“How can I honestly express myself when I fear that others will think less of me? How can I be true to my heart when I fear the reactions of the person that I would like to be able to be truthful to?
During the various seasons as we are meeting with many people familiar and unfamiliar this is a perfect time to be conscious of a new way of dealing with old situations that no longer serve a purpose.
There is no purpose in creating fear or anger within yourself or in others. There is no purpose in bringing your heart to a space where joy and light fade into the mundane disappointments and disillusionments that are inevitable when we go down a well-trodden path that leads to nowhere.
There is a purpose though to practice what it means to be free and conscious. The purpose being that we give less of who we are to the old and move forward to a space that is uniquely in this moment by focusing on the joy and freedom of what it means to be conscious. Conscious of the parts of yourself that make you uniquely human and more. Conscious of the parts of yourself that celebrate this moment in a completely free way.
We need to be clear that the burden of the old no longer needs to be our paradigm but rather the birth of the new light that is forever inside of our hearts. This will make everyone joyous and change the structure of the situation that is causing the sense of confrontation.
In a practical sense, once this thought is brought into the light of your consciousness there are a few steps that are easy to practice to make this a reality in all the different situations. The situations that as human beings we find ourselves in and are challenged to make visible our unique truth in each moment.
Some people do not like confrontation. Some people do not like it when people confront them or when there is a situation which requires a confrontation as the best way to proceed. Some people prefer to run away from the issues requiring confrontation.
Instead of looking at confrontation as an issue that will cause pain and thus continue to practice the method of avoiding the issue, why not utilise your heartfelt communication in a new way.
Take a deep breath. Relax all the muscles in the body and focus on the love and consciousness that comes from the space of being in this moment. Choose this harmonious consciousness rather than getting caught up in the idea of pain. The pain is simply based on belief systems from the past and ideas of possible painful futures rather than the unique presence of this actual moment.
Joyous communication is the way.
With every aspect of your communication, rather than bring in the pain of the past or the fear of the future, express the joy of what it means to be able to move through this wonderful lesson to a space that brings you closer to the joy of being in deep communication with another wonderful human being.
Instead of pretending nothing is wrong or escaping into your old pattern and belief systems, which often blows things out of proportion as your pain is projected onto the pain that you feel this communication is causing, there are some easy steps you can take to transcend rather than try to resolve the issue.
The first step is to completely come into your center and not to utter any words until you have taken a few deep breaths and calmed your body into a normal, relaxed state. Take a few moments to analyse what it is that your body is actually feeling in this moment. Especially the shoulders, the jaws, the thighs, the mouth. If they are not relaxed, take a few more moments to consciously feel that these parts of your body are flowing with the warm sensation of love.
The next step is to observe what the communication is really about. Most of us get caught up in the feelings that are triggered by a communication and hence communicate from the feelings that are triggered rather than the actual communication that may help transcend the block. This is called projection and hence what we are asking the people we are communicating with is for them to react to our projection. Then we can continue a vicious circle of understanding our pain rather than finding freedom and consciousness in the situation that truly requires this.
When you continue the process of joyous communication you are more easily able to evaluate clearly what is going on, what is happening, and hence comprehend what is actually affecting the behaviours and conditions creating the situation that is not bringing you joy.
It is important to differentiate the pain from the past or from the future or from the expectations of the future and remain an observer. This means dropping criticism, judgement, subtle provocations and sarcasms, blaming, causing pain or whatever mechanisms whereby you, the observer, becomes the pain.
When you are in this free space of observation notice how you feel. Notice the feeling that is free from projection and is simply discerning the situation from a conscious space. Discernment does not come from feeling but rather from compassion and love that are embracing and expansive no matter what the situation is.
From this space we can create thinking that becomes more intelligent and is more able to express our deeper communications which always contain love, compassion, joy and kindness.
Connect with this depth of consciousness in your communication and trust. Deeply understand that all your needs will be met from this space in relation to what is happening and how you are feeling.
Express what you want from this depth rather than what you don’t want. Affirm in a positive way that what you want is a reality that you trust and know to be possible rather than affirming the blocks and projections in yourself or in other people that confrontational communication thrives on.
Make sure that your affirmations are not demands either crude or subtle. Make sure that you do not create a sense of guilt, fear, shame, insecurity but rather that your affirmations create a space of open embracement that allow for yourself and others to feel the joy of this communication.
Make sure that your communication gives rather than takes. Giving only comes from a space of abundance and consciousness. Part of giving is being able to listen. Giving yourself the gift of listening is giving yourself opportunities that only come when we are able to hear the wisdom not only in ourselves but in all that is around helping us to grow into this sense of oneness and joy.
What a wonderful reality to affirm in all our communications so that every aspect of life becomes more real, more human and more full of compassion for ourselves and all living beings.”
Tony Samara – December 2008