My latest work is called ‘The Guru and the Jerk’ and is the first of a new, emotionally honest trilogy
I recently completed the final edit for The Guru and the Jerk. I had previously released this book only to find that I had neglected quite a few grammatical errors. My hope had been to release this book as raw as I possibly could, but this approach backfired on me as it needed editing. So, now it’s done! The book will be available as a kindle ebook at first, and then later as a paperback.
In this work I bring a ‘no holds barred’ approach to spirituality and self help which I feel has been missing for way too long. There is just too much misinformation and conflicting opinions and beliefs out there to let this go on any longer. People are becoming scared of what they think and feel for fear that they are going to create a catastrophe for themselves. A lot of people are trying to make spiritual bypasses and delve into the spiritual realms hoping that they can create heaven on Earth. While that’s not a completely bad idea in itself, it does not lend to creating the life of your dreams if you are repressing your emotional states of being during the process.
Thus, The Guru and the Jerk is all about emotional honesty and a hard, behind the scenes look at the making of a spiritual teacher and self help author.
I hope you enjoy the honesty, the frankness, and the realism that I provide while describing my personal journey behind the scenes.
Chapter 8 Spiritual Sexuality
So, what is the difference between me and another guy sitting at Starbucks who is checking out the ladies? Why would I attempt to elevate myself beyond the status of just some dude ogling women at the Starbucks, you might ask?
Well, a couple of things separate me from this idiot.
First, I am emotionally honest about it. In other words, I will openly admit it to anyone who asks me. This, in itself, exemplifies an alternate state of consciousness. In other words, I am not trying to cover it up by either repressing it within myself or lying to someone else about it.
For example, there was a guy sharing my table the other day at the Starbucks in Walnut Creek. A beautiful Italian woman came in who had an extremely athletic build which I found fascinating. I admired the way she had crafted her body through exercise. Every woman is beautiful to me and wears her beauty in her own way. This woman had refined her body in an athletic kind of way. This guy sharing my table was pretending to be busy, doing some sort of work, but he was watching her too. So I said: “She has a nice athletic body, eh?” And, can you guess what his reply was? A slightly embarrassed grunt “umgh” as if he wasn’t really looking at her and who am I to even bring it up!? In other words, total unconsciousness. A person who is this unconscious might be the very person who cheats on his wife. He pretends that he isn’t staring at every single woman around him, but he is busy doing exactly that.
You do not have to worry about the people who put it out there. Emotionally honest people, even if they are rude, are in the light. Let me say that again: Emotionally honest people are in the light. Whereas, emotionally dishonest people (deeply unconscious people), are in the dark. Do you understand the powerful difference here?
One guy might say that he is checking out the chicks at Starbucks. Another guy might say that he would never do anything like that, but he is busy cheating on his wife with a woman he met at Starbucks.
This also applies to women. I’ve dated women who adamantly deny that they crave external validation only to find that they are secretly making eye contact with every single dude that walks by. When confronted with this they are in total denial.
Because anything that deeply unconscious cannot be admitted as a conscious act.
You might as well ask a gerbil why they are looking at somebody, as ask an unconscious girlfriend or boyfriend that question. The only difference is that the gerbil won’t become angry with you. We could also look at why it bothers you that your partner is looking at somebody or why you notice it or why you feel the need to confront that. This is sort of beside the point I am trying to make right now though.
Here is another way of speaking about emotional honesty: If you run into someone in New York City who doesn’t like you, guess what? They will tell say it to your face – and not in a nice way.
By contrast, if you run into someone in Los Angeles who doesn’t like you, guess what? They will smile at your face and shake your hand. But, you will leave that interaction with an ungood feeling.
Because anyone, even unconscious people, sense that something is just not right. That person who doesn’t like you gave you a cold prickly instead of a warm fuzzy.
Think of it this way: Would you rather have a cold prickly on the outside of you, where you can see it, and not take it too personally? Or, would you rather have a cold prickly somewhere inside of you, and not understand where this yucky feeling is coming from?
Are you starting to get the picture now?
Of course, you can take this to the extreme too, especially a lot of men whom I have observed. “Hey man, I love women, what can I say?” That phrase has been uttered by more than one man who rationalizes that he is emotionally honest as a way to basically try to sleep with as many women as he can. Now we have a dude who is basically unconscious and additionally manipulative. Big fun for women.
I consider myself to be a sexual being. But, what does that mean? By saying that, am I creating an excuse so that I can live my life in a certain way? I think it is new and important for us to address our assumptions about ourselves. More people are beginning to recognize core aspects of themselves, whether they use numerology, integral theory, or transpersonal psychology. Along with them, I am trying to become more aware of various aspects of myself; I am trying to categorize the various aspects of my ‘self’, as it were.
This powerful tool might help me understand myself, but could it become a handicap?
Consider this categorization: “I am a Type A personality.”
This is an example of a gross overgeneralization that permeates our modern day culture. So, you’re telling me that there are two types of personalities: Type A and Type B? That’s it? “Oh yeah, I’m a Type A for sure man.”
This is obviously ridiculous and cannot even remotely encompass the human experience. However, now we have spiritual people doing it with all manner of different types of personality charts. Ok, so in the beginning I would be inclined to agree that this can offer valuable insight into one’s own psyche in that you can potentially become aware of who you are and why you do what you do.
But, what if I denote that I am a ‘sexual being’, so to speak? Do I then get to rationalize my behavior by going around sleeping with as many women as I can? Because let me tell you, I can. I could say, “Well, I am a very sexual being and being sexually intimate with women is something that my Soul yearns for. I feel energized and excited by being with different women. I truly love women and love being with them.”
Will you buy that for a dollar?
You can apply the ‘I am an xyz type of personality/soul’ to any scenario to rationalize and perpetuate any behavior. So, it can get messy. So it becomes important to understand the real meaning of ‘Integration.’
Christopher Pinckley is the author of Reality Creation 101, a ground breaking spiritual self-help book about healing your unconscious and learning how to become the conscious creator of your own experience. He is also a spiritual teacher, blogger, and life coach. Look for his break through coaching program at the start of 2011. http://www.realitycreation101.com/
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