The term “taking your power back” has become very popular in self help literature, lots of people talk about taking their power back from a person or a situation, usually one that makes them feel like they aren’t in control or where they are too attached. Waiting for a date to call you back, a collegue who hurts your feelings or whatever.
I am not a fan of trying to take your power back for two reasons, the first is because I don’t think that viewing things as a power game is conducive to being happy and that’s essentially what all this stuff is about, living a happier life-What happened in the past was just a reflection of where you were then and because by trying to take something back, you are by definition saying that you have lost it when the truth of the matter is that its impossible to give your power away because you are always choosing.
To me, personal power is our ability to choose, at any given moment the way we perceive a situation and the way we feel about ourselves. If you belief that you are powerless and that how the other person acts is what determines your level of “Im OK”, then that is what will be and if you choose to know that you create your experience, not anyone else then that is what will be true for you.
If we let the way we feel about ourselves or a situation be determined by someone else’s behavior or words then on the surface it looks like we have lost our power but in reality, we still made the choice to perceive the situation that way.
Your boss being in a bad mood and being snappy isn’t taking your power away from you, neither is your partner not behaving the way you would like them to, a relationship ending or a client being difficult.
Own the situation and realize that how other people act has very little to do with you and is more a reflection of what is going on for them at that time than an attack on you. I am not being dismissive of peoples feelings when I say this, I am actually doing quite the opposite. Its an assertion that we have far more control over our happiness than we give ourselves credit for.
No person, place or situation can actually “take” your power away from you when you realize that you are always choosing.
It doesn’t have to be a long, drawn out process, just begin choose differently.
Remember: Your power is you ability to choose, and you can always choose differently.
Exercise: Take a few moments Think of a situation or person that your perceive as taking your power away, now ask yourself how can I choose better feeling beliefs about this? Again, a belief is just a repeated thought.
About Ryan James Lock:
Ryan James Lock is a brand consultant, writer and entrepreneur based in Ibiza. He is the founder of The Ryan James Consultancy, a brand strategy and personal coaching business and the curator of Mung Beans and Champagne-an insiders guide to urban wellness. Ryan is about to launch his online coaching program “Be Your Own Publicist” available from www.theryanjamesconsultancy.com To see more of Ryan’s work like him on Facebook – The Ryan James Consultancy and Mung Beans and Champagne Follow him on Twitter @RyanJamesLock
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