The Power of Love and the Human Spirit – Doris’ Story
Let me tell you the amazing story of my friend Jen’s Mum. Firstly her name is Doris; she is 88 years old and a widow. She has 3 sons and 1 daughter, Jen. She also has a twin sister (Aunty May) still alive.
In August 2006 Doris was diagnosed with bone cancer and the hospital said she had only a week or two to live. She had not been well for some time but this still came as a shock to the family.
My friend Jen, being the only daughter, seemed to be the person who took on all the responsibility. She was obviously devastated that her mother was dying but like most women just got on a dealt with stuff. The doctors told her to get the family together if they wanted to say goodbye.
So she contact Aunty May and told her the bad news and arranged to go and fetch her so she could come and see her sister and say goodbye for the last time. The rest of the family came, all the brothers and daughters in law and grandchildren gathered round. Doris was drifting in and out of consciousness with the morphine that was controlling her pain. It was a very sad time. At one point Doris came back into consciousness and looked Jen in the eye and said “you all think I’m dying don’t you”, and with tears in her eyes Jen gently replied “yes mum”.
“Well not here” Doris said. “I want to go home”. “I shall die in my own bed when I’m ready”.
The Doctors were not happy about this but the family were insistent. If Doris wanted to die at home then nothing was going to stop them making this possible. Jen contacted that wonderful group of people Macmillan Nursing and also her friends. Jen is a healer and so are a lot of her friends. She contacted me and I immediately put Doris on my distant healing list and started sending distance healing. I also offered to go and see Doris on a regular basis but Jen had another friend Jenny, just to be confusing. Jenny was not only a Reiki Master but was also a qualified carer and she agreed to be part of Doris’s caring team that Jen was putting together.
Jen arranged a complete schedule of carers, nurses, visitors etc, so that someone would be with Doris at all times. All the family were taking it in turns going to see Doris, getting breakfast, lunch and dinner. The nurses were going to give Doris her medication and to look after her and Jenny was going to become her general carer and give her healing every day.
Let me make one thing clear. Healing energy is NOT a cure. It is not intended to be a cure. A healer connects directly to God’s love and channels the energy of unconditional love directly to the client. In this case Doris. Doris’s soul then uses the energy for whatever purpose it chooses. In this instance we assumed it would be used to help her let go and pass over in a peaceful way.
Doris was home and feeling much happier and was well cared for by her team of carers. One of whom is also a Reiki Master. Doris had never really ever let anyone care for her before. She had always been the one caring for everyone else. She did not find it easy but one week became two. Then two weeks became three, then three weeks became four and before you know Doris is feeling much better. A month has gone by and she says not only does she have no intention of dying but also she wants to get up. This of course is impossible. She is much too weak. The nurses say she would be unsteady on her feet with all the medication she is taking. Doris responds with she doesn’t want the medication. This of course if ridiculous because as anyone who has ever had anything to do with bone cancer will tell you it is one of the most painful forms of cancer you can get and needs constant management. I know my grandmother died of it.
Jen and the nurses explained to Doris that she really needed to take her medication and every day they gave it to her, even though she said she did not want it. After all we always know best don’t we. But with all the love, care and healing she was getting she was well enough to get up and sit in a chair rather than being in bed all day. The doctors and nurses were amazed that she was still alive let alone getting stronger.
Now Doris was feeling better she was actually allowed to be alone some of the day, in between visits. One day when Jen went round she saw a teacup on the draining board. Assuming that someone had not washed up after himself or herself she had a bit of a moan. Doris said no it was not the nurse it was hers. She had made a cup of tea for herself. Jen thought her mum was hallucinating. After all she had not been out of bed unassisted for about six weeks.
