Just a vain attempt
To be a good girl or boy?
Even when I’m being a bad boy
I’m still being a good boy.
Still trying to be good at being bad.
I try to do everything perfectly.
I try to be everything for everyone
And all that I am left with is
Resentment, anger, insecurity,
Confusion and shame.
None of the honour or affirmation
I claim or do not claim
Makes any difference.
The hole never goes away.
We are led by individuals, saints and ministers, kings and tyrants.
No one ever talks about their teams, the people who made it happen.
Somehow this makes me believe
I must do everything alone.
This is my pattern.
This is the pattern I see playing out
All around me.
My body has a story of its own to tell.