There is a song I used to hear on the radio in my childhood, which I didn’t understand but which gave a tantalizing indication of what was waiting for me to discover:
“Well let me tell you bout the birds and the bees
And the flowers and the trees
And the stars up above
And a thing called Love”
I used to wonder, what do the birds and the bees have to do with human love? And why did the adults exchange knowing secretive glances when I enquired about it?
When I do Tantra groups, I sometimes ask participants how they found out about the facts of life, about masturbation and to describe their first experience of sex. The answers people give are a really sad commentary on how our society as a whole addresses this vital subject. For the most part, people have heard about sex in the schoolyard from a friend. Sneaking porno magazines or films from some adult usually follows this first revelation. The next scenario, an inevitable outcome of the general lack of education on the subject, is to try sex out, usually while under the influence of some mind-altering substance such as alcohol or drugs.
When the initiation into sexuality is of a low quality, it is typical that this first experience has strong repercussions on one’s sexual life afterwards. Some people pick themselves up and learn how to enjoy sex and even discover ecstasy through it, but many carry secret suffering and confusion, as well as the natural longing for a deep union which brings fulfilment to body and soul.
Deep down, I believe we all know intuitively that sexuality has the potential to offer us transcendental states of rapture. If I ask people in groups to describe to me their experience while in orgasm, they use terms such as: Timeless bliss, ecstasy, no-mind, oneness, melting, love, and surrender. If you read these words without knowing I was speaking of sexual orgasm, you would probably think these were describing a very spiritual state.
For those who are spiritual seekers, it is important to understand that the experience of physical orgasm is the jumping board into the state of cosmic orgasm. If you are well versed in the ecstasy of the senses, and know your orgasmic potential from many angles, then it will be natural and easy to let go into the great orgasm of the soul. If you have never learned the language of orgasm, how can you hope to know God? Tantra is an intelligent lifestyle, which offers us the possibility of exploring sexuality as a portal into spiritual awakening.
We need to embrace sexuality, love and relating as the great teachers they are, learning the language of orgasm as it is reflected in our body, heart and soul. In my vision of a balanced society, these subjects will become a vital part of our educational curriculum, leading to a worldview based on joy and fulfilment on all levels.
TANTRA: SENSUAL FULFILLMENT