As a beauty expert and stylist, I’ve seen it over and over again: a woman projects externally what she feels internally. If you want to achieve a genuine transformation, one that changes your appearance and impacts your relationships, you need a positive mind-set. I’m going to help you eliminate the negatives and accentuate the positives . . . okay? Beauty and growth always come from unconditional love and support. Negativity blocks lasting change and tears down beauty. When you’re loved, you feel beautiful. When you’re supported, you grow.
Many years ago, when I was in the downward spiral of my depression, a friend suggested that I try attending his church. I told him that while I appreciated the suggestion, I wasn’t a very religious person. I considered myself more “spiritual.” He assured me that his church was different and that the person giving the sermons was less of a preacher and more of an inspirational speaker.
Since I had nothing to lose and everything to gain, when the following Sunday rolled around, I picked up my mom and we went to my friend’s church. I listened to the speaker and hung on her every word, tears flowing down my face the entire time. Although there were some 500 people there, I felt as if she was speaking directly to me. Most of all, I felt like I was home. I started attending regularly, and the sermons would lift me up and carry me through the week. Since I was becoming a familiar face there, I also stepped into a beautiful circle of new friends. The church became a constant source of unconditional love and support.
You don’t have to go to a church to experience this, though. Go online or visit your local community center and look for clubs or organizations that are of interest to you to find for ongoing support, love, and encouragement.
Love is all around you and to remind yourself of that, make a gratitude list. Identifying the beauty surrounding you can be a revelation. It can change the way you feel about your current challenges as well as how you view any future hardships or mishaps that come your way.
So grab your journal, and play along….
1. Identifying the Beautiful People Around You
Whom can you turn to for encouragement? Who will support you while you make the changes needed in order to uncover your true essence? Write down a list of these individuals.
2. Uncovering Your Beautiful Qualities
If you didn’t sleep through middle-school math, you may remember that the word unique means that only one object exists with certain properties. You are indeed unique because there is only one of you. No one else on Earth has your exact combination of beauty, passion, and drive.
I want you to list 20 things that are uniquely beautiful about you. Typically, most people can come up with 20 things wrong with themselves, but I don’t want those and neither do you! I want you to note 20 things that are great about you.
They are there; you just have to be willing to look. For example, you might write that you’re creative, kind, outspoken, smart, and funny. Your list should also include physical qualities that make you stand out in a crowd, such as your sparkling eyes, graceful arms, or cute feet.
Don’t stop until you reach 20, and should you miraculously blow past that number, by all means, keep going. If you find yourself struggling, though, you could ask your beautiful people for help. Or you could say a prayer and write down what comes to your mind. Don’t be shy. I want you to truly see what is beautiful about you—and uniquely yours. Once you’re able to acknowledge your beautiful traits, seeing them every time you look in the mirror will become easier and easier.
Now look over your list. I’m guessing that the majority of items aren’t physical attributes. You acknowledged that there is more to your beauty than just appearance. Of course, this is something we’ve all heard time and time again, but now you have your proof. Your beauty comes from within.
Next, copy each of these qualities on an index card and put them where you’ll spot them frequently, such as your bathroom mirror, car, refrigerator, or tucked inside your purse. By doing so, you’ll have multiple opportunities to affirm the things that make you uniquely beautiful. If you have children, talk to them about what you’re doing. It’s an incredibly powerful tool to help shape their self-esteem, because they model their behavior based on how you carry yourself. So when you project a healthy, positive self-image, you’re teaching your kids (and for that matter, everyone else you come in contact with) to do the same for themselves.
Ready for some amazing news?
Those wonderful inner qualities never get old! In fact, they only get better and even more beautiful as you age. Your unique traits have been growing, deepening, and strengthening their roots every day of your life. In a world where so much value is put on maintaining a youthful appearance, your list will be a constant reminder for you to honor and celebrate your authentic beauty.
Everyone you have ever loved . . . every laugh, tear, and sigh you’ve shared with someone . . . every moment of your precious life . . . is wrapped up in you. All these stories of living and loving create the allure of a mature face. So remember that your beautiful qualities will only increase as you get older!