I left the room before Sarah woke up, wandering the grounds with my heart on my sleeve, her spirit held close. I felt like a remarkably different person from the one who had walked alone the day before. The conditioned male warrior who had ruled my consciousness was nowhere to be found, melted into oneness by love’s transformative medicine. The change was manifest throughout my body. There was a liquidity to it, a beautifully bearable lightness of being. Oh my God, armor weighs so much more than magic.
What a journey this had been already. Within seconds of our first sighting, I had entered a startlingly new landscape, a karmic boot camp of such fervor and ferocity that I could not help but be transformed. By the time we spent our first full day together, I had already changed forms countless times over, shaped and re-shaped in love’s cosmic kiln. And now, in the heart of our first complete lovemaking, I was catapulted to yet another dimension, one where unseen universes rose into view, revealing their sacred fruits. It was as if we had entered a great temple together, with our intimacy as the master key. Now I knew how to answer when asked what my favorite sexual position is: LOVE is my favorite sexual position.
Most startling was the quietness of my mind. Love had put my big brain to sleep and revealed its true purpose as servant to the great master: the love-oxygenated heart. What a realization. The way to calm the monkey mind is to open the human heart. I had spent so much time looking for peace outside of my own heart, but it wasn’t out there. It was within the heart itself, with love as the magic code-breaker. How very simple it actually is- open the gateway to the heart and peace enters.
As I wandered, I marveled at how genderless I felt, almost as though I had entered a gender-inclusive or transgender dimension. Together, our energies had bridged us into something higher, more whole, holier. Although it was sexual union that took us there, the chemistry wasn’t gender sourced, nor was the state we entered gender identified. What got us there was the merging of our twin souls along the heart-genital highway. They wanted only one thing: to merge with their other half.
It struck me that those who condemn another’s sexual orientation merely reveal the absence of depthfulness in their own sexual lives. Because when you have had the highest form of sexual experience- one that is soul-sourced and heart-driven- you immediately recognize that gender is entirely irrelevant. The soul doesn’t care about body parts. It simply loves who it loves.
Through the eyes of essence, I saw gender for what it is: a way station on the karmic quest for wholeness. Perhaps this is what it means to be transgender, in the ultimate sense? You identify with gender until you are ready to transcend it. When you enter great love’s door, you enter an entirely different dimension. The ultimate form is polyphrenic, an inclusive embracing of all archetypes and energies. The perfectly blended juice of divinity. Drink from love and see as God sees.