When the weather report comes on TV, a relative of mine usually says: ‘What’s the point of this? It’s either going to rain or it’s not’. Of course, the point is that we are better prepared for journeys, that we are dressed appropriately for the weather, and that we make plans accordingly.
This relates to a central theme that pops up time and time again in my intuitive coaching work – control. A session will feature two elements – what we can’t control (the rain), and what we can (the umbrella).
One of the most common misconceptions about intuitive work is that it’s about predicting an immovable fate. Understandably, this means that some people will consult an intuitive for a ‘weather report’. I have spoken to clients who wanted me to give a lot of detail about something which could not really be controlled. This was often to do with the thoughts or actions of someone else in their life, or how long an external situation was going to take. Although it is possible to see these things intuitively, it is also important not to get wrapped up in what cannot be controlled.
On the other hand, sometimes it suits us to believe we have no control, as we might not be ready to take full responsibility for our own experience. But by enquiring about a supposedly fixed fate, we are not gaining more control, we are actually giving our power away.
I enjoy working from a Law of Attraction perspective, because it can encourage self-awareness, and a sense of authorship in one’s own life. However, we cannot have complete control over when and how our cosmic orders arrive. Therefore, practising detachment is essential.
After the TV weather report, we might ask ourselves: What should I wear on Tuesday, now that I know it’s going to snow? In life, if we ever feel stuck and obsessed with the external, some useful questions might be:
*What can be influenced here?
*If I am constrained in some way by my outer world, how can I change my inner world?
*What is going well for me RIGHT NOW?
*How can I become more self aware, so that I make better choices and create more effective goals?
*How can I be more resilient and adaptable?
That last question is crucial, because of course we cannot predict or control everything in our lives. As well as helping people who felt they had no control, I have also worked with those who are bound by the need to control. Some people are anxious about the future and feel that having a detailed ‘weather report’ is going to soothe their anxiety. But that only works if I talk about a future which they will interpret as 100% positive. I cannot guarantee that, because we all react differently to the outer events in our lives. Therefore, empowerment lies in pay attention to our inner experience.
Resilience is important, as we live in an unpredictable and ever-changing universe. Catastrophic weather occurrences like Hurricane Sandy are a reminder of that. Even if we are not directly involved, it makes us feel profoundly uncomfortable as there is no logic, pattern or explanation. Some people attribute these random disasters to sin, or karma, or the will of a punitive God. In my view, that is not spiritual wisdom, it is a knee-jerk reaction which is deeply rooted in fear, and the need to control.
Because life is unpredictable, it is important that we find our ‘centre-point’ – thoughts, beliefs, habits and rituals which strengthen and support us. The measuring of time is one way that humankind has tried to do that. – 24 hour days, 7 day weeks, 365 days in a year. Although we cannot have control over the weather and seasons, many people try to attune with cycles of nature. Modern Pagans have eight Sabbats which follow the seasonal cycle of the year.
It is important to attune with the aspects of our lives which are ever-changing, including the birth and death of new situations and relationships, and the ageing process. Attunement is not the same as control. In this world, it is easy to feel pressured to create the ‘perfect’ experience. The perfect schedule. The perfect wedding. The perfect Christmas. However, we need to allow some room for authenticity and the unexpected. If we try to exert too much control in life, we become anxious and imbalanced. Rather than being in control, we lose our power. Ask yourself about this thing that you are trying to avoid or prevent……..is it REALLY that bad?
Although consulting an Intuitive can prepare you for what comes next, there is no such thing as being 100% ‘safe’. We need vulnerability to have a more enriching experience of life. And sometimes the unexpected elements of life are the most magical.