Jen is fussing around her mother and trying to make her more comfortable. Jen is so grateful for this extra time with her mum. They are talking now about so many things that they had never talked about before. She is getting to understand her mum and her life so much more. Doris talks about the past a lot. Her mum is sitting in her favourite armchair and as Jen tucks a blanket round her legs to keep her warm, because it is getting colder now, and as her hand goes does the side of the chair she feels something, small, round, like sweets. She pulls them out and there in her hand is some of Doris’s medication. Her morphine tablets that are supposed to controlling her chronic pain. Doris looks sheepish. “I told you I did not want them,” she said. Jen had to smile. Her mum was behaving like a naughty two year old. Strange how life is reversed. Once upon a time her mum looked after her when she was a naughty two year old. Now the roles are reversed.
However if Doris did not want the tablets and if she was not in much pain then perhaps they should not be forced on her. Jen and her mum agreed that as long as Doris asked for the painkillers when she needed them they would not be forced on her any more. The nurses were not too happy but then they knew it would not be long before Doris was asking fort them. They were not aware of the power of the healing Jenny was giving her every day and that I was sending by distance twice a day. Between us Doris was getting 3 hours healing a day.
The weeks went by and Doris did not ask for her painkillers very often. Also as Jen was coming and going from her mum’s house, elderly people at the bus stop outside were asking how “Mrs Buckley” was. These people were total strangers. Who were they and how did they know her mum. It transpired that over the years whenever it rained Doris would invite the people at the bus stop in for a cup of tea while they waited for the bus. All these people had been coming in and out of the house for years unbeknown to any of the family. More naughty secrets coming out.
One day Doris told Jen that she had seen her husband (Jen’s father) in the conservatory but that she had refused to look at him. She just told him she was not going anywhere just yet. She was going to enjoy another Christmas first. By now Christmas was coming and it was 4 months since her diagnosis.
Jen went to fetch Aunty May again and the family spent a very happy and sad Christmas together. Happy because it was so unexpected but sad because they all knew it would be the last that Doris would see. (The paradox of life that is always there).
The New Year came and so did the cold weather and no one really thought Doris would be with them much longer. But she continued to get stronger. She had her bad days when she asked for her morphine but on the whole she got better and better. On her good days she would get herself up and dressed and make her own tea. She did not want everyone doing everything for her.
As an aside – In January Jenny (her carer) went to a clairvoyant for her annual reading. As part of the reading this person, a healer himself, said she was working with an old lady and that she really should stop giving her healing because she was supposed to have passed over last year”. This worried Jenny. Surely she was not doing anything wrong. She spoke to Jen who came to me. As I said earlier as a healer we channel the energy and the soul does with it what the soul wants to. It is not up to us. If Doris wanted to use the energy to help her pass over she would when she was ready and if she wanted to use it to enjoy a few more weeks and get closer to her family then she could. It was not up to us to interfere. I certainly was not going to stop sending the distance healing I was sending. So Jenny continued to give Doris healing every day and I continued to send distance healing twice a day.
As the weather got warmer Doris sat in the conservatory where she could see the garden. Jen learned so much and grew so close to her mum during this time, but that will be another story.
One day Doris said she wanted to go out. She wanted to go to Southend for a fish & chips lunch. It had been a favourite place for her and her husband when courting, and when the children were young. But not long after this the weather turned sour again and Doris seemed to become weaker. She was starting to have more bad days than good. The family wanted to do as she asked, especially as they felt time was getting short again, but felt that Southend was too long a trip. They decided that Jen’s brother should take her for a drive around Tottenham where she grew up and where she met her husband and where the family originated.
So they went out for the day. Wherever they went, it did not matter where, she recognised everything especially all the pubs. “That was where I had my 21st birthday,” she would say. “That one was where we had out engagement party”. “That one was where your Dad went with the lads after you were born”. And so it went on as she went down memory lane with her family.
Now it is 16 months on from that first diagnosis and Doris and the family are looking forward to their second unexpected Christmas together. Jen is fetching Aunty May again and the two old ladies will be sharing a bed. Two commodes, one on each side. of the bed. Doris’s carer is quite happy to get two old ladies up and dressed on Christmas morning so they can go out for the day together and spend yet another family Christmas. But this year no one is assuming it is the last. For with the power of Love, Healing and the indemonstrable human spirit Doris will live as long as she chooses.