When a relationship hits a rocky patch, it can be difficult to decide what to do next. Sometimes you need to take a break and just relax. Know that whatever needs to happen will, so don’t force anything or push your partner into anything.
If you’re trying to find help online, it’s easy to feel snowed under by the sheer volume of information out there. Once in a while, you don’t want to read an entire blog about just one topic—you want a few quick tips you can run with. Here you go!
Let him go into his cave when he needs to. A man needs time alone, just as you do. He’ll come out, don’t worry, and he’ll love you even more for backing off and letting him be. The same goes for you—if you need space or time, don’t be afraid to tell him. He needs to know when you feel overwhelmed and want to be by yourself.
- If he’s grumpy, don’t fall into the grouchy trap too. Let him know you’re there when he wants to talk. Then go and do your thing. He’ll find you when he’s ready.
- Don’t walk on eggshells. If something is bothering you, let him know. Men hate it when women cry, so don’t overdo it, but if something truly upsets you enough to bring tears, it’s OK to be authentic. Just don’t do it every day.
- Think before you speak whenever possible. You can’t take words back once they’re out of your mouth, but you can prevent a foot-in-mouth problem by waiting a few seconds before saying something you’ll regret.
- Fight fairly. Don’t bring up old stuff from 5 years ago. In fact, don’t bring up anything older than a few months. You’re not the same people you were then, and no one likes paying for the same mistake more than once.
- Don’t involve anyone else in your relationship issues. It’s none of their business, and you don’t need the aggravation or the distraction.
- Get away. Go out of town for a weekend and make a pledge to just have fun and enjoy each other. You may see him and your relationship with new eyes.
- Remember when you first started dating. How did you feel, and what did you do? How did you regard each other? Let yourself feel that way again for a while, and think about why you fell in love with him. What can you do to recreate that for the two of you?
Before you say, “Why do I have to be the one to change?” let me say, “Because you see what needs to be fixed and maybe he doesn’t yet.” In reality, the men pace the relationship before it becomes official, and then the women take over as the leaders of the relationship—the emotional leaders.
Unlocking the male mind is simple and you have so much influence over men through your emotions that you really do lead things. So you are the one driving the car here, and you can influence him to do his part with you to change the relationship. Take your place as the leader, don’t push him or yourself, and work things out. It might take time, but it’s well worth it.