So you’ve found your soulmate. There’s something extraordinary about the way you feel together. It’s a sense of having “come home” to this person who seems absolutely right for you.
It is an amazing gift to attract your soulmate and to create a love relationship or marriage together. The depth of your connection and passion can be beyond belief– certainly different than anything you’ve experienced before.
But what happens when your soulmate has an affair?!
In any relationship, deciding what to do after discovering the your partner cheated is difficult. You love this person and don’t want to lose him or her. You also don’t want to be lied to, betrayed and hurt again.
Whether you choose to stay in or leave the relationship, it can be a gut-wrenching decision. When you’re in a soulmate relationship, the decision becomes even more intense.
This is your soulmate, after all!
Fears that you’ll never experience this kind of amazing and deep love again may cause you to believe that you have no choice but to give him or her a second chance. You two are supposed to be together, right?!
This is what happened with Jennifer…
Jennifer doesn’t know if it was smart to give her boyfriend Sam a second chance after she found out he was having an affair with his ex-girlfriend. Her friends and family think she’s making a big mistake.
She shares their worries, but they don’t understand that Jennifer and Sam are soulmates. They knew it as soon as they met and have spent the last two years happily in love…until Sam re-connected with his ex and then slept with her one weekend when Jennifer was out of town.
As soon as Jennifer walked in the door, Sam confessed to his affair. He told her about the late night texts he and his ex exchanged for months and he told her about how they met for drinks and ended up having sex.
Sam asked Jennifer for forgiveness and promised to do anything to prove to her that he will never cheat again. Jennifer is still in shock that this happened at all. She hasn’t yet decided what to do.
Look at the facts.
For just a moment, set aside your beliefs about soulmates and the soulmate relationship you’re in right now. For just a moment, sort through the many thoughts and feelings that are filling your mind and look for the facts. Get to the reliable information that you know.
Write down what you know about what your partner did. You don’t have to be detailed or graphic. Next, write down the observable information you have about where things stand right now. What has your partner said or done since you discovered the affair? What have you said or done? What promises has your partner made (be specific here) and have these promises been kept?
Getting to the facts can bring clarity to an otherwise confusing and complicated situation.
Consider whether or not you’re seeing follow through on promises and genuine action to end the affair (if that hasn’t already happened) and make amends. Also be sure to consider what your heart tells you to do. When you listen to your heart and your intuition, make sure what you are “hearing” from within is not coming from “shoulds,” worries or fears but is rooted in a certainty about what’s best for you.
Make peace with your decision.
Whether or not you give your partner a second chance, do whatever you can to make peace with your decision. Know that if you end your relationship, this doesn’t mean you’ve lost your only chance at love.
There are different theories on soulmates. One says that we all have more than one soulmate. This means, when you are ready and open, you could later attract a different soulmate relationship which could be amazing in its own way.
If you do decide to give your soulmate a second chance, be smart and stay aware. Create conscious agreements with your partner to rebuild trust and address the habits that may have been taking you apart. Remember that being with your soulmate doesn’t mean you don’t have to actively work to keep your relationship healthy and connected.
1 comment
Soulmates? What exactly does that mean? If you believe it includes the other person being the one and only right person for you in the entire world, then you are delusional.