I was listening to a podcast this morning on anxiety, the stigma, and the people who are brave enough to speak up.
I also happened to watch a video that’s trending where Sinead O’Connor shares the vulnerable truth of her mental illness.
Many people offered their prayers, love and light and healing energy via social media. Their intent; kindness, but kindness without action doesn’t go very far.
Every morning I wake up “good”, for lack of a better word that’s what we’ll call it.
In my head, and not so much in the outside world lately, there are birds chirping, sunshine, rainbows, and the odd unicorn wearing pink hot pants ;-), however by the time three o’clock hits, so does the reality of my anxiety.
Throughout the day thoughts accumulate based on whatever has transpired and sometimes on things that haven’t.
Maybe it’s the news, a discussion or the thought of having to do or face something I don’t feel equipped for, or maybe I look down at my dog’s Mr. Anderson and Oliver and start thinking about how they’re going to die, or maybe my husband has left for work and I’m afraid for his life as he drives on the highway, or that people won’t like what I write, or my VividLife Journey’s won’t be well attended, or my new series will flop, that eating so much cheese will give me heart disease, that the water I’m drinking is in plastic, that the cloths I’m wearing may have been made unethically, that I’m not doing enough, that I’m not enough, that maybe I have nothing valuable to say, that I’m too fat, that because I worry about cancer so much I’m going to manifest it, or that my cousin died at my age and she was open and into everything that I am, had a similar life and so I’m going to die now too.
Real or fictitious…
The list goes on and on.
The thoughts start to create physical sensations in my body and based on their intensity sometimes more serious physical expressions.
My breath shallows, my IBS flares up, I get headaches, my face goes numb and I head for the fridge.
Food is how I’ve dealt with my anxiety my whole life.
The battle goes on and on.
Fall seven times get up eight.
And I keep getting up.
There hasn’t been a day, since I can remember anyway, that I haven’t suffered with some sort of anxiety.
But the truth is. No one really knows.
Because up until recently, and even still, I felt it made me weak and I only shared it with those who were very close to me and even still I have only opened up just a little.
I feared they would look at me different, that they wouldn’t trust me and that my credibility as a leader would be shot.
But the deeper truth is, that once I opened up I started to realize we are all suffering from a spectrum of anxiety.
That it’s a natural, intuitive reaction to life’s challenges.
Perhaps it’s becoming more prevalent than ever, because life seems to be becoming more and more complex, perhaps too complex, or too advanced for our level of psychological evolution.
Perhaps we need to slow down a bit.
I’m sure many would argue with me. But this is how I feel.
I feel we need to start moving in the direction of simpler lives.
More barefoot less power suit, if you know what I mean?
I wrote a little reflection about it the other day, you can read it here.
I know it may be a little Utopian, however if we just incorporate a little more barefoot in our lives, perhaps we may be able to breathe a little easier.
But what’s most important in this journey we call life, or that I like to refer to as earth school.
Is that we put up our hand.
That we speak our truth and tell the world…
I HAVE ANXIETY TOO.
Because in pursuit of our vulnerability, our honesty and our authenticity.
We give others permission to do the same.
And then together. Take action.
Less sending prayers on Facebook and more calling up someone, yes you remember what that is don’t you, calling, picking up the phone or even getting in your car and going to visit someone.
Facetime or Messenger may do, but let’s take it deeper.
Face to face connection and a simple…
“How you doing, no how are you doing really?”
We’re in this together,