Setting the scene: Over coffee, two women are discussing their interest in sharing erotic material with their husbands. Another woman at the next table is shocked at the context of the conversation given one of the women’s role as a spiritual adviser within the community.
“Her behavior surprises me. She’s supposed to be so spiritual.”
This is an interesting and often common belief – to be spiritual, Christian or generally religious, you are expected to be disconnected from the human sexual experience that may be seen as unclean or unholy.
Spirituality does not mean to release yourself from your desires. It means that there is a healthy way of going about it. If you have a desire it doesn’t mean that you are any less spiritual and you should not feel the need to make your life devoid of joy and pleasure.
Being spiritual does not mean you should divert yourself from your human experience. You are a spiritual being having a human experience, not a human trying to be spiritual and denying your human experience. Eroticism, self-pleasuring, and self-care are very, very personal. It’s something that each individual has to decide how they want to express it.
Unless you are a member of a particular dogma, spirituality doesn’t mean self-sacrifice. For instance in Christianity nuns and priest practice celibacy as a means to commit their entire beings to Jesus. But different religions have their individual beliefs that are not intended to be cast on all of their followers.
But don’t mistake religion for spirituality. Sex can be seen as divine co-creation and bringing two lives together as one. It is the meeting of body and soul with another’s body and soul. When you think about it, the universe as we know it is a result of sexual energy—all life-form’s continued existence is a result of the connection of the flesh. There are also Eastern philosophies that believe sex can be used as a means to reach the divine. And what can be said about Kama Sutra? It’s not merely about sexual positions it is about connection to the sexual energy and intimacy of your partner.
Remember that in honoring your spirituality you engage in practices of self-care and generosity towards others. You are in service to others as a means of connection to the Divine. This also applies to your intimate relationships. By engaging in pleasure and joy with your partner and being generous with your partner, you are connected to your spiritual being, not just your human experience.