One of my many passions is communicating with the world about the wonders of relationship. Much of my work over the past dozen years or so has been in that realm. I am a therapist and minister who counsels couples and marries them. For many years, I was a greeting card text writer who wrote mushy love cards to rev up other people’s relationships. I would smile as I imagined the look on folks’ faces when they would choose the card, pen their own prose in it and then seal it with a kiss before handing it to their loved one. Taking it further, I pretended to be a proverbial ‘fly on the wall’ as the card was opened. I politely stepped away at that point, giving them their privacy and hoping for a happy ending(:
Tonight I had the bliss of interviewing a couple that I have gotten to know over the past year via the wonders of Facebook and cosmically coincidentally, it is where they met as well more than two years ago. Dr. Sheri Meyers and Jonathan Aslay work with the most sensitive aspects of human interaction and assist folks in weathering the winds of change and broaching the challenging subjects such as anger, jealousy, infidelity, sex and money. One of the things I love about them is their unabashed flirtation with each other via social media. It is contagious and in many ways, felt like simultaneously, they were flirting with those who read their posts, beckoning them to come play in their yard too. Glad I accepted the invitation. A week or so leading up to our interview, they were posting a whole bunch of promos for ‘the event’. By the time we got on the call, I joked with them that it had felt like “radio foreplay”.
The conversation seemed like a window into their world as they openly shared their glories and gaffes; both in a way that allowed listeners to relate to this quite REAL, albeit quite public, couple.
America’s leading love and intimacy expert, Dr. Sheri Meyers, Author of “Chatting or Cheating: How to Detect Infidelity, Rebuild Love, and Affair-Proof Your Relationship” is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in Los Angeles, CA. She is among the nation’s most frequently quoted and interviewed relationship and infidelity specialists regularly writing for the Huffington Post and appearing on every major network including NBC,ABC,CBS,CNN and FOX.
Jonathon Aslay is a Dating & Relationship Coach and author of several books including: “The Relationships Men Commit To and Why.” Jonathon has appeared on ABC, NBC and CBS Radio and has been quoted on EHarmony, YourTango, Divorced Parents Magazine and was voted one of the top ten Midlife Dating Coaches by Dating Advice Magazine.
Both Sheri and Jonathon have helped thousands of people understand the dynamics of love and relationships through coaching, counseling and workshops they have created. In their own love story both have learned the power of healing, forgiveness and opening their heart to true love!
The interview was sprinkled with powerful take-aways such as :When we’re fighting, “We’re not feeling loved, accepted or known.” They discovered early on that at the center of their solid relationship is friendship. They don’t just love each other; they also LIKE each other, which sometimes takes more concentrated work. “Conversation not confrontation.” “It’s not a me problem, but a we problem. Relationship is a partnership.” “Our motto is, I’ve got your back.”
Since they spend so much time in each other’s presence during their work and play, they also recognize that it is essential to have ‘healthy ‘we time and me time’ to nourish the individuals that they are as well as the third entity that is their thriving relationship. It reminds me of the Kahlil Gibran quote from his poem called On Marriage: “May the winds of the heavens dance between you.”
Being a chocolate lover (it is my drug of choice), I particularly liked their Oreo cookie analogy with regard to approaching touchy subjects. You start with loving statements and intention which is the chocolate and then fill in with the content of what you want to discuss and then seal it on the other side with more chocolate=love. I didn’t ask, but I wonder about the folks who when eating an Oreo, go for the middle first and save the cookie for last. Is there a parallel there? This method seems to hold them in good stead even in the midst of sometimes crunchy and potentially crumbly moments.
Listen to the interview now available in archive form, for more enticing nibbles that can enhance YOUR relationships. www.vividlife.me and read these two articles that I had written earlier in the year about this dynamic duo.
http://blog.beliefnet.com/blissblog/2012/05/chatting-or-cheating.html A review of Sheri’s book called Chatting or Cheating