Today’s fast feng shui of the day has to do with trusting yourself more than you trust the voices of authority or the rules of how things should be. If something feels truly wrong it is wrong. This applies to your home, to the way your life is organized, to your diet, to your thoughts… to your whole world. If it feels wrong, it is wrong.
I love the cobalt blue bookshelves above. If I recommended them to a client and they re-created the look solely because I said to do it, even though they hated that blue, it would be a disaster. No one would be happy.
Because I can’t quite read minds (!) but I can feel out spaces and see what’s happening in lives based on what I see and feel, I can pull tons of ideas out for a client to make the shifts they want to make. Sometimes I say something like… “What about your bed here?” and I see things shrink or go silent. It feels wrong to the client. We talk. “You don’t have to do this, you know, ” I say. ”But, I will if you say it is right.” Nope. That’s the road to wrong choices. Then we talk. We adjust. I leave lots of room for people to voice what is happening and how ideas land on them so that we design their ideal space, not mine … and not a space based on a bunch of rules from books.
Your space is your space. Your comfort level is your comfort level. You want what you want, and no one should make you feel wrong for wanting what you want. If you start giving in to things that feel wrong, you move away from your own truth. This is why I steer clear of superstitious nonsense that the traditional practices of feng shui are full of- they take away your power and become a reality superimposed upon your own. If you were going to have bed luck because of where they door is in your house, well, you might as well give up on life. Its the type of thinking that crushes your dreams, makes you feel small and leaves you in a space of wishing and hoping rather than living.
The more you accept what feels wrong, the more the happiness in your life becomes a fantasy.
When I make recommendations to people about their homes, and even suggestions for habits or other ideas they might find valuable, I do it under the very important premise that they are recommendations. I am really clear that if something feels wrong- not uncomfortably new or revolutionary in a way that is a bit of a leap- it is wrong for them. Or it may be wrong for now.
Do not talk yourself into thinking it is right or it is OK if it is wrong. I’ve been there. The minute I hear myself excusing things that really feel wrong I know I am on the precipice of a free-fall into a bad situation.
My suggestion based on years of giving up my own sense of what felt right to “authorities” is to not push yourself to do things that are contrary to your nature because you think in some way they will benefit you in the end. There’s a difference between the good type of uncomfortable ( healthy compromise, risk-taking, pushing your own limits, vulnerability) and the bad type of uncomfortable (hurt feelings, disconnection from your life, feeling small or clinging to wishes divorced from reality). You know the difference. If you trust those feelings, you can take the risks and push the boundaries without waking up in feeling like you are not living your own life.
Experimentation is freeing. Try things. Make shifts . Trust yourself. Go slow. Adjust. And keep going!