Do you ever find you are just keeping quiet to keep the peace?
I try to practice a high level of self-responsibility and sovereignty. I try to be present to my emotions and thoughts so that I am not reacting but responding. I don’t want to have temper tantrums or take everything personally. I want the freedom to decide how I will respond and feel regardless of what comes my way. I always intend to practice a high level of ahimsa (love for all) and santosha (contentment) regardless. I want to feel at peace even when faced with war. As the Native saying goes, I put on my moccasins rather than trying to cover the whole world in leather.
For example recently I was at a wellness centre for a massage appointment and the receptionist was abrupt, was clearly annoyed with questions and kept sighing loudly whenever someone walked in. I found it challenging to relax and told her I was going to wait in another area. She told me no that I was to sit exactly where I was so she would not have to come and find me. I felt annoyed and could feel a sense of anger rising up. I noticed this emotion and took a few deep breaths while I brought my awareness to it. I decided to sit where I was and to be present to my discomfort as an opportunity to find peace anyway. I focused on what a great massage I was going to have (once I got out of the high stress waiting room). I did not want to react so I responded by finding my own place of centre and peace amidst the friction of that situation.
I think this made sense but there are times when we need to speak to our discomfort.
I had a profound aha this last week that yes there are times when I do not speak my needs or feelings and I am only sacrificing myself. Maybe I fear rejection or abandonment and truly sometimes it is just not worth it as with this receptionist but I don’t want to run from my authenticity by masking my emotions with a pretend peace.
The Indian epic and yoga bible, The Bhagavad Gita which is set on a battled-field, the main character, warrior Arjuna says he would rather walk away from the kingdom than fight for his right to it. Arjuna is a warrior – this is literally his job AND the kingdom was stolen from his family which has put not only the kingdom into great chaos but also the greater flow of life. His purpose clearly is to fight this battle. Krishna who represents Arjuna’s higher nature or Divine Self counsels him that it is his duty to come forward and stay in a place of purpose AND to do so with sattva (clarity and peace). Krishna tells Arjuna that he is just running away and running is dishonorable and unworthy as well as grievous to our selves and our Divinity.
Does the battle of The Bhagavag Gita sound familiar? Do you run from battle when you need to stand firm in your purpose and intention?
I wrote last week about surfing the wave of life with strength and ease. Maybe part of strength and ease means speaking our needs – not with expectation or entitlement but to stay in purpose (dharma) and union (yoga). When I do not speak my needs in order to make another happy or to avoid ruffling their feathers, I am not being authentic. I am not, therefore practicing ahimsa (non-violence) or satya (integrity with my word). I am also not honoring the light within me or even another.
Speaking my needs must be tempered with love and compassion. I make requests rather than demands. I seek to find collaborative solutions rather than forcing my way. I take responsibility for my emotions rather than projecting or hiding them. I give people an opportunity to rise to their highest rather than being critical and destroying them. This is to be in the place of the peaceful warrior who demonstrates courage, authenticity and clarity of purpose all by opening their mouth after listening to their own heart.
For example this weekend my husband committed to an all day event the day I got home from a week-long retreat. He is a wonderful man and I know he would walk on water for me so don’t get me wrong but I was sad and annoyed. Wanting to be the supportive partner I said nothing. After reflecting I told him I was sad that I would not see him that day and asked if we could make some time to spend together the next day which of course he was thrilled to do AND was surprised and shocked that I did not say something weeks ago. He was thinking that I would be tired and want some time to myself so he scheduled himself elsewhere. Neither one of us was speaking our thoughts and both of us wanted the same thing. It all worked out of course – once we spoke our truth.
In this example I owned my emotion, told him authentically how I was feeling and then made a request which he had the autonomy to accept or reject AND I was being true to us both. I was in the place of the warrior but it did not cause war. I was speaking my needs without suppressing the needs of another. I was asking but not demanding. I was honoring myself and inviting him to do the same. Sometimes in the name of peace or going with the flow we become wall to wall carpeting. Let us all rise up as the peaceful and mouthy warriors that we are.
Wishing you a week of great conversation and kind, honest words.
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A celebrated transformational leader and a leading pioneer in embodied spirituality and Yoga, Shasta has inspired hundreds of people through her breakthrough methods for awakening and empowering your inner voice and divine power. Director, founder and senior teacher with Balanced Life Yoga, she delivers public talks, seminars and trainings on evolution and empowerment. She draws on a wide variety of techniques including Yoga, Shamanism, meditation, energy healing, coaching and the Law of Attraction. She is especially appreciated for her passionate way of allowing individuals to make sense of their world and embodied, holistic means to become the change they wish to see.
As early as in her teenage years, Shasta embarked on her journey as a spiritual explorer which led her to India, where she studied yoga, meditation and energy healing. She has studied with many remarkable mentors and she has undergone thousands of hour’s intense practice of meditation and spiritual studies. Shasta has taken every opportunity to become adept in her field through her own practice as well as through extensive training in yoga, group dynamics, meditation and spiritual counseling.