I awoke the next morning with a new inquiry burning inside: Is love partnership for everyone? Is it essential to a life well lived, or is that just a cultural myth? Is there even an ultimate path, or is life just a patchwork of arbitrary happenings?
On a spiritual level, I was truly at peace with my journey, my choices, my high standards: Live Beloved, or die! Maybe I was single, but it was different now. When you have loved as God loves, you no longer yearn for companionship in the same way. You no longer feel isolated when you walk alone. Because you have been penetrated by divinity. Because you have been transformed beyond yourself. Because you walk in shared shoes. Because you always feel the beloved close at heart.
Yet sometimes, I did feel tinges of doubt and fear creep back in. After all, there was still the practical world to consider. I was middle-aged and still single- was this my destiny? To grow old alone? To cuddle up to my eco-pillow? To drive myself to the hospital when I got sick? Had I forgotten my basic needs in my quest for everything beloved? What about companionship, dear man? What about a hand to hold on a cold winter’s night?
Holding my inquiries close at heart, I went walking. I soon saw Dude leaning against a head shop taking the sun. I opted to run into him- been a long time since I had been fed a Dudism.
“So Dude, I got a question for you…Is partnership for everyone? I mean, it’s clearly not in this chaotic world we live in, but in a healthier world, would we all be doing conscious relationship? Is it necessary as part of a complete life?”
His answer was unusually brief: “To each their path.”
Then he crossed the street and walked in the other direction. Clearly I had touched a nerve again. Love is such a difficult subject for so many of us.
I picked up some churros and sat on the curb and ate them. Dude was right: to each their path. For some of us, a relationship isn’t particularly relevant to our journey in this incarnation. That’s not to say we can live without relationship altogether, but only to say that intimate love relationship isn’t everyone’s portal to God. Love is only one way home.
I went home and scrawled the following on my writing wall. The wall was already filling up, becoming a kaleidoscope of soulspeak…
I have heard so many theories on the question of whether we are complete on our
own, or only complete if we are with another. Because of all the pressure to be
partnered, so many people walk around feeling badly if they are on their own,
and many others stay where they don’t belong for fear that they will be seen
as a failure outside of relationship. All of this misses the point. What is most
important is that each of us lives a life that is true to path, whatever that means
to us. For some, their sacred purpose is inextricably linked to love relationship. It
is there that they excavate and humanifest their deepest meaning. Yet others are
called in a different direction and find their purpose in their creative life, in their
work, in their individual spiritual practice. Everyone’s soul-scriptures are unique
to their own journey. The important thing in life is not whether we find the “one”
but whether we find the path.
And then I began to cry. Tears fell on the keyboard as I felt into the depth of what I had just expressed. In one way, it was beautifully uplifting. There was hope for all of us, even if we never found a life partner. We were all here for a reason- we just had to find ours. But in another way, I sensed that I had just penned a reflection of my true destiny: perpetual singlehood. There wasn’t going to be another beloved. My path lies elsewhere.