You know the things that you hide so that I will like you, approve of you or think you are spiritual – let’s just put them on the table. I will show you mine if you will show me yours…
I am triggered by inauthenticity, entitlement and lack of integrity. I am annoyed when people whine. I am sometimes impatient with my friends and even my students when they sell themselves short. I fiercely believe all is possible in this life. I see the light in people often before they do. I have learned to let people have their journey though it is not always easy.
I want to whack racists, bigots and chauvinists over the head. I roll my eyes at the “new agers” who talk about balancing their second chakra and then gossip about the pretty girl in the red dress. I expect kindness but not perfection. I don’t think fuck is a bad word. I think pretending to be happy when you aren’t IS a fucking bad thing.
I cry at phone commercials and stories about kindness especially toward animals. I am passionate about love, words and wildness. I am fiercely loyal and therefore, at times demanding that you be true to yourself and to me. I see beauty everywhere though it took me nearly 39 years to see it in myself.
I believe in God, good wine and slow, hard kissing. I have not ever had my heart broken but three different men threatened suicide when I left them. I loved my husband even when he was someone else’s husband and I am not ashamed of this. I believe love is redemptive and at times very challenging. I know that sexuality is a way to experience God and I am not ashamed of that either.
I don’t think spirituality is about being nice or polite but about being real. When you actually have something you really need to say I want you to feel safe in expressing it to me but I do expect you to say it in a way my heart can hear you. I forgive easily.
I have unraveled rage, hurt and defensiveness like prayer flags flapping in the wind but my prayers are different now.
I am a good friend. I am a happy person. I can love all of you. There is nothing to hide. Put your guns on the table and I will pour you a glass of wine.