person needs to be ready to be disappointed. People are creatures of habit, and although contentment and happiness are great goals, for many it is a lofty one. It can take multiple starts with different motivations for someone to finally receive help and find the solutions to their depression.
Finding our way
June 16, 2010 by Kenneth Lane and Philip Viana
Filed under •-Headline, Inspired Business
For every career opportunity that we accept it provides us the ability to discover more about ourselves. Each new company, position or responsibility gives us the opportunity for introspection and reflection.
As you put your best effort into each opportunity you will find aspects of each position that appeal to you and aspects that don’t appeal to you. You will also begin to interact with others who have a passion for this job which allows you to determine if you have the same passion or not.
Sometimes, you will be put in a position that may not be your strongest and be given a superior who is not supportive and team friendly. When this happens to you it is imperative that you realize your strengths and what you offer. A rough job and poor manager may lead you to begin doubting your ability, don’t let this happen!
The worst possible situation is if you begin to let your mind run away with negativity. The negative mind has a powerful negative pull on your energy, self esteem, and self worth. If this were to occur your ability to improve your situation at your current job or to have the energy to find a new job becomes negatively affected. You will begin to doubt your ability to offer anything positive to any employer.
Imagine yourself in a career where you are more energized when you leave at the end of the day then before it began. A career where you don’t hate Monday’s just because they are the beginning of a new work week and a career where happiness is abundant.
These opportunities exist in the world. Finding your passion for your career will save a lifetime of mental anguish that will also generate positive results in other parts of your life. Reflect on what your life would be like if you were to get up and enjoy every day. Where would you be emotionally, mentally and physically with that type of positive energy?
Take the time you need to find a passionate career. Take the time to determine what changes you can make in your life for the short term to have success in the long term. Take time for yourself; because once you take care of you, you are able to take care of others.
Your natural abilities
June 2, 2010 by Kenneth Lane and Philip Viana
Filed under •-Headline, Family & Relationships
Every one of us is born with a natural ability, a natural strength that needs to be nurtured, to grow, and expand so it can be shared with the world. Working against our natural strength is counter intuitive to nature.
Mark Twain described a man who died and was met at the pearly gates by Saint Peter.
The man says to Saint Peter “Sir, you know what a huge war history buff I am, can you tell me who the best General ever was?”
Saint Peter says “That’s easy; it’s that man over there.” The man looks at the gentleman Saint Peter is pointing to and says “I know him. He was a day laborer.” Yes, says Saint Peter – But he would have been the greatest General in history, if he had become a General.
You might ask, how do I find my natural strengths without extensive testing. While aptitude tests are an excellent source of insight for people, it also creates the opportunity to over complicate the issues.
Unfortunately, today’s education system creates well rounded individuals ready for the waiting workforce but it also has the ability to drum their natural strengths out of them. The system stresses the importance of math and science, but leaves a large gap when a students natural abilities aren’t related to those two subjects.
Although, it may be too late for adults, parents have to be mindful of this reality and make sure teens are exposed to a multitude of activities to make up for the lack of options in school. Even as adults, people need to keep up their education and hobbies. Just because you lose interest or fail to find satisfaction in the new activity it will ultimately allow for personal and career growth. It is all about the opportunities you offer yourself and your children. Do not limit yourself by your past life experience.
Now would be a good time to buy a notebook and label it your activity and career journal. Start by writing down all the things that you want to experience and learn. Over time, you will make it a priority to take action on the things you have written. Ultimately, you may find that continuing education and hobbies will be one way to reveal your natural strengths.
Simply, your natural strengths are the skills that come easiest to you. For some, it can be taking machines or electronics apart and putting them back together. Others will find their natural empathy makes them the go to person for friends and family because they have great empathy. Some will be great at doing everybody’s taxes, singing, writing, planning, reading, making others feel good or being a connector among people.
Take that notebook out again and make yourself a list of things that you enjoy doing for others and yourself. Do a search on the internet and try to match these activities and skills to careers and job postings on the internet. Make note of all the positions that keep coming up in your searches and how see how they fit your dream jobs, skills, and passions. While your natural skill in math may be well used in accounting, your skills as a communicator and passion in education would make you better suited to be a math teacher. Ultimately, you have to be happy.
Take your time and make sure this is what you want to do with your skills. While you can make the leap and take a job that matches your natural strengths and passions. You can always volunteer your time with a group or company to gain insight into the career without giving up your day job before it is prudent.
Work hard at determining your natural strengths by keeping your options open and listing out what fits and what doesn’t. Combine this list of strengths with potential careers that will utilize most if not all of those skills and lastly put the skills to use in the position you want at a company that you are passionate about. Building your perfect career is like cooking, you have to mix in the correct ingredients at the right time and correct amounts to have a success.
Steps to Uncovering Your Passion
May 5, 2010 by Kenneth Lane and Philip Viana
Filed under •-Headline, Personal Growth, Spirituality
We want to give you some tips and techniques that will help uncover your passion and change your life. It’s great to read books or articles about finding the right career, but what good are they when you don’t even know where to start?
This is where you start; with baby steps you will be led down a path to find your career passion.
Step #1
You need to determine who you are.
This may seem like an easy thing, but self-examination is always harder than it looks. Make a list of qualities that define you, traits that determine your personal values, and make you the person you are.
This is an important step and may take the longest to complete. Be truthful to yourself, under intense self-examination pick values that are 100% you, not things that are you “most of the time”. The difference between the two is that “most of the time” values are ones that you will bend when it makes life easier for you or less complicated, while the other you will never change. Almost everyone says they are trustworthy and most are. Sometimes a person will break trust with a friend or co-worker to advance their own career or agenda. This would be an individual who could not define themselves as trustworthy since they are only trustworthy when it suits them.
Step #2
After determining who exactly you are, you need to look at your skills and abilities.
Make a list of things that you feel you are good at and what others say you are good at. Ask your spouse, family member, friends or anybody that will give you an honest answer.
You may be surprised by what others determine you are good at. Every once and a while we complete daily chores or jobs that are so easy to us we don’t recognize that it is a skill.
Step #3
What are you interested in?
There are two angles you want to look at this from:
1) What do you enjoy doing?
2) What angers you enough that you want to fix it?
We all have pet peeves or daily issues that can get under our skin. Look at anger in a positive way and it can be seen as a form of passion and when properly used it can be beneficial. Working to make the world a better place is a passionate career you could enjoy.
For some individuals making a list of pet peeves or daily occurrences that angers them is easier than finding a list of positive passionate interests. This is ok; it may help point you in the right direction.
These are the first three steps that you can take to make your transition from a job to a passionate career.
To make these steps a little bit easier, Inside the Positive has created worksheets that list a variety of questions and personal traits that you can work through to help you. This allows you to start your journey with guidance and support. Finding your passionate career is a road you must travel, but not alone as Inside the Positive will partner with you on this adventure. www.insidethepositive.com
Ken and Phil
Following your passion
April 21, 2010 by Kenneth Lane and Philip Viana
Filed under •-Feature, Inspired Business, Personal Growth
Even for the luckiest of people, life can be a struggle at times. There are never enough hours in the day to accomplish what is expected of you. Even worse, you are not getting the return you would expect from the mental, physical and emotional investment you put into your life and work.
Ultimately, you are faced with an existence where your needs, wants and passions become ignored. There is no time left to achieve the level of satisfaction that you deserve. But, what if you could embrace your passion?
The balance of work and personal life has been harder to achieve than ever before. People are tethered to work as Black Berry’s and laptops make sure we are never secluded enough to not receive an email. That is why people have to search out a career and environment that matches their goals and what they are passionate about. When work encroaches on your personal life, it becomes that much more important to find your work rewarding.
Although, finding your passion can be a complicated exercise, the initial step can be as basic as writing down the top five things you enjoy. Whether they are things you enjoy at work or on your off time, it is a good indicator of where you want to focus your attention. These things you write down will be what ignites you, motivates you, and fires you up to get out of bed in the morning.
It is time to make the transition from employee drone to happy and productive contributor.
Only a small percentage of the population has achieved this transition. Let us increase this number by joining their ranks. Imagine how good you would feel doing what you love all the time? How would this affect your life at home? Wouldn’t the positive effects of doing passionate work resonate throughout your whole life? We all know it would.
Do not be afraid if you lack the direct experience or education in what you want to do. Focusing the mind and body on a goal motivated by passion will diminish your fears, limitations and allow you to overcome your perceived limitations.
Following your passion does not mean you have to sacrifice financial security. Being in different stages of your life will dictate the steps and the speeds you take them. A person who is the bread winner for their family and has two children will have to accept that change may not come quickly, while, the young and unattached person has less to fear in chasing their dreams. Passion does not mean you do not have to have to weigh risk and reward. The most successful people are also usually the most calculating.
“Embrace your passion” is the motto that we fully embrace. Once you can live this motto you are close to finding the happiness and contentment that many of us are struggling to achieve.
Please, follow us as we provide ways to realize a passionate career
VividLife.me Contributors
Co-founder of Inside the Positive, Philip Viana and Ken Lane are long time business partners who have been sales and management consultants since 2008. They help people define their personal and professional goals by allowing them to recognize and embrace their passions. Beside personal consultation, the company helps business find better ways to communicate with their staff and set up work groups to help managers lead their subordinates. Ken is an accomplished speaker who is always happy to lead groups in expanding their minds and removing their limitations. Philip is a part time cartoonist and technophile who coaches people on using tools and hacks to help organize their life.
