We’ve all said something like this, “When I lose weight, find the right guy, or get a better job”…then I’ll be happy. For so many of us there is a little voice inside that makes us think having what someone else has, or what we don’t have, will make our lives better.
We look at the people around us; friends, colleagues, even celebrities, and think that if we could just have a perfect partner like they do, perfect kids, maybe even perfect bodies, we could finally be happy. But what is “perfect,” and are the people who have it happy? Will we be if we attain it? The answer is more than likely no, so what should we do?
Comparing ourselves to others is totally natural and it is also normal to want to be better or improve ourselves. But chasing perfection, especially someone else’s, definitely won’t give you a fair chance at feeling good about being you. Not to mention that perfection is unattainable and striving for it will only leave you disappointed, so stop.
Long before I became a Life Coach I was a Celebrity Makeup Artist and could always tell just by looking at someone what is going on in their life. I could tell a wide variety of things from their skin, eyes, smile, the way they stood, spoke, and the way they took care of themselves.
It’s simple, if you don’t feel good about yourself and your life, it manifests in your image and you have to admit, you are all fully aware of it when you look in the mirror. Unfortunately the growing trend is people trying to cover up what is going on inside by getting work done on the outside. Our “quick-fix society is turning to Botox, plastic surgery and fad diets rather than doing the inner emotional work that could create lasting “beauty” in our lives. For example, over the last few years, I have been working with a plastic surgeon who sends me clients that feel that once they got “work” done they would finally find the level of perfect happiness they were searching for. Thankfully, by coaching patients towards a holistic transformation instead of yet another let down from searching outside of themselves, they found the perfection they were searching for…internally. As a result, they lost weight and began to look better because they were finding their bliss within.
Rather than dealing with symptoms let’s go a little deeper and try to figure out what is creating the feelings of inadequacy that are driving us. All of us want to look good, feel good, have a great life- I am in total agreement with looking good on the outside, but to achieve that I recommend a different approach.
1. Find gratitude for what you have- What if your life abruptly changed tomorrow and you lost everything? How badly would you want to have your life back the way it is today? Start a gratitude journal. Write down what you are grateful for and take time to make note of the beauty in your life each day.
2. Start being happy today- If you are constantly thinking about tomorrow you never have a chance to enjoy today. Where can you create your happy moments for now? Take time to smell the roses!
3. Make sure your life is your own- Are your decisions and goals your own? When we live the way we think we should instead of the way we could we grow resentful. What could you do and where in life could you live more authentically?
4. Stop comparing yourself- What if you were the trendsetter of your own life? Would you feel less pressure? Worry? Doubt? It’s okay to hold yourself to a higher standard as long as it’s yours.
The bottom line is that it is okay to strive and grow and to want more as long as you enjoy the ride. Check in with your goals to make sure they are yours and remain grateful every step of the way. When you do, an authentic power and beauty will be yours to radiate